Best moments ever thread 2.0

[CaptainBravo]

magic hands, baby

to put this into context he ran up hit once and that knocked me out, which is quite unfair

to put it further into context you had made a quip before the round that your muscles could beat/knock out anyone or something, and i told you i'd teach your muscles what toilet water felt like. owned nerd

[Xeram]

A group of about 10 of us went on a mission to the ice moon.
The team included me and a few other scientists, the captain, the HoS, a borg, the AI in it's shell and two medbots.
Not to spoil what was on the planet, let's just say we killed a lot of scary shit, including one giant scary thing...But in the end....none survived...

Meanwhile as you guys pranced around and slipped on the ice moon, I was being a walking death blob of DNA and consumed somewhere between 24 - 27 people before Damien Garney got up really fast from a acid shot to the face and KO'd me with a two hit crowbar.

[Sundance]

That was the scariest moment of my spaceman life, the wendigo scream in my ear.

My death included me falling off a cliff and landing with a crack and breaking all the bones in my body.

Meanwhile the HoS wonders off from the group and gets hilariously crushed by an elevator
Too bad nobody saw. You probably saw my gibs though.

[Saxophone Jones]

Adding to the Ice World stories, I ended up being the last man in a recent expedition. Near the end of the round, Wendigos start appearing. Cue me slowly going insane, up until one of them finally gets inside and kills as as I scream at it to die.

[Readster]

That was the scariest moment of my spaceman life, the wendigo scream in my ear.

My death included me falling off a cliff and landing with a crack and breaking all the bones in my body.

Meanwhile the HoS wonders off from the group and gets hilariously crushed by an elevator
Too bad nobody saw. You probably saw my gibs though.

Oh so that's where you went. I remember you just disappearing at one point with no scream or cry for help.
At least when anyone else got seperated they screamed down the radio and cluttered up the chat with cries of being eaten alive by a horrible creature and it's children.
Timothy Ackerley [145.9] says, "MYLES DID YOU GO EAST OR WEST OF THE BLOOD"

[Xenonia]

Back with the ice moon, once upon a time the noble Herb Garden, his loyal sidekick Rafael Cox, Comedic relief Bob Loblaw, and spunky love interest for Rafael, Lilian Greene ( I think ). Upon arrival, everyone who wasn't Herb promptly began gasping to death. Fortunately, He managed to rescue Lilian and the others found their way to the ice station. Soon, they were on their way to get up and running, using Walter Poehl's corpse as a volunteer for furnace fuel. However, the SMES wasn't charging, so the admins were helped, and out of nowhere came the fabled TECH SUPPORT MAEN. He fixed that place in a jiff, good as new. And then some guy got fed to the wendigos.

[Weavel]

Hey guess what it's a story about ice moon

I knew what I was in for when I started getting supplies. Extra clothes just to burn, fire extinguisher, full toolset, extra oxygen. I waited for the AI to open research expecting to be alone.

Instead, suddenly, an Electrician showed up, Lilian Reade. She'd been preparing as well. We asked the scientist there to beam us in.

I went first. I had the space suit.

I arrived, and knew what I had to do. I grabbed an abandoned crate and started slipping my way towards the science center. Before long, I had the thing opened, and was shoving the contents (5,000 credits) into the furnace for fuel, along with a box of paper. Lilian showed up soon enough, heading into the back rooms to grab gear while I made magic with the Chemical Dispenser.

So I went about my business there; I scaveneged a tonne of things from the vending machine and made myself Tricord pills, thermite pills and strange reagent, too. With that, I went into the back room to get some Bicardine patches, but something was... different.

Lilian was gone.

I asked where she was over the radio, but got no reply, from either her or the other scientist she'd slapped on our multi-frequency headsets. I thought nothing of it, so I fucked off back to start stuffing the furnace with more fuel.

Wendigo sniffs.

I freaked out. Suddenly the doors were going haywire, and I could hear a Wendigo chuckling in the corner.
I ran into the furnace room and closed the door, screaming for Lilian to answer me. To calm myself down, I started slowly filling the furnace with jumpsuits, desperately waiting for a reply.

The door opened. Outside, on the ground, was Lilian's PDA. It wasn't there before.
Then, the door closed itself. And opened again.

The PDA had moved.

I picked it up, and read what was on the screen.

ATE HER

I welded the PDA into the crate in the room and ran outside. The door to the exit had been welded and bolted. Suddenly, I heard more and more wendigo noises, and started to freak the fuck out.
Then, remembering my earlier chemical exploits, I valiantly threw thermite and napalm on a wall, and shouted into the ether, "YOU CAN'T TRAP A CHEMIST!"

Nothing. No effect. Wendigo giggles all around me. So, I did the only thing I could do.

I flipped the fuck out and took a load of drugs.

I stuffed my face with Hyperzine and tricord and ran into the back rooms, unaware that an invisible wendigo was hunting me. I got shoved around and screamed, and when I ran back, the door was welded. I opened it again, only to suddenly get this message:



Suitably terrified, I tried my best to hack open the door before giving up and cutting all the wires, then shoving a crowbar in the gap. The second I had it opened, I sprinted outside; this was a mistake.



My legs were fucked. I was lying half-dead in a liquid carbon dioxide river. I stumbled around, struggling to find any sort of route, before smashing my way through a wooden barricade. More bolted doors.

Then this.



Frozen and terrified, I slipped and dragged myself around the ice caves. Curiously, I found a baby ice spider. Not having a clue what it was, and in a frozen drugged up haze, I went to go pet the thing.

It bit me. A lot.

My blood now full of cryostylane, I knew I didn't have long. I took out my tricord pills, but shaking so much, I managed to tip the entire thing out onto the floor. I scrambled to pick them up, but from the corner of my eye, I saw what was to by my death.

An ice spider queen.

[Readster]

That story was truly great.
I didn't even realise there was a facility though. When we were exploring it we took the elevator down and explored that cave you were in. We actually killed the Ice Spider Queen and grabbed the treasure it was guarding, the *SPOILER*.
The caves are much worse than the facility though. Maze like, full of spiders, dark, easy to get seperated and worst of all...impossible to figure out where the fuck to go. That damn glowing wall...curse it...

[CaptainBravo]

Code:

Ensign Daeren  [145.9] says, "attention all cyborgs, i will start beating any and all cyborgs i see in the engine to death thanks to  you fuckers constantly interfering and trying to break things and meowing"

meow. the breaking stuff/interfering was not me.

[CaptainBravo]

after a nice brisk walk through the void i once again wound up with some tk and an imitation knife and ghostbusting gun. i broke all of the lights, busted all of the ghosts, and hit rube potter and some random guy that thought he could usurp my power in the groin. thus proving that you should just kill me on the spot rather than let me come close to a void portal.

[Klayboxx]

MOD EDIT : YES THIS PICTURE OF THE ARRIVAL SHUTTLE ADDS A LOT WITH NO EXPLANATION I AM A GREAT POSTER

You jerks, I just thought it was neat that the crew made a star in that brief moment before the round starts and everyone is in the arrivals shuttle. Way to be LAME

[CaptainBravo]

after a plea for the AI to announce some MASKED WRESTLING over the intercom it was time to throw down. sadly the AI forgot the masked part so i was the only real luchadore present, but i still floorslammed Devin Jowers into crit with my amazing grappling prowess, proving Mexican wrestling to be superior. my honor as a luchadore would not permit me to demask to give him CPR, and he died, but Tyrone Saxophone Jones avenged him(it didn't help that he was punching my lights out while i was still trying to floorslam). i killed myself in the ring afterwards out of shame.

later on there was also some kind of tournament for prizes or something. you get one guess as to who got knocked out in one punch.

[Tagman]

>You are Mr. Pink, the Detective!
>You are a traitor!

Oh boy.

My job was to assassinate 3 crew members and escape on the shuttle alive, sounds easy enough right? My first target was the QM, and would probably be the easiest. After hanging around the cargo bay for a while, I decided it would be better to stay back for a while, after all, the round had only just begun.

On my way back to my office, I saw that a fellow traitor's body was being thrown out an airlock by a botanist named 'Raul'. I came up behind Raul.

"Hello Detective"

He was covered in blood from head to toe and was carrying a fire extinguisher. I disarmed him then shoved him to the ground.

"Wait!"

I grabbed him.

"He's a traitor!"

I grabbed him (now hands!).

"I saw him-"

I grabbed him (now neck!).

"-trying to"

I chucked him as far as I could out the open airlock, the door closed behind him. Goodbye Raul.

After getting my traitor-buddy cloned and after buying a sleepy pen, I returned to the cargo bay. There were less people here now, so I set my cunning plan into motion.

"Hey this machine isn't working" (Mr. Pink)

"Well what's wrong with it?" (QM)

"I'm not sure, could you come check it out?" (Mr.Pink)

"Well what did you want to order? We could put it in manually?" (QM)

"I don't know, could you just come take a look?"
(Mr. Pink)

"Do you want mining equipment?" (QM)

"Look, I REALLY think you should come fix the machine"
(Mr. Pink)

"Alright" (QM)

I was on her as soon as she opened the door. After around my 4th sleepy-pen jab, I realised that it takes a bit for the anesthesia to kick in. "Sleepy pen!" she yelled over the radio, alerting her assistant and pretty much everyone in the station. I chased her throughout cargo bay as her assistant was chasing me. My cloned traitor-friend from before had returned and was able to subdue the assistant though. I followed the QM to the end of cargo bay and somehow (through good timing or just luck) she fell asleep on the loading conveyor-system. The safety doors were open and she was launched into space. That was easy.

Unfortunately, my traitor-bro was unable to hold the cargo assistant for very long, and he was able to call security. The assistant explained everything, and me and my partner were promptly port-a-brig'd.

I woke up in a cell with a man named 'Morgan Freecock'. My traitor-hombre was nowhere to be seen, and apparently he had managed to escape. Me and Morgan made small talk until the Captain made a personal visit.

"Mr. Pink" (Captain)

"Yes sir." (Mr. Pink)

"We have decided to spare your life, you will no longer be executed, but you will be borged, just tell us the names of your targets." (Captain)

I whispered to Morgan

"Execute plan 'fight until they break us up'."

Me and Morgan began to violently punch and kick eachother until the HoP was sent in.

"Lie down on your bed and we will not kill you" (HoP)

No way I was doing that. I rushed into the bathroom and waited. I realised I was gonna have to kill or be killed. My plan was to rush out the door and murderize everyone in sight. Again, by luck or good timing, I rushed out just as the HoP was coming in, and I was able to disarm his stun gun. I shot him. He got up with his stun stick in hand. I shot him again. He didn't get up. I took his stun stick and bashed him until all the energy was drained. The Captain and 2 security guards watched in awe. I knew I had to say something. I had to show these guys that I meant buisness. The moment was perfect.

"Don't fuck with me motherfuckers."

Little did I know, the HoP had recovered, and he blindsided me while I was distracted. I was knocked out. Bombs went off near the security station, and next thing I know I'm dead.

The Captain and his little crew may think they had a victory that day, but they are wrong. Mr. Pink showed them that their system is weak, and that justice will always be served. So remember everyone, Mr. Pink will always be there; watching, waiting, hunting. Evil-doers beware! There's a new hero on the station!

FIN

"That Mr. Pink was pretty cool"

[Cogwerks]

cogmap engineering.txt

Buddy Chumps: Alrighty
Buddy Chumps: Wish me luck
Buddy Chumps: And put me out if I'm on fire.
Buddy Chumps: Show me some life, baby.
Buddy Chumps: oh boy!
Buddy Chumps: ok
Buddy Chumps: now we're getting somewhere
Buddy Chumps: This is a little better
Buddy Chumps: I really need to get the hot loop pressure down
Buddy Chumps: Just trying one thing at a time trying to get better engine effenciences
Buddy Chumps: Welp
Buddy Chumps: Time to get risky.
Buddy Chumps: We need more heat.
Buddy Chumps: :h yes. oxygen and plasma
Buddy Chumps: :h I'm going to start the loop on a low pump
Buddy Chumps: I'm going to kill some furnaces. go ahead and get this bitch fired up
Buddy Chumps: :h Thanks. Throw the valve please.
Buddy Chumps: need heat badly.
Buddy Chumps: Give it a ltite time it should warm up
Buddy Chumps: :h Nice. wattage, temperature climbing
Buddy Chumps: :h pressure lowering
Buddy Chumps: :h er..
Buddy Chumps: yep
Buddy Chumps: we'll have to kill the hot loop in a bit
Buddy Chumps: Hmm..
Buddy Chumps screams!
Buddy Chumps: KILL IT
Buddy Chumps: jesus what happened
Buddy Chumps: Shit
Buddy Chumps: Shit
Buddy Chumps: Hot loop is about to blow
Buddy Chumps: kill the furnaces
Buddy Chumps: :h lets shut down the furnaces
Buddy Chumps: :h Fuck vent
Buddy Chumps: :h VENT VENT
Buddy Chumps screams!

[Cogwerks]

oh uh this is some mischief i got up to as Warden Thuglyfe on one of the Serious Roleplaying servers a few months ago, someone wanted me to crosspost it here.


THE RAPPER feat. G-WELLS

Arrivals Announcement Computer [145.9] states, ""Clovis P. Thuglife, Warden, has arrived on the station.""
You are the Warden.
As the Warden you answer directly to the head of security. Special circumstances may change this.

Bradley Pringle [145.9] says, " what an interesting Name Mr Thuglife"
Clovis P. Thuglife [145.9] says, "It's French."
You put the the box of crayons into the security backpack.

Onwards to the Solitary Confinement area, where a ruckus is happening...

Gunner Wells has attempted to punch Gunner Wells!
Shizune Hakamichi says, "Right. Commander, if you don't mind, I don't think these prisoners need my attention."
Gunner Wells has punched Gunner Wells!
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Who is this jerk"
Medical Cyborg-612 states, "Stop injuring yourself And I will stop coming in here"
Gunner Wells finishes eating the chips.
Gunner Wells says, "I keep dropping my chips"
Gunner Wells has thrown Chips.
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Tsk tsk."
Clovis P. Thuglife asks, "What did you do?"
Gunner Wells waves
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Life of crime or something?"
Gunner Wells says, "I had a hobby"
Clovis P. Thuglife asks, "Want a new hobby?"
Gunner Wells asks, "What would that be?"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "I suggest art. Art is good for soothing the soul."
Clovis P. Thuglife has thrown the box of crayons.

(HOS) Byrne McCready says, "Gunner, stop harrassing my security."
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "He's not."
Gunner Wells waves
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "I'm conducting prison art classes."
Gunner Wells says, "Sup pig"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Yes, a pig is a good subject to draw."
Clovis P. Thuglife exclaims, "Remember to push the composition!"

Gunner Wells asks, "Is that daniel guy Really a cop?"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Daniel? I don't know who that is."
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Sounds like a jerk."
Gunner Wells says, "I wrote a song about them earlier"
Gunner Wells says, "Daniel Cox, covered in pocks, marshmellow shooter, ain't got a cooter"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Damn dude. Lemme fetch a tape recorder, you can work on your music career from prison. Gets you mad street cred."
Gunner Wells says, "Rad."
Clovis P. Thuglife salutes.

Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Yo boss"
Byrne McCready asks, "Yeah?"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Can I have the tape recorder from your office?"
Byrne McCready asks, "Whatever for?"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "The prisoner is working on his music career."
Byrne McCready says, "No."
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Jail LPs sell like hotcakes, mad street cred."
Byrne McCready says, "I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that."

Luckily the library has a recorder sitting around.

Clovis P. Thuglife has thrown the universal recorder.
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "All yours."
Gunner Wells says, "Swag yo"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Good luck with your recording work."
Clovis P. Thuglife salutes.
Gunner Wells waves
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "I'll check in later. Gonna go set up some press about your new E.P."
Gunner Wells says, "Nice"

Byrne McCready [Security] says, "Warden, you have made a mockery of my prison."

Maggie Priebe says, "Hello, mister Thuglife."
Maggie Priebe salutes formally.
Sienna Carlotta nods affably.

newscaster beeps, "Breaking news from Thuglife Records, Inc.!"

BACK IN THE BRIG, WE SEE THE RESULTS OF THE ART CLASS AND THE FIRST RAP.



Gunner Wells says, "Arrest boners up in this hizzle"
Gunner Wells says, "I say pigs just need to chizzle"
Clovis P. Thuglife nods.
Gunner Wells says, "Nobody know the shit that happen, just go by one guy whos chappen"
Gunner Wells waves
Clovis P. Thuglife has thrown the newspaper.
Gunner Wells asks, "Redacted?"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "What is"
Gunner Wells has thrown the newspaper.
Gunner Wells says, "I think somebody out there really don't want me to have a rap career"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "How in the hell does a printed paper get redacted AFTER being printed"
After some fiddling, Gunner Wells manages to light their cigarette with the cheap lighter.
Gunner Wells quietly shuts off the the cheap lighter.
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "This is an outrage."
Gunner Wells says, "Well, I got two singles and mister ducky by my side"
Clovis P. Thuglife asks, "How's the record coming along?"
Gunner Wells says, "I just printed out the manuscripts"
Gunner Wells says, "Gotta clean it up for a good version"



Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Good god man, a rap about ganache"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "This is some heavy stuff."
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "The people gotta hear your art."
(CAPTAIN) Anton Forellie asks, "What the hell happened here?"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Captain, quiet please. Recording session in progress."
Gunner Wells waves
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "I'll be back. Keep up the good work. Don't let THE MAN stand in the way of your dreams."

Clovis P. Thuglife asks, "HoS, did you redact my newsfeed?"
Byrne McCready says, "I did not think of it."
Byrne McCready says, "But I should have"

newscaster beeps, "Breaking news from Thuglife Records, Inc.!"
Sienna Carlotta [145.9] asks, "Is Wells' rap as terrible as his door hacking?"





Rayleigh Tireman [145.9] says, " I wish to preform a funeral for the crewman smoke carter. I can do this over the comms if we are unable to leave our stations."
Rayleigh Tireman [145.9] asks, " are there any others that wish to attened?"

Gunner Wells says, "I heard my homey smokes having a funeral"
Byrne McCready says, "Yup"
Gunner Wells asks, "Any chance I'd be able to attend and pay my respects?"
Byrne McCready says, "Absolutely not."
Byrne McCready says, "Back against the wall please."
Gunner Wells says, "Have a heart"
Byrne McCready is trying to put some handcuffs on Gunner Wells
Gunner Wells says, "That seemed unnecessary"
Clovis P. Thuglife asks, "What's going on?"
Byrne McCready says, "He will pay his respects and leave."

IN THE CHAPEL, WE ARRIVE FOR THE FUNERAL OF SMOKES CARTER

Byrne McCready says, "Captain, I am taking the prisoner to pay his respects."
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Heads up, MC G-Wells in the house."
Gunner Wells tries to spit out the cigarette but it gets stuck in his beard
Byrne McCready says, "I will taze you, show some respect."
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Who's the stiff?"
Maye Day says, "Show some respect, Clovis."
Rayleigh Tireman says, "We are here for Smoke Carter. sir."
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Ah, Big Smoke. Cut down in his prime."
Byrne McCready says, "I give you one last chance, Warden. We will demote you so fast."
Jessica Wile whispers something.
Byrne McCready says, "Please continue Priest."
Clovis P. Thuglife yawns.
Rayleigh Tireman asks, "Right, at this time I ask if there are any among us who have anything they wish to say ?"
Clovis P. Thuglife waves.
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "I have a statement prepared."
Rayleigh Tireman says, "As this is the appropriat time to speak you may do so freely."
Byrne McCready whispers, "If you disrepect him in anyway."

Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Life. Life is short."
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Our friend Big Smoke learned this too soon."
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "And lo, though he walked in the shadow of the valley of death, he forgot his flashlight and lost his way."
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "He died as he lived - like a straight up busta."
Clovis P. Thuglife nods.
Maggie Priebe says, "Amen."
Maye Day pinches the bridge of her nose.
Rayleigh Tireman says, "Wel... right."
Jessica Wile stares forward in shock

Gunner Wells says, "I also have something as well"
Gunner Wells says, "If I'd be allowed to approach"
Rayleigh Tireman says, "Then speak freely. I ask you speak from there or have an officer accompany you."
Byrne McCready whispers, "d**'* m*k* *e *i****ce ***s"
Gunner Wells says, "Smoke, was an interesting guy, and sometimes he didnt always make the right decisions"
Gunner Wells says, "But he always had the best intentions, usually"
Gunner Wells says, "And I don't think I'd be the man I am today without him"
Gunner Wells says, "Smoke, I'll miss you man"
Gunner Wells cries

Rayleigh Tireman says, "Then. as we have all ready pushed the time allowed at a furneral as directed by NT standards. I will prepair him for ejection into space and offer a prayer."
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "There goes a busta."
Gunner Wells says, "Smoke in the space wind"
Rayleigh Tireman says, "Grand Sandman. though in life this man has not accepted you, I ask that as he wanders in you realm...."
Rayleigh Tireman says, "You guide him and protect him from corruption so he may find you glory and rest in eternal bliss within the lucid realm."
Rayleigh Tireman says, "We sleep in your name."

THE COFFIN IS LAUNCHED TO SPACE

Gunner Wells says, "Goodbye smoke"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "As is the custom of my people, I must now express my grief through the poetry of gunfire. Please do not be alarmed."
Clovis P. Thuglife cries.
You fire the taser gun!
You fire the taser gun!
You fire the taser gun!
You fire the taser gun!
You fire the taser gun!
*click* I empty the clip into a nearby wall.
Jessica Wile says, "What th--"
Bradley Pringle says, "Really."
Maye Day asks, "Sir?"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Thanks, I needed that."
Maye Day asks, "Permission to beat the everliving crap out of him?"
Anton Forellie says, "Granted"
Gunner Wells says, "Smokes would have wanted him to do that"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Hey, don't be intolerant."
Byrne McCready draws the energy gun, pointing it at the ground.
Clovis P. Thuglife stares.
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "What are you doing"
Byrne McCready says, "Do me proud Maye."
Byrne McCready points to Clovis P. Thuglife
Maye Day says, "Oh, aye sir." A WEAPON IS DRAWN ON ME
Maye Day says, "C'mere you"
Clovis P. Thuglife says, "Stop this."
You fire the taser gun!
Maye Day is hit by the electrode in the chest!
Byrne McCready fires the energy gun!
Clovis P. Thuglife is hit by the electrode in the chest!
Byrne McCready fires the energy gun!
Clovis P. Thuglife is hit by the electrode in the chest!
Byrne McCready fires the energy gun!
Clovis P. Thuglife is hit by the electrode in the chest!
Byrne McCready fires the energy gun!
Clovis P. Thuglife is hit by the electrode in the chest!

And thus began twenty minutes of getting beaten and peppersprayed until a meteor slammed into the brig and I died.


The traitors were:
Nernums was Gunner Wells (survived)
Objective #1: Steal an RCD. Fail.
Objective #2: Escape on the shuttle or an escape pod alive. Fail.
The traitor has failed!


OOC: Nernums: I am the best rapper
OOC: Thejesster14: Gunner Wells, right before the meteors hit, I read your transcripts and died laughing.
OOC: Nernums: I thank you for all the stuff you did Cogwerks, made being arrested for 75% of the round not so bad, infact, very good.