Goonstation Monthly Contest: March Edition

[Studenterhue]

Hello and welcome to March!

I'm sure that you all could use some refreshments after all that writing you did for February's contest. Luckily, this month's contest is about designing a new Grones soda! You just need to submit two things:

• The chems that go in it and their amounts. While Grones soda bottles fit 50 units, 20 of those are taken up by cola, so you really have a maximum of 30 units to work with. You can have whatever non-explosive chems you like in whatever amounts, but do be reasonable. Phlogiston for a "Lava Moon Summer Day" bottle would be fine, but QGP or omegazine just because is not.
  
• A name for the soda. It can be as short or as long as you like, though we obviously don't want an entire script or novel. Hopefully it won't be a problem, but it should also follow our rules against bigotry and sexual content.
  

Optionally, while all sodas currently use the same sprite, you can also design a bottle label. Our current sprite for the Grones bottle looks like this:


Here are some examples of current Grones sodas in the game: "Awesome Asbestos Candy Apple" (10 units of lithium), "Cool Keratin Rush" (10 units of hairgrownium), and "Minty Restraining Order Pepper Spray" (10 units of capsaicin).

Submissions will be accepted until March 27th!. That's three weeks from today! Feel free to enter multiple submissions but make it clear which one is eligible for contest voting. Ideally we won't need to use it, but we do reserve the right to disqualify entries if they break contest and/or server rules.

There will be stickers for the top 7 winners, as usual! The winners will also, naturally, have their drinks added to the game, along with the associated sprites if applicable. All participants will get a cool medal, and the contest winners will get an even cooler one that lets you in-game and in OOC. (If you're wondering about the medal Discord role, it is unrelated.)

Good luck!

[TheRealFlapJackson]

"House-Brewed Acidic Agglomeration"


5 units Urine
15 units Lemon Juice
5 units Sulfuric Acid

[Sitoutumaton]

10 units of Chlorine Azide if they do not explode immediately upon creating the bottle.

Name: Beverage Abstinence Special

[Mopcat]

Freshly Brewed Home-Grown War Crime flavor

4u of urine
1u of sarin
10u of napalm
10u of glitter (harmless) (because glitter is a war crime, as we all know)

[genessee]

COLOR me surprised, I've got just the thing - Prismatic Rainbow Punch! (See what I did there? With the 'color' in the beginning? Yeah, I'm comedy)

This drink contains the following reagents;
20 units of cola (duh)
10 units of Glitter (nonharmful version, makes you glitter)
10 units of Colorful Reagent (rainbow juice! makes your blood a random color if drunk, or makes items a random color if splashed)
10 units of Space Drugs (TASTE THE RAINBOW! makes your screen all rainbow-y and colorful, as well as giving you confused movement)

This flavor even has its own special rainbow label! https://imgur.com/a/qccjeJb

[Camryn]

Jammin' Jambalaya Jungle Juice

One unit each of:

1. Strawberry Milk
   
2. Rice Wine
   
3. BOOrbon
   
4. Diesel
   
5. Irish Coffee
   
6. Vanilla
   
7. Jean Harlow
   
8. Espresso Martini
   
9. Ecto Cooler
   
10. Bread
    
11. Sarsaparilla
    
12. Egg Nog
    
13. Chocolate
    
14. Guacamole
    
15. Salt
    
16. Gravy
    
17. Mashed Potatoes
    
18. MSG
    
19. Mugwort
    
20. Cranberry Juice
    
21. Blueberry Juice
    
22. Grapefruit Juice
    
23. Pickle Juice
    
24. Ginger ale
    
25. Worcestershire Sauce
    
26. Cheese Substitute
    
27. Capsaicin
    
28. Urine
    
29. Paper
    
30. Chalk
    

In essence: when you were a kid and poured every single flavor from the soda machine into your cup to make some gross nasty swill that you still drank anyway because you had to prove it was a good idea to your parents

[Rlocks]

Maybe 5 units of Yee, 5 units of chalk, 10 units of sangria, 10 units of capsaicin.
For name, "Lucky Lizard Tonic"
Probably not going to win, but good luck to everyone!

[rando212]

Name
HoS's security special

contents
10u Beepskybräu Security Schwarzbier
10u Capsaicin
5u ling island iced tea
4.9u urine
0.1u CRIME

good luck everyone

[Zamujasa]

grones soda - bargain bill's totally original beverage
20 cola
10 urine
10 vomit
10 compost

just like store-brand knockoff beverages

[Mora]

"Markdown mikes Booberry flavored totally non-toxic soda"

Capulettium 5 units
Ectoplasm 10 units
strawberry/cranberry/blueberry juice 15 units

[IPingu]

Sour Brained artificial pickles
- 20 units of cola
- 10 units of pickle juice
- 15 units of meat slurry
- 5 units of blood (human blood)

''I turned myself into a pickle morty!''

Didnt go for any flashy chems mostly just a cheesy referency to rick and morty.

[Bimbly]

Grones soda: Rapid rushing Rat poison flavor!

20u cola
10u cheese
20u aranesp (gives stamina buffs but also deals tox and oxy damage)

On examine it says something along the lines of: You remember when Grones tried to branch out of soda, guess this stuff just wasnt strong enough for the new line.

I would make a little rat skull and crossbones label for it but ive got no idea how to sprote

Edit: now that im thinking about it 20u of aranesp might be a biiiit much but thats probably fine grones is just manufacturing for some very large rats

[BatElite]

grones soda - bargain bill's totally original beverage
20 cola
10 urine
10 vomit
10 compost

just like store-brand knockoff beverages

That would end up making jenkem, but I like the attention to detail. :P

---

As for my current suggestion:

Grones Soda - Shitter Lemon Terror Parade flavour

7,5u lemon juice*
7,5u bitters*
5u salt
5u toxic slurry
5u crime

Here's a quick recolour label, I don't think there's much I can do while keeping the G intact.



I don't know if crime being a secret chem would be an issue, but if so you could do 7,5u of the 4 other ingredients instead. I like to think that the bitters + slurry would make it require some refinement for serious use anyway. :P

*we don't have a proper bitter lemon chem, so this'll have to do instead. I wanted to make one for a while (+a shitter lemon drink, this is a pun-driven endeavor) but I can always do that if this doesn't win :P

[AGreywolfe]

Addicts heart

-20u Cola
-20u pure love
-10u meth

[MechaDaleEarnhardt]

Name: Bitchin' Cough Syrup Flavor!

5u Very High Fructose Corn Syrup
5u Piss
5u Ketamine
5u Haloperidol
5u Ether
5u Lithium

Guaranteed to lull you into a sleep you might wake up from!