Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Carlarc]

>8

8<

You could make a book with these!

[Vitatroll]

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One gold bar worth of bees~
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[Vitatroll]

iamdumb

Wrong thread.

[BaneOfGiygas]

I dunno, that's still a pretty great moment.

[Winklabom]

I spawned as the Research Director and then I was turned into Constable Wendigo! I immediately started investigating crime and went around the station for a good 20 minutes before coming back to my office.

That's when I see Heisenbee and he responds with this:


Heisenbee stares at Constable Wendigo for a moment, then bumbles happily!



This made me so happy! It recognized me!

[Vitatroll]

So I put together an autoloafer. I like loafing. It's a sickness. Anyways, that's the boring part. After a while of letting it go I decide to eject the loafcloud. I do the usual screaming, "Stand back!" I say, as people start dashing in to witness the spectacle. This isn't an extreme loafing, I'm not expecting much, so I don't even bother cutting off the control unit running the thing. What do I do? I press the button.

Then it hits me. The strangelet does, anyways. Yep. 1/100, I get a strangelet. An ER too. The autoloaf must have been pretty well timed, I think as I'm gasping for air, lamenting my stupidity for not setting up strangelet countermeasures. Luckily most strangelets fly out to space, I thought, and yes -- it did. It safely ejected itself; crisis averted. No worries, right? Well, except for the OTHER strangelet that decided today was the day I and others were to be reminded of the dangers of the loaf.

Then, of course, this lone strangelet loafs proceeds to wreck the station. The cold of space left many potential heroes to die in the shadow of the loaf until finally the detective, Jake Steel, manage to capture the monstrosity! Yes! The damage was done, but the worst was over. Jake Steel was a hero, and all was well -- until he slipped. RIP, dear hero. The loaf is a cruel thing; one can not contain it for long. I watched and wept as the station was continually ravaged by my shortsightedness, waiting for a hero to save the station from this dire menace! And huzzah! One arrived! As the loaf was working it's way to destroy telsci, evil vs evil, the hero dashed in and grabbed the loaf, breaking the chain of destruction laid upon the station! So who was this hero? A staff assistant? No. A clown? Nope! Behold the most epic visage of our hero!



Twas Albert, the Science Monkey!



And so the disaster ended. The monkey saved the lives of the living, and soothed my own damned soul. He held on to the Great Loaf until the shuttle was called, for as long as he could -- but all good things must come to an end.



Good night sweet prince Albert; your efforts were not in vain. People actually made it aboard the shuttle and escaped with the changeling who undoubtedly appreciated the loafcloud. At least until it got it's arms knocked off by men and women armed with quark loaf.

The moral of this story? Loaf responsibly. Anyone can create loaf; but it takes true care to raise them properly so that they one day go on to not destroy the Universe.

[A4Brogan]

Okay, So this was a short round, but HOLY SHIT THE ROBUSTNESS IS ENOUGH TO MAKE A CLOWN TURN INTO A WENDIGO.

So, Round starts, and I do a relatively new gimmick for me; I start a clown-run trading post called "The Fart Hut", as Farty the Clown. The HoS comes, sees I am offering my own stuff, and knicks a whole bunch of stuff for me to stock. Including the Detective's Revolver.

So everything is going slow, so I start listing off the merchandise. In comes the detective, mad as hell, demanding where his revolver was. I ignore him, as the captain was buying my candy corn. So he pulls out a riot launcher and lands a direct hit with a smoke grenade.

So here's Farty, in the midst of a smoke cloud, honking and trying to do business as smoke burns his throat and eyes. After visibility is restored, I realized that I had a chunk of metal that wasn't supposed to be there. Trusting the captain to the shop (He's the top dog of the station, who wouldn't?), I go to medbay. As soon as I get to the door, a person off-screen waves at me. Before I can type "Good to see you too Doctor!" An RPG speeds to the door to greet me with a big old explodey hug!

After a rather messy result of sucking face with a flying explosive, the assailant declares my death over the radio. Wails of loss rack the station and overload the EQ levels of the radio speakers. Then came a sound. A quiet, rapid sound; The HoS, Clark Clarkson, had a wrath instilled within him. A rage so powerful it would make Khorne beam with pride.

Clark Clarkson charges the RPG-wielding Commie, opening up can of ass-flattening taser blast. Before the syndie falls, he foolishly activated his Cyalume Saber, and dropped it when the stun bolt hit him. The enraged HoS sees this, and tears into the bastard with it. The Syndicate Leader, Hearing the noise, comes running to his ally's aid, only to eat a laser burst. He too is carved like a Black Forest Ham on thanksgiving, ending the Syndicate Rampage before it even took a single (important) crewmember.

[Silvercloud29]

Loaf Story

Damn. I made strangeloaves for traitor rounds before and I never got mine to do nearly as much damage as that one. Must of been one lucky RNG. The ones I shot down the main hall before just end up breaking a wall into space like ASAP.

[Carlarc]

Got wizard, stuff happened, blinked in disposals straight to the crusher.

[VictorMAngoStein]

Challenged another assistant to a boxing match, won 3 times in a row, he suckerpunched me while I was bragging over the radio and we ended up killing eachother.

[Houka]

Admin spawned in skeleton-spawning eggs complete with produce satchel to store them. I use a belt to flip over the counter, steal all of the eggs, and then fill the station with angry skeletons using mail chutes.

He stole the last handful before I could finish doing this.

[Mageziya]

I was going to best this in the "Overheard on the Station" thread, but I decided that this was more of an all encompassing event.

So I made a lot of Omega Weed after finding an artifact beaker. I brought it to escape.

I it was intercepted by a rainbow blob, which proceeded to use slime launchers to make everyone krunk and die.

OOC: Daeren: THE BLOB COMMANDS YOU TO GET CRUNK
DEAD: Ghost (Rafael Cox) wails, "There's making omega weed, and there's making omega weed that gets eaten by a blob and fired at people."
OOC: Daeren: THE DANKEST BLOB

DEAD: ADMIN(SL) says, "so as a result of vigorous testing, I've learned that ALL of the Omega Weed chems can occupy a single slime bullet."
DEAD: ADMIN(SL) says, "and put them all in your bloodstream."
DEAD: Ghost (Arme F. McGee) wails, "Jesus christ what have I done"
DEAD: Ghost (Daniel Hunter) laments, "You made a weed rainblob."
DEAD: Ghost (Rafael Cox) laments, "A very good thing. A service to us all."

DEAD: Ghost (Mr. White) wails, "man I took down 2 traitors and a rogue ai only to die to a fucking disco slime"

OOC: SL: disco blob wins
OOC: Daeren: WEED BLOB HAS TRANSCENDED TO A NEW PLANE OF DANK

Spoiler!

The insane amount of ectoplasm is from how, when a reagent deposit is killed, it lets off smoke. Basically, deadly weed smoke, which also had ectoplasm in it.

OOC: SL: and it got its hands on omega weed for THE DANKEST SLIME BULLETS
OOC: SL: that blob was on the best acid trip

[Buzzbomb]

So as I'm setting up the engine one shift I see my fellow engineer hastily scoop up some timers and transfer valves then proceed to quickly follow me into the burn chamber...

Daniel Jenkins asks, "does mixing the gases make it burn better?"
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "I know what youa re thinking"
Daniel Jenkins asks, "hm?"
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "How can I make bombs with this guy here..."
Daniel Jenkins nods.
Lefty McShimmyshanks does a flip!
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "I was thinking the same sir"
Lefty McShimmyshanks asks, "You a traitor do dude?"
Daniel Jenkins says, "I'd imagine you saw what I was doing back in the storage"
Lefty McShimmyshanks asks, "you a traitor to?"

...gotta make this convincing or I'm toast...

Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "I'm going for a hellburn for those gloves"
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "wait"
Lefty McShimmyshanks asks, "are those only for the Head of Engining?"
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "oh shit one sec"
Daniel Jenkins asks, "the electric gloves?"
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "yeah"
Daniel Jenkins says, "No"
Daniel Jenkins says, "Dont think so"

...okay he is buying this, let's continue setting up the engine while plotting the station's downfall with my new friend...

Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "use your PDA on these cans here"
Daniel Jenkins has scanned Canister: [O2]!
Lefty McShimmyshanks asks, "see that mix?"
Daniel Jenkins says, "yes"
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "that is hellburn mix"
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "this should be a good burn"
Daniel Jenkins says, "heh"
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "Be right back"
Daniel Jenkins says, "okay"

...quick trip to the chapel and back...

Lefty McShimmyshanks asks, "is it heating up?"
Daniel Jenkins says, "yep"
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "wanna know a trick"
Daniel Jenkins says, "sure"
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "this is an odd glitch but..."
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "fart on me near the window here"
You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
Daniel Jenkins farts on the bible.
A mysterious force smites Daniel Jenkins!
plasma glass window was hit by Daniel Jenkins's left arm.
plasma glass window was hit by Daniel Jenkins's left leg.
plasma glass window was hit by Daniel Jenkins's ID Card (Engineer).
Lefty McShimmyshanks says, "See it's magic"

...I'm so sorry Daniel, but I had to see if it would work.

[specteratomis]

although it happened when less than a year after cogmap was used, i still remember this mostly vividly to this day.

i was playing as a cyborg this round, with my usual construction module before construction became a dedicated gamemode, when someone said over chat that he was setting up a tele-science expedition to the ice moon, so i decided i would join to help build a base on the moon. around the time i got there, some chemist was going around pouring piles of gunpowder and lighting it before running away, and making a mess of the station. among those brave few who were ready to go on an adventure we me, a medical cyborg, the scientist, and Santa Clause.

when we first entered the permaportal, the portal actually led to the place the detective goes to whenever he uses his VR goggles; the portal was stuck in the invisible wall of the area, so an admin kindly spawned one in the water instead, which led to the lava-moon. it was here that we navigated our way over catwalks, through abandoned buildings, and to a diving board that you had to use to get to the next portal. it was during this time that the scientist had fallen off the rock edge we were on, burning alive in an instant, while Santa, he med-borg, and eventually me, went through the portal to a giant space-bee hive.

It was due to my lack of trust of the diving board that i arrived at the hive 3 minutes after Santa and the cyborg, who were on there way through. i proceeded to make half-decent progress, mostly slowed by how similar walls and the ceiling looked, before i eventually reached the portal, which Santa and the cyborg had long-since gone through. once through, i was met with the destroyed remains of the cyborg, an injured Santa, and the sight of him beating a martian to death; we were on the martian ship.

on the ship, me and Santa fought our way to the next portal, him using something i cant remember, and me using my built-in crowbar. We eventually reached the portal, where a martian appeared right next to Santa and zapped him down, though the martian was quickly dispatched via a kind crowbaring to the face. I threw Santa through the portal before going through myself, and we had appeared in the observatory! After Santa fixed himself up, the shuttle had been called earlier and arrived around when we did, so we got to the shuttle, strapped in, and escaped alive, though the med-borg and the scientist didn't make it.

and that was how i went on a inter-planetary adventure with a scientist, robot, and Santa Clause, and lived to tell the tale.

[Grayshift]

This is a loaf of hongold bar.
Someone taped together a loaf of honey-wheat bread and a good gold bar. Great.

This is a switookie.
Someone taped together a switchblade and a spookie. Great.

This is an evidenge gun.
Someone taped together an evidence box and a syringe gun. Great.

This is 12ga ruffles.
Someone taped together 12ga rubber slugs and a waffles. Great.

This is Riot clown mask.
Someone taped together Riot Shotgun and a cursed clown mask. Great.

This is a macrobomcockatiel.
Someone taped together a macrobomb implanter and a space cockatiel. Great.

This is a dreadful ÏbçÇ~¥D??õ®׳?£-4.
Someone taped together a dreadful wendigo king and Battledronì4?½&?aÄ ÏbçÇ~¥D??õ®׳?£-4. Great.

This is a weeedloader.
Someone taped together a wendigo and .357 speedloader. Great.