Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Nightgunner5]

cuffed, straightajacketed, muzzled, and blindfolded me

Don't muzzles and blindfolds go on the same spot?

I'd think muzzle would be mask and blindfold would be glasses.

[MEOW POW]

Yeah what Nightgunner said.

[UrsulaMejor]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARD BOILED

SURPRISE!!!!

It's not a true party until someone gets horribly injured

[BillyMays]

the time I made the chapel into a giant owlery by hand

[Furbeh]

There was a recent round where medbay burned down and was literally replaced by a horde of medibots.

[Shoddy]

Me and about 3 other people start playing a game of pseudo D&D, Then: i get a message from the space gods telling me i have absorbed the power of the dark necromancer koeschi ( whom we had just killed in our game, THE MOST POWERFUL OF ALL NECROMANCERS) and must act normal but instill chaos.

Then we came upon a situation where a band of savage cluwnes entered my mind and twisted it to evil, this caused me to act like i had an outburst of insanity, killing all the other players ,cluwning people and becoming a total fucking RPG necro-monster.

Then another round me, the detective and Jenkins commit a dark RPG ritual in the chapel by smashing all the lights coating the place in blood and saying unholy words.
Thus it caused the power to be unleashed and i became a dark necromancer, i was able to command player zombies and had some fun telling them to eat people.

All in all those rounds were very cool.
I enjoyed these rounds.
:ugeek:

[Anger_Scientist]

Harvey Barrelchest and myself teamed up as artifact-research buddies to figure out the bold new world of artifact science.

A radiation storm hits.

We have no maintenance access as scientists, and thus we run into chemistry to hide in the O2 locker. We open it and learn it is occupied by Valterak Somethingorother. By now the radstorm is happening and all three of us are getting filled with radiation, so we dive into the waste bin and send ourselves down disposals.

While we're in there figuring out which mutations we have, Harvey (aka Lainge) realizes that there are now tons of artifacts for us to research. So we go hunting for artifacts.

We find maybe fifteen and line them up outside the artifact lab, then drag them in one-by-one and split up, testing them on the xray machine and electrode thing. Most are neat but impractical and run out of charge quickly after activation.

Harvey is out looking for more when one activates from X-rays. I take it out and touch it and it 'flays me open', goring me for tons of brute and knocking me unconscious.

I think this is already the best artifact ever except that in five seconds I explode and become a cyborg.

After this, Harvey and myself now run around the station with this artifact in tow. People eagerly run up and touch it and are flayed open and robotsploded while their graysuited peers look on in horror and fascination. It becomes a big hit on the escape shuttle.



After this round, I spawn in as a traitor scientist. I go anonymously donate a fogmachine to chemistry and spend the rest on floor closets. There's a lot of talk on the radio about an election between an annoying-sounding artifact named Smooth Artifact and a cyborg called Badger. They are jousting politically for the role of Station President.

I brew some bombs and attach remote signalers to all of them. I put them in floor closets, then when I run out of floor closets, personal lockers. I distribute these around the station.

I hold in my hand the radio signaler which will signal a Doctor Strangelove-style ballistic bisection of the station. I radio and let the crew know that if Smooth Artifact doesn't win the election, heads are gonna roll.

A bevy of rebellious votes for Badger-Borg rolls in over the radio, so I remind the crew of what they have done to themselves and hit the switch.



In the wake of this terrorist act, public fear of the Smooth Artifact party's power grows, and the election is won handedly. However, its roots in fear later betray it as the rebellious Badger-Borg hegemony takes to arms and rigs the next election by force.

[Anger_Scientist]

Also: the bbcode cuts those images off, so you may want to open them in a new tab.

[CaptainBravo]

Avo Cox swings at Professional Nerdpuncher!
Professional Nerdpuncher punches Avo Cox!
Professional Nerdpuncher knocks out Avo Cox!
Arhma Geddan says, "AHAHAHA"
AM [145.9] states, "Please acquire tools at one of the several public tool storage areas."
Unknown (as Avo Cox) says, "IM BEING BULLIES"

uh, no, officer. you don't understand, see. i'm a professional toilet bully. i punch nerds, nerds fall down, you arrest me, nerds swoon, you slip me fifty credits.

[Readster]

I was simply a detective trying to make things right
He was just a HoP trying to save the station
He was just a sec officer trying bring justice and aid to those who need it
He was just a monkey gone vigilante, trying to stop the ne'er-do-wells
He was just a clown
Together, we stopped the ones causing trouble and saved the station.

Let me start at the beginning. I was first suspicious when I walked into my office to find somebody with all access messing with the security records. Due to a fear of compromise I decided to tell the HoS in person, rather than over the sec frequency. I arranged a meeting in his office and spoke with him there. Upon arriving a spurt of chaos errupted. I should take this time to mention sec had been dealing with a clown who had broken into the brig all round. Needless to say our discussion was postponned while we cleared the office out.

At the end of it all, only me, Edison the detective, Zorafm the HoS and Flick the sec officer were left in the office. I told my conserns to him and began fixing the security records as best I could. It was at that time the AI was subverted. The main door out of the office was elecrified, and none of us had gloves. A monkey came in from the bridge, but that door was soon electrified also. That left simply us and the monkey in there.

Out of fear or suspicion, we shocked the monkey against the door and cuffed him. This was due to his attempts to hide from us but, looking back on it, I think he was simply trying to aviod what we ended up doing to him. After searching through his backpack we found many cuffs, a taser, a flash and the port-a-brig remote. After briefly questioning why he might have had them, we shrugged it off and celebrated. The port-a-brig was our ticket to freedom. Zorafm, being the HoS and having the most access, volunteered to step inside. We held our breath as we anticipated our escape.

It didn't work out. A port-a-brig cannot be sent without being locked and there would be nobody in the main sec office to let him out. It was troubling indeed. That's when Zorafm came up with a new idea. He asked me to throw him up onto the table and I complied. Beating on the window furiously, he began to smash his way out. The whole thing was an amazing sight. The monkey, now free from his cuffs, and Zorafm were both bashing on the glass from within the office. Meanwhile the clown was bashing on the glass from the outside of the office. We were all working as a team to escape and save the station!

At that moment, I saw something terrifying. Right as the grille was about to break, from the right I saw two cloakers with thermals and stun batons approaching the clown. Before I could even scream for him to run he was downed and dragged away. The grille broke and Zorafm and the monkey stormed outside after him. I quickly threw Flick up onto the table, being nothing more than an old detective I would be no use out there, but he was ready to fight. He wouldn't have to though. Zorafm and the monkey, an unlikely hero of the round I would like to say, had tased both cloakers, handcuffed them, and thrown them in solitary. They would do no more harm. Flick quickly grabbed some gloves and an Emag off of one of them and opened the door for me.
We had done it. The five of us had successfully escaped from the HoS' office and captured both of the cloakers.
I would like to award the monkey as the standout hero of the round, who was wrongly cuffed by us.
I would like to thank the clown for going against our expectations.
I would like to thank Zorafm for never giving up
And I'd like to thank Flick for getting me out and being more than just an average sec officer.


If only the shuttle hadn't left us behind to be eaten by zombies at the escape arm...

(This was written oddly, I think I might still be in detective mode a bit)

[Winged_Chiller]

Introducing the Grodus Corp Casino Line!

I rolled traitor and decided to have a bit of fun, as you sometimes do. So I proceeded to construct, using the ABC-Us a space casino run by me, the traitor. The casino was constructed and had it's prizes all set up, Rad Poison Crossbows, Chameleon Projectors and several stacks of 1000 space credits. Not to mention the casino grinder for those who don't pay up (Mobster break your legs and I kill people).

So me, Hard Boiled and Philip Farmer spent the rest of a good 40 minutes gambling away our money and our items. Philip eventually ran out of money and took a 2000 credit loan on his life, one game win or lose; live or die. After a few rounds of dice it was evident that he was the loser and as I prepared to put an end to him Hard Boiled offered to pay not only Philip's loan but the 100% interest on it too. In exchange for his generosity Philip was then Hard Boiled's to gamble away as he pleased.

Eventually it got late in the round and we decided to have one final round. We each placed our lives on the line and played several rounds with the D20 die. the intensity was thick throught he air as each time we rolled and lost but eventually Philip Farmer was dubbed the winner. He demanded the Hard Boiled and I fight to the death. So both armed with Rad Poison Crossbows we fought. I shot Hard from the get go and then ran around the slot machines to avoid his shot. Eventually Hard figured he couldn't wait any longer before passing out, turned around and shot Philip Farmer across the counter. Philip had paid his debt.

I threw Hard into the grinder before heading off the call the shuttle. Once I returned Philip lay dead in the corner so I threw him in too before quickly offing myself in a similar manner.



This round was a lot of fun and was definitely worth the effort of making the casino.

[Clarks]

Sir Grodus [145.9] says, "At my casino"
Sir Grodus [145.9] says, "Our prizes include, chameleon projectors, rad poison crossbows and cash"
Sir Grodus [145.9] exclaims, "Come now!"
Philip Farmer [145.9] says, "yeah, where is IT"
Sir Grodus [145.9] says, "Security maint"

Philip Farmer says, "I am here for the cash"
Philip Farmer throws the Tank transfer valve!
Philip Farmer says, "take that in lieu of 1000 credits"
[...]
I'm out of cash.

Sir Grodus says, "Hard, your turn"
Sir Grodus asks, "And what is your prize?"
Hard Boiled whispers, "*** ** I pl***"

Sir Grodus asks, "Dice or coin?"
Hard Boiled says, "A round of coin and dice, please."
Sir Grodus asks, "And your prize?"

Sir Grodus says, "Chameleon, poison bow or cash"
Hard Boiled says, "Hmm. Never used a lizard. I choose that."
Sir Grodus says, "Heads or tails"
Hard Boiled says, "Tails."
Sir Grodus throws the coin.
The coin comes up tails

[...]I am back with more cash.
Philip Farmer says, "I am here for the cash"
[...]I win and lose a ton of money until...
Philip Farmer says, "ah! but I have 1 thousand left"
Philip Farmer says, "1"
Sir Grodus says, "4"
Philip Farmer throws the dice.
The dice shows Four.
Sir Grodus says, "YES"
Philip Farmer says, "I am truly broke"
Sir Grodus says, "LOSER"

[...]And now the good stuff
Hard Boiled asks, "Care to take a loan...?"
Sir Grodus says, "Loans are your legs AKA your life"
Philip Farmer says, "yes"
Philip Farmer says, "definitely"
Sir Grodus says, "You can bet with no money but if you lose"
Philip Farmer says, "how much is it worth"
Sir Grodus says, "Grinder time"
Hard Boiled says, "How much."
Sir Grodus says, "2000 cash"
Philip Farmer says, "I'll take it"
Sir Grodus says, "Okay then"
Philip Farmer says, "both thousands at once"
Philip Farmer says, "number 1"
Sir Grodus says, "4"
Philip Farmer throws the dice.
The dice shows Four.
Philip Farmer says, "ah! I am dead"
Sir Grodus says, "Okay come quietly"

[...]In which my life is ransomed.
Hard Boiled exclaims, "WAIT!"
Sir Grodus asks, "Wait?"
Hard Boiled asks, "How much is his life worth?"
Sir Grodus says, "2000 with intrest of 100%"
Sir Grodus says, "This is a loan shark casino"
Hard Boiled asks, "Kid, you want to live?"
Philip Farmer says, "I want to live"

Sir Grodus says, "Hard Boiled is offering to pay your debt"
Hard Boiled says, "In full."
Philip Farmer says, "a good deed"
Sir Grodus says, "4000 credits"
Hard Boiled says, "One condition, kid..."
Philip Farmer says, "what is it"
Amusing Duck honks, "wacka"
Amusing Duck honks, "wacka"
Amusing Duck honks, "wacka"
Amusing Duck honks, "quacky"
Hard Boiled says, "You play a round of dice for me. The stakes are death."
Philip Farmer says, "yes"
Philip Farmer says, "I will take the chance"

Hard Boiled [145.9] says, "I am now betting the life of my debt slave for the best game of chance at the Casino."
Sir Grodus asks, "Philip is on the line?"
Hard Boiled says, "He is."
Philip Farmer says, "I am"
Sir Grodus says, "2000 credits worth he is"
Hard Boiled says, "Are you ready? I have never lost."
Sir Grodus says, "We play dice"
Sir Grodus says, "Pick your number"
Hard Boiled says, "2."
Sir Grodus says, "4"
Sir Grodus throws the dice.
The dice shows Two.
Sir Grodus frowns.
Philip Farmer exclaims, "ah!"
Sir Grodus says, "RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"
Sir Grodus says, "AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH"

[...]A fight to the death.
Hard Boiled exclaims, "An IDEA!"
Sir Grodus says, "Okay Philip the d20 please"
Sir Grodus says, "Lets do a three way"
Hard Boiled [145.9] asks, "Winner leaves with his life. The loser dies anyway the winner wants. How about that?"
Sir Grodus says, "Yep"
Philip Farmer [145.9] says, "I'm in"
Sir Grodus says, "Choose your numbers"
[...]
Sir Grodus says, "8"
Hard Boiled says, "17."
Philip Farmer says, "mmh... 5"
Sir Grodus throws D20.
D20 shows Five.

Sir Grodus says, "Philip as the winner of our lives and my cache"
Sir Grodus says, "He4 decides how we both die"
Philip Farmer says, "both of you. fight to the death"
Philip Farmer says, "fists only"
Sir Grodus says, "Okay"
Sir Grodus says, "Hold on"
Philip Farmer says, "loser gets thrown into the grinder"
Sir Grodus says, "A rad bow each"
Philip Farmer says, "radbow works too. it's one shot anyway"
Philip Farmer says, "then fists"
Sir Grodus says, "Coutn down"
Philip Farmer says, "3...2..."
Philip Farmer says, "1"

Sir Grodus has grabbed Hard Boiled passively!
Hard Boiled stumbles a little!
Sir Grodus has grabbed Hard Boiled passively!
Sir Grodus throws Hard Boiled.

Hard Boiled got ground. Sir Grodus wins the fight.

[Klayboxx]

why do all of you play in stretch to fit mode? put it in 32x32 and be amazed as the game looks like it should before your very eyes!

[Zorafm]

why do all of you play in stretch to fit mode? put it in 32x32 and be amazed as the game looks like it should before your very eyes!

Yeah, believe it or not, you can robust better on 32x32 aswell.

[CaptainBravo]

i figure out how to attack first in lagfests and then you nerds have to go dropping all this fancy resizing nonsense onto my lap. it's CRIMINAL