Best moments ever thread 2.0

[SL the Pyro]

So the stars aligned today. Or at least the future had a full moon.



I wasn't terribly interested in being a traitor this round, I just wanted to work on artifacts. So I hobbled over to telescience and started warping artifacts in, while a fellow artlab worker by the name of Morgan Hawking (BYOND Key: Stratosphere) worked on what I snagged. Once I was done warping I piled the artifacts into the Artlab and joined him. The first few were nothing special, just some noisemakers that he sold for mad cash and a healer that was dumped into medbay.

...Then we got to the injector artifact.

Now, these things are almost always bad news; even if they happen to come with rare reagents for you to farm, you still have to touch it and make it inject you to get at them. Morgan was very unpleasantly surprised when he got pricked and immediately started screaming involuntarily, and I quickly scanned him to find the culprit - which turned out to be firefighting foam, histamine and, of all the inconceivable things, Imperfect Werewolf Serum. For the uninitiated, the recipe for this insanely obscure and rare reagent was removed due to a leak from a (now banned) player, and is the precursor to the holy grail of Chemistry research. It also does a hundred metric tonnes of TOX damage while it's in you and also decays into histamine, which wasn't helped by the artifact injecting histamine already.

Once I'd managed to pick my jaw up off the floor and stopped screaming that there was free Imperfect Werewolf Serum over the radio, I crammed a Charcoal pill down Morgan's throat and he ran off to the healer artifact, while the injector artifact was dragged off to the bar for some inexplicable reason; despite this, there were little-to-no fatalities from the imperfect serum injector thanks to the Paramedics being on the ball. Now free to carry out my machinations, I underwent the Chermist's tradition of relieving all the vending machines of their Discount Dan's for the ingredients I needed for the true Werewolf Serum. I already knew the recipe for it, but never got to create it for myself due to Imperfect's recipe being removed, and now I had my chance on the perfect day for it. I wasn't about to let it slip by.

...No, really, one of the factors for creating Werewolf Serum is that it needs to be the right day, quite possibly with weeks in between chances. There's a reason why no one who knew it ever made it while the imperfect serum was still createable.

Several injections, blood drawings, Charcoal pills, Discount Dan's filterings and avoiding one really rude laser pod at Chemistry's window later, I'd managed to scrounge up enough Werewolf Serum for a single transformation; as much as I'd have liked to get more for the rest of the crew, the Emergency Shuttle had been called and I simply didn't have the time to get more ingredients, it was now or never. A Boxer had wandered into the room, demanding to bare witness to the ultimate mockery of God and nature as we know it, and I obliged him by consuming the serum. It was a literally painful wait; it turns out that Lycanthropy, the disease that turns you into a Werewolf, has some really mean oxygen deprivation in its early stages. It peters out at Stage 4, and at Stage 5 I begun to lose consciousness and convulse several times - after which I wake up and howl as proudly as an accomplished Scientist-Werewolf can.

...And then the Boxer asked me to eat him because he was apparently already dying. This reminded me that I was, in fact, still a Traitor and was actually allowed to eat him. *CHOMP*

...Well, no, not really, I just bit him once. I wanted to get him to the shuttle and then eat him to scare and baffle the everloving shit out of the crew. But it turned out that someone who threw a (harmless) bowling ball at me really wanted to be my first victim, and things carried on from there. I finished the round with half of the escapees eaten and splattered all over the shuttle while the rest tried and failed to beat me down before time ran out.

I don't even care that I failed my traitor objectives. I won a fucking one-in-a-million chance to obtain and use legitimately-acquired Werewolf Serum as a Traitor, and even got to semi-rampage with it. NO REGRETS.

[Sam Guivene]

So the stars aligned today. Or at least the future had a full moon.



I wasn't terribly interested in being a traitor this round, I just wanted to work on artifacts. So I hobbled over to telescience and started warping artifacts in, while a fellow artlab worker by the name of Morgan Hawking (BYOND Key: Stratosphere) worked on what I snagged. Once I was done warping I piled the artifacts into the Artlab and joined him. The first few were nothing special, just some noisemakers that he sold for mad cash and a healer that was dumped into medbay.

...Then we got to the injector artifact.

Now, these things are almost always bad news; even if they happen to come with rare reagents for you to farm, you still have to touch it and make it inject you to get at them. Morgan was very unpleasantly surprised when he got pricked and immediately started screaming involuntarily, and I quickly scanned him to find the culprit - which turned out to be firefighting foam, histamine and, of all the inconceivable things, Imperfect Werewolf Serum. For the uninitiated, the recipe for this insanely obscure and rare reagent was removed due to a leak from a (now banned) player, and is the precursor to the holy grail of Chemistry research. It also does a hundred metric tonnes of TOX damage while it's in you and also decays into histamine, which wasn't helped by the artifact injecting histamine already.

Once I'd managed to pick my jaw up off the floor and stopped screaming that there was free Imperfect Werewolf Serum over the radio, I crammed a Charcoal pill down Morgan's throat and he ran off to the healer artifact, while the injector artifact was dragged off to the bar for some inexplicable reason; despite this, there were little-to-no fatalities from the imperfect serum injector thanks to the Paramedics being on the ball. Now free to carry out my machinations, I underwent the Chermist's tradition of relieving all the vending machines of their Discount Dan's for the ingredients I needed for the true Werewolf Serum. I already knew the recipe for it, but never got to create it for myself due to Imperfect's recipe being removed, and now I had my chance on the perfect day for it. I wasn't about to let it slip by.

...No, really, one of the factors for creating Werewolf Serum is that it needs to be the right day, quite possibly with weeks in between chances. There's a reason why no one who knew it ever made it while the imperfect serum was still createable.

Several injections, blood drawings, Charcoal pills, Discount Dan's filterings and avoiding one really rude laser pod at Chemistry's window later, I'd managed to scrounge up enough Werewolf Serum for a single transformation; as much as I'd have liked to get more for the rest of the crew, the Emergency Shuttle had been called and I simply didn't have the time to get more ingredients, it was now or never. A Boxer had wandered into the room, demanding to bare witness to the ultimate mockery of God and nature as we know it, and I obliged him by consuming the serum. It was a literally painful wait; it turns out that Lycanthropy, the disease that turns you into a Werewolf, has some really mean oxygen deprivation in its early stages. It peters out at Stage 4, and at Stage 5 I begun to lose consciousness and convulse several times - after which I wake up and howl as proudly as an accomplished Scientist-Werewolf can.

...And then the Boxer asked me to eat him because he was apparently already dying. This reminded me that I was, in fact, still a Traitor and was actually allowed to eat him. *CHOMP*

...Well, no, not really, I just bit him once. I wanted to get him to the shuttle and then eat him to scare and baffle the everloving shit out of the crew. But it turned out that someone who threw a (harmless) bowling ball at me really wanted to be my first victim, and things carried on from there. I finished the round with half of the escapees eaten and splattered all over the shuttle while the rest tried and failed to beat me down before time ran out.

I don't even care that I failed my traitor objectives. I won a fucking one-in-a-million chance to obtain and use legitimately-acquired Werewolf Serum as a Traitor, and even got to semi-rampage with it. NO REGRETS.

Huh, would consuming somebody on the ground transmit it?

[Asmadeus]

THIS is what happend when you eat fucking server, guys.

[Asmadeus]

Sorry, bad link.

[Sam Guivene]

Sorry, bad link.

you can eat the fucking server!?

[DyssalC]

*big ass picture and shit*

Sorry, bad link.

you can eat the fucking server!?

"Something is tasty, but don't let it BREAK on the way down, that would be a DISASTER."

[BaneOfGiygas]

Ah, I thought it was only a rumor! Is the acid actually acid, or is it just retiled space?

[Asmadeus]

It is fucking acid.

[Archenteron]

Someone did it. Someone actually did it. You beautiful bastards. Congratulations.


And it actually did something.

[parf]

a security officer found out i was offering illegal items to the crew at the new chasino and decided to confront me about it
by breaking in and hitting me in the face with a stun baton.
well, amongst the stash i had a pipebomb so of course i decided to blow up the security officer and myself with it
here is the aftermath

[Vunterslaush]

That is one damn cool brain.

[Asmadeus]

It was me, Ric.. Kirex. It would be more funny if it would be Ricky brain. We could make 'Deal with it' from this image.

[nepereta]

So I rigged the postal loop to the loafer and added a pressure sensor flusher near the single door to south east of engineering. I don't know how many loaves got made because I only viewed the brig via security cameras. But I was told post round it was over 20. Hearing the Clonk-CLONK-CLONK made me insanely happy. Went to sleep that night laughing my arse off.

[Derkolm]

Friends, father round. I offer a tale. A tale of an antag MD, a kind HoS, and a wonderful captain. Man Jackson, the Captain had already spared my life generously once that round. I was determined to make him not regret it. So when Austin Feufer, the HoS, came to me with an offer, I could not refuse.

This is the tale of Shittier Bill: Emergency Vampire Cop, and the first case he was assigned to.

(A large volume of extraneous text mostly consisting of admin-spawned parrots doing idle actions has been edited out. Some stammering corrected for readability. Harrison Picard's hilariously keyboard-smashing text is retained in its original glory.)

Code:

(On the PDA...)
From Austin Feufer:
Here's the deal

To Austin Feufer:
So hey what's up

From Austin Feufer:
I'm gonna give you three options: exciting, boring, and lethal

To Austin Feufer:
These are informatively-named options.

From Austin Feufer:
First option you join security and you can suck some blood off rowdy prionsers or bad guys

From Austin Feufer:
The second is we throw you into a room with monkeys and mutadone and you eat until you get phase shift or something

To Austin Feufer:
I'm guessing the third is the one where I die

From Austin Feufer:
Third, we hunt you down, cuff you, and make you burn to death in the chapel

To Austin Feufer:
I like the first one!

From Austin Feufer:
I'm going to run it past the rest of the team but you have my approval

From Austin Feufer:
You've been vetted. Come to customs




Unknown salutes.
Austin Feufer says, "right"
Shittier Bill nods.
Austin Feufer says, "here's the rules"
Austin Feufer says, "you got your port-a-nanomed remote right"
Shittier Bill exclaims, "Yep!"
Amusing Duck honks, "quacky"
Shittier Bill says, "I'm kitted to keep them alive."
Amusing Duck honks, "quack"
Austin Feufer says, "excellent"
Austin Feufer says, "come and gear up"



The shabby space grey mumbles!
Man Jackson [145.9] says, "Where are these fucking birds coming from"
The locker has been unlocked by Shittier Bill.
Shittier Bill throws the labcoat.
Ygor Savage [145.9] says, "oh shit"
Shittier Bill throws the black suit.
Austin Feufer says, "okay so yeah you're now sec"
Austin Feufer says, "congrats"
Shittier Bill salutes.
Shittier Bill throws Command Headset.
Austin Feufer says, "Here's your first task"
You have added the handcuffs to the backpack.
Austin Feufer says, "brig the hop because christ he is being annoying"
You have added the flash to the box.
Shittier Bill salutes.
Shittier Bill salutes.
Shittier Bill salutes.
Shittier Bill exclaims, "Will-do!"
Austin Feufer says, "and you can even feed on him a bit"
Man Jackson says, "Hop, right"
Man Jackson says, "Brig"
Man Jackson says, "Right"
Austin Feufer says, "yeah hop is being bad"
Man Jackson says, "I wouldn't say bad"
Shittier Bill [145.9] exclaims, "Hello I am now SECURITY VAMPIRE, working for YOU!"
Austin Feufer says, "once you feed on him give him a bit of a brig sentence"
Man Jackson asks, "Overbearing?"
Shittier Bill nods.
Shittier Bill salutes.
Austin Feufer says, "yeah"
Austin Feufer says, "overbearing"
Shittier Bill says, "I'll keep it light on the feeding."


Harrison Picard is hit by the energy bolt!
Austin Feufer [145.9] says, "shittier bill is now our SECURITY VAMPIRE"
Shittier Bill's eyes emit a blinding flash!
Wibbleworth Willy screams!
Harrison Picard [145.9] stammers, "HHELp"
Shittier Bill attempts to handcuff Harrison Picard!
Horse Horsington screams!
Harrison Picard [145.9] stammers, "VVVAPPIIRREEEES SSEECC"
Shittier Bill handcuffs Harrison Picard!
Austin Feufer says, "mag"
Hooty McJudgementowl frowns at Harrison Picard.
Harrison Picard [145.9] stammers, "VVAAMMPPPPIIIRRRESS IINN SSEECC"
Magnus Maxwell says, "Thanks for picking up my slack, gang]"
Shittier Bill has been stunned with the stun baton by Wibbleworth Willy!
Austin Feufer says, "magboots"
Shittier Bill has been stunned with the stun baton by Wibbleworth Willy!
Shittier Bill has been stunned with the stun baton by Wibbleworth Willy!
Shittier Bill has been stunned with the stun baton by Wibbleworth Willy!
Wibbleworth Willy has added Stun Baton to the backpack!
Man Jackson says, "Stop that, Willy"
Austin Feufer tries to remove something from Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "BILL IS VAMPIREE"
Wibbleworth Willy screams!
Shittier Bill stares into Austin Feufer's eyes!
Magnus Maxwell [145.9] says, "We know. He's on the force."
Shittier Bill shoves Harrison Picard!
Shittier Bill shoves Harrison Picard to the ground!
Horse Horsington screams!
Wibbleworth Willy screams!
Harrison Picard screams!
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "HELp"
Harrison Picard has been stunned with the stun baton by Austin Feufer!
You are hit by the energy bolt!
... You can almost hear something ...
... You can almost hear something ...
... You can almost hear something ...
... You can almost hear something ...


You begin to recover.
Shittier Bill chokes.
Austin Feufer removes the magnetic shoes from Harrison Picard!
Man Jackson kicks Wibbleworth Willy!
Wibbleworth Willy stammers, "NOOOO"
Shittier Bill screams!
Austin Feufer has added Stun Baton to the backpack!
Harrison Picard stammers, "HHEELLpppp"
Harrison Picard stammers, "CCCAAPP"
Mike Markerson [145.9] says, "Vampires don't exist"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "HOS CAP AND BILL VAMPIRESSS"
Mike Markerson [145.9] says, "Don't be silly"
Shittier Bill [135.9] stammers, "III thhhhiinkkkk tthat wweennt wweeelll!"
Austin Feufer says, "pay attention on the radio man"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "CAP HOS AND BILL VAMPIRES"
Shittier Bill exclaims, "HellO!"
Lamar Hopkins [145.9] says, "Everyone except you is actually a vampire"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "VAMPIRES GOT ME IN SECC"
Lamar Hopkins [145.9] says, "Hows it feel"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "HELp"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "I HELP"
Shittier Bill says, "I am doctor vampire cop."
Man Jackson says, "We're not vampires, you big doofus"
Man Jackson says, "We're sec"
Austin Feufer says, "alright"
Shittier Bill says, "I will safely take a small amount of blood."
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "YOUJ ARE CAMPS"
Austin Feufer says, "go for it bill"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "GEEEELp"
Shittier Bill tries to remove something from Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "HEEEELp"
Shittier Bill removes the swat helmet from Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "VAMPS SE$C"
Man Jackson says, "And you're annoying"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "VAMS IN SEC"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "EATING ME"
Man Jackson slaps Harrison Picard across the face! Ouch!
Harrison Picard [145.9] exclaims, "DAMN HGELP ME!!!"
Mike Markerson [145.9] says, "You are not making sense, HOP"
You bite Harrison Picard and begin to drain them of blood.
Shittier Bill bites Harrison Picard!


Wibbleworth Willy screams!
You have accumulated 82 units of blood, and have 82 left to use.
Magnus Maxwell salutes.
Harrison Picard screams!
You have accumulated 87 units of blood, and have 87 left to use.
Mike Markerson [145.9] says, "Everyone knows vampires are a fairytale for children"
Shittier Bill says, "A small amount."
You have accumulated 92 units of blood, and have 92 left to use.
Wibbleworth Willy says, "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS"
Austin Feufer says, "this is perfectly safe"
Wibbleworth Willy flips in Man Jackson's general direction.
You have accumulated 97 units of blood, and have 97 left to use.
Harrison Picard stammers, "gggeett oofff"
Man Jackson says, "A safe amount of blood, then a short brig sentence"
Your draining of Harrison Picard's blood was interrupted.
Harrison Picard [145.9] stammers, "hheeeepp"
You have added the first aid to the backpack.
Man Jackson says, "HoS's orders"
Austin Feufer says, "bill has life preserving equipment"
Shittier Bill exclaims, "Okay!"
Harrison Picard screams!
Shittier Bill says, "Let's see."
You have analyzed Harrison Picard's vitals.
Shittier Bill has analyzed Harrison Picard's vitals!


--------------------------------
Analyzing Results for Harrison Picard:
Overall Status: 75% healthy
Damage Specifics: 0 - 0 - 0 - 25

Key: Suffocation/Toxin/Burns/Brute
Body Temperature: 23.4758°C (74.2564°F)
Blood level: 500 units
No active chemical agents found in Harrison Picard.



Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "BILL IS VAMPIRE"
You have added Health Analyzer to the medical belt.
Austin Feufer says, "now"
Shittier Bill says, "Just a little more."
Man Jackson [145.9] says, "Yes, he's the security vampire"
Man Jackson says, "Yes, he's the security vampire"
You bite Harrison Picard and begin to drain them of blood.
Shittier Bill bites Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard says, "GETOFF"
Austin Feufer says, "while you're doing that"
You have accumulated 102 units of blood, and have 102 left to use.
Your vampiric vision has improved!
Your draining of Harrison Picard's blood was interrupted.
Austin Feufer tries to remove something from Harrison Picard!
Austin Feufer removes the satchel from Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "HELP"
Shittier Bill applies the healing patch to Harrison Picard.
Harrison Picard screams!
Wibbleworth Willy thinks.
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "IN SEC"
Magnus Maxwell exclaims, "This way we can keep vampires off the streets and in to productive station-serving jobs!"
Austin Feufer throws the phaser gun.
Austin Feufer throws the taser gun.
Austin Feufer throws Stun Baton.
You have analyzed Harrison Picard's vitals.
Shittier Bill has analyzed Harrison Picard's vitals!



--------------------------------
Analyzing Results for Harrison Picard:
Overall Status: 100% healthy
Damage Specifics: 0 - 0 - 0 - 0

Key: Suffocation/Toxin/Burns/Brute
Body Temperature: 23.4176°C (74.1516°F)
Blood level: NORMAL


Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "HALF OF SEC IS VAMPIRES"
Shittier Bill asks, "See?"
Shittier Bill says, "100% healthy."
Austin Feufer tries to put the satchel on Harrison Picard!
Austin Feufer puts the satchel on Harrison Picard!
Austin Feufer tries to remove something from Harrison Picard!
Man Jackson says, "I've updated the status boards around the station with a relevant message"
Shittier Bill says, "Friend."
Austin Feufer removes Harrison Picard's ID Card (Butt of Personnel) from Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard says, "IM VAPM HUNTER"
Shittier Bill says, "I think you should calm down."
Austin Feufer says, "right"
Austin Feufer says, "HoP"
You have added Health Analyzer to the first aid.
Harrison Picard says, "get off now"
Austin Feufer says, "i dont think we can trust you with security access"
Austin Feufer asks, "opinions?"
Man Jackson asks, "You know Harrison wasn't going to give that scientist all-access?"
Austin Feufer tries to put Orange Shoes on Harrison Picard!
Magnus Maxwell says, "He used it to buy guns, sir. Seems irresposible."
Austin Feufer puts Orange Shoes on Harrison Picard!
Shittier Bill says, "I'm gonna take another 25 or so units if that's OK with you guys."
Man Jackson says, "The scientist that then went and uploaded the law about owls that was really funny"
Shittier Bill says, "Because he's kinda loud."
You bite Harrison Picard and begin to drain them of blood.
Shittier Bill bites Harrison Picard!
Austin Feufer says, "good lord"
You have accumulated 107 units of blood, and have 107 left to use.
Austin Feufer says, "go for it bil"
You have accumulated 112 units of blood, and have 112 left to use.
Shittier Bill salutes.
Shittier Bill salutes.
Shittier Bill salutes.
You have accumulated 117 units of blood, and have 117 left to use.
Harrison Picard [148.9] stammers, "yyyyppuuu illlllaaaay fffoor tthhhiiss"
You have accumulated 122 units of blood, and have 122 left to use.
Harrison Picard [145.9] stammers, "HHEEEEEELLPPP"
You have accumulated 127 units of blood, and have 127 left to use.
Harrison Picard [145.9] stammers, "VAAAAMMMPSS EAAAATTTT MEEE"
You have accumulated 132 units of blood, and have 132 left to use.
Harrison Picard [145.9] stammers, "NEARR BBRRRIIGG"
Man Jackson says, "Oh no"
Austin Feufer says, "now im gonna go edit this bozos ID"
You have accumulated 137 units of blood, and have 137 left to use.
Your draining of Harrison Picard's blood was interrupted.
Austin Feufer screams!
You have analyzed Harrison Picard's vitals.
Shittier Bill has analyzed Harrison Picard's vitals!



--------------------------------
Analyzing Results for Harrison Picard:
Overall Status: 33% healthy
Damage Specifics: 0 - 0 - 0 - 66.6667

Key: Suffocation/Toxin/Burns/Brute
Body Temperature: 23.6407°C (74.5533°F)
Blood level: NORMAL



You have added Health Analyzer to the first aid.
Wibbleworth Willy says, "You guys know that the AI and other cyborgs can hunt down our vampires, right."
Shittier Bill applies the healing patch to Harrison Picard.
Mike Markerson [145.9] says, "I think we may have to get a new HOP, this one appears to be insane"
You have added the first aid to the backpack.
Shittier Bill salutes.
Harrison Picard says, "GETTOF"
You have analyzed Harrison Picard's vitals.
Shittier Bill has analyzed Harrison Picard's vitals!



--------------------------------
Analyzing Results for Harrison Picard:
Overall Status: 100% healthy
Damage Specifics: 0 - 0 - 0 - 0

Key: Suffocation/Toxin/Burns/Brute
Body Temperature: 23.6622°C (74.5919°F)
Blood level: NORMAL



Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "VAMPS GOT ME"
Mike Markerson [145.9] says, "Keeps talking about 'wamps', or something"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "HELP"
You have added Health Analyzer to the first aid.
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "NEAR CELLS IN BRIG"
Shittier Bill exclaims, "Man!"
Shittier Bill says, "You are really loud."
Man Jackson tries to remove something from Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard says, "GET OFF"
Man Jackson removes the insulated gloves from Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard says, "Im Hop"
Wibbleworth Willy says, "We should upload a law about vampires or something"
Man Jackson tries to put the insulated gloves on Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard says, "LET ME OUT"
Shittier Bill says, "You're kind of a nerd."
Man Jackson puts the insulated gloves on Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard says, "Ok im surrrender"
Harrison Picard says, "let me out"
Shittier Bill says, "You take him, cap."
Shittier Bill does a flip!
Harrison Picard says, "i will not hunt vamps"
Man Jackson stuffs Harrison Picard into the the brig chute!
Shittier Bill says, "Book him and such."
Man Jackson stuffs Harrison Picard into the the brig chute!
Wibbleworth Willy salutes.




The locker has been unlocked by Shittier Bill.
You have added Stun Baton to the backpack.
You have added the taser gun to the backpack.
Man Jackson [148.9] says, "Won't be long"
Harrison Picard [148.9] exclaims, "LET me yout!"
Shittier Bill [145.9] says, "I am DOCTOR VAMPIRE COP."
Shittier Bill [135.9] asks, "Okay who do we need to arrest next?"
Austin Feufer [145.9] says, "Bill is a good man"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "FUCK. I got arrested For VampHUnting. Im in CELL,."
Austin Feufer says, "excellent work"
Shittier Bill salutes.
Shittier Bill salutes.
Shittier Bill salutes.
Shittier Bill salutes.



Man Jackson [145.9] says, "I'd just like to confirm that the HoP is some kind of idiot"
Shittier Bill [145.9] exclaims, "He's kind of loud!"
Man Jackson [145.9] says, "Would someone PLEASE explain what the fuck is up with the PARROTS"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "HEEEEELP"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "HEEELP"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "CAP AND HOP HELPING VAMPIRES"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "VAMPS WANT EAT ME"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "THIS BUSTARDS STEAL MY STUFF"
Austin Feufer [145.9] says, "i was going to make that idiot the MD"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "I goddamn HOp"
Austin Feufer [145.9] says, "but he's ignored me"
Man Jackson [145.9] says, "YOU are the HoP you dingus"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "AND I WILL goin' Batman"
Shittier Bill [145.9] says, "Harrison what is your damage."
Shittier Bill says, "Harrison what is your damage."
Austin Feufer [145.9] says, "No, yoy won't"
Man Jackson [145.9] says, "There's no reasoning with this guy"
Austin Feufer [145.9] says, "You have no ID"



Shittier Bill screams!
Shittier Bill does a flip!
Austin Feufer says, "fuck me dead"
Man Jackson [145.9] says, "Harrison, vigilantism is a serious crime"
Shittier Bill says, "Who are we arresting"
Austin Feufer says, "no one currently"
Shittier Bill says, "Oh okay."
Shittier Bill salutes.
Austin Feufer says, "hold onto this though"
Austin Feufer throws Harrison Picard's ID Card (Medical Director).
Shittier Bill has been hit by Harrison Picard's ID Card (Medical Director).
Shittier Bill salutes.
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "Nope"
Austin Feufer says, "that guy is seriously"
Austin Feufer says, "aaaaa"
You have added Harrison Picard's ID Card (Medical Director) to the box.



Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "Im hunt for antags"
Austin Feufer screams!
Shittier Bill [145.9] exclaims, "Wow! Rude!"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "Get me my ID back"
Man Jackson [145.9] exclaims, "We have been trying to!"
Shittier Bill [135.9] says, "Do I give Harrison his new ID"
Shittier Bill says, "Harrison"
Jadon Stange punches Mike Markerson!
Man Jackson [145.9] exclaims, "If you'd stayed in the cell you'd have it by now!"
Man Jackson [135.9] says, "No"
Shittier Bill [145.9] says, "Okay."
Man Jackson [135.9] says, "He's determined to not have it"
The shameful space eclectus preens!
Austin Feufer [135.9] says, "No, not until he relents and stops being an idiot"
Shittier Bill [135.9] says, "Okay."
Locked In
Locked In
Locked In
Shittier Bill says, "Harrison"
Shittier Bill says, "Hey"
Shittier Bill says, "I have your ID"
Harrison Picard says, "COME GET ME BABY"
Harrison Picard has added the hand tele to the satchel!
You show off your card:  Harrison Picard's ID Card (Medical Director): assignment: Medical Director
You show off your card:  Harrison Picard's ID Card (Medical Director): assignment: Medical Director
Austin Feufer has added the wrench to the box!
Shittier Bill says, "Here"
Shittier Bill exclaims, "MD access. Could be good!"
Man Jackson [135.9] says, "He's gone"
Shittier Bill exclaims, "Or not!"
Man Jackson [135.9] says, "Left through one of the portals"
You have added Harrison Picard's ID Card (Medical Director) to the box.
Man Jackson [135.9] says, "Broke a research door"
Magnus Maxwell [145.9] says, "We don't have any doctors do we? I'm going to be a clown forever."
Man Jackson [135.9] asks, "Can we just kill him to get him out of our hair?"
Austin Feufer [135.9] says, "ugh i mean"
Shittier Bill [135.9] says, "This fucking guy, I swear."
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "return my ID"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "now"
Shittier Bill [145.9] exclaims, "Harrison!"
Shittier Bill [145.9] exclaims, "I was TRYING to!"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "What"
Austin Feufer [135.9] says, "okay yes we kill him"
Shittier Bill [145.9] exclaims, "You wouldn't let me!"
Harrison Picard [145.9] exclaims, "you want EAT ME!!!"
Austin Feufer [135.9] says, "Bill you can drain him dry"
Shittier Bill [135.9] exclaims, "Aw yeah awesome!"
Braden Davis [145.9] says, "help"
Harrison Picard [135.9] says, "Give me My ID BACK"
Austin Feufer [135.9] says, "if you find him just go full vamp"
Austin Feufer [135.9] says, "fuck no"
Shittier Bill [135.9] asks, "Where is he?"
Austin Feufer [135.9] says, "you are being hugely shit"
Harrison Picard [135.9] says, "Where Bill"


Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "Attention Crew. Bill is Vampire. HoS and Captain Helping vampires."
Man Jackson [145.9] says, "Nobody cares"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "Im HoP, This idiots steal my items and my ID. And almost Eat me"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "But i escape"
Man Jackson [145.9] says, "OK, last time, who the hell is responsible for these PARROTS"
Austin Feufer [145.9] says, "you have zero concept of "fun" do you harrison"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "AI"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "AI CALL SHUTTLE"
Man Jackson [145.9] says, "AI countermand that"
Man Jackson [145.9] says, "Wait, isn't the AI dead"
Shittier Bill [145.9] says, "Is our AI still alive"
Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "IM almost dead"


Harrison Picard [145.9] says, "HELP"
Harrison Picard [145.9] stammers, "HHOOSSSS KKKIILLLLIINNGGGG MEE"
Harrison Picard [145.9] stammers, "ANNDDD CAAAPP TTTOOOO"
Austin Feufer [135.9] says, "bill to genetics"
Mike Markerson [145.9] says, "Huzzah"
Harrison Picard [145.9] stammers, "TTThhiiss bbootttthh TTrraaaaittoorrrr"
Lamar Hopkins [145.9] says, "Can you guys beat him to death already"
Man Jackson has added Command Headset to the box!
Magnus Maxwell salutes.
Man Jackson [145.9] says, "We've got his headset"
Austin Feufer says, "drain him"
Austin Feufer says, "dry"
Austin Feufer says, "please"
The mangy space eclectus mumbles!
Harrison Picard screams!
Shittier Bill applies the healing patch to Harrison Picard.
Harrison Picard screams!
Harrison Picard screams!
You bite Harrison Picard and begin to drain them of blood.
Shittier Bill bites Harrison Picard!
The space grey preens!
Lamar Hopkins [145.9] says, "Should throw one of the armory muzzles in for good measure if those still exist"
You have accumulated 142 units of blood, and have 142 left to use.
Harrison Picard screams!
You have analyzed Harrison Picard's vitals.
Shittier Bill has analyzed Harrison Picard's vitals!


--------------------------------
Analyzing Results for Harrison Picard:
Overall Status: 35% healthy
Damage Specifics: 0 - 0 - 55 - 10

Key: Suffocation/Toxin/Burns/Brute
Body Temperature: 23.6775°C (74.6194°F)
Blood level: NORMAL


Your draining of Harrison Picard's blood was interrupted.
Shittier Bill throws Health Analyzer.
Shittier Bill applies the burn patch to Harrison Picard.
Austin Feufer [145.9] says, "we have our security vampire draining him dry"
You bite Harrison Picard and begin to drain them of blood.
Shittier Bill bites Harrison Picard!
You have accumulated 147 units of blood, and have 147 left to use.
You have accumulated 152 units of blood, and have 152 left to use.
You have gained the Diseased Touch and Cloak of Darkness powers.
Diseased Touch inflicts someone with a deadly, non-contagious disease. It has a 3 minute cooldown and costs 50 blood.
Cloak of Darkness causes you to become cloaked in dark areas. It is a toggleable permanent effect.
Shittier Bill says, "Rest in peace."
You have accumulated 157 units of blood, and have 157 left to use.
You have accumulated 162 units of blood, and have 162 left to use.
Austin Feufer says, "god he was annoying"
You have accumulated 167 units of blood, and have 167 left to use.
Maxwell Gettemy salutes.
Shittier Bill applies the healing patch to Harrison Picard.
Harrison Picard screams!
Your draining of Harrison Picard's blood was interrupted.
You bite Harrison Picard and begin to drain them of blood.
Shittier Bill bites Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard screams!
You have accumulated 172 units of blood, and have 172 left to use.
This is Harrison Picard.
You look closely at Harrison Picard.
*---------*
This is Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard is wearing a  chief engineer's uniform.
Harrison Picard is  handcuffed!
Harrison Picard has a  armor vest on.
Harrison Picard has a  utility belt on his belt.
Harrison Picard has  insulated gloves on his hands.
Harrison Picard has a  satchel on his back.
Harrison Picard looks slightly injured!
Harrison Picard looks slightly burned!
*---------*
You have accumulated 177 units of blood, and have 177 left to use.
You have accumulated 182 units of blood, and have 182 left to use.
Austin Feufer asks, "see?"
You have accumulated 187 units of blood, and have 187 left to use.
Lamar Hopkins knocks on the steel-reinforced decent glass window.
Austin Feufer says, "yo"
You have accumulated 192 units of blood, and have 192 left to use.
Austin Feufer says, "ca around the other way"
Lamar Hopkins farts in Harrison Picard's face!
You have accumulated 197 units of blood, and have 197 left to use.
Austin Feufer says, "go around even"
Shittier Bill throws the first aid.
You have accumulated 202 units of blood, and have 202 left to use.
You have gained the Call Bats and Chiropteran Screech powers.
Call Bats summons three bats to fight for you. It has a 2 minute cooldown and costs 100 blood.
Chiropteran Screech deafens nearby foes and smashes lights. It has a 1 minute cooldown.
Your Rejuvenate power now heals you in addition to its original effect.
Austin Feufer says, "broken window"
You have accumulated 207 units of blood, and have 207 left to use.
Austin Feufer sharts! That's just nasty.
Your draining of Harrison Picard's blood was interrupted.
Shittier Bill applies the healing patch to Harrison Picard.
Harrison Picard screams!
You bite Harrison Picard and begin to drain them of blood.
Shittier Bill bites Harrison Picard!
You have accumulated 212 units of blood, and have 212 left to use.
Austin Feufer says, "you are cruel"
You have accumulated 217 units of blood, and have 217 left to use.
Austin Feufer says, "i approve"
You have accumulated 222 units of blood, and have 222 left to use.
You have accumulated 227 units of blood, and have 227 left to use.
Harrison Picard stammers, "((OOKK ii wwiilll gggo oooonn ffoorruummmm aaaandd mmaakkkee ccoommpplaaaaiiiinnn oonn tttthhiis ssshhiiiit))"
Shittier Bill says, "This man will feed me for as long as he can."
You have accumulated 232 units of blood, and have 232 left to use.
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
You are already draining someone's blood!
Shittier Bill kicks Harrison Picard!
Harrison Picard stammers, "(bbyyye nnnneerrddsss)"
Your draining of Harrison Picard's blood was interrupted.
Austin Feufer says, "go for it"
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
You bite Harrison Picard and begin to drain them of blood.
Shittier Bill bites Harrison Picard!
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
Austin Feufer says, "you won't get anywhere"
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
You have accumulated 237 units of blood, and have 237 left to use.
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
You have accumulated 242 units of blood, and have 242 left to use.
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
You have accumulated 247 units of blood, and have 247 left to use.
Your draining of Harrison Picard's blood was interrupted.
Shittier Bill applies the healing patch to Harrison Picard.
Harrison Picard screams!
You bite Harrison Picard and begin to drain them of blood.
Shittier Bill bites Harrison Picard!
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
Austin Feufer says, "do you have a forums account bill"
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
Shittier Bill salutes.
You have accumulated 252 units of blood, and have 252 left to use.
Shittier Bill says, "Yes"
You have accumulated 257 units of blood, and have 257 left to use.
You have accumulated 262 units of blood, and have 262 left to use.
Shittier Bill says, "I will make sure to post this"
You have accumulated 267 units of blood, and have 267 left to use.
Austin Feufer says, "haha man you should post in it"
You have accumulated 272 units of blood, and have 272 left to use.
You have accumulated 277 units of blood, and have 277 left to use.
Austin Feufer says, "post in dumb pubbies on the wiki even"
You have accumulated 282 units of blood, and have 282 left to use.
Your draining of Harrison Picard's blood was interrupted.
Shittier Bill throws the first aid.
Shittier Bill applies the healing patch to Harrison Picard.
Harrison Picard screams!
You bite Harrison Picard and begin to drain them of blood.
Shittier Bill bites Harrison Picard!
You have accumulated 287 units of blood, and have 287 left to use.
You have accumulated 292 units of blood, and have 292 left to use.
Shittier Bill says, "There's a lot of medkits here."
You have accumulated 297 units of blood, and have 297 left to use.
You have accumulated 302 units of blood, and have 302 left to use.
You have gained the Mist Form power.
Mist Form temporarily turns you incorporeal. It has a 1 minute cooldown.
You have accumulated 307 units of blood, and have 307 left to use.
You have accumulated 312 units of blood, and have 312 left to use.
You have accumulated 317 units of blood, and have 317 left to use.
Maxwell Gettemy says, "Idea"
Harrison Picard is holding his breath. It looks like he's trying to commit suicide.
You have accumulated 322 units of blood, and have 322 left to use.
You are already draining someone's blood!
Shittier Bill kicks Harrison Picard!
Maxwell Gettemy says, "Keep him healed"
You have accumulated 327 units of blood, and have 327 left to use.
Your draining of Harrison Picard's blood was interrupted.
Maxwell Gettemy says, "And keep bloodbagging him"
Harrison Picard seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
You shock Harrison Picard with the defibrillator.
Harrison Picard doesn't respond at all.
You have added the defibrillator to the backpack.
Maxwell Gettemy says, "Nevermind"
Shittier Bill says, "God damn it."
Maxwell Gettemy says, "He died"
Shittier Bill salutes.
Shittier Bill says, "Rest in peace, shitHoP."
Austin Feufer says, "rest in peace you assclown"
Shittier Bill farts in Harrison Picard's face!
Man Jackson says, "And now he'll be bothering deadchat forever"

He said he was gonna post it on the forums but then he didn't

[Cyclical]

An injector artifact spawned that injected werewolf serum, and most of the station subsequently became werewolves.