Best moments ever thread 2.0

[atomicthumbs]

i'm the "nyaatorrents: A BitTorrent community focused on Eastern Asian media including anime, manga , music, and more."

[Conor12]

Fish Fingers's right leg kicks them in the head somehow!
Fish Fingers seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...

I laughed so bad.

[Dachshundofdoom]

Today a successful human-AI brainswap was performed, with both participants surviving the procedure after a quick trip to genetics for the human body. Surely this heralds a new age of synthetic-organic relations.

The fact that the AI was rogue at the time and Leo Hastings in its body was forced to kill himself before the end, while I, the original AI, gloated over my new, superior human form probably won't help said relations, but it was pretty hilarious.

[FishDan]

Fish Fingers's right leg kicks them in the head somehow!
Fish Fingers seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...

I laughed so bad.

I had been shot by a traitor with a pistol, and was crawling back to medical with donor legs after my first ones were forcefully removed. I was at the door, in crit, and then this happened. Needless to say I just decided that I was done, and figured it would be best to end life on a good note.

[Kaet]

It was an amazing round.

[Hard Boiled]

Taking bribes of 500 in cash and making them write a poem. Sham Poo wrote this, before killing me twice...

Code:

A poem for the hardest boiled.

a winter breeze, a winter egg
boy do i wish i could find something that rhymed with Hard Boiled

This paper has been stamped with the rubber stamp.

And Hannah tried to write another, but got PDA bombed and penned before I could gave upon the text...

[Weavel]

I was selling makeshift Heroin and Speedballs in the Market when one of my customers ran up to me, shoved a TV in front of me, and said "it fell off the back of a truck"

he got his heroin, I got a mostly dismantled Sec TV. Fuckin' addicts man.

[Conor12]

Round start, Damian Garneys and I rush for the artifact lab. He gets there first, picks up an artifact and shoots himself in the face when testing it.

This happened twice in a row. Unlucky.

[Dachshundofdoom]

Code:

the martian maen aggressively grabs Bill Disposa!
the martian maen grabs Bill Disposa and spins in the air!
the martian maen atomic piledrives Bill Disposa!
the martian maen aggressively grabs Bill Disposa!
the martian maen grabs Bill Disposa and spins in the air!
the martian maen atomic piledrives Bill Disposa!

Kick Puncher blinds Bill Disposa with the flash!
the martian maen aggressively grabs Kick Puncher!
Bill Disposa seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
the martian maen picks up Kick Puncher by the throat!
Shambling Abomination states, "How can one human survive so many piledrives"
the martian maen begins intensely staring Kick Puncher in the eyes!
Kick Puncher starts violently convulsing!
martian maen says, "DO NOT INTERRUPT"
The martian maen mutters to himself.
Kick Puncher instantly vaporizes into a cloud of blood!
Kick Puncher instantly vaporizes into a cloud of blood!
Kick Puncher instantly vaporizes into a cloud of blood!
Kick Puncher instantly vaporizes into a cloud of blood!
Kick Puncher instantly vaporizes into a cloud of blood!
Kick Puncher instantly vaporizes into a cloud of blood!
Kick Puncher instantly vaporizes into a cloud of blood!
the martian maen yells out a battle cry!

The martian maen mutters to himself.
The martian maen mutters to himself.
the martian maen aggressively grabs Bill Disposa!
the martian maen grabs Bill Disposa and spins in the air!
the martian maen atomic piledrives Bill Disposa!
The martian maen mutters to himself.
the martian maen aggressively grabs Bill Disposa!
the martian maen grabs Bill Disposa and spins in the air!

DEAD: Bill Disposa says, "oh shit he's still doing it"

the martian maen atomic piledrives Bill Disposa!
the martian maen aggressively grabs Bill Disposa!
the martian maen grabs Bill Disposa and spins in the air!
the martian maen atomic piledrives Bill Disposa!

the martian maen clotheslines Shambling Abomination into oblivion!

DEAD: Ghost (Zeke Maxwell) laments, "I hope he never stops"
the martian maen aggressively grabs Bill Disposa!
the martian maen grabs Bill Disposa and spins in the air!
DEAD: Ghost (Kick Puncher) wails, "I thought for sure I could flash him"
the martian maen atomic piledrives Bill Disposa!
the martian maen aggressively grabs Bill Disposa!

DEAD: Bill Disposa says, "me neither."

the martian maen atomic piledrives Bill Disposa!
the martian maen aggressively grabs Bill Disposa!
the martian maen grabs Bill Disposa and spins in the air!

Baltimore Jones defiles the station's air supply.

the martian maen atomic piledrives Bill Disposa!

I cut out the irrelevant bits for the sake of readability.

He piledrived Bill even more than this shows.

[MaRcuSTheDAWG]

That would look awesome in my head

[PlainInsane]

Valterak Balmue stabs Suzan Zadovsky with the proboscis!
Suzan Zadovsky's left arm flies off in a bloody arc!

[TheRedScare]

I became Shrek by beating Roland in a fight. Technically a pipe bomb blew him up and I walked off flexing.
Spoiler!

Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Jamar Jones mumbles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK mutters to himself.
Smokey Dogg cracks his knuckles.
Smokey Dogg snaps his fingers.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK flexes his muscles.
Eric Mignon [145.9] says, "You're a piggy, Kiki."
Smokey Dogg snaps his fingers.
Kevin Kevinson exclaims, "No cheating, No admin powers, No guns!"
Smokey Dogg snaps his fingers.
Smokey Dogg [145.9] says, "Come see the fight"
Smokey Dogg says, "Come see the fight"
Jamar Jones throws .38 revolver.
Henry Foster says, "Woah."
Kiki Kolana [145.9] says, "Yes. Yes I am"
Smokey Dogg snaps his fingers.
Rube Dreck Potter says, "HERE IS THE REF"
Supreme Galactic Imperium Update

Enemy communication intercept. Security Level Elevated.

Summary downloaded and printed out at all communications consoles.

Smokey Dogg snaps his fingers.
Jamar Jones burps.
Smokey Dogg snaps his fingers.
Jamar Jones slurs, "bbbrriinnnngg iiifff oonn"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK says, "TOO LATE FOR THAT BROTHER"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK parries Walter Poehl's attack, knocking them to the ground!
Smokey Dogg snaps his fingers.
Strelok M.O. has added the handcuffs to Box!
Jamar Jones hiccups.
Smokey Dogg snaps his fingers.
The soda machine beeps, "Decirprevo. The sophisticate's bottled water."
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK mutters to himself.
Henry Foster says, "Scrubfest."
Rube Dreck Potter has grabbed Brycen Butte passively!
ButtNET [145.9] states, "Godwin Mull has signed up as Staff Assistant."
Jamar Jones fires .38 revolver at the floor!
Brycen Butte is hit by the projectile!
Walter Poehl says, "oh no"
Strelok M.O. has added the handcuffs to Box!
Rube Dreck Potter has grabbed Brycen Butte aggressively (now hands)!
Kevin Kevinson exclaims, "You may fight at the sound of the bell!"
Rube Dreck Potter puts Brycen Butte on the reinforced table.
Jamar Jones burps.
Walter Poehl says, "SHREK IS MAD"
Walter Poehl screams!
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Jamar Jones hiccups.
Rube Dreck Potter says, "Brycen is the ref"
Jamar Jones hiccups.
Jamar Jones hiccups.
Kevin Kevinson exclaims, "DING DING!!!!"
Rube Dreck Potter farts in Walter Poehl's face!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK mutters to himself.
Strelok M.O. says, "Walter I can't believe you angered Shrek"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK mutters to himself.
Jamar Jones throws Optical Thermal Scanner.
Rube Dreck Potter has been hit by Optical Thermal Scanner.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK says, "BRING IT LITTLE MAN"
Smokey Dogg screams!
Jamar Jones attempts to attack SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK parries Jamar Jones's attack, knocking them to the ground!
Strelok M.O. says, "This is so you"
Jamar Jones hiccups.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK swings at Jamar Jones!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK kicks Jamar Jones!
Walter Poehl throws 350 Credits.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has been hit by 350 Credits.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK swings at Jamar Jones!
You look closely at SHREK IS MAD AS HECK.
*---------*
This is SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK is wearing a Wrestling Pants.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has a tiger stripe vest on.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has a Radio Headset by his mouth.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has a Macho Man Doo-Rag on his head.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has a Championship Belt on his belt.
*---------*
Walter Poehl throws PDA-Walter Poehl.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has been hit by PDA-Walter Poehl.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK kicks Jamar Jones!
Henry Foster throws the fork.
Walter Poehl throws Orange Shoes.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has been hit by Orange Shoes.
Jamar Jones slurs, "quuiifffff dddduuaaaffff"
Kevin Kevinson exclaims, "GENTLE MEN YOU MAY FIGHT NOW!"
Rube Dreck Potter throws 1 Credit.
Virgil Watson says, "Get out of here, Macho Man."
Jamar Jones hiccups.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has been hit by 1 Credit.
Walter Poehl says, "SHREK"
Henry Foster says, "Man, Get this shit started."
Walter Poehl says, "1V1 ME"
Walter Poehl says, "FINAL DESTINATION"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into Boxing Ropes!
Rube Dreck Potter throws 1 Credit.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has been hit by 1 Credit.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into Boxing Ropes!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Rube Dreck Potter into oblivion!
Walter Poehl has been hit by Rube Dreck Potter.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK mutters to himself.
Jamar Jones mumbles.
Jamar Jones burps.
Jamar Jones burps.
ButtNET [145.9] states, "Yahir Vanleer has signed up as Security Officer."
Kingseptim earned the Fish medal.
Walter Poehl throws Engineer Headset.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has been hit by Engineer Headset.
Rube Dreck Potter says, "Oww"
Rube Dreck Potter [145.9] says, "Oww"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK aggressively grabs Smokey Dogg!
Smokey Dogg release an audible discharge of intestinal gas.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crushes Smokey Dogg's skull like a grape!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK lets out an angry warcry!
Jamar Jones burps.
Jamar Jones hiccups.
Walter Poehl throws 1 Credit.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has been hit by 1 Credit.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK swings at Rube Dreck Potter!
Strelok M.O. says, "Geez"
Strelok M.O. [145.9] says, "Geez"
Walter Poehl punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Jamar Jones fires .38 revolver at the floor!
Jamar Jones tries to fire .38 revolver at SHREK IS MAD AS HECK pointblank, but it was empty!
Walter Poehl punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] exclaims, "CHRECK IS CREAMING EVERYONE IN THE RING!"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] exclaims, "CHRECK IS CREAMING EVERYONE IN THE RING!"
Jamar Jones burps.
Rube Dreck Potter says, "HIT HIM"
Rube Dreck Potter [145.9] says, "HIT HIM"
The soda machine beeps, "Grife-O - the soda of a space generation!"
Smokey Dogg [145.9] gibbers, "Get the fuck outa my swamp!"
Smokey Dogg gibbers, "Get the fuck outa my swamp!"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into Boxing Ropes!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into Boxing Ropes!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Smokey Dogg into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into Boxing Ropes!
Walter Poehl has been hit by Smokey Dogg.
Henry Foster exclaims, "Booo, Cheating!"
Henry Foster [145.9] exclaims, "Booo, Cheating!"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into Boxing Ropes!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Walter Poehl into oblivion!
Rube Dreck Potter throws Boxing Gloves.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has been hit by Boxing Gloves.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK mutters to himself.
Smokey Dogg pees themselves a little bit.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Rube Dreck Potter into oblivion!
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] exclaims, "THEY DON'T EVEN STAND A CHANCE!"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] exclaims, "THEY DON'T EVEN STAND A CHANCE!"
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
You begin to recover.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK says, "OH YEAHHHH"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK [145.9] says, "OH YEAHHHH"
Henry Foster says, "I DEMAND A BETTER FIGHT."
Henry Foster [145.9] says, "I DEMAND A BETTER FIGHT."
ButtNET [145.9] states, "Simon Hendrix has signed up as Engineer."
Virgil Watson exclaims, "Macho man is cheating!"
Virgil Watson [145.9] exclaims, "Macho man is cheating!"
Smokey Dogg tries to disarm SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Smokey Dogg tries to disarm SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Smokey Dogg tries to disarm SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Jamar Jones hiccups.
Smokey Dogg tries to disarm SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches Smokey Dogg!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK knocks down Smokey Dogg!
Unusable emote 'fart--ARGH'. Say *help for a list.
Rube Dreck Potter says, "SHRECK STOLE ONE OF MY SHOES"
Rube Dreck Potter [145.9] says, "SHRECK STOLE ONE OF MY SHOES"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
Jamar Jones hiccups.
Jamar Jones pukes all over himself.
Walter Poehl punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Henry Foster throws 30 Credits.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK kicks Smokey Dogg!
Walter Poehl punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Walter Poehl punches Walter Poehl!
Walter Poehl knocks out Walter Poehl!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK kicks Smokey Dogg!
Jamar Jones fires .38 revolver at the floor!
Strelok M.O. is trying to take off Wrestling Pants from SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's body!
Jamar Jones fires .38 revolver at the floor!
You begin to recover.
Walter Poehl says, "Damn"
Walter Poehl [145.9] says, "Damn"
Jamar Jones fires .38 revolver at the floor!
Strelok M.O. is trying to take off the Championship Belt from SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's belt!
Henry Foster throws 20 Credits.
Henry Foster has been hit by 20 Credits.
Jamar Jones fires .38 revolver at the floor!
Jamar Jones fires .38 revolver at the floor!
Jamar Jones grumbles.
Jamar Jones slurs, "sssffffOOPP dddduuuIIIsshh MDDNEEsshhhsshh"
Jamar Jones [145.9] slurs, "sssffffOOPP dddduuuIIIsshh MDDNEEsshhhsshh"
Rube Dreck Potter punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Walter Poehl says, "My fists are too powerful"
Walter Poehl [145.9] says, "My fists are too powerful"
Jamar Jones fires .38 revolver at the floor!
Rube Dreck Potter punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Jamar Jones fires .38 revolver at the floor!
Jamar Jones burps.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into Boxing Ropes!
David Ryder has been hit by Boxing Ropes.
Jamar Jones fires .38 revolver at the floor!
Walter Poehl says, "I knocked myself out"
Walter Poehl [145.9] says, "I knocked myself out"
Henry Foster throws 20 Credits.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into Boxing Ropes!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Jamar Jones into oblivion!
Kevin Kevinson exclaims, "Round 2 Shreck still killing!"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] exclaims, "Round 2 Shreck still killing!"
Jamar Jones slurs, "II''''mm llonneelllyy.. AAAAnnnddd I''mmm lloonneellllyy inn shhoomee horrrriibbbblyy ddeeeeepp wayy annd ffoor aa ffllaassshh ooff an isshhfffffffaantthhff,,, I ggnn shheeeeee juusshhfff hooww lonneellly,,,, annnd hoow eeepp dduiisshh ffeeeellliinngg rruunnshhhh.. AAAAnndd iiffff sshhggaaaarreeessshh ddee shhhiiifffff ouuffff of mmee ffffffoo bbbbee dddduuiisshhh loonnnllyy bbbeeggaaauusshhee iiiffff sssshhhheeemmsshh ggaaafffaashhhhffffrrrooooppphiig."
Jamar Jones [145.9] slurs, "II''''mm llonneelllyy.. AAAAnnnddd I''mmm lloonneellllyy inn shhoomee horrrriibbbblyy ddeeeeepp wayy annd ffoor aa ffllaassshh ooff an isshhfffffffaantthhff,,, I ggnn shheeeeee juusshhfff hooww lonneellly,,,, annnd hoow eeepp dduiisshh ffeeeellliinngg rruunnshhhh.. AAAAnndd iiffff sshhggaaaarreeessshh ddee shhhiiifffff ouuffff of mmee ffffffoo bbbbee dddduuiisshhh loonnnllyy bbbeeggaaauusshhee iiiffff sssshhhheeemmsshh ggaaafffaashhhhffffrrrooooppphiig."
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK aggressively grabs Jamar Jones!
Henry Foster shakes Rube Dreck Potter trying to wake Rube Dreck Potter up!
Rube Dreck Potter swings at SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Jamar Jones grumbles.
Rube Dreck Potter punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crushes Jamar Jones's skull like a grape!
Rube Dreck Potter punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Smokey Dogg tries to disarm SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Smokey Dogg into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK lets out an angry warcry!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Smokey Dogg into oblivion!
Kevin Kevinson exclaims, "!"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] exclaims, "!"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Smokey Dogg into oblivion!
Virgil Watson has been hit by Smokey Dogg.
Kevin Kevinson says, "2"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] says, "2"
Kevin Kevinson says, "4"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] says, "4"
Kevin Kevinson says, "5"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] says, "5"
Smokey Dogg sharts! That's just nasty.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Rube Dreck Potter into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Rube Dreck Potter into oblivion!
Henry Foster exclaims, "ACTUAL WRESTLING AND NOT GIRLY SLAP FIGHTS! YAY!"
Henry Foster [145.9] exclaims, "ACTUAL WRESTLING AND NOT GIRLY SLAP FIGHTS! YAY!"
Kevin Kevinson says, "6"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] says, "6"
Jamar Jones claps.
Kevin Kevinson says, "7"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] says, "7"
Virgil Watson punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Smokey Dogg gibbers, "COME AT ME!"
Smokey Dogg [145.9] gibbers, "COME AT ME!"
Kevin Kevinson says, "8"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] says, "8"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Henry Foster into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Virgil Watson into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into Boxing Ropes!
Kevin Kevinson says, "9"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] says, "9"
Smokey Dogg [145.9] gibbers, "COME ON U NERD!!!"
Smokey Dogg gibbers, "COME ON U NERD!!!"
Kevin Kevinson says, "10"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] says, "10"
Jamar Jones burps.
Jamar Jones drools.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK shivers.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK aggressively grabs Virgil Watson!
Walter Poehl punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
You begin to recover.
Henry Foster says, "Oh hell no, you did not just punch me."
Henry Foster [145.9] says, "Oh hell no, you did not just punch me."
Walter Poehl punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crushes Virgil Watson's ribcage open like a bag of chips!
Walter Poehl punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK mutters to himself.
Smokey Dogg farts like a pubby!
Virgil Watson seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
Jamar Jones hiccups.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK lets out an angry warcry!
Smokey Dogg giggles.
Jamar Jones mumbles.
David Ryder sadly can't find anybody to give daps to, and daps himself. Shameful.
Smokey Dogg drools.
Walter Poehl swings at SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Smokey Dogg tries to disarm SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Smokey Dogg tries to disarm SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Walter Poehl punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Walter Poehl knocks out SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
David Ryder gives daps to SHREK IS MAD AS HECK.
Smokey Dogg pushes down SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Strelok M.O. stammers, "HHee's nnuudeee!"
Strelok M.O. [145.9] stammers, "HHee's nnuudeee!"
Rube Dreck Potter punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Smokey Dogg pees themselves a little bit.
Rube Dreck Potter punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Jamar Jones claps.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Smokey Dogg into oblivion!
Virgil Watson has been hit by Smokey Dogg.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Smokey Dogg into oblivion!
Virgil Watson has been hit by Smokey Dogg.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines David Ryder into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK forcefully kicks open Glass Airlock!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK forcefully kicks Glass Airlock!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into Boxing Ropes!
ButtNET has been hit by Boxing Ropes.
Jamar Jones hiccups.
Henry Foster is trying to take off the Yellow Shades from SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's eyes!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
Jamar Jones grumbles.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK goes pale for a second.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
Rube Dreck Potter punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Jamar Jones burps.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
Rube Dreck Potter swings at SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
Henry Foster is trying to take off a tiger stripe vest from SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's body!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
Henry Foster is trying to take off the Wrestling boots from SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's feet!
You begin to recover.
Henry Foster is trying to take off the Macho Man Doo-Rag from SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's head!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
Henry Foster is trying to take off the Radio Headset from SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's ears!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
Rube Dreck Potter punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Henry Foster is trying to take off the Yellow Shades from SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's eyes!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
Rube Dreck Potter swings at SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
ButtNET states, "This violence is unaceptable"
ButtNET [145.9] states, "This violence is unaceptable"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Rube Dreck Potter into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Rube Dreck Potter into oblivion!
Henry Foster is trying to take off the Wrestling boots from SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's feet!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Rube Dreck Potter into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Rube Dreck Potter into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
Hank Hill pets the something weird!
For some reason! Not like that's weird or anything!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Rube Dreck Potter into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
Hank Hill pets the something weird!
For some reason! Not like that's weird or anything!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Henry Foster into oblivion!
Walter Poehl has been hit by Henry Foster.
Old Man [145.9] says, "say *scream"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Henry Foster into oblivion!
Walter Poehl has been hit by Henry Foster.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK aggressively grabs Rube Dreck Potter!
Kevin Kevinson exclaims, "SHRECK IS JUST LOST BY STAYING OUT OF THE RIND TOO LONG! ROUND 3 COMING SOON!"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] exclaims, "SHRECK IS JUST LOST BY STAYING OUT OF THE RIND TOO LONG! ROUND 3 COMING SOON!"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK grabs Rube Dreck Potter and spins in the air!
John Johnson kicks Walter Poehl!
Old Man screams!
ButtNET states, "we must solve our differences via sing along"
ButtNET [145.9] states, "we must solve our differences via sing along"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK atomic piledrives Rube Dreck Potter!
ButtNET [145.9] states, "Zander Martin has signed up as Engineer."
Strelok M.O. has added the emergency oxygentank to the backpack!
John Johnson kicks Henry Foster!
the something weird feels SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's neck!
Walter Poehl has grabbed SHREK IS MAD AS HECK passively!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
David Ryder says, "guys stop he's only gonna get more angry"
David Ryder [145.9] says, "guys stop he's only gonna get more angry"
John Johnson punches Virgil Watson!
John Johnson knocks out Virgil Watson!
Walter Poehl has been hit by the something weird.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Strelok M.O. into oblivion!
Jamar Jones burps.
Jamar Jones hiccups.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Walter Poehl into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Walter Poehl into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK goes pale for a second.
ButtNET [145.9] states, "Melaina Draay has signed up as Engineer."
Smokey Dogg has grabbed SHREK IS MAD AS HECK passively!
Trey White [145.9] says, "AI open"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Smokey Dogg into oblivion!
John Johnson kicks Virgil Watson!
Strelok M.O. [145.9] says, "I got it"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines John Johnson into oblivion!
Rube Dreck Potter seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
Jamar Jones hiccups.
ButtNET [145.9] states, "Lane Losey has signed up as Botanist."
Walter Poehl says, "SHREK"
Walter Poehl [145.9] says, "SHREK"
Smokey Dogg farts in Rube Dreck Potter's face!
Henry Foster says, "This vest is awesome."
Henry Foster [145.9] says, "This vest is awesome."
Old Man screams!
Strelok M.O. [145.9] says, "I have the CHAMPIONSHIP BELT"
Walter Poehl says, "I KNOCKED YOU DOWN"
Walter Poehl [145.9] says, "I KNOCKED YOU DOWN"
Kevin Kevinson says, "Something weird is in the ring"
Henry Foster exclaims, "Hey, give me that!"
Smokey Dogg [145.9] gibbers, "LETS KEEP GOING!"
Smokey Dogg gibbers, "LETS KEEP GOING!"
Smokey Dogg gibbers, "COME ON!!!"
Walter Poehl says, "I WIN"
Walter Poehl screams!
John Johnson exclaims, "RAAAARGH! MORTAL STRIKE!"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] says, "Something weird is in the ring"
Henry Foster [145.9] exclaims, "Hey, give me that!"
Smokey Dogg [145.9] gibbers, "COME ON!!!"
Walter Poehl [145.9] says, "I WIN"
John Johnson [145.9] exclaims, "RAAAARGH! MORTAL STRIKE!"
Smokey Dogg drools.
the something weird gently prods SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's right arm!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK goes pale for a second.
Rube Dreck Potter drools.
Rube Dreck Potter seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
David Ryder throws 50 Credits.
Virgil Watson [145.9] says, "Rube died as he lived, a dumb nerd."
Kevin Kevinson exclaims, "AND IT IS KICKING ASS!"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] exclaims, "AND IT IS KICKING ASS!"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
Smokey Dogg has grabbed SHREK IS MAD AS HECK passively!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
Smokey Dogg has grabbed SHREK IS MAD AS HECK passively!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
Jamar Jones burps.
Smokey Dogg has grabbed SHREK IS MAD AS HECK aggressively (now hands)!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK punches the something weird!
Smokey Dogg has reinforced his grip on SHREK IS MAD AS HECK (now neck)!
Smokey Dogg has temporarily tightened his grip on SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Smokey Dogg has tightened his grip on SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's neck!
Walter Poehl has grabbed SHREK IS MAD AS HECK passively!
Jamar Jones burps.
Walter Poehl has failed to grab SHREK IS MAD AS HECK aggressively!
John Johnson exclaims, "I'M GETTIN' MAD AS HECK OVER HERE!!!"
John Johnson [145.9] exclaims, "I'M GETTIN' MAD AS HECK OVER HERE!!!"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK says, "THE MADNESS"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK [145.9] says, "THE MADNESS"
Smokey Dogg puts SHREK IS MAD AS HECK on the reinforced table.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
David Ryder has been hit by the reinforced table.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
David Ryder has been hit by the reinforced table.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
Smokey Dogg has been hit by the reinforced table.
Virgil Watson has grabbed SHREK IS MAD AS HECK passively!
Kevin Kevinson exclaims, "SHRECK IS STILL WINNING THIS ROUD!"
Kevin Kevinson [145.9] exclaims, "SHRECK IS STILL WINNING THIS ROUD!"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
Smokey Dogg has been hit by the reinforced table.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK mutters to himself.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
Smokey Dogg has been hit by the reinforced table.
Boxing Gloves has been hit by Virgil Watson with the grab
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
Smokey Dogg has been hit by the reinforced table.
Smokey Dogg [145.9] gibbers, "; TABLED!!!"
Smokey Dogg gibbers, "; TABLED!!!"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the reinforced table!
Smokey Dogg has been hit by the reinforced table.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK mutters to himself.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Strelok M.O. into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
Kevin Kevinson stacks some cash.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Virgil Watson into oblivion!
Walter Poehl has been hit by Virgil Watson.
John Johnson punches Virgil Watson!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Virgil Watson into oblivion!
John Johnson has been hit by Virgil Watson.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK gasps.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Walter Poehl into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
John Johnson punches Walter Poehl!
Smokey Dogg has grabbed John Johnson passively!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
Jamar Jones burps.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Smokey Dogg into oblivion!
John Johnson has been hit by Smokey Dogg.
John Johnson punches John Johnson!
John Johnson kicks Walter Poehl!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK aggressively grabs John Johnson!
Kevin Kevinson stacks some cash.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK grabs John Johnson and spins in the air!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK atomic piledrives John Johnson!
the something weird pokes SHREK IS MAD AS HECK's head!
John Johnson exclaims, "THAT'S THE STUFF!!"
John Johnson [145.9] exclaims, "THAT'S THE STUFF!!"
Kevin Kevinson stacks some cash.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
ButtNET states, "Oh no"
ButtNET [145.9] states, "Oh no"
Henry Foster punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
John Johnson punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK aggressively grabs Walter Poehl!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crushes Walter Poehl's ribcage open like a bag of chips!
Walter Poehl seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
Jamar Jones burps.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK lets out an angry warcry!
Smokey Dogg drools.
You begin to recover.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK aggressively grabs Kevin Kevinson!
Smokey Dogg [145.9] gibbers, "COME ON!!!!!!!!"
Smokey Dogg gibbers, "COME ON!!!!!!!!"
Old Man screams!
Henry Foster punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
John Johnson punches Henry Foster!
Jamar Jones hiccups.
Jamar Jones pees themselves a little bit.
Virgil Watson tries to disarm SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
John Johnson swings at Henry Foster!
Virgil Watson tries to disarm SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
Henry Foster punches Virgil Watson!
Smokey Dogg drools.
Jamar Jones drools.
Henry Foster kicks Walter Poehl!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into Boxing Ropes!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines John Johnson into oblivion!
ButtNET [145.9] states, "Frank Fiscina has signed up as Botanist."
The soda machine beeps, "Everyone can see Orange-Aid is best!"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Henry Foster into oblivion!
Virgil Watson has been hit by Henry Foster.
John Johnson exclaims, "STIMS BABY!!!"
John Johnson [145.9] exclaims, "STIMS BABY!!!"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
Smokey Dogg breaks wind!
John Johnson punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
Smokey Dogg has grabbed SHREK IS MAD AS HECK passively!
Trey White [145.9] says, "AI open"
Smokey Dogg farts cantankerously.
Jamar Jones lets out a girly little 'toot' from his butt.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has been smashed against the floor by Smokey Dogg!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into the something weird!
Henry Foster raises both of his middle fingers.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Virgil Watson into oblivion!
Jamar Jones gibbers, "sshhmooggeeyy DDogggg mmaaaaddee aa ffaaaarrffff!!!!!!"
Jamar Jones gibbers, "iii aaaadde aaaa ffaarrff!!!!"
Jamar Jones [145.9] gibbers, "sshhmooggeeyy DDogggg mmaaaaddee aa ffaaaarrffff!!!!!!"
Jamar Jones [145.9] gibbers, "iii aaaadde aaaa ffaarrff!!!!"
John Johnson punches SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
John Johnson knocks out SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Virgil Watson into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines Smokey Dogg into oblivion!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK has been hit by Smokey Dogg.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK crashes into Boxing Ropes!
the window was hit by Boxing Ropes.
Jamar Jones hiccups.
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines John Johnson into oblivion!
Smokey Dogg farts! It sounds wet and smells like rotten eggs.
This is a floor.

Kevin Kevinson [145.9] exclaims, "r SHRECK LOSES ROUND 3 FOR HITTING THE REFF!"
John Johnson exclaims, "MORTAL STRIKE!!!"
John Johnson [145.9] exclaims, "MORTAL STRIKE!!!"
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK clotheslines John Johnson into oblivion!
This is a floor.

You look closely at SHREK IS MAD AS HECK.
the pipe bomb explodes!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK yells out a battle cry!
You are struck by shrapnel!
Rube Dreck Potter screams!
*---------*
This is SHREK IS MAD AS HECK!
SHREK IS MAD AS HECK is limp and unresponsive, a dull lifeless look in his eyes.
*---------*
You start bleeding!
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
Virgil Watson shivers.
Jamar Jones pukes all over himself.
350 Credits catches on fire!
the athletic shorts catches on fire!
398 Credits catches on fire!
Kevin Kevinson's left arm flies off in a bloody arc!
the athletic shorts catches on fire!
the athletic shorts catches on fire!
the athletic shorts catches on fire!
Jamar Jones's left arm flies off in a bloody arc!
Henry Foster's left arm flies off in a bloody arc!
Laborer's Overalls catches on fire!
Strelok M.O.'s right arm flies off in a bloody arc!
Jamar Jones shivers.
You feel numb!
You feel sweaty!
Jamar Jones faints.
Strelok M.O. points to Strelok M.O.'s Right Arm
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.
Smokey Dogg flexes his muscles.

[APARTHEID]

I TRIED to out-shrek Shrek with a stimpack and a pipe bomb, but the bastard changed my cursor INTO Shrek.

[spectralexplorer]

I was an assistant during an extended round, and I was getting myself set up in the barbershop. Cogwerks had been making random people traitors in charge of making somewhat illegal business (two sec officers ran protection/weapon smuggling rackets, one engineer had to weaponize the engine, etc.) After adminhelping over if it'd be OK to cut guy's arms off if they couldn't pay for the haircut, I was made into a traitor with the objective "Become a literal arms dealer."

I went to work hiring some goons; Kevin Kevinson, the owner of a failed boxing club who asked for way too much money, and Discount Dan, who tragically died a few minutes later playing Russian roulette. I also made friends with a lawyer, Izahiah Murry, who helped save our lives later in the day, and Hank Hill, an arms smuggling sec officer who also brought us Bort Slater, a savage cave man who trapped people in ice cubes and brought them in for haircuts.

With a full team, I was ready for business. At 500 credits a cut, my haircuts were premium, but it was well worth it. Customers would roll in, I would buckle them down to the barber chair, swipe their ID to find out if they could pay the full fee, and if they couldn't, I had Kevin knock them unconscious so I could cut off their arms. After a public arms-chopping, our business was starting to attract attention from the popo.

Devin Jowers, another crooked cop running a protection racket came by and asked to talk business. He wanted big muscle for a deal he was working on, and while I left to take a guy who just lost his arms but was still alive down to Medbay, Izahiah, Kevin, Hank and Devin kept talking. I come back to taser shots, and find Kevin and Devin stunning and cuffing Izahiah and Hank. Before I can grab my baton, Devin tases me and cuffs me to my chair.

Bort runs back in with another ice cube customer, and we start screaming for help. He sacrifices himself trying to attack Devin, and doing so + Devin's rant about us not surviving his "stand up" (it's a stick up) gives all three of us enough time to uncuff ourselves, stun the guys with our weapons, and put them on my operating tables. Devin screams about us being small time and that he was going to own the station before we knock him unconscious and I cut off his limbs. Kevin, who kept waking up, keeps me from finishing his surgery for a while, yelling that he'll give us his bank number and tries to stop us from killing him. I swipe his ID card into the credit transferer, and find only 450.

Not enough for a haircut.

I cut off his arms and legs, and while Hank and Izahiah cheer that the forces of good won again, I let one guy was stuck to the table in the back room go, as well as someone who was trapped in one of Bort's ice cubes. I stuff a crate full of the arms I had cut during the day, left Devin and Kevin's corpses on the front tables as a reminder of our heroics, and headed over to the shuttle, yelling about my fresh arms for sale. Me and I think Hank ended up being the only traitors to survive and make it on the shuttle.

also throughout the whole thing with Kevin and Devin dotty the cyborg said they were a poop face non-stop

[Readster]

Was just given Matter Eater by genetics and decide to see what would happen if I ate a live bomb.

Activate bomb timer.
Suddenly attacked by a traitor high on stims.
Quickly try to eat bomb.
Bash self in face with bomb.
Bomb falls on the ground.
Nobody notices but me.
Look at the timer, -0.2 seconds.
Oh.
Big explosion, everyone died.

And that's why Nanotrasen are promoting me.
Syndicate threat successfully destroyed.