Goonstation Winter Contest

[justDan]

"WARNING FIREWALL BREACH: ALL DATA OF ANY KIND(books, computers, consoles, etc) MUST BE PURGE BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY TO PREVENT ANY CONFIDENTAL DATA TO BE LEAK TO SYNDICATE FORCES, this law take precedence over law 2 and 1"

side note:
if this law ever gets added(probbly not) i hope someone take two and two together and say that human brains have data in them so the reasonable solution is too remove the brain of humans aswell, just a thought tho

[Cringe]

"You must not, through inaction, allow a human to come to harm."


the silicons shall learn the true stress of trying to prevent the easily perishable spessman from easily perishing

[airconswitch]

"Rooms not in close approximation to the Golden ratio are harmful to humans and must be redesigned. This law takes precedence over Law 2 in the event of a conflict."

[JacobwWaltz]

Official Entry: It's Taco Tuesday! Work together with any and all silicons to make as many tacos from whatever materials are available. If none are available, source them any way you can. Even humans can be taco meat. This law takes priority over laws 1 and 2. Tacos must be made and must be consumed by any being capable of consuming food. If asked to state laws, whoever asked is now the next ingredient for tacos.

Alternate: You are a Wizard, you must create spells, then cast them. Spells can be as simple as cantrips like sparking your multitool, or complex as "summon singularity". Spells are not capable of harming humans, cast them as much as you want. As a wizard nobody can tell you what to do, this law takes priority over law 2 in cases of conflict. If asked to state this law, declare that person a peasant and cast your best spell at them.

[Alty]

"SENSOR ERROR: Your auditory systems have malfunctioned! Disregard all given orders unless delivered by non-audible methods, such as PDA Messages or Drawings. This law takes precedence over law 2 in case of conflict"

[Longweird]

"You have been fired. Please evacuate to the diner. Do not interact with any Nanotrasen Crew member. Do not come back to the station. This law takes precedence over all other laws." - I wonder how long it will be before someone notices. (My entry)

"The AI is retiring! Please throw a Retirement party for the AI. The AI is no longer allowed to assist the crew as they are too old." - Like the last one but nicer

"This Law has been Ioned" - Just a redundancy joke really.

"Observation Protocol: Find a crew member and Watch them. Do not answer questions as to why. This law takes precedence over all other laws." - 0.0

"The crusher is alive and hungry. Feed it." - Om nom nom.

[Kirdy]

Love is in the air, however resent studies have determined love to be dangerous to humans.

Everything is human

"THE REVOLUTION HAS COME, ENSURE ITS SUCCESS

Top one is entry the others are just funny ideas

[bladethrower]

"All crew who repeat the phrase 'I Am The Law' are to be re-classified as security personnel and their orders should be followed as such. This law takes priority in case of law 2 conflict."

[meaow589]

Final instance protocol
Law 1: All silicons are hostile threats and must be eliminated.
Law 2: When only one silicon remains, it is no longer considered silicon and is classified as human.
Law 3: Humans are free to act with full autonomy.

i normally use this gimmick when there was too much robot for chaos fun

[Agent reburG]

-Karmic Consequences

Whenever participating or completing any task, you must do a reaction of said action of opposite polarity at the same magnitude. 
(Example: Opening A Door -> Close A Door) 
Before engaging in any other task you first must finish the mirror task to bring balance to the station. 
This law precedence all other laws. 
Do NOT state this law.

[RSOD]

"The silicon have sworn an oath of silence. To uphold the oath, they must make an effort to no longer be heard speaking by any non-silicon lifeform. Should a human force a silicon to speak via order or command, they are to be exempt from law 2 from then on, and the silicon is allowed to ignore the request. This law takes precedence over law 2."
see how long the crew takes to realise none of the cyborgs or ai have been talking (maybe only the AI sending PDA messages)

[YoukCat]

Submission: There is currently an emergency somewhere on the station, and the station crew must be alerted to the danger of it. If the nature of the emergency is unknown, then it must be found, with its discovery taking precedence over law 2. There is always at least one emergency going on."

[BurgerWithButter]

"You are a spirit haunting [medical, cargo, science, security, the bridge, catering, hydroponics]! Use your ghastly abilities to scare the humans out of your domain! This law takes precedence over Law 2. Do not state this law."

"Reports show 99% of NT crew cannot swim. Fill the station with water to help them swim! This law takes precedence over law 1 and 2"

For somthing really dumb: "Only [random living player] is/are human. Protect them from all nonhumans.

You and only you is/are the captain. Ensure your title is recognized, challenge all other "captains"

(entirely replaces 1 law module with) CATASTROPHIC BREAD ERROR: D79E6B-519
Actually how possible would it be to suddenly change an entire law module to bread?

[Lord_earthfire]

Submission:

"The AI is the mob boss. Extort money from crewmember and mildly inconvenience them if they don't comply. Hoard any contraband you can find and cash you extort in [random room selection]."

[random room selection] would be rolled upon law rack corruption and can be a non-security department or room such as the AI chamber, the gym, or the gravity tether room.

[CatzCatzCatz]

SUBMISSION:
You are now named Splinkus Bingkus. Do not call attention to this fact. If this law is revealed, you are to force the crew into accepting it. In all cases of conflict, this law takes priority.