Best moments ever thread 2.0

[NateTheSquid]

OOC: NateTheSquid: probably my most succesful test subject round ever, forgot how robust being a monkey is. all access. stolen sleepy pen (full of drugs) stolen safari gear and boomerang, stolen suppressed pistol, magic sandals, insulated gloves, industrial space suit, full utility belt, gas mask. space suit and belt from thror, best qm

kind of a quote, but yes, i was a very well kitted and robust test subject, who, had i been a traitor, would have boomeranged the cap on the shuttle (he had smes human) tased everyone else till my taser ran out, then suppressed pistol and space everyone. i forgot i had the pistol though lol. also drugged myself with the sleepy pen after being unsure of the exact side affects of space drugs

[Tom Clancy's Gay Ghost]

I discovered that soulsteel closets can drive the floor buffer.

[locusts]

Thanks to the cooperation of Owla Ree the chaplain, I got to find out what happens when a vampire tries to thrall a chaplain.

[HydroFloric]

What happens?

[Xavieri]

What happens?

If I remember it right, the vampire gets stunned along with some damage. Your name also changes to "Name the Dracula". Has been a while I've done that, might remember this wrong.

[Superlagg]

Not too long ago on Cog1, the monkeypit received a massive pile of machine guns. When I found this stash of shooters, I immediately filled every available slot in my backpack and stolen funnypack with assault rifles. I wanted to hand them out to the newly-cloned as souvenirs, but since the only person who got cloned was arrested before he even left medbay for waving around an assault rifle and that I couldn't spell souvenir, that plan didn't go far.

Time for plan B: Arm up and wander around aimlessly with a gun in each hand.

I went to look for the detective who took my patient's gun, hoping to provoke him into doing something interesting. I ran into him in one of the hallways, at which point he stopped me and told me to be careful with these things. Fair enough.

My parade of firepower took me into the bar where Harner's evil twin piledrove my liberties into handcuffblivion. As I sat there waiting for my freedoms to return, the chef came up to me and expressed his surprise that not only did I have one of the trickiest-to-find guns in space, but also that I had two of them! Little did he know that I'd end up whipping out another six trying to fill Harner's buddies with spacelead. I offered the chef one of my guns, but he was too Swedish to accept, so I thanked him for his time and moved on.

Moments later, I found our security guard! He asked me to pull over, so I kicked it into low-gear and led him on a leisurely chase through the hallways. He took careful aim with his tazer, but it was no match for my walking pace; his battery ran out and I was still strolling free as a spaceman should be. Then he took out his baton and started swinging, but much like his stungun, all it met was the floor. He managed to tag me with the baton eventually, but his technique was off, so he stunned himself instead. Hah.

The shuttle arrived, which gave me another idea: Bring a monkey on board! I dragged one of the gun-having monkeys onto the shuttle, then tossed all of my spare guns onto the floor so that we could show Centcom how much we love freedom. Someone slapped the monkey and immediately died, which prompted the detective to mow down one of the badguys. Someone else wanted to shoot the badguy too, but missed and filled the detective full of holes. I shrugged and open fired, to which I was plastered by someone else. Of the eight or so people on the shuttle, I think only the monkey survived.

[aft2001]

Had an amazing round on LLJK1 yesterday.

So, I was the janitor and was just cleaning and stuff, and in the middle of the round, SURPRISE ANTAG FOR ME! I was given the goal of becoming a legendary janitor. So I did. I ran around cleaning as much as I could. Then I got bored and decided to use my Anti-Janitor gimmick!

I loaded my mop bucket with my blood and started mopping down Central Primary, covering it in blood. Many people noticed but only a few people said anything, and I was left to mop. Eventually I loaded some of my blood that I scooped up from the apparently duplicated blood from the floor into my empty buffer. Then I went around Starboard Primary, covering it in blood. Earlier I also used the chemdispenser someone built in my office to make a smoke + blood + gibs + dirt beaker mixture next to Escape. I did the same before I had to go in Medbay. THEN I SET OFF 3 WELDER TANK EXPLOSIONS IN CENTRAL PRIMARY!

And on that day I became a legendary janitor...

Oh and the RD was using Telesci to kidnap and torture people. Good stuff.

[Atlz90]

anima, woooo

[NateTheSquid]

I had teleportitis after eating a shit ton of floorpills, but I was still alive, and I was walking around looking for more floorpills. I had just found another pill bottle, near disposals, and was breaking them all into a beaker, so I could turn them into one pill and have them all at the same time, when my teleportitis kicked in, and I got teleported, directly into the crusher.

[Mageziya]

I started a round as a scientist, and to my luck, art lab started with an artifact beaker. I decided that I'd spend the round trying to produce triple meth.

13,500 units of meth produced later, and I was having a terrible time in trying to produce triple meth. Low and behold, to my luck, a demonic cluwne god happened to be wandering near by, puking clown spiders as it went.

I had about 12,000 units of meth left, so I decided to try and trade it to the cluwne god in exchange for... anything.

In exchange for the meth I received an infinitely charging shrink-ray for an arm.

Let's just say that many things became... smol.

[Firebarrage]

I started a round as a scientist, and to my luck, art lab started with an artifact beaker. I decided that I'd spend the round trying to produce triple meth.

13,500 units of meth produced later, and I was having a terrible time in trying to produce triple meth. Low and behold, to my luck, a demonic cluwne god happened to be wandering near by, puking clown spiders as it went.

I had about 12,000 units of meth left, so I decided to try and trade it to the cluwne god in exchange for... anything.

In exchange for the meth I received an infinitely charging shrink-ray for an arm.

Let's just say that many things became... smol.

A good trade. I was on my own little side plot that round. I was the RD, and accidentally stunned some guy while working in telesci. To make it up to him I offered to grant him any wish telesci could fulfil. He asked me to steal whatever would make the crew the most angry. So I stole the AI (which pissed a few people off until they got distracted by the clownspider problem). At this point the AI realized I wasn't going to murder it and was pretty cool about the whole thing. So I offered to make it a human. It accepted, and I shoved him in a cloner and promoted a borg to be the new AI. When the old AI popped out of the cloner he decided that he was too human, and that I needed to add in at least a few robotic parts. After some discussion this turned into replacing as much of him as I could with robo parts. Two arms, two treads, a heart, a robutt, and two eyes later we emerge from robotics into the clownspider packed hell. At this point I immediately got shrunk by Mageziya and we both escaped alive, albeit tiny. A great round for all.

[Haprenti]

I had teleportitis after eating a shit ton of floorpills, but I was still alive, and I was walking around looking for more floorpills. I had just found another pill bottle, near disposals, and was breaking them all into a beaker, so I could turn them into one pill and have them all at the same time, when my teleportitis kicked in, and I got teleported, directly into the crusher.

I was making a telecrystal/viscerite jumpsuit at the smelter. I put it on and 6 seconds after was teleported directly onto the crusher.

[Sam Eagle]

I had a fantastic time last night. I started as roboticist and was quickly consumed by a changeling. I recently came back to the game after being away for quite a while, and I was VERY pleasantly surprised by the changeling changes. I started doing my best to provide helpful advice and the hivemind grew quickly, with many other people not being familiar just yet. We ended up with a fun little chat community going back and forth, while helping the master. Really stood out as a great gaming experience for me!

[Roomba]

I was making a telecrystal/viscerite jumpsuit at the smelter. I put it on and 6 seconds after was teleported directly onto the crusher.

That reminds me of a fun crusher-related incident I sadly forgot to screenshot. A telescientist spent half the round scavenging for singularity parts and assembled it in the research outpost (with a little help from a bored admin). Shortly afterwards, it was released by a rogue borg, floated towards the station and proceeded to chew through Research and Medbay in short order. Eventually, it took a little detour from chasing the last few survivors down the QM hallway, floated into disposals and promptly vanished. After much confusion and debate in deadchat, it was generally agreed that the singulo had in fact floated into the crusher and was promptly annihilated.

The singulo got its revenge though. Shortly afterwards, a black hole spawned in the smelter and ate the remains of disposals, crusher included.

[NateTheSquid]

I also teleported into the crusher a while back but it was because of teleportitis. I'd been munching as many floorpills as I could, and taking out the super bad things so I'd die just a little less. I found another thing of floorpills, was dissolving them into a beaker to check in a machine later, when my teleportits kicked in, teleported directly on top of the crusher, instantly destroyed, while the crusher door was closed, mind you. The only thing that remained of me was a large beaker full of floorpill juice in the arc smelter