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[Campaign] ROBUSTING@HOME
"So what's up, Chimpers, my man?" I ask the monkey.
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Oh, hey, this is still going... kind of?

Wiggles Wigglesby (Test Subject Staff Assistant)

"I'm Wiggles, Chimpers is my cousin," I respond to the green man wearing a parrot as I indulge in his wares. "What is this place, and why are there floating avocados dancing around?"

Idly look for something to eat to sate my sudden urge for snacks.

Inventory
  • Worn: medical jumpsuit
  • ID: Wiggles Wigglesby (Staff Assistant)
  • Head: disgusting detective's hat
  • Ear: radio headset
  • Back: backpack
    • anesthetic tank
    • gross saxophone
    • paper
    • crayons (very colorful!)
    • standard medkit
    • ID, Gene Ticist (Geneticist)
    • PDA, Gene Ticist (GeneTek cartridge)
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Yeah roughly still going on, kinda.
Gonna keep trying to update this whenever I can, but it's like, wow am i bad at commitment.

Sam Eagle [4]
You whistle in acknowledgement of an excellent, but rather unfortunate, sharp shot.
You machine-talk: Hey Fuck, could you drag this stiff to the chef? I want burgs
Your implant buzzes back: I'll get to it in a second, I've got my own meatbag to tend to right now. Life or death, i'm afraid
Hmm- you might have another candidate if you were inclined to order it delivered...
-oh, he's being shoved in a cryotube. right across from your office. awkward.

Punch Monster [6]
You're awakened.
You're dragged.
You're in a tube.
You feel better.
Holes are closing up.
That's good right?
No birds tho.
A robot beep-boops at you.
A Librarian shushes you.

Jack Jackson [n/a]
You slip out of the office and into maintenance to go... idk, relax or something.
Something.

Adrian Clarke [2]
You hold your breath and wade through the neck-high water that is medbay's lobby.
You have a feeling in a previous career you might have tried to find the one responsible for the sinking, but boss says you're free to roam.
You roam to botany.
Inside, Selladore & some monkey chitter back and forth unintelligibly. You decide to wait around and get a feel for the situation before you make an imprudent mistake.

Selladore Kaine & Wiggles Wigglesby [5]+[5]
Your congress of the apes continues, a symphony of screeches and muttered slurred semi-english tones.
"So what's up, Chimpers, my man?" howls the green man.
"I'm Wiggles, Chimpers is my cousin," responds the monkey, in a southern accent.
The herbs smoulder and your minds expand further.
You are joined by a red man. His words mean nothing. He stares.
Wiggles rifles through his pockets and finds some bits of brains. Snack's a snack, man.
This is like, real life, man...

CAMILLA GRAVES has signed up as CHEF
Your sub pod coasts to the Oshan Laboratory and gently explodes, as designed, to liberate you in the arrival lobby.
You dash over to the locker room and load up on linens.
On the way there, you notice the botanist is up to a lot of weeds-growins & smokes-havins. Looks like a peaceful shift, as far as you can tell.
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I stare intently at the botanist and monkey. They I knock on the door and point to the wonderful plants they have grown. I'll have what they're having!
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Camilla Graves:
Noting the fact that there's a botanist on duty, which may aid me later in my quest, I'd like take my spoils back with me to the kitchen, where I'd like to dump the bedsheets in a corner and get straight to work making god knows what, probably wish sandwiches.

What? Cammy doesn't cook normally!
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Selladore Kaine:

"Ah, damn, they're here... protect yourself!" I freak and toss the pocket pistol to Wiggles. "Tell Bananabutt I said hi!"
With that, I book it for the back door of the botany, to escape into a sub.
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I exit maintenance and wander over to science to see what things they are doing.
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Sam Eagle I decide to head back out into the world to find more people dying to be turned into immortal silicon machines
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Wiggles Wigglesby (Test Subject Staff Assistant)

Catch the thing thrown at me. Sniff it. Look at the person my new friend seemed distressed to see. *wave. *fart. *laugh.

Pocket my new toy.

Inventory
  • Worn: medical jumpsuit
  • ID: Wiggles Wigglesby (Staff Assistant)
  • Head: disgusting detective's hat
  • Ear: radio headset
  • Back: backpack
    • anesthetic tank
    • gross saxophone
    • paper
    • crayons (very colorful!)
    • standard medkit
    • ID, Gene Ticist (Geneticist)
    • PDA, Gene Ticist (GeneTek cartridge)
Reply
I check the ever living fuck out of my equipment and number or limbs. Like, that's my whole minute. Screw finding out who saved me or why I'm still alive, I gotta check my shit down good and low.
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Adrian Clarke [5]
You stare at the two for a while and then knock on the glass- this seems to trigger the airlock, so you let yourself in. Before you can even greet them though, they seem to panic. The botanist is still screeching in some unknown manner.

Selladore Kaine [2]
"Ah, damn, they're here... protect yourself!" you chimper at Wiggles.
You awkwardly toss your suppressed .22 at the monkey and run for the back door. There's a little bit of water in maintenance and you slip, coming to a rest out of sight of security. Still pretty high.

Wiggles Wigglesby [1]
You fumble the gun tossed at you, and drop it. It goes off with a hell of a BANG.
your ears are ringing, and Adrian Clarke is sneering at you. He picks up the gun and stuffs it into his backpack. "contraband, bud... but i'll just forget where I found this, since you're so generous with the uh... herbal remedies you grow here." He motions to the weed, expectantly.

Camilla Graves [3]
You drag your sheets back to the kitchen and get ready to improvise some sort of "technically food" meal. As you wet the flour into dough, your maintenance airlock opens and a robot drags a body in.
"Doc said you should have this" it buzzes.
The corpse is stripped to the nude, and conspicuously the brain is missing. Must have been borged. you figure. Whelp, guess it's burger time.

Jack Jackson [1]
You do not leave maintenance. Your connection stutters.
You're typing into the goddamned command bar! wwwwwwwwswwwwwwwwwwwwddddwdwwwdddddddd FUCK! you hit Tab. You leave maintenance and immediately slip on a puddle.

Sam Eagle [6]
You leave your office and are accosted by the MD
"Hey dude wait up- found this floater. No trauma, just looks like they stood in a flooded hall until he drowned. Dunno if they're brain dead or not but the cloner's kinda gummed up so-"
He points at a corpse- it's Kickflip Brozinski.

You make short work of the debraining and cram it into the open waiting frame.
The eyes light up. oh god this might have worked

Punch Monster [n/a]
Your health indicator is going greener, thanks mostly to all this cryoxadone.
The HUD says you're still short a couple limbs, but you hear the voice of a Roboticist who seems to be doing excellent work. This will probably work out for you in another minute.
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Sam Eagle "testing, testing, do you read me Borgo?" With that I queue up some cyborg treads, arms, frame and head with the fabricators. I hope theres enough material between them! I wonder how that guy in cryo is doing. Maybe I should do an AI core frame? I head out to check on his status.
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"Wait, where is the clo... where... why am..."

I look at my (lack of) hands for a moment.
Man, I'm not getting high for a while

";...Selladore, can you either hang on to my order for a bit longer or like, enjoy it on my behalf? I appear to be a [expletive detected and deleted] lungless robot at the moment"

"Sam, my bud, my good pal, can you rename me something that isn't 'Upsilon-93' or whatever my [expletive detected and deleted] name is right now?

And over machine chat: "This thing on? Should I keep janitor-ing or like, what needs doing right now?"

Lastly, what are my laws at the moment?
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Camilla Graves --

Oh gross, it's naked!
I sacrifice a blanket to cover it as I set to work handling this brainless abomination, dragging it to the gibber to process it before it stinks up my kitchen while I debate between making it into steaks or burgers.
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The moment I stop being unconscious, I'm gonna jump up and high-five the roboticist into next week with my new robot parts, which I hope includes at least one red chainsaw.

Though if it turns out he gave me crappy light robolimbs, Im just gonna pipebomb surprise him, also into next week.
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