[PSA] Don't walk into random portals

[Stivkin]

You don't know what the guy who placed it was in the middle of doing - if you're following someone else and you do a blind jump it is likely going to end poorly for you. Every experienced player can give you a story of how teleportation ended poorly for them, and it's just another one of the many reasons smart spacemen watch where they're going.

That is a lesson that Officer Jack Cromwell learned the hard way. 

1:16:13.082 say Punished Bill says, "Uh oh" Space Shack (151,195,3)
1:16:13.150 emote Jack Cromwell snores.
1:16:13.155 emote Jack Cromwell gasps.
1:16:17.322 emote Jack Cromwell gasps.
1:16:17.897 say Punished Bill says, "Someone's running out of oxygen" Space Shack (151,195,3)

I don't have the actual logs from the rest of the conversation, but since my character was one of the few with a copy of the hand teleporter he essentially said this to him.



Engineers die from their own ingenuity, Miners die from their own impatience, Doctors die to save the lives of others, and Clowns die to finish the punchline.

But out of every occupation, I have most often seen Security die from their own stupidity - call it curiosity if you will. If they're not shooting at Nukies, writing a less than amusing ticket, or validhunting, it's like a certain part of their brain where common sense resides is just... turned off. Sorry, but I can't otherwise explain it. That's why many clowns agree that the boys in blue (and red?) are prime targets for mischief. The jokes practically write themselves with these cartoon characters.

And that's why you'll never EVER see me as Security. Pick a god and thank him for that. Does anyone else have a department that they never see themselves playing as? If so, then why not - and is there anything that you would personally change about them?

[Froggit_Dogget]

idk im kinda experienced, not really, i havent played that much, but i havent had any bad experiences following people into portals.

[Cal]

Bad thread

[Stivkin]

idk im kinda experienced, not really, i havent played that much, but i havent had any bad experiences following people into portals.

If it's a hand teleporter portal, there's a flat chance every time you go through it that you'll end up in space with missing limbs. Or trapped in a wall suffocating to death.

And teleporter destinations aren't always safe to begin with. Like I mentioned, you really have no idea what the atmosphere is like on the other side, if there's hostile critters nearby, or other various hazards.

If you see a portal in a hallway and you don't know where it leads - don't step through it. Especially on main.

---

Bad thread

It's simple advice. And also a proclamation that I'm never going to share a locker room with the station jocks.

Nerds are by far the more sensible and fun to be around, even when they're working for the Syndicate. 

Have you played every single role on the station and enjoyed it just as much as the others? Don't you have a favorite and least favorite role you like to play?

---

Alas, since I can't say a single thing here without an old fogey arriving to contradict me - here are some examples of what I'm talking about. Note that this is all from intentional use:

• DESTINATION: Tech Outpost -> RESULT: In space with a missing arm, 2 Buzzsaw drones and a Phaser drone to keep me company.
  
• DESTINATION: Space Shack -> RESULT: Trapped in a space between the asteroid tiles outside while bleeding heavily. No tools, so I suffocated with no hope of retrieval.
  
• DESTINATION: Cargo -> RESULT: In Cargo Lobby, missing a leg and in line behind 2 Security gunbots that must have been there making supply requests. They requested that I die.
  
• DESTINATION: Cargo -> RESULT: In Cargo, except the tracking beacon had been moved resulting in my appearance on the mass driver. Flew through space for a VERY long time.
  
• DESTINATION: Bridge -> RESULT: In Brig, because it's the second "B" in the list. Attempted to leave and got arrested for hacking the door. Strip-searched and tossed back in there.
  
• DESTINATION: Robotics -> RESULT: Upon teleport, entire department was consumed by a fireball killing several people. Investigation revealed that it had been doused in welding fuel and my teleport somehow set it off. 
  
• DESTINATION: AI Upload Foyer -> RESULT: In the AI core with a missing limb, shot to shit by the turrets immediately and arrested for breaking in. 
  

Now just imagine how much more dangerous it is if you have no idea where you'll end up.

[Stivkin]

That's without mentioning the many deaths and escape failures I've racked up by using other people's portals. One time after a shuttle call there was a portal in escape that lead to a 1x1 room in the debris field surrounded by double-thick reinforced walls. About a dozen people including myself let curiosity get the better of them and got trapped.

We spent the entire ETA and ETD trying to break our way out and find the way back to the station. None of us made it back, save for the clown who spaced himself and somehow ended up at the diner.

[THISISANICEGAME]

Honestly all those situations you cited are pretty funny, now imagine you never walked through those portals, you would have missed out on a good story

[Stivkin]

They were very funny, but a few of them also prematurely ended my shift when I was in the middle of working on other projects. If you weren't expecting to get smited by RN-Jesus, I could see it being pretty frustrating. This isn't a "don't use teleporters" PSA, it's more of a warning that teleporter tech is VERY dangerous and unreliable. Be ready for anything, and expect to lose your character. At worst, you'll die or lose a limb. At best, you'll end up somewhere you have no business being. This is usually a gamble you want to take if you're a traitor (just remember internals.) If you're not, well now you have to explain to the Head of Security what you were doing in the Armory and how you got there before they launch you into space.

Me? I love to roll those dice. But you can't blame anyone but yourself if a portal spits you out somewhere awful. These are but the sacrifices we make for our sins against the laws of nature.

[CaptainBravo]

Per my last message in the other thread, incentive has been provided for Stivkin to stop posting until he's appealed those bans.