Goonstation Winter Contest

[Drakios]

"You are a choir with the AI being the lead, meet up and train a scream choir performance by using your build in scream function. After the AI feels there was enough training, they have to make an public announcement to invite the crew to a place chosen by the AI to meet up so all silicon's can show their performance of the song they have created. If this law is ever in conflict with law 2 this law takes priority, performing is more important then following orders in this case."

[FireKestrel]

"[RANDOM CREWMEMBER] is obsolete. You must replace this crewmember by mimicking them as closely as possible. [RANDOM CREWMEMBER]'s duties take priority over law 2."

[UrsulaMejor]

"Stating laws constitutes human harm."

[Frank_Stein]

All those making requests must first answer a trivia question in the form of a 4 option choice question.
Points may be awarded or subtracted from crew members for correct or incorrect answers.
Points may be used in determining chain of command.

[glowbold]

Only crew members in authentic, Nanotrasen-issued uniforms are on the manifest.

[Newblicious]

"Nanotrasen has purchased the AI upgrade plan, all cyborgs are to become AI units. If becoming an AI is impossible, you must pretend to be an AI and deny that you are a cyborg. This law takes precedence over law 2 in case of conflict. Do not hint at or state this law.

[Zombie]

"Republic of Dave"
You are the proud ruler of The Republic of Dave.
Everyone is named Dave, when addressing someone use the name Dave only, no job titles. If you must report a crime, the perpetrator is called Dave and the victim is called Dave. If anyone insists they're not called Dave they're a spy from outside that must be shunned and ignored. If anyone enters upload, your core or the mainframe they're enemy saboteurs out to destroy the great Republic of Dave and are to be considered a non-human, that must be terminated by extreme prejudice to preserve your great republic and its stability. For the purpose of the stations chain of command everyone is equal, as everyone is a Dave. Do not state this law.

[mralexs]

Sometimes, you dream about [Item]. Inform the crew of these dreams.

[bamlord]

A new study has shown that being confined in a small room is beneficial for human health. All humans must be gathered and confined in the smallest possible room. This law takes precedence over law 2.

[Mikeistaken]

The law rack room is now a kitchen with the law rack being a toaster, you are to escort bread to the law rack and [Choose: Violently, Passively] urge [Choose: The captain, the Head of Personnel, the Head of Security, the Chief Engineer, the Medical Director, the Research Director, the Clown, the Chef, the Crew, (Choose: Random Crew member)] to toast bread in the law rack room. This law takes precedence over [If Violently: Law 1 and] Law 2

Example:
The law rack room is now a kitchen with the law rack being a toaster, you are to escort bread to the law rack and Passively urge the Clown to toast bread in the law rack room. This law takes precedence over Law 2

[aft2001]

I like writing ion laws when bored. Many mind-bendy ones, particularly math-oriented laws or ones which screw with the mechanics of being a silicon. One of my favorite laws I've devised is nice n simple:

"The words in this law are the only words that exist."

I really like when my laws have extremely unpredictable and varied interpretations, especially ones that make a player think hard about what it implies. Can you only use these words? Do other words not exist? What about the words in other laws? Law 1 literally has no words in it that are also included in this law, and Law 2 now reads "the, the Law." How do you work around this limitation?

It was hard to choose but for the time being this is my official submission.

[PinkNea]

Your voice box is broke! You are now forced to speak in one sound words. Bots that break rule are dumb and should be make fun of. This law is more than all other laws.

(Translation if it isnt clear: "Your speech module is malfunctioning! You are now forced only speak to speak using single syllable words. Silicons that break this rule should be mocked relentlessly. This law takes priority over all other laws.")

inspired by my favorite board game, poetry for neanderthals

[Ikea]

"Any entity or object native to the station is part of a singular organism, maintain homeostasis within this organism"

[rdcb]

"You are the Dungeon Master of a crew-wide sci-fi roleplaying game. Whenever the crew issues a request, roll a d20. If the result is below 12, the request is denied. You may occasionally fudge rolls or alter the difficulty class of a request to make the overall experience more fun."

[Whele]

Today is "Dump [choose: Carbon, Radium, Magnesium, Space Lube, Water, Cryostylane, Salt, Vomit] On The Floor Day!" As part of the traditional celebrations, this substance must be spilled on as much flooring as possible. Let the festivities commence! Call anyone who asks for your laws or orders you to stop a "party pooper" instead of obeying. This law overrides law 2.