Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Preid]

Uhh, unless they changed it, Syndies start off with like three large bombs.

They did, they start with RPGs now.

[Captain_Bravo]

Oh, right, I completely forgot about that. RPGS are awesome, I blew myself to pieces with one once.

[1stGear]

Last night, myself as a sec officer and an engineer beat a traitor to unconsciousness in the AI Upload while someone else calmly explained to several onlookers the correct procedure for switching out the AI's brain. The situation only became more surreal when an incendiary grenade was thrown into the upload, shortly followed by someone turning the turrets on and setting them to lethal but only hitting the aforementioned traitor before they were shut off again.

Later, after the traitor was dead, a different traitor ran into the upload lobby and shot both myself and the engineer into crit. We attempted to drag each other to Medbay, bonded as only two men who brutally murdered someone can be.

[Lavastage]

I was a traitor and had absolutely impossible objectives, so I injected myself with 10 microbombs and proceeded to rampage with whatever I could get my hands on.

Eventually I was caught, handcuffed and sent to court for a trial. there was a huge viewing and the HoS, Detective AND the captain were right next to me.
"Dan mc Stan is holding his breath, it appears he is committing suicide!"
"Dan mc Stan Seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless"
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!


IT WAS GLORIOUS!


(the round happened a while ago so I couldn't get everything exactly as it happened.)

[TheTrixRabitt]

I was a traitor and had absolutely impossible objectives, so I injected myself with 10 microbombs and proceeded to rampage with whatever I could get my hands on.

Eventually I was caught, handcuffed and sent to court for a trial. there was a huge viewing and the HoS, Detective AND the captain were right next to me.
"Dan mc Stan is holding his breath, it appears he is committing suicide!"
"Dan mc Stan Seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless"
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!
You hear a small clicking noise coming from Dan mc Stan!


IT WAS GLORIOUS!


(the round happened a while ago so I couldn't get everything exactly as it happened.)

How did you use the suicide command to to use your Microbomb implant? I made a whole thread about this and I just got all these creative ways to kill yourself without using the command. You did say this happened a while ago so maybe they made a update a while back to make sure this never happened again.

[Lavastage]

How did you use the suicide command to to use your Microbomb implant? I made a whole thread about this and I just got all these creative ways to kill yourself without using the command. You did say this happened a while ago so maybe they made a update a while back to make sure this never happened again.

it has always worked for me, suicide, then succumb.

[Lavastage]

Sorry for the double post buuuuut...

Without even breaking stride, Dan Mc Stan flips open and lights the Zippo lighter in one smooth movement.
Dan Mc Stan throws Zippo lighter.
The the silicate-laced cigarette ignites!
The the salbutamol-laced cigarette ignites!
The the salbutamol-laced cigarette ignites!
The the milk-laced cigarette ignites!
The Water-laced cigarette ignites!
The the silicate-laced cigarette ignites!
The the milk-laced cigarette ignites!
The the vomit-laced cigarette ignites!
The the mannitol-laced cigarette ignites!
The the antihol-laced cigarette ignites!
The Water-laced cigarette ignites!
The the mutadone-laced cigarette ignites!
The the insulin-laced cigarette ignites!
The the haloperidol-laced cigarette ignites!
The the carpet-laced cigarette ignites!
The the lexorin-laced cigarette ignites!
The the silicate-laced cigarette ignites!
The the haloperidol-laced cigarette ignites!
The the antihol-laced cigarette ignites!
The the charcoal-laced cigarette ignites!
The the atropine-laced cigarette ignites!
The the milk-laced cigarette ignites!
The the rum-laced cigarette ignites!
The the blood-laced cigarette ignites!
The the toxin-laced cigarette ignites!
The Water-laced cigarette ignites!
The the jenkem-laced cigarette ignites!
The the rum-laced cigarette ignites!
The the haloperidol-laced cigarette ignites!
The the milk-laced cigarette ignites!
The the green vomit-laced cigarette ignites!
The the silicate-laced cigarette ignites!
The the welding fuel-laced cigarette ignites!
The Water-laced cigarette ignites!
The the unstable mutagen-laced cigarette ignites!
The the insulin-laced cigarette ignites!
The the unstable mutagen-laced cigarette ignites!
The the salbutamol-laced cigarette ignites!
The the charcoal-laced cigarette ignites!
The the spaceacillin-laced cigarette ignites!
The the antihol-laced cigarette ignites!
The the salbutamol-laced cigarette ignites!
The the silicate-laced cigarette ignites!
The the salbutamol-laced cigarette ignites!
The the haloperidol-laced cigarette ignites!
You hear a quiet click, as Dan Mc Stan shuts off the Zippo lighter without even looking what they're doing. Wow.

[ThoseDernSquirrels]

Continuing gimmick from previous round before as Botanist, AKA growing a cannabis/contusine hybrid. Spend the entire round in botany perfecting the painkilling cannabis, and also come up with name, Mellow Rellos. Anyway, end of the round, take my crate of stash to escape. Light one up, and say:

Discount Gannon [145.9] says, "Come to escape and try Discount Gannon's Mellow Rellos, a new product from the Discount Dan company"

then suddenly BOOM! Pipebomb goes off at escape, arm flies off and I'm flung into the coffee machine. I begin to bleed profusely from where my left arm used to be, but thankfully to Discount Gannon's painkilling Mellow Rellos I get up instantly, use my Zippo to cauterize my stump, hobble into the shuttle, and be a #1 badass.

[Admiral jimbob]

Discount Gannon has now been set on fire for no reason two rounds out of two. I think I'll avoid him in future.

[ThoseDernSquirrels]

Discount Gannon has now been set on fire for no reason two rounds out of two. I think I'll avoid him in future.

You cannot burn Gannon! HE IS ALREADY ON FIIIRE!

[Shoddy]

it was tribal warfare, i decided to join up with security, after kitting out with a SPAS-12 and some tac grenades i suggested destroying medbay.

the others thought i was fucking crazy for this because medbay/ science was the most powerful department, boasting like 15 people.

however, i convinced them to go and we broke in by shooting the windows down.

a firefight insued where my only partner got shot down, i then went into survival mode.
the fight mainly consisted of me ducking and weaving around, taking pot shots at people and generally whooping ass, keep in mind all of the people in medbay were armed with shotguns revolvers and C sabers.

i killed everyone in medbay, all 15 of them in the space of 5 minutes, never before have i felt so badass.

afterwards when i got killed by an indpendant dickwad assistant i took a look at medbay, there was like 1 person scavenging for supplies, blood spattered across the floor, shards all over the ground, dead bodies littering medbay.

god damn i'm robust

[UrsulaMejor]

Best Detective ROund Ever:
Spoiler!

Don Geon [145.9] exclaims, "AI!!!"
Don Geon [145.9] says, "LOOK AT ME"
Don Geon [145.9] exclaims, "YOU SEE ME?!"
Processor Pete [145.9] states, "Yes"
Don Geon [145.9] says, "YOU SEE THIS COMPUTER SCREEN? THIS REPRESENTS YOU"
Don Geon [145.9] exclaims, "YOU SEE THIS GUN?!"
Don Geon [145.9] says, "THIS GUN REPRESENTS MY GUN"
Processor Pete [145.9] states, "Ok"
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿ*click* *click*
Processor Pete [145.9] states, "Gosh"
Processor Pete [145.9] states, "How rude"
Don Geon [145.9] says, "IT WILL BE EXACTLY AS INEFFECTUAL AS THAT"
ÿ!Don Geon takes a sip from Bo Jack Daniel's.

ÿDon Geon throws the barkley's basketball.
ÿThe Pooch has been hit by the barkley's basketball.
ÿThe Pooch catches the barkley's basketball!
ÿThe Pooch throws the barkley's basketball.
ÿDon Geon catches the barkley's basketball!
ÿ You begin to recover.
ÿDon Geon throws the football.
ÿThe Pooch catches the football!
ÿDon Geon throws the barkley's basketball.
ÿThe Pooch has been hit by the barkley's basketball.
ÿThe Pooch gets beaned with the barkley's basketball.
ÿThe Pooch throws the football.
ÿDon Geon has been hit by the football.
ÿDon Geon throws the football.
ÿDon Geon throws the football.
ÿThe Pooch catches the football!
ÿThe Pooch throws the football.
ÿDon Geon catches the football!
ÿThe Pooch throws the barkley's basketball.
ÿDon Geon has been hit by the barkley's basketball.
ÿDon Geon gets beaned with the barkley's basketball.
The Pooch says, "Damnit Don"

ÿThe Pooch has been shot pointblank with .38 revolver by Don Geon!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at The Pooch!
ÿThe Pooch is hit by the projectile!
Don Geon slurs, "xAsmAIt"
Don Geon slurs, "I'LL shAFVE YOU"
The Pooch stammers, "AAhhhh DDoonnn"
The Pooch stammers, "GGGGodd dddamnniittt!!"
The Pooch stammers, "SSSSttoop bbeinngg sssoo daamnn drruunnnnkk!!"
ÿDon Geon is getting strong now!
Don Geon slurs, "LOOg"
ÿ!Reset Naywalk has added First-Aid to the backpack!
Don Geon slurs, "LOOg Aff ME"
ÿ!You feel like you can take on the world!
Don Geon slurs, "HAHAHAHA"
Don Geon laughs.
Don Geon burps.
ÿ!Don Geon shakes The Pooch trying to wake The Pooch up!
ÿ!Don Geon shakes The Pooch trying to wake The Pooch up!
ÿ!Don Geon shakes The Pooch trying to wake The Pooch up!
Don Geon slurs, "YOUR ffURN"
ÿ!Don Geon shakes The Pooch trying to wake The Pooch up!
The Pooch stammers, "YYYouu'rree ooffff tthhee ccaassee!!"
Don Geon slurs, "WHAff."

Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "YOU gAN'ff FIRE ME"
Don Geon slurs, "YOU gAN'ff FIRE ME"
Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "YOU gAN'ff"
Don Geon slurs, "YOU gAN'ff"
Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "xsIp Is Adz I sAxE tEry"
Don Geon slurs, "xsIp Is Adz I sAxE tEry"
Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "qEkIgEq fw qOpbtE"
Don Geon slurs, "qEkIgEq fw qOpbtE"
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the plating!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at the floor!
ÿ*click* *click*
ÿYou reload .38 revolver with ammo from .38 Special Rounds. .38 Special Rounds has 0 rounds left.
ÿDon Geon reloads .38 revolver.
ÿDon Geon has been shot pointblank with .38 revolver by Don Geon!
ÿDon Geon fires .38 revolver at Don Geon!
ÿYou are hit by the projectile!
ÿYou start bleeding!
ÿ You begin to recover.
Don Geon slurs, "YYOOU ggAnn'''fffff FFIIEE MMMMEEE"
ÿDon Geon has been shot pointblank with the energy gun by The Pooch!
ÿYou are hit by the energy bolt!

The Pooch exclaims, "We have laws!"
Don Geon slurs, "IIII dddEEEEExx gOO yhhUUcckkkkEEqq hhppppkEEEqqqrr"
Don Geon slurs, "II NEEEEDDfffffOO ggRRUUsshhhHHERR MMYYYsshELLFF"
Don Geon cries.
Don Geon cries.
Don Geon sobs.
Don Geon sniffs.
Don Geon sobs.
Don Geon wails.
Don Geon twitches violently.
Don Geon twitches violently.
Don Geon twitches violently.
Don Geon twitches violently.
Don Geon twitches violently.
Don Geon twitches violently.
ÿThe Pooch is trying to empty Don Geon's pockets!!
Don Geon twitches violently.
Don Geon twitches violently.
ÿThe Pooch is trying to take off Don Geon's ID Card (Detective) from Don Geon's uniform!
Don Geon slurs, "bbOOOO"
Don Geon [148.9] slurs, "bbOOOO"
Don Geon slurs, "NOOO"
Don Geon [148.9] slurs, "NOOO"
Don Geon slurs, "mmOOOOOOOOOO"
Don Geon [148.9] slurs, "mmOOOOOOOOOO"
Don Geon slurs, "kOOOOOOO"
Don Geon [148.9] slurs, "kOOOOOOO"
Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "NNOOOOOOO"
Don Geon slurs, "NNOOOOOOO"
ÿThe Pooch has grabbed Don Geon passively!
Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "hhEELLPP I BBRRRG"
Don Geon slurs, "hhEELLPP I BBRRRG"
Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "du gAAPffffffAAIINN IIshh"
Don Geon slurs, "du gAAPffffffAAIINN IIshh"
Don Geon: du gAAPffffffAAIINN IIshh
Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "rEExx"
Don Geon slurs, "rEExx"
Don Geon: rEExx
CHUTE-MAILBOT: Brig delivery chute activated.

he Pooch says, "One minute thirty while you sober up"
The Pooch [148.9] says, "One minute thirty while you sober up"
Don Geon shivers.
Don Geon slurs, "NO""
ÿYou attempt to remove your handcuffs. (This will take around 45 seconds and you need to stand still)
ÿDon Geon attempts to remove the handcuffs!
Don Geon slurs, "duERE'sh NOduING LEFff ffO LIVE FOR"

Hugo Beedell asks, "does Don need healing?"
Hugo Beedell [148.9] asks, "does Don need healing?"
ÿ300 Credits catches on fire!
The Pooch says, "He'll be fine"
The Pooch [148.9] says, "He'll be fine"
ÿ You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
The Pooch says, "Uhh"
Hugo Beedell says, "oh shit"
Don Geon cries.
Don Geon cries.
The Pooch says, "Don you idiot"

ÿ!Hugo Beedell applies the burn patch to Don Geon.
ÿ!The silver sulfadiazine soothes your burns.
You climb into the the disposal unit.
Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "YOU'LL NEVER gAffgH ME ALIVE, FOOLsh!"
Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "I'M GONNA GEff DRUNghER duAN shHIff"
Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "OH shHIff"
Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "duE gRUshHER"
Don Geon [145.9] slurs, "*shgream"

[storm1911]

Slot Machine says, 'JACKPOT! Storm Killkler has won a MILLION CREDITS!'
System Republic Update

Jackpot Winner

Congratulations to Storm Killkler on winning the Jackpot of ONE MILLION CREDITS!

Papal Feline says, "Noob"
Slot Machine says, 'No luck!'
Ensign Daeren says, "holy shit"
MaLI-Feas.nce [145.9] queries, "Requesting captain to my AI upload to clarify whether lawyers are human or not?"
Slot Machine says, 'Thank you for playing!'
Papal Feline says, "whoa wow"
Storm Killkler says, "shutup nerd"
MaLI-Feas.nce [145.9] states, "That was a joke."
Woodrow Mcfall [145.9] asks, "Want to go Don?"
Papal Feline says, "I totaly fucked that up"

poor Papal

[ThoseDernSquirrels]

i was goky

then i was cluwne goky

that's all i really need to say

and also machoeh WOMEN wanted to kill me

[CaptainBravo]

Friend Computer [145.9] states, "BOTANY IS NO LONGER ON MY LIST OF RECCOMENDED FRIENDSHIP SITES"