Lilian Reade, X15-Theta Expedition Log

[Cogwerks]

PERSONAL AUDIO RECORDER
USER: L. READE, ELECTRICIAN, NT13
--RECORDING BEGINS--

Lilian Reade: TO THE MOON
Old Hitman Jenkins: never been there before
Lilian Reade: IS THIS FOR ICE PLANET
Lilian Reade: FUCK OFF BOB YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A SUIT YOU DUMB SHIT
Bob Loblaw: Trust me
Bob Loblaw smiles.
Lilian Reade: I'M NOT BEAMING YOU UP SCOTTY
Bob Loblaw: I dont need a suit
Bob Loblaw flexes his muscles.
Bob Loblaw: SEND ME AWAY
Billy Mays: where are we going
Herb Garden: Do you want to die out here Dan
Discount Dan screams!
Lilian Reade: why is everyone coming in here you dumb fuck
Billy Mays: WHY ARE WE YELLING

After much arguing and fighting and the teleporter pad catching on fire a few times, the first scouts make it to the frozen moon X-15

Herb Garden: ;Jenkins did you make it safe?

The first scout through the portal, Jenkins, is already MIA. He is never found.

Billy Mays; oh god its cold
Lilian Reade coughs.
Discount Dan gasps.
Discount Dan: OH GOD
Lilian Reade gasps.
Lilian Reade: OH CHRIST MY AIR.
Lilian Reade gasps.
Billy Mays gasps.
Lilian Reade (Adhesive): Jesus. Watch your step, boys.
Cyborg Zeta-84: OH NO

SOMEHOW a bunch of the other members of the first team disappear into the dark and are never heard from again.

Bob Loblaw: ;THEY'RE ALL DEAD
Bob Loblaw: ;EVERYONE ON THE AWAY TEAM IS DEAD
Bob Loblaw: ;Everyone but me... again
Lilian Reade: ;I'm not dead.
Lilian Reade: :h Anyone read me?
Walter Poehl: SEND ME
Bob Loblaw: You wont last
Walter Poehl gasps.
Walter Poehl: NO AIR
Walter Poehl screams!
Bob Loblaw: See?
Lilian Reade screams!
Walter Poehl gasps.
Discount Dan seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless.
Lilian Reade cries.
Bob Loblaw sighs.
Rafael Cox: Cold as hell.
Cyborg Zeta-84: ;The situation is...dire.

Herb Garden finally finds the abandoned science lab out on a glacial plateau.

Herb Garden: Lilian!
Lilian Reade (Adhesive): Oh god holy shit.
Lilian Reade: You saved me.
Herb Garden: You're safe here.
Herb Garden: We're staying inside.
Lilian Reade: Oh christ we can make leporazine
Herb Garden: Do you think we should go out and search for survivors?
Walter Poehl seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
Herb Garden: GUYS. GET IN. NOW.
Herb Garden: Walter died.
Herb Garden: Like a fucking loser. The amount of bodies piling up is horrifying

The team finds the furnaces in the abandoned lab and they get An Idea.

Lilian Reade: Put his clothes in first
Bob Loblaw: We need fuel
Lilian Reade: If you're going to burn him
Rafael Cox: Yeah, clothes first.
Bob Loblaw: Lets stay as a group

The expedition's janitor, Rafael Cox, starts cleaning up all the blood stains around the research lab.

Rafael Cox: A clean work environment is a happy work environment.
Rafael Cox: It has been a lifetime of cleaning, leading to this single moment.

Bob Loblaw: Guys... the main station is mostly dead
Bob Loblaw: Its just us
Bob Loblaw: Im going to... find the captain

Later...

Roscoe Kaur: ;So is Research sending teams to some kind of moonbase
Santiago Ellis: ;HELP! THERES AN INVISIBLE GUY!

Back on the ice moon...

Lilian Reade: I'm sending a
distress signal.
Bob Loblaw: :h Open up you motherfuckers
Lilian Reade: Save that burger for later.
Herb Garden: LOCKERS! FULL OF CLOTHES
Rafael Cox: This place is filthy as heck!
Herb Garden: Bring that body here
Herb Garden: We can use him
Rafael Cox: Dump those nasty bodies in the burners too.
Herb Garden: We need more fuel anyway
Bob Loblaw: I found booze...
Bob Loblaw: Drown your sorrows away
Rafael Cox: Sorrows? I feel great!
Lilian Reade: Well on the bright side we have a bathroom.
Lilian Reade: And spare air.
Herb Garden: Ew, you're a girl, I'm not using the same bathroom as you

Bob Loblaw: :h Team, I have a way to get into medical
Bob Loblaw: This might be lead to death
Herb Garden: Break down the door already you pussy
Herb Garden: NEAT
Bob Loblaw: MINE
Lilian Reade: Medical supplies.

Zack Mild:;Hey telescience I'm in the research hanger, can I got to Ice planet? Have spacesuit will travel.
Herb Garden: ;We need more fuel for our furnace here at Theta.

A new arrival named Erik Muller shows up at the ice base and walks on in to find the group of Bob, Herb and Lilian.

Lilian Reade: holy christ.
Herb Garden: HOW DID YOU GET HERE
Erik Muller: HEY
Herb Garden: WHO ARE YOU
The wendigo howls!
Bob Loblaw: DONT YOU HEAR IT?
Herb Garden: WHERE DID ERIK OH GOD
Herb Garden: WENDIGOS
Lilian Reade: WENDIGOOOOS
Herb Garden: RUN AND HIDE
Lilian Reade: KILL THE WENDIGO
Erik Muller: THE HELL
Bob Loblaw: HE IS ONE OF THEM
Bob Loblaw: ONE OF THEM
Lilian Reade: CUT HIS BRAIN OUT
Rafael Cox: That's a white suit!
Herb Garden: WENDIGO YOU CAN'T FOOL US
Rafael Cox: That's not a wendigo costume!
The wendigo howls!
Lilian Reade: WE'VE ENRAGED HIS BRETHREN
Herb Garden: PUSH HIM OVER THE CLIFF
Rafael Cox: You mustn't!
Herb Garden: GIVE HIM BACK TO HIS WENDIGO TRIBE
Erik Muller: THEY WILL AVENGE ME
Rafael Cox: We will all die horribly and be murdered and all life will run out of our crippled forms.

They throw Erik over the cliffs into the abyss, and run back inside to find the lab on fire and the janitor also on fire.

Bob Loblaw: WHO SET COX ON FIRE
Rafael Cox: I AM JANITOR OF THE MONTH
Herb Garden: CHILL MAN
Bob Loblaw: WE ARE ON AN ICE MOON
Bob Loblaw: I AM CHILL

Zack Mild and Scott Mescudi have finally fixed telescience back up. They enter the lab from the access bridge. Scott is promptly beaten up by the increasingly more paranoid team inside the science lab.

Lilian Reade: BOB PLEASE NO
Lilian Reade: HE'S NOT A WENDIGO
Lilian Reade: HE'S TOO BLACK TO BE A WENDIGO
The wendigo howls!
Lilian Reade: OH GOD THE WENDIGOS ARE COMING THEY KNOW WE'RE HERE
Lilian Reade: OKAY I WELDED THE FRONT DOOR SHUT
Bob Loblaw: HE IS ONE OF THEM
Bob Loblaw: EAT HIM
Bob Loblaw: EAT HIM

Lilian drags the now knocked-out and bleeding Scott Mescudi into the outpost bathroom and locks him in to keep the others from trying to murder him.

Lilian Reade: WE'RE SAFE KEEPING HIM
Lilian Reade: TRUST ME YOU ARE SAFER HERE
Bob Loblaw: Weld the bathroom
Scott Mescudi screams!
Scott Mescudi (DEAD): Woah I just burst open.
Lilian Reade: OH GOD
Lilian Reade: HE WAS FULL OF SPIDERS
Bob Loblaw: I TOLD YOU
Lilian Reade: BOB WAS RIGHT
Lilian Reade: SCOTT WAS FULL OF SPIDERS
Rafael Cox: REALLY? Oh god.
Lilian Reade: THE BATHROOM IS WELDED SHUT
Lilian Reade: IT HAS SPIDERS IN IT
Lilian Reade: BOB
Lilian Reade: I'M SORRY I DOUBTED YOU

Lilian Reade: Where is Herb?
Lilian Reade: We have options
Lilian Reade: We can stay here where the wendigos know where we are
Lilian Reade: Or we can go where wendigos DON'T know where we are
Zack Mild: You guys are nuts
Zack Mild: I'm going out on my own
Lilian Reade: You can go outside if you want
Lilian Reade: See how long you last
Rafael Cox: You're free to make it for yourself out there, then.
Lilian Reade: Weld it behind you

The wendigo howls!

Lilian Reade:;WENDIGOS
Lilian Reade:;THEY SEE US
Lilian Reade: OH GOD
Lilian Reade: LOOK
Lilian Reade: OUTSIDE
Lilian Reade: OH JESUS
The wendigo howls!
Lilian Reade: OH MY GOD
Zack Mild:;AHHHHHHHHHH
Lilian Reade: MOVE
Lilian Reade: GOTTA WELD THIS DOOR
The wendigo swipes a chunk out of Zach Mild!
The wendigo howls!
Zack Mild:;OH GOD ITS HORRIBLE
Lilian Reade: OH GOD I CAN HEAR ZACK SCREAMING
Unknown laughs.
Unknown giggles.
Zack Mild:;OH GOD
The wendigo laughs!
Lilian Reade: OH GOD.
Zack Mild screams!
Zack Mild seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
Unknown laughs.

Rafael Cox: This is what we face for our sins.
Lilian Reade: WAS THAT A GUN I HEARD?!
Rafael Cox: I got shot by something!
Lilian Reade: oh god
Lilian Reade: OH GOD NO
Unknown laughs.
Rafael Cox: WHAT.
Rafael Cox: No!
Rafael Cox: What are you DOING?
Unknown smiles.

Lilian Reade cries.
Lilian Reade: This is the final log of electrician Lilian Reade as acting captain aboard... wherever this is.
Lilian Reade: There are things inside with us. I don't know what they are, besides the wendigos. I'm the only one left.
Lilian Reade: It's in here with me, on the other side of that door. Maybe it's in here.
The wendigo howls!
Lilian Reade: Oh god.
Lilian Reade: There are wendigos everywhere.
Unknown smiles.
Bob Loblaw as Unknown: Any... last words?
Lilian Reade: I'm in a bad way, got to make it to medb OH GOD BOB NO

Lilian Reade seizes up and falls limp, her eyes dead and lifeless...
Unknown smiles.
Bob Loblaw as Unknown: I killed the captain and the away team before us
Bob Loblaw as Unknown: I will feast on your brains

Bob Loblaw: ;Bad news, station. The away team... all dead
Bob Loblaw: ;Send... help!

-- RECORDING ENDS --

[Klayboxx]

Those last two lines spooked me to death

[bladex454]

So permission to circulate this story around the internet?
If this story is heard outside of the forums I think SS13's popularity will rise.

[Niars]

Actually sorely tempted to turn into a short story.

I really need to get into this exploration business. I've always enjoyed telescience, even wrote a little .exe that does the coordinate calculations, but rarely end up in the role

[Dachshundofdoom]

Goddamn awesome story, this has to get put in the Fun section of the wiki with Maintenance Doggs.

[FrontlineAcrobat4]

This reminds me of when Herb was a Changeling, suffice to say this almost exactly ocurred.

[Xenonia]

However, Herb had the added benefit of a BEE following him around. Also he literally fed the captain to wendigos.

[Klayboxx]

Are wendigos just regular mobs or are admins having FUN

[Readster]

Are wendigos just regular mobs or are admins having FUN

They are an actual monster that you have to fight on the Ice Moon, but they are also used in admin fun a lot when you explore the moon.

[Klayboxx]

Are wendigos just regular mobs or are admins having FUN

They are an actual monster that you have to fight on the Ice Moon, but they are also used in admin fun a lot when you explore the moon.

Oh ok, so theyre a plain mob but admins do FUN things with them. Some of the stuff people describe seems way to complex for byond mob code

[Xenonia]

They actually can sense light and turn invisible though
That's true

[Cogwerks]

So permission to circulate this story around the internet?
If this story is heard outside of the forums I think SS13's popularity will rise.

Sure, go ahead. I'd like to see what other places say about it

[Cogwerks]

Oh ok, so theyre a plain mob but admins do FUN things with them. Some of the stuff people describe seems way to complex for byond mob code

I coded the wendigos and their code section is about five times longer than most critters, they are fairly complex beasts. Unless they are talking, they're probably acting on their own.

[Xenonia]

Wait... What DID happen to Herb?

[bladex454]

Can't wait for my turn to fight them on the Ice Moon, Alone in the Dark style.