Eat Like a Spaceman Mk. II

[MollyMillions]

With the old forums gone, many (ok, 3) SS13 related concoctions were lost forever. However, through the magic of photography and free time, I've got a few more to share. Feel free to post your own recipes or photos or whatever of food what is like from the game


Taco Cake
This is a taco cake. It is I guess some sort of flat cookie dealy that was soft when warm and dried into the shape of a taco. It is filled with chocolate cake, vanilla icing, and Starburst cheese, tomatoes, and I guess lettuce or peppers or whatever the green is.


Deep Fried Family
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQYTMFCLy5E





The Twelve Egg Omelet
The food at Beth's is legitimately really good and twice now I have ordered and eaten a 12 egg omelet. 12 eggs is a lot of fucking food, especially when it's full of cheese and veggies, on top of a bed of the best hash browns in town, and it comes with toast. Why does it come with toast. They don't have 12 egg omelets in SS13 but it's something that should be added. EAT THE EGGS CAPTAIN


God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
wizard v changeling (wizard accidentally blinks into space). i made christmas cookies about it




hows it goin

[RedbeardRum]

whatever the green is.

I'm P. sure that's just paper

Paper can taste good, though.

[Val]

hows it goin

I hate myself and I want to die, but otherwise fine.

I see that I'm not the only one who had the thought of visualizing and indeed replicating some of the more "interesting" aspects of the game, that being the food. I'm a fairly robust chef IRL, but I have no idea where to begin on some of these recipes, let alone concoct them.

Here's some ideas to throw around. If there are pictures, they're not mine:
Drinks
Green Vomit Smoothie: Probably tastes like green apples, more likely made from them as the applesauce would help with the texture. Really slimy/thick somehow, which I hear yogurt is good for. Maybe a nice dose of lemon-lime soda for that added zip?


Singularity Bomb: I think this should also be a drink recipe. It'd be based on the sing and would be a bomb shot, where you drop a shot glass of one liquor into a drinking glass of another drink. Will probably involve grenadine syrup somewhere.

Changeling Spit: Another drink, because boy do we love to drink stuff. Probably a rancid concoction of every single citrus thing you mix into vodka or something and colored green. Add tonic water for fun effects with ultraviolet light.

Space Rum: Rum in space. Self explanatory. Don't know what this would involve, but you can bet it has rum.

Toxins Mix: Set it on fire for realistic effects! Again, not the drink expert here.

Foods
Asspie: I'm sure there's a way to make a pie crust that is in similar shape to the human buttocks. Make it a meatpie and it'll probably go over fairly well with your guests!

SS13-themed cookies: This is pretty easy I guess. Cookies in shapes that resemble vague representations of in-game things like the nuke disk, beepsky, toolboxes, a cluwne, and the e-sword. Maybe instead of gingerbread men, you can have nuke-op men or something.

Roburger:
A beef burger with a wheat bun, since it's as close to grey as I think I can get it, or perhaps some really pale bread of some kind. Some kind of thick, grayish gravy will have to be made, which I would recommend using mushrooms for. That and/or some cheese like Swiss. Purported to have lettuce, probably romaine. Top it with two toothpicks that stick out like antenna and pierce grape tomatoes through them, which will be its "eyes". Boop.

Donk Pocket: Probably just a pasty with a meatball in it. Feel free to elaborate on what else it might have.


Coronator: Coronator would probably be just a giant cheeseburger with multiple layers of meat and cheese.

THE MONSTER: THE MONSTER would be a different story, probably using a giant bun with several layers of meat and cheese. I wouldn't suggest making this if you're going to eat it yourself. Or even if you could make it at all yourself.


George Melon: Drill a bunch of holes into a watermelon and pour different kinds of kool-aid into them? Then decorate the outside and chill it. Will probably not look as impressive on the inside, but it might work. No meatball required.

[FrontlineAcrobat4]

Im good thanks for asking MM. Also where can you buy one of the MONSTERS?!?!?!?!!?!

[neogeo0823]

The Spaced Rum should be spiced rum mixed with something minty for that cold spaced feeling.

The Toxins should probably be some terrifying mix of sweet and bitter, with carbonation thrown in for good measure. I got no idea for that one.

Let's turn this around and add a recipe from real life to SS13!

I present, for goon consideration, the classic Hot Dog Roll Up!

You should definitely view the full write up, but the recipe should probably translate to the following:

Ingredients:
1 hot dog
1 lump of uncooked meat
1 egg
1 slice cheese
1 slice uncooked bacon
1 slices bread

recipe:
take 1 hotdog, add 1 bacon. Cook in oven, 8 seconds on high. Combine 1 egg with 1 uncooked meat, to get Meatcake(not the same as Meat Cake). Retrieve Bacondog from oven and combine with Meatcake to form uncooked Hot Dog Roll Up. Cook that for 9 seconds on high to retrieve Incomplete Hot Dog Roll Up. Add a slice of bread to complete it.

It should take at least 2, probably 4 bites to completely eat it. Each bite has a chance to cause the consumer to stagger around as if drunk, mumble and drool a lot, and fall asleep a lot. The cure for this condition is to lay down and get up repeatedly, to work off the massive amount of calories you just consumed. Or fall asleep for a while and sleep it off.

Incidentally, Meatcake should be cookable as a form of meat based pancakes. Bacondog should be eatable as-is. Maybe add a rod to it to make a Baconcorndog.

[david2222121]

I can't believe none of you thought this up at all:

[david2222121]

Oh god what did I do? Why can't I edit this? :oops:

Regardless, why the hell has no one mention thrice, even five times fried food? It's simple after all, you just shove the twinky in the fryer, wait ten seconds, pull it out, put it on a pizza, and fry that! Then make the pizza into a cake! And the pizza cake into a wanton! Alton Brown why haven't you covered this yet

[Val]

Im good thanks for asking MM. Also where can you buy one of the MONSTERS?!?!?!?!!?!

I think it was made for a contest. Not 100% sure about that, but I am certain some places offer a similar counterpart as a menu item. Wouldn't know where, myself.

Incidentally, Meatcake should be cookable as a form of meat based pancakes. Bacondog should be eatable as-is. Maybe add a rod to it to make a Baconcorndog.

Sounds good to me, almost like a goon counterpart of meatbread.

Regardless, why the hell has no one mention thrice, even five times fried food?

Deep-fried anything isn't really much of a recipe. Maybe you could deep-fry things in the shape of non-foods or people? Deep fried captain is the best, even if he was a comdom.

[Nitrous]

Deep fried comdom.

do it

[AngriestIBM]

Just a forewarning, the next fucker to eat a bananadog better make it a banana corndog or they're getting banned.

[ISaidNo]

aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

[neogeo0823]

aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Ah, sounds like another satisfied consumer of the Hot Dog Roll Up.

[Conor12]

Not sure if it happens in other places but my local chippy will deep-fry mars bars. Fantastic.