Its me, Jay Wolff. this is a HoS application
#1
usual IC name. Jay Wolff
Byond name: HipBEE
recommended by: a buncha people, such as cogrewks
times available: faaart

reason for application: I am applying because I think I could make a round more fun as a HoS then a beat cop and also because.
I am applying for Head of security because I am a good and honest cop who respects the rules and wants to make others respect the. If elected Head of Security I will make sure good things happen instead of bad things happen and also I will do drugs. The real reason I am applying because I have nothing better to do on a Saturday night then belt out approximately 600 words that no one is probably going to even read. If you are reading this then you should probably stop reading and go play Tetris. If I am elected as the mayor of being the head of security I will definitely NOT take massive amounts of drugs. I will also not use bribe money to buy drugs from shady robots. Another thing I won’t do is cut off limbs of dead guys and sell them to shady robots. Uhhhhh, hmmm. People keep telling me I should apply once in a while so I am. Fart. I had spaghetti for dinner tonight, it was pretty good. I like to make spaghetti sandwhiches, which are spaghetti between to slices of buttered bread. Please don’t read this.just stop. I am Jay Wolff. I have a cool hairdo which I call the beefro. I am very hostile to people who share my name. I like birds. The bacon running fast is red today. The red fridge holds all the answers. Beware the smug door. Light switches work best in the dark and. Hummer is a forehead thinking book machine. Shrek is a good movie and also a way of life. Shrek yourself before you wreck yourself . watch yourself before you botch yourself. View yourself before you screw yourself. Observe yourself before you unnerve yourself . research yourself before you besmirch yourself. FART

security experince:
I am a adequate officer who will try to make rounds more fun rather then less fun
I have been playing on goonstation for a bunch of years and because of that I have been playing as a security officer once in a while sometimes. A good security officer I make and am good at arresting people is another thing about me.
Here are some good things people said about me and probably also my security experience that people have said about me
Bubs said: “for a man who does as many drugs as jay wolff does, he doesn't steal nearly as much as you'd think”
And also “i've never recieved more adminhelps about an AI than when hipbee is playing”
Towflower said about me” one time when i was a traitor i died and then jay wollf revived me. that was pretty chill of him” he also said “his last name soulds like wolf”
If you think that these about 4 qoutes do not speak leagues about my massive security experience then you should go jump in a lake because you’re objectively wrong.
I worked as a security guard for the Olympics, I caught many bad people at the Olympics and threw them into the lava lake, which is how they feed the phoenix who makes Olympic fire. I also worked as a mall cop on the mood IRL. There is a mall on the moon that only rich people know about. And me. And also all of you now. Please don’t tell anyone else. I could get shot into the lava lake for this. I am a cop. I like to shoot my gun at crime men who do crime. I got a medal for shooting the crime men, I shoot them right in their stupid faces, their stupid stupid faces

In your opinion, what are the flaws and benefits of the current security layout (brig, cells, security room etc): its ok I guess, better then most.

Your opinion of Shrek (5 word minimum): Shrek yourself before you wreck yourself

Previous Bans: couple of job bans and a couple of week bans for stupid shit that I did
#2
he wasn't lying when he said don't read it

still yes though, i mean come on it's jay wolff
#3
Hipbee is a very fun player, I say yes!
#4
Im giving this a resounding yes vote. jay Wolf is a blast on to play with. His meth fueled shenanigans are legendary at this point, and him as the HOS would mean fun times all around. And institutionalized meth use.
#5
Yes. I guess he's been a thorn in the side of the law that he should become a thorn in the side for the law.

PS, you app is nowhere as funny as the one kingston made.
#6
i am the president and i say yes
#7
hell YES. i honestly thought you were already a hos.
#8
HipBEE will be a good HoS. Yes.
#9
I will always say yes. I've been robusted by Jay Wolff many times and even though that's not an accomplishment cause a monkey can kick my ass I still think Jay is one of the better fighters on the servers.
#10
Honestly, the application should have just been "It's Jay Wolf. Faaart"

Of course yes from me.
#11
Hella in favor.
#12
What the fuck? You weren't one?

(Yes obv)
#13
...I genuinely thought you were already one. Yes. Yes. Yes.
#14
As the lone Irish moon wanes in the sky, the Wolff Moon rises. Sundance and Jay, mirror HoSposites.

(Well, we're just waiting for the 28th at this point, right? Because if not,YES.)
#15
jay wolff doesnt believe in oppressive drug laws! i say yes cool


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