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Best moments ever thread 2.0
Lavastage Wrote:Dan McStan
[Log] "minute 1, Detective Drunk McStan is on the case."
Dan McStan [Log] "lets catch some baddies"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 3, Poisoned! by a botanist no less! this will not end good"
Dan McStan [Log] "i already feel wak"
Dan McStan [Log] "checking a medical scanner, it appears i have some sort of tumorous growth in me. i already dear for my life"
Dan McStan [Log] "Minute 6, checking my thermals, i see the barman has abducted a patron and is force drinking him a bo jacks, seems typical"
Dan McStan [Log] "checking him, i see that he is a changeling!"
Dan McStan [Log] "this will not stand!"
Dan McStan [Log] "jonathan and billy are one now"
Dan McStan [Log] "godspeed"
Dan McStan [Log] "Minute 9, i puked up, a GREEN LARVAE! interesting!"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 11, checking in with the security team, i alert them to the changeling's presence"
Dan McStan [Log] "i will be keeping tabs on the changeling's wearabouts"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 14, the HoP is passed out in security, poisoned by the ling. i will keep tabs to get info!"
Dan McStan [Log] "i minute 20, i have spotted the ling in telescience"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 22, some asshole stole the ling's id, making us arrest an innocent"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 25, we have assembled the ling hunting team, conscisting of me, Guy Garner Steve Dyssal, and Garret loveles"
Dan McStan [Log] "we are all screwed"
Dan McStan says, "gimme a moment"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 29, spaceman johnson is suspected of being a ling, we locked down the bar"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 32, most of the crew has been assimilated by now. today is a sad day."
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 34, possible changer trapped in the pod bay, further investigation required."
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 35, the captain is acting suspicious, we need to keep tabs on him"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 37, the captain has got steve! Rest in peace!"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 40, i have the captain locked in robo- OH FUCK"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 41, some asshole with a shotgun shot me, almost killing me without the borgs, then also set the captain ling free, DAMNIT!"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 45, we killed a ling, he is almos- OH FUCK HE WENT ABOMINATION"
Garrett Loveless [Log] "Went even."
Dan McStan [Log] "a man has been headspidered and has been locked up. it wont be long before he gets loose."
Dan McStan [Log] "OH FUCK OF FUCK OH FUCK"
Dan McStan [Log] "IM SO SCREWED"
Dan McStan [Log] "SHIT HE HAS THE OTHERS"
Dan McStan [Log] "OH NO NO NO"
Dan McStan [Log] "KILL IT"
Dan McStan [Log] "KILL IT WITH FIRE"
Dan McStan [Log] "it has been subdued for now"
Dan McStan [Log] "it may headspider soon"
Dan McStan [Log] "locke it up"
Dan McStan [Log] "wel it"
Dan McStan [Log] "weld the locker"
Dan McStan [Log] "HE IS LOOSE"
Dan McStan [Log] "FUCK"
Dan McStan [Log] "NO!"
Cyborg Omega-99 [Log] "MMyy lleggs"
Shambling Abomination [Log] "chill out nerdborg"
Cyborg Psi-45 [Log] "non-human must die"
Shambling Abomination [Log] "ttaatttt uuiiss a ffaaallllaaaaccyy"
Dan McStan [Log] "we are all screwed"
Cyborg Psi-45 [Log] "LLIINNGGGG EEVV----WOONNKKK"
Dan McStan [Log] "the ling is eating us one by one"
Cyborg Psi-45 [Log] "EEVA----FZZZZZZZTTT"
Dan McStan [Log] "LING AT ESCAPE"
Dan McStan [Log] "LOCK IT DOW"
Dan McStan [Log] "this is it"
Dan McStan [Log] "i dont have long"
Dan McStan [Log] "goodbyw"
Cyborg Omega-99 [Log] "NNeeedd -----BBBOOOOPP"

I killed that bastard that killed you Dan. We all made a good team.
Reply
I was Jonathan the barman in this story. I would like to tell you more about minute 45.

The captain and I had established an uneasy truce after stinging each other in the hangar and passing it off as drug-induced to bystanders. I went about my business, ate people, transformed, the usual - until I heard he'd been pinned in robotics. I break out my shotgun and gun Dan down, being forced to retreat by borg reinforcements. The captain escapes somehow and transforms, as do I - unbeknownst to each other, of course. Barely a minute later, we run into each other outside QM and he gets the jump on me. He drags me into the maintenance tunnels near Escape and begins the assimilation process when he is found by Dan's hunting team and shot. He goes into abomination form, of course, but makes little headway and is killed. Who's the nearest person? Me. The headspider jumps down my throat, creating a horrifying turducken-like changeling within a changeling, and I form a plan. I am certainly dead, as they lock me up rather than taking me to medbay, so I go abomination myself as the headspider begins to pound on my spine. I break out of the storage room and begin fighting the hunting team, tossing them around - unfortunately their hats save them from being devoured. They manage to incapacitate me and shove me in a locker...but before they can weld it shut, the captain-ling bursts from my head and makes a dashing escape.
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If you dont mind, i would like to add a bit as well. i was Guy Gardner, one of the members of the ill fated hunting team

After a vicious fight with one of the changelings in escape, me and Dan race over to Medbay to tackle yet another of the alien menace. Dan and I are brought to our knees by a terrible scream, and i am tossed into a disposal unit by the changeling, leaving Dan at the hands of the foul beast. I was pat out in Engineering, where i took the opportunity to charge one of my guns. All around me, I hear the scream of the crew, the detective firing into the changeling, fighting for dead life. And then, the shots stop. I fear the worst for my chain-smoking companion. I rush into medbay to attempt to save my friend, rearmed and ready to fight to the death. I see the abomination fighting off a horde of crewmen brandishing fire extinguishers, and take aim. I unload the entire charge of the laser gun into the disgusting creature, putting it down and allowing the crew to swarm and kill it. After a through beating, we toss the thing into the biomass reclaimer, and rid the station of one more changeling. I then walk among the carnage of medbay, only my Detective friend's hat, and audio log remained. In honor of my fallen comrade, i take his audio log with me, to save it for future generations to know the true heroism of Drunken Dan McStan.
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Lavastage Wrote:
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 1, Detective Drunk McStan is on the case."
Dan McStan [Log] "lets catch some baddies"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 3, Poisoned! by a botanist no less! this will not end good"
Dan McStan [Log] "i already feel wak"
Dan McStan [Log] "checking a medical scanner, it appears i have some sort of tumorous growth in me. i already dear for my life"
Dan McStan [Log] "Minute 6, checking my thermals, i see the barman has abducted a patron and is force drinking him a bo jacks, seems typical"
Dan McStan [Log] "checking him, i see that he is a changeling!"
Dan McStan [Log] "this will not stand!"
Dan McStan [Log] "jonathan and billy are one now"
Dan McStan [Log] "godspeed"
Dan McStan [Log] "Minute 9, i puked up, a GREEN LARVAE! interesting!"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 11, checking in with the security team, i alert them to the changeling's presence"
Dan McStan [Log] "i will be keeping tabs on the changeling's wearabouts"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 14, the HoP is passed out in security, poisoned by the ling. i will keep tabs to get info!"
Dan McStan [Log] "i minute 20, i have spotted the ling in telescience"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 22, some asshole stole the ling's id, making us arrest an innocent"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 25, we have assembled the ling hunting team, conscisting of me, Guy Garner Steve Dyssal, and Garret loveles"
Dan McStan [Log] "we are all screwed"
Dan McStan says, "gimme a moment"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 29, spaceman johnson is suspected of being a ling, we locked down the bar"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 32, most of the crew has been assimilated by now. today is a sad day."
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 34, possible changer trapped in the pod bay, further investigation required."
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 35, the captain is acting suspicious, we need to keep tabs on him"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 37, the captain has got steve! Rest in peace!"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 40, i have the captain locked in robo- OH FUCK"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 41, some asshole with a shotgun shot me, almost killing me without the borgs, then also set the captain ling free, DAMNIT!"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 45, we killed a ling, he is almos- OH FUCK HE WENT ABOMINATION"
Garrett Loveless [Log] "Went even."
Dan McStan [Log] "a man has been headspidered and has been locked up. it wont be long before he gets loose."
Dan McStan [Log] "OH FUCK OF FUCK OH FUCK"
Dan McStan [Log] "IM SO SCREWED"
Dan McStan [Log] "SHIT HE HAS THE OTHERS"
Dan McStan [Log] "OH NO NO NO"
Dan McStan [Log] "KILL IT"
Dan McStan [Log] "KILL IT WITH FIRE"
Dan McStan [Log] "it has been subdued for now"
Dan McStan [Log] "it may headspider soon"
Dan McStan [Log] "locke it up"
Dan McStan [Log] "wel it"
Dan McStan [Log] "weld the locker"
Dan McStan [Log] "HE IS LOOSE"
Dan McStan [Log] "FUCK"
Dan McStan [Log] "NO!"
Cyborg Omega-99 [Log] "MMyy lleggs"
Shambling Abomination [Log] "chill out nerdborg"
Cyborg Psi-45 [Log] "non-human must die"
Shambling Abomination [Log] "ttaatttt uuiiss a ffaaallllaaaaccyy"
Dan McStan [Log] "we are all screwed"
Cyborg Psi-45 [Log] "LLIINNGGGG EEVV----WOONNKKK"
Dan McStan [Log] "the ling is eating us one by one"
Cyborg Psi-45 [Log] "EEVA----FZZZZZZZTTT"
Dan McStan [Log] "LING AT ESCAPE"
Dan McStan [Log] "LOCK IT DOW"
Dan McStan [Log] "this is it"
Dan McStan [Log] "i dont have long"
Dan McStan [Log] "goodbyw"
Cyborg Omega-99 [Log] "NNeeedd -----BBBOOOOPP"

This is what I like to see. I love when people use the audio log like this. It's perfect for sharing stories.
Reply
KikiMofo Wrote:
Lavastage Wrote:
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 1, Detective Drunk McStan is on the case."
Dan McStan [Log] "lets catch some baddies"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 3, Poisoned! by a botanist no less! this will not end good"
Dan McStan [Log] "i already feel wak"
Dan McStan [Log] "checking a medical scanner, it appears i have some sort of tumorous growth in me. i already dear for my life"
Dan McStan [Log] "Minute 6, checking my thermals, i see the barman has abducted a patron and is force drinking him a bo jacks, seems typical"
Dan McStan [Log] "checking him, i see that he is a changeling!"
Dan McStan [Log] "this will not stand!"
Dan McStan [Log] "jonathan and billy are one now"
Dan McStan [Log] "godspeed"
Dan McStan [Log] "Minute 9, i puked up, a GREEN LARVAE! interesting!"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 11, checking in with the security team, i alert them to the changeling's presence"
Dan McStan [Log] "i will be keeping tabs on the changeling's wearabouts"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 14, the HoP is passed out in security, poisoned by the ling. i will keep tabs to get info!"
Dan McStan [Log] "i minute 20, i have spotted the ling in telescience"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 22, some asshole stole the ling's id, making us arrest an innocent"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 25, we have assembled the ling hunting team, conscisting of me, Guy Garner Steve Dyssal, and Garret loveles"
Dan McStan [Log] "we are all screwed"
Dan McStan says, "gimme a moment"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 29, spaceman johnson is suspected of being a ling, we locked down the bar"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 32, most of the crew has been assimilated by now. today is a sad day."
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 34, possible changer trapped in the pod bay, further investigation required."
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 35, the captain is acting suspicious, we need to keep tabs on him"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 37, the captain has got steve! Rest in peace!"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 40, i have the captain locked in robo- OH FUCK"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 41, some asshole with a shotgun shot me, almost killing me without the borgs, then also set the captain ling free, DAMNIT!"
Dan McStan [Log] "minute 45, we killed a ling, he is almos- OH FUCK HE WENT ABOMINATION"
Garrett Loveless [Log] "Went even."
Dan McStan [Log] "a man has been headspidered and has been locked up. it wont be long before he gets loose."
Dan McStan [Log] "OH FUCK OF FUCK OH FUCK"
Dan McStan [Log] "IM SO SCREWED"
Dan McStan [Log] "SHIT HE HAS THE OTHERS"
Dan McStan [Log] "OH NO NO NO"
Dan McStan [Log] "KILL IT"
Dan McStan [Log] "KILL IT WITH FIRE"
Dan McStan [Log] "it has been subdued for now"
Dan McStan [Log] "it may headspider soon"
Dan McStan [Log] "locke it up"
Dan McStan [Log] "wel it"
Dan McStan [Log] "weld the locker"
Dan McStan [Log] "HE IS LOOSE"
Dan McStan [Log] "FUCK"
Dan McStan [Log] "NO!"
Cyborg Omega-99 [Log] "MMyy lleggs"
Shambling Abomination [Log] "chill out nerdborg"
Cyborg Psi-45 [Log] "non-human must die"
Shambling Abomination [Log] "ttaatttt uuiiss a ffaaallllaaaaccyy"
Dan McStan [Log] "we are all screwed"
Cyborg Psi-45 [Log] "LLIINNGGGG EEVV----WOONNKKK"
Dan McStan [Log] "the ling is eating us one by one"
Cyborg Psi-45 [Log] "EEVA----FZZZZZZZTTT"
Dan McStan [Log] "LING AT ESCAPE"
Dan McStan [Log] "LOCK IT DOW"
Dan McStan [Log] "this is it"
Dan McStan [Log] "i dont have long"
Dan McStan [Log] "goodbyw"
Cyborg Omega-99 [Log] "NNeeedd -----BBBOOOOPP"

This is what I like to see. I love when people use the audio log like this. It's perfect for sharing stories.

next time we have a telescience expedition, im totally gonna take one and chronicle how everyone gets horribly murdered.
Reply
Standard borg needs an audio log tool.
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Decided during a round as a security officer I was gonna find out if wendigo's can be ate.

Grabbed kitchen knife, emergancy suit, oxygen tank.

Tried every effort to break into icestation's ladder, which didn't work, so I had to resort to plan b, fall into the abyss and find a wendigo (inadvised, considering I had no back up and no actual plan once I found a wendigo besides "Maybe stab it with the knife, or harm baton it")

Long story short I ended up dragging some dead guy as close as I could get to the ladder, found a wendigo and a flare gun, quickly shot the wendigo with the flare gun, it died surprisingly quickly. I cut it up with the knife, ate it, and got food poisoning. Found another wendigo and my flare gun was out of ammo. The dead guy got ate, and I was left in crit as the round ended, presumably ate by the wendigo along with the wendigo meat I had previously aquired (Not my kill, doesn't count)

Basically there's a angry wendigo out there that may have committed cannibalism, also wendigo meat should always be cooked.
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Cannibalism is oddly appropriate. Look up wendigos on Wikipedia.
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So earlier I was the Captain and decided I'd upload a silly freeform law at the start of the round; after a moment or two looking down my list I went with "There is no law 4." Thinking nothing of it, I went about my round.

Shortly after, the AI caught someone in its upload, and rather sarcastically referred to them as 'CAPTAIN'. Then it stated laws.

1. You may not injure a human being or cause a human being to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings based on the station's chain of command, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4. [guy whose name I forget] is the Captain, regardless of rank or situation.
5. There is no law 4.

Sublime.
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Earlier today I was a traitorous Captain with a simple idea: I would become both immortal, and a vampire. And so it was. Then I ordered a surplus crate, which had a wrestling belt in it. Then this happened:

Lia Alliman climbs onto the angry bat!
Lia Alliman screams!
Lia Alliman butt-drops Weyoun Butterfill!
Lia Alliman says, "Neat."
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"Thank you for playing SS13"

[Image: GabePocalypse%201.png]

[Image: GabePocalypse%202.png]

[Image: GabePocalypse%203.png]

[Image: GabePocalypse%204.png]
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I actually have a small chunk of that round recorded:
http://youtu.be/KOKpQJWegVw
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I found a Funny bug with the Chameleon projector.
"You leap and slam your head against the inside of 1 Credit! Ouch!"
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More me doing more me things with more projector bugs.
[Image: zfHwTiG.png]

Also discovered a teleportation bug with the segways.
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[Image: 2a51abq.jpg]
I am v. good at my job
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