Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Huff H Law]

Geoff Goldman managed to create a devious trap using mechanic components. Somehow an abomination ended up in there and got gibbed. And also the detective, Dan Dingo, sacrificed himself in a pipebomb explosion to little effect.

Spigot managed to save us with a hand tele, sadly though:
DEAD: Ghost (Spigot The Bear) moans, "I brought them a portal gun and told them it was in my pockets"
DEAD: Ghost (Spigot The Bear) wails, "they used it and left me to die"
DEAD: Ghost (Spigot The Bear) moans, "nerrrrds"

[Sex_Robot]

You missed the best part. That little device to the left was a signal jammer so we couldn't warn people on coms which was particularly devious.

Spigot the Judge got warped there but he for some reason had the hand tele in his possesion. He had 02 deprevation and collapsed dropping the tele upon which someone else opened a portal and got everyone else back to the ship leaving spigot to die alone on the derelict ship.

RIP spigot, hero of the shift.

[Mofleaker]

Trying to coordinate an escape from this trap was like playing some horribly twisted version of Rush Hour.

[pizzatiger]

This is an rather old story, but i feel it still deserves to be told =


I was on the Soviet ship messing around with the chemi-compiler (when it first came out) when some dude came in,He saw me and killed me because LOLZ i must be a syndicate because i was on a russian ship! I adminhelp and respawned and the guy apologized to the admins.


I went back to working on the Chemi-compiler when he starts pestering me about top secret recipes, Especially fermid which at the time was being abused to spawn hordes of nearly un-killable Fermids. After a while i got sick of listening to him whine and beg for recipes and decided to tell him how to make Fermids the top secret way!


I told him the only way to make fermid is Inject radium(or was it unstable mutagen, i'm not sure) and ants into your body and start dancing which would combine the ants and the (insert radioactive substence here) causing them to mutate into the hordes of fermids he was used to while posing no threat to him because the ants would take up all the radation and would NEVER harm the creature that birthed them.


He of course believed me and followed my steps to the T, Now it seems i attracted a horde of admins (and ghosts who happened to hear my lie) who were listening to make sure the dude didn't do any more shit. They in-turn decided to play along and spawn 2 fermids which proceeded to kill both me and the dude. They then procceded to yell at me for telling the secret recipe for fermid on the fourms and procceded to ban me (change my name to the old name i used before, tim kellog). The said player THEN procceded to run around spreading my lie to diffrent people and getting them to beileve it before getting banned for being shit


Why does this deserve to be put in the best moments ever thread you might ask?! Well if you look on the chemistry wiki you will find a recipe know as the spider which has two recipes and one of them is the following- Ingest ants + unstable mutagen and use the *dance emote I started a shitty ingame joke recipe, Wooh!

[Weavel]

Steve Stevenson attacks Chance Stahl in the head with Chance Stahl's head!
... and lands a devastating hit!
Chance Stahl farts on the bible.
A mysterious force smites Chance Stahl!
Unknown has been hit by Chance Stahl's left arm.
Tourmaline has been hit by Chance Stahl's left leg.
Tourmaline has been hit by Chance Stahl's right leg.
Ming The Merciless has been hit by Chance Stahl's skull.
Steve Stevenson has been hit by Chance Stahl's brain.
Ming The Merciless has been hit by Chance Stahl's hair.

have you ever been hit in the head with your own head and exploded

[A4Brogan]

We just had a round where Centcomm got cargo orders confused with another stations, and asked the whole staff what we ordered.

We wound up with:
[*]A Bulk Order of Buttbots
[*]A load of Laser Rifles
[*]A DOZEN NUKES

Oddly, we did not blow ourselves up with the nukes (Chemtator did that nicely though, with a chemicompiler mix from hell!) No, we launched one out the mass driver, and it landed AT CENTCOMM.

Just to make this perfectly clear:



WE NUKED THE FUCK OUT OF CENTCOMM

[Xeram]

snip

Also during this round I was given a law to assign a new captain every 10 minutes, cue the HoP appointed captain giving everyone I appointed new ID cards. Then an Ion storm overrid my first law. I began by appointing myself captain after sabotaging the power of several areas and venting the station, luring Sundance in to give me my ID before lasering him, procceding to slowly attract a stream of would be captains to my core to be shot to death.

Then another Ion storm hit me at the end.

By the end of the game, I had 5 laws and the only origninal one remaining was law 3.

[Remmon]

Just had a round where I ran the engine to its limits. We ended up with dozens of billions in the station budget and at around 40 minutes, I started complaining that the power transfer laser couldn't keep up with the engine.

We all left filthy rich, escape was spontaneously bursting into flames and the engine hit 700 PetaWatts by the end. The Power Transfer Laser's tiny 10TW limit pales in comparison.

[Mageziya]

... the engine hit 700 PetaWatts by the end.

You wouldn't mind sharing the engine set-up that creates that unholy amount of power, would you?

Or are super engines held under the same domain as secrets?

[Nurdock]

... the engine hit 700 PetaWatts by the end.

You wouldn't mind sharing the engine set-up that creates that unholy amount of power, would you?

Or are super engines held under the same domain as secrets?

Probably a standard hellburn setup, just takes a while to reach power levels like that.

[Sundance]

I decided to put a recorder in my pocket and just monologue as a detective about what was going on, made for some good detective work and looking back made for a great story. This is everything from it, spanning two tapes. It was a wraith round.

Sundance Feely [Log] "test"
Sundance Feely [Log] "this is the detective speaking. I am using this robust device to record my voice at all times. It is in your interest to listen if I am somehow dead"

Sundance Feely [Log] "osku bacon, gibs outside security"
Sundance Feely [Log] "grizzly way to go."

Sundance Feely [Log] "mark fitzgerald, corpse drained in space"
Sundance Feely [Log] "outside airbridge"
Sundance Feely [Log] "we have a demonic being it seems"

Sundance Feely [Log] "discount dan is added to the list of the wraiths victims"

Sundance Feely [Log] "how did you die chatzkel?"
Sundance Feely [Log] "no talk from citzel. Probably died from his own stupidity"

Sundance Feely [Log] "explosive tomatoes, grace schiff. Another oddity"

Sundance Feely [Log] "some sort of weird hair"
Sundance Feely [Log] "tried it on. Made me itch and cry. Something wrong with me"

Sundance Feely [Log] "dried blood. no trace. Monkeys."

Sundance Feely [Log] "a dumb dildo nods at me" (aside someone was labelled as a dumb dildo)
Sundance Feely [Log] "what is this life"
Sundance Feely [Log] "and how did i get here"

Sundance Feely [Log] "you fancied this place up nicely ted." (aside, janitor done up his room adjacent to his)
Sundance Feely [Log] "its actually quite respectable."

Sundance Feely [Log] "janitor refurbishes a room. A trick? Most likely."

Sundance Feely [Log] "geoff are you still alive?"
Sundance Feely [Log] "the sec hq has been infested with bees. The one person i trust is not responding. What a shit sandwich"
Sundance Feely [Log] "the hos has been replaced with a vuvuzela wielding maniac of a captain. I'd drink, but I need my voice."

Sundance Feely [Log] "blurt blandcaster is naked and staring into space. He succumbed to madness, just like all these other assholes in this shit tincan"

Sundance Feely [Log] "robert sexigton a fellow officer, getting beaten to near death from a revived corpse. Managed to take it down, but not before injuring myself."

Sundance Feely [Log] "bob dolf picks a fight with a bee. Does not end well"

Sundance Feely [Log] "fellow robotic enforcer beepsky seems to be acting odd. Ted Crilly is poisoned in disposals asking for help. Responding"

Sundance Feely [Log] "a firelock"
Sundance Feely [Log] "prevents me for accessing ted. Bad"
Sundance Feely [Log] "should brought a crowbar"

Sundance Feely [Log] "Don't get here on time. It's a mess."
Sundance Feely [Log] "blood everywhere"
Sundance Feely [Log] "found him."
Sundance Feely [Log] "dead."
Sundance Feely [Log] "Tox reports says there's THC and booze in him. Capasaicin, but nothing else. Died of suffocation"
Sundance Feely [Log] "do something only a good man would do. Clone the poor bastard"


Sundance Feely [Log] "medbays a nuthouse. Blood and ghostly actions everywhere. Not a place for a detective"
Sundance Feely [Log] "another corpse. Totus Ubertas"
Sundance Feely [Log] "died of severe suffocation. Appears to be suicide. Don't blame him"

Sundance Feely [Log] "roy brindles skull. Not good."

Sundance Feely [Log] "found the cause of the ominous droning. It's an artifact. would fit in nicely with medbay"


Sundance Feely [Log] "Ted the janitor got cloned, but the grim reaper was not done with him. Gasped my name with his last dying breath before the wraith sucked it out of him."
Sundance Feely [Log] "he is now a husk of his former self."

Sundance Feely [Log] "i manage to get the shuttle called. Maybe i'll get out of this lovecraftian nightmare"

Sundance Feely [Log] "The shuttle arrives in 3 minutes. But so is asteroids from the west. Or is it east? Death from above or from below?"

Sundance Feely [Log] "I dodge an asteroid and make it on the shuttle. There are several defunct securitrons from centcom that managed to make it aboard the shuttle. Everyone is naked. I'm ready to go home" (Aside: People were naked due to this weird bug of cloning)
Sundance Feely [Log] "The Wraith is ever present. It reveals itself only to be punched in the face. Deserving for what it did to ted"
Sundance Feely [Log] "The shuttle is now in warpdrive. Clown nearly teeters out the airlock. Nearly.
Sundance Feely [Log] "I let a naked handcuffed man who begged to be let into the security section of the ship. There's room, and I cant have another death on my hands today
Sundance Feely [Log] "The shuttle arrives. Am I safe? Is this centcom? The only thing that is certain is the booze in my bagpack.

--END LOG

[Remmon]

... the engine hit 700 PetaWatts by the end.

You wouldn't mind sharing the engine set-up that creates that unholy amount of power, would you?

Or are super engines held under the same domain as secrets?

I guard the secrets of my 66/33 oxygen/plasma hell burn closely. Nah. It just seems that people are really bad at it somehow. So here's how you do it.

You start by hooking up 2 cans of plasma to the cold loop. Open the valves to let gas into the cold loop so it can start cooling down. If your plasma's not cold enough before you start the combustion chamber the cold loop will burst too soon and your engine will not work as well as it should.

You then grab a can of plasma and drag it over to the hot loop. Stick it on the mixing port together with the empty can that starts in engineering. Get yourself a can of oxygen and swap the oxygen can and the (no longer) empty can.

Set all the pumps on the hot loop side to 1. Turn 1 of the combustion chamber pumps off so that in ~40 minutes, you can swap cans by turning one pump on and the other off instead of having to run into the hot loop room. If you're feeling brave you can leave both pumps on and switch via the valve later instead.

Hook up the 'empty' can with plasma onto the hot loop. Attach a second can at some point later so you can keep the flow going. Connect your 2 cans of 66/33 mix to the combustion chamber and start pumping in the fuel through 1 of them. Pumping in fuel from both cans at the same time will not result in a satisfactory hellburn. Light the combustion chamber and go open the valves to let gas into the hot loop.

DO NOT LET GAS INTO THE HOT LOOP BEFORE THE COMBUSTION CHAMBER IS LIT. Your hot loop pipes will burst early if you do and you will have a bad.

As a final step, at the very minimum you need to RCD the floor out from underneath your fuel cans. A few extra holes located strategically can help keep the place survivable, experiment with this.

[FishDance]

It was difficult to get an exact reading of what the engine was at, because a the power it was operating at the engine spent most of it's time displaying as "0 W" but then flickered on for a few cycles every couple of minutes, after this reading gas kept going in and getting hotter and stuff but the engine stayed at 0 W. My guess is that it would have been around 250 EW by the time it ran out of gas, (I did the math on it). I wonder if the number was just too big for the variable in the code to handle, if not, could a coder tell me why this happens the way it does?

[Sex_Robot]

... the engine hit 700 PetaWatts by the end.

You wouldn't mind sharing the engine set-up that creates that unholy amount of power, would you?

Or are super engines held under the same domain as secrets?

I guard the secrets of my 66/33 oxygen/plasma hell burn closely. Nah. It just seems that people are really bad at it somehow. So here's how you do it.

You start by hooking up 2 cans of plasma to the cold loop. Open the valves to let gas into the cold loop so it can start cooling down. If your plasma's not cold enough before you start the combustion chamber the cold loop will burst too soon and your engine will not work as well as it should.

You then grab a can of plasma and drag it over to the hot loop. Stick it on the mixing port together with the empty can that starts in engineering. Get yourself a can of oxygen and swap the oxygen can and the (no longer) empty can.

Set all the pumps on the hot loop side to 1. Turn 1 of the combustion chamber pumps off so that in ~40 minutes, you can swap cans by turning one pump on and the other off instead of having to run into the hot loop room. If you're feeling brave you can leave both pumps on and switch via the valve later instead.

Hook up the 'empty' can with plasma onto the hot loop. Attach a second can at some point later so you can keep the flow going. Connect your 2 cans of 66/33 mix to the combustion chamber and start pumping in the fuel through 1 of them. Pumping in fuel from both cans at the same time will not result in a satisfactory hellburn. Light the combustion chamber and go open the valves to let gas into the hot loop.

DO NOT LET GAS INTO THE HOT LOOP BEFORE THE COMBUSTION CHAMBER IS LIT. Your hot loop pipes will burst early if you do and you will have a bad.

As a final step, at the very minimum you need to RCD the floor out from underneath your fuel cans. A few extra holes located strategically can help keep the place survivable, experiment with this.

Although cool, hell burns are annoying if you're doing anything other than tending the engine.. I'm the type of engineer that likes putting the ship back together but it's not easy when all the doors to engineering are locked down and the air is molten.

[SL the Pyro]

It was difficult to get an exact reading of what the engine was at, because a the power it was operating at the engine spent most of it's time displaying as "0 W" but then flickered on for a few cycles every couple of minutes, after this reading gas kept going in and getting hotter and stuff but the engine stayed at 0 W. My guess is that it would have been around 250 EW by the time it ran out of gas, (I did the math on it). I wonder if the number was just too big for the variable in the code to handle, if not, could a coder tell me why this happens the way it does?

This is just one of those weird things that tends to happen after a hellburn that's been allowed to run for long enough. The energy output or gas mix methods don't seem to effect it, it just... happens. I'm not sure why.

Although cool, hell burns are annoying if you're doing anything other than tending the engine.. I'm the type of engineer that likes putting the ship back together but it's not easy when all the doors to engineering are locked down and the air is molten.

Disconnect the fire alarms around Engineering and bring a spacesuit, firesuit and internals for yourself. That way you can do whatever, wherever, and can come back to check on the engine as you see fit.