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Monkeys are way too OP
#1
As a chef, my biggest opponent is a monkey, they are way too powerful. In a fight, they'd last longer if you have no powerful weapon. I hope they get nerfed to limbless monkeys that are easy to kill.
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#2
My best death chem mix is called "monkey killer", inspired by my experience as a chef lol
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#3
To be fair unless its multiple monkeys at once an Air tank makes dealing with them very easy if you then slip in some hits with a knive they are done for.
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#4
A large part in monkeys power is the way their AI is, like they move when they’re downed, they get beneath you and crawl at ungodly speeds. If monkeys were made like other AI’s and didn’t pursue/move at base speed while downed they would be significantly easier
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#5
Until monkeys can eat your face they're too weak IMO.
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#6
dude monkey irl can rip your arms off with ease
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#7
Monkey handling 101. Step 1 remove all knives and other potential weapons between you and the hook. Step 2 set your intent to grapple. Step 3 open the value chimp and vend monkey. Step 4(the hard part) grab them twice as soon as their sprite appears you have about 3 seconds before they start thinking and will fight back. Step 5 hook the monkey by clicking them on the meathook.
Alternatively get yourself a blindfold or blanket and blind them after they emerge, while safer this option is slower.

I am terribly UN-robust and play chef all the time and I can manage to get all the monkeys out of the vendor in short order (probably 4 minutes)all of them can be harvested. There are a couple kitchens that are a nightmare however for harvesting monkeys looking at you cogmap with your unreasonable distance between freezer and valuchimp
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#8
Chef tip by chef Darshin Walls.

step one, find a towel or blanket and rip it up for the rag.
step two, ask bartender for bitter
step three, pour bitters on the rag
step four, choke the monkey using the rag
step five, watch as the monky faints from the bitters and then passes out from the lack of oxygen

Optional step?
dress up the monky in put it in the deep fryer, why? monky decoration.

(the last time I did this the monky doesn't fight back until you choke it, I dont know if its because the monky considers grab intent different from grabbing with a rag.)

Another way you can do this is just force the monkey to drink bitters until it gets too drunk to do anything.

The only downside to this is that you get puke everywhere from the monkey getting drunk, however you can turn it into cheese so it could be a upside.
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#9
Another alternative for chef is to just lock the monkey in the freeze where they will slowly die from the lack of oxygen
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#10
Oh another alternative is to get a katana if you are a traitor chef, bonus you can harvest butts for butt burgers and limbs to deep fry in addition to all the other wonderful meats you can acquire in the traditional ways.
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#11
Monkeys being OP is a feature  it's okay, he'll be up again before you know it
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#12
You get hurt and stunned if you step on glass shards without shoes.

Monkeys don't have shoes.
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#13
There are tricks to handling monkeys, and ways to get a short stun off on them without angering them

You can try taking them on in a slugfest but you’ll end up hurt unless your clever about it
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#14
remove all weapons from the nearby area and just 1v1 them with your fists
they have less stamina than you at max, and will go down easy as long as you just stand still and keep clicking. then you can kick them to crit. this way there is no risk of losing your weapon to the monkey, although if you're comfortable with a weapon you can kill them faster

don't bother trying to dodge or run away during a monkey fight. they ignore move-slow effects and never miss clicks, you have to stand still and just attack them at your max rate

the only thing to watch out for is if the monkey goes for a grab, you gotta tap resist (Z)
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#15
Chefs should get shotguns now. I swear the chimps are actually small gorillas. They can down me even if I grabbed them.
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