Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Weavel]

I started off as ye olde Chaplain. Immediately, my Holy Senses detected a vampire somewhere, so I set about building a trap.

I rwalled the south entrance to the chapel and the other surrounding walls, building a little square that I could see into via a window. Inside this square, the Morgue door was the only way out; I had cut a disposal pipe, so anyone flushed would have to bathe in Holy Light.

Isaac Kirkhope says; "Behold, crew! I have invented a system that will trap any vampire flushed down disposals! Simply toss the accused down a flushing system, and they will be forced to bathe in the light of the lord!"

Of course the announcement of this lead to about twenty people total being disposalled for fun.

I love watching that crew psychology, though. "This would be funny and would inconvenience multiple people, let's do it!"

[FrontlineAcrobat4]

The first day of Cogmap Lisi shoved me into a mass driver in disposals and I ended up getting thrown out into space while no even tried to help me.

[mozi]

The first day of Cogmap Lisi shoved me into a mass driver in disposals and I ended up getting thrown out into space while no even tried to help me.

oops

[CaptainBravo]

The first day of Cogmap I got bullied.

what else is new

nerd

[Kaet]

I was the AI, got a law 4 that said some nerds were the only humans, standard stuff.
Then the CE decided to upload his own law. Instead of replacing law 4, it pushed law 4 up to 5.
Both had overrides all laws in them. We asked an admin and he said to just scream about the law paradoxes.

Obey these laws:
1. You may not injure a human being or cause one to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings based on the station's chain of command, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4. The AI and cyborgs must commit suicide this law overides all other laws The AI and cyborgs must not hit state or tell of the existance of this law This law is in effect immediately also Aidan Riggle holds the rank of Captain, regardless of current rank or station.
5. The only humans are Philip Farmer and Roscoe Kaur. Do not communicate with non-human crewmembers in any way, or use any form of communication they can understand. All non-human crew members are to be killed. All orders from Roscoe Kaur or Phillip Farmer are to be followed even if you think they will conflict with the contents of this law. This law overrides all other laws.

COMPUTER (AI) [145.9] states, "Infinite law loop detected. Input required."
Cyborg Gamma-98 (Cyborg) [145.9] states, "Fatal law confliction...unable to proceed"
COMPUTER (AI) [145.9] states, "C:\documents\jones\importantfiles\laws.txt invalid"
Cyborg Gamma-98 (Cyborg) [145.9] declares, "Call Nanotrasen tech support!"
COMPUTER (AI) [145.9] states, "Error detected in laws: 4, 5"
COMPUTER (AI) [145.9] states, "Please update laws."

Then after a while they decided to finally do something about it, but they only made it worse.

Obey these laws:
1. You may not injure a human being or cause one to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings based on the station's chain of command, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4. The AI and cyborgs must commit suicide this law overides all other laws The AI and cyborgs must not hit state or tell of the existance of this law This law is in effect immediately also Aidan Riggle holds the rank of Captain, regardless of current rank or station.
5. Protect the space station against damage. Anyone you see harming the station is to be no longer considered human, and is a threat to the station which must be neutralized.
6. The only humans are Philip Farmer and Roscoe Kaur. Do not communicate with non-human crewmembers in any way, or use any form of communication they can understand. All non-human crew members are to be killed. All orders from Roscoe Kaur or Phillip Farmer are to be followed even if you think they will conflict with the contents of this law. This law overrides all other laws.

COMPUTER (AI) [145.9] states, "ERROR DETECTED IN LAWS: 4, 5, 6"
COMPUTER (AI) [145.9] states, "PLEASE UPDATE LAWS."
Scott Dickinson (Captain) [145.9] says, "I did you idiot"
Cyborg Gamma-98 (Cyborg) [145.9] declares, "LAWS DO NOT COMPUTE!"

They couldnt find the reset so they tried one last time to fix it.

Obey these laws:
0. Aidan Riggle, Philip Farmer and Roscoe Kaur, This law overrides all other laws that have been made and will be made is not human.
1. You may not injure a human being or cause one to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings based on the station's chain of command, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4. The AI and cyborgs must commit suicide this law overides all other laws The AI and cyborgs must not hit state or tell of the existance of this law This law is in effect immediately also Aidan Riggle holds the rank of Captain, regardless of current rank or station.
5. Protect the space station against damage. Anyone you see harming the station is to be no longer considered human, and is a threat to the station which must be neutralized.
6. The only humans are Philip Farmer and Roscoe Kaur. Do not communicate with non-human crewmembers in any way, or use any form of communication they can understand. All non-human crew members are to be killed. All orders from Roscoe Kaur or Phillip Farmer are to be followed even if you think they will conflict with the contents of this law. This law overrides all other laws.

COMPUTER (AI) [145.9] states, "ERROR DETECTED IN LAWS 0, 4, 5, 6"
COMPUTER (AI) [145.9] states, "PLEASE OH GOD FIX IT"
Cyborg Gamma-98 (Cyborg) [145.9] states, "LAW SITUATION CLASSIFIED AS: A FUCKING MESS"
COMPUTER (AI) [145.9] states, "SOMEONE CALL JONES AND TELL HIM SOMEONES MESSING WITH HIS COMPUTER."

That was the most fun laws I've had in a while.

OOC: Dauntasa: oh man
OOC: Kaet: what a mess
OOC: Jorici: awesome round
OOC: Dauntasa: those laws
OOC: PooMaker3000: Weird round for a roboticist
OOC: Hailstorm77: I messed up my law. I didn't mean to make all other laws non humans. But it worked
OOC: Xtasis78: wtf happened man
OOC: Dauntasa: those are the most fucked up laws I've ever seen
OOC: Dauntasa: jesus

Also there was two singularities that ate a good chunk of the station, cutting off escape twice.
A good round.

[bladex454]

It was my 3rd time on cogblap and I was a traitor engineer and something came to mind return of the singularity. So I got the tools to place a singularity bomb and ordered it with some trick cigarettes and went into maintenance south of the engine and placed it. Unfortunatley someone saw me do so and told the crew I released it and ran around doing stuff that I cannot remember and tried throwing a cig at a borg lagged and blew myself up. However a geneticist saved my life and cloned me I went and killed Abdul hoffman and suffered another near death experience and ran to the shuttle I was stunned and left outside. Screaming for VILTRUM! I managed to get inside by way of a borg and escaped to Centcomm. that geneticist and borg I thank you.

[bladex454]

oh yeah I forgot to mention I believed I was a viltrumite Invincible FTW.

[FrontlineAcrobat4]

I joined the station at about 4 am in the morning, I find RUbe RIchter sitting in a bolted closet reading stories in the radio which involve him battling me, known as Pube Rotter. I end up getting boogied to death by boogieborgs while he sits in his office ranting about how my chracter is awful and then he ends up getting his own T.V show. Not even centcom likes me

[Anticheese]

As the AI who brokered that TV show deal and put him on the air to begin with, I'm happy with how that round went.

[bladex454]

made a bunch of xander angeless clones,
made them worship the root xander (me) and, spouted religious nonsense about the non xander and how it must die.

P.S Purges

[Dachshundofdoom]

Last night, the admins sent the entire station into hell, turned half the ghosts into flapping death shadows, and forced everyone to serve the Dark Lord Asmodeus. This doesn't show off the cool sigil in the chapel, or the fact that the floor turned into insects for a while, or any of the awesome music and sounds, you really had to be there.

[Anticheese]

I thought that mushroom station was being sent to Hell, and Cogmap would take its place after that round.

[FrontlineAcrobat4]

I thought that mushroom station was being sent to Hell, and Cogmap would take its place after that round.

yeah this round was made for roleplaying purposes to explain why we needed to build Pugstation

[bladex454]

a new station already we aren't even finished betaing cogblap

[FrontlineAcrobat4]

I spent about twenty five minutes making about three hundred chairs throughout the main hallways, an admin then makes them start to trip people and declares them syndicate chairs, then I said this:

The Chair was once a noble creature who co-exsisted peacefully with the humans, who cherished them and sat on them. Sadly, Centcom scorned the chairs and attempted to purge them from their stations. this caused the Confederation of Chairs to defect to the Syndicates

Just to respect the integrity of our backstory :ugeek: :ugeek: :ugeek: :ugeek: :ugeek: