Goonhub
12-30-2012, 05:37 PM
Usual Character Name: Whisper Dan
BYOND Username: Cegar
Recommended by (if applicable): NOBODY
Times Available: 8-10pm PST or 4-6am PST
Reason for Application: Horrid teenagers with fucked up power fantasies suck the fun out of this game. They also tend to gravitate to the jobs with stun guns and hand cuffs.
I have created a few scenes in which I, Whisper Dan, play Whisper Dan, a typical dumb security officer. Though these scenes are staged, they represent the constant struggles of everyday spacemen forced to contend with Bad Security.
![[Image: QnT1J.png]](http://i.imgur.com/QnT1J.png)
A captain griefed down in his prime. This shameful security officer shows robustness tempered by neither reason nor restraint. Security officers that harm baton the crew must be punished with the SSFD protocol: Stun, Strip, Fart, Demote to clown.
(click for big)
![[Image: MqntI.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/MqntI.png?1)
This is a lesser shame. A security guard that cannot identify true threats shows no reason. These poor dumb souls must be corrected on the spot and shown by example.
(click for big)
![[Image: V4BLY.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/V4BLY.png?1)
This is the least shame. A security guard that cannot defeat animals shows no robustness. I'm okay with this.
(click for big)
![[Image: gWtdS.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/gWtdS.png?1)
A most shameful officer shows no restraint. The brig is a hell of banana peels and hopelessness. No criminal should suffer this purgatory longer than necessary to subdue and rehabilitate them. Security officers that lack restraint must be ridiculed and demoted.
But security officers are not the only crewmembers to go bad.
(click for big)
![[Image: SCkOa.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/SCkOa.png?1)
The HoP has a tendency to turn into a power hungry vigilante with delusions of robust grandeur, often cutting swaths of destruction through the station. They usually have the resources to overpower even the most pure regular security officers. Fuck these guys.
Joking aside, there are a lot of people who select security to play out their Stanford Prison Experiment fantasies on Goonstation. Less now than there used to be, but they're still out there in the weird early morning hours where admin/HoS coverage is sparse. They imprison assistants for passing out drugs, flashbang boxing matches, and harm baton anyone within a 30 tile radius of traitor items. They're boring, uncreative, and insufferable.
Give me a beret so I can reeducate them and protect the crew from their perversions of justice.
Security Experience: I play security/captain roughly 20% of the time. Usually I dick around and eat donuts. If the security teams looks iffy, I stay around the brig and make sure they don't get lame. If serious stuff happens, I go out and confront the stuff. Here are some examples:
(click for big)
![[Image: 5VtRo.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/5VtRo.png?1)
The singularity escaped in the middle of a photoshoot. The HoS suggested we use our tasers against the singularity. I didn't have a taser, so I charged it with a stun baton. I successfully stunned the singularity and brigged it for one minute for destroying large pieces of the station. I also removed its access to engineering.
(click for big)
![[Image: By5ZF.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/By5ZF.png?1)
This was the next round. I'm in costume as a horrible HoP. Also I was really mad about tricord for some reason? I don't know. I was in character. But as you can see, I still managed to dodge a big bomb and secure a syndicate agent.
(click for big)
![[Image: iEdV6.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/iEdV6.png?1)
Then I retrieved the valiant HoS and revived him with a horrible concoction. We made it to the shuttle.
Don't I look good in that beret?
When I play security, my goal is to make fun. Fun is a careful balance between chaos and order. An overly competent security team can be as detrimental to a round as a useless one. So I like to kick back and let people do their thing. If somebody goes on a rampage or aliens start taking over, I deputize the crew and go blast motherfuckers. If a traitor gets caught with a bowling suit in the first two minutes of the round, I let them out early and tell them the dude abides.
Your opinion of Shrek (5 word minimum): That shit is old hat.
Previous Bans: I got banned from the IRC channel a long time ago for being a dick.
BYOND Username: Cegar
Recommended by (if applicable): NOBODY
Times Available: 8-10pm PST or 4-6am PST
Reason for Application: Horrid teenagers with fucked up power fantasies suck the fun out of this game. They also tend to gravitate to the jobs with stun guns and hand cuffs.
I have created a few scenes in which I, Whisper Dan, play Whisper Dan, a typical dumb security officer. Though these scenes are staged, they represent the constant struggles of everyday spacemen forced to contend with Bad Security.
A captain griefed down in his prime. This shameful security officer shows robustness tempered by neither reason nor restraint. Security officers that harm baton the crew must be punished with the SSFD protocol: Stun, Strip, Fart, Demote to clown.
(click for big)
![[Image: MqntI.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/n7MSn.png)
This is a lesser shame. A security guard that cannot identify true threats shows no reason. These poor dumb souls must be corrected on the spot and shown by example.
(click for big)
![[Image: V4BLY.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/F4sqn.png)
This is the least shame. A security guard that cannot defeat animals shows no robustness. I'm okay with this.
(click for big)
![[Image: gWtdS.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/dFaUa.png)
A most shameful officer shows no restraint. The brig is a hell of banana peels and hopelessness. No criminal should suffer this purgatory longer than necessary to subdue and rehabilitate them. Security officers that lack restraint must be ridiculed and demoted.
But security officers are not the only crewmembers to go bad.
(click for big)
![[Image: SCkOa.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/ppFpl.png)
The HoP has a tendency to turn into a power hungry vigilante with delusions of robust grandeur, often cutting swaths of destruction through the station. They usually have the resources to overpower even the most pure regular security officers. Fuck these guys.
Joking aside, there are a lot of people who select security to play out their Stanford Prison Experiment fantasies on Goonstation. Less now than there used to be, but they're still out there in the weird early morning hours where admin/HoS coverage is sparse. They imprison assistants for passing out drugs, flashbang boxing matches, and harm baton anyone within a 30 tile radius of traitor items. They're boring, uncreative, and insufferable.
Give me a beret so I can reeducate them and protect the crew from their perversions of justice.
Security Experience: I play security/captain roughly 20% of the time. Usually I dick around and eat donuts. If the security teams looks iffy, I stay around the brig and make sure they don't get lame. If serious stuff happens, I go out and confront the stuff. Here are some examples:
(click for big)
![[Image: 5VtRo.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/8M6Zv.png)
The singularity escaped in the middle of a photoshoot. The HoS suggested we use our tasers against the singularity. I didn't have a taser, so I charged it with a stun baton. I successfully stunned the singularity and brigged it for one minute for destroying large pieces of the station. I also removed its access to engineering.
(click for big)
![[Image: By5ZF.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/6aDR7.png)
This was the next round. I'm in costume as a horrible HoP. Also I was really mad about tricord for some reason? I don't know. I was in character. But as you can see, I still managed to dodge a big bomb and secure a syndicate agent.
(click for big)
![[Image: iEdV6.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/1eSLr.png)
Then I retrieved the valiant HoS and revived him with a horrible concoction. We made it to the shuttle.
Don't I look good in that beret?
When I play security, my goal is to make fun. Fun is a careful balance between chaos and order. An overly competent security team can be as detrimental to a round as a useless one. So I like to kick back and let people do their thing. If somebody goes on a rampage or aliens start taking over, I deputize the crew and go blast motherfuckers. If a traitor gets caught with a bowling suit in the first two minutes of the round, I let them out early and tell them the dude abides.
Your opinion of Shrek (5 word minimum): That shit is old hat.
Previous Bans: I got banned from the IRC channel a long time ago for being a dick.
