Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Hard Boiled]

Code:

Hard Boiled wrangles the greater domestic space-bee.

AI bought bees. ALL the station could afford.

[Saxophone Jones]

Join server mid-round, walk into engineering, turn into predator. Walk into warehouse. Get bolted in. Cue hijinks.

Code:

predator snarls, "hey"
predator snarls, "don't be a dick"
predator snarls, "let me out"
predator snarls, "i just want some skulls for my collection"
predator snarls, "i'm a bone enthusiast"
predator snarls, "are you listening to me"
predator snarls, "of course not"
predator snarls, "you're a dick"
predator snarls, "c'mon"
predator snarls, "open this door asshole, i dare ya"
The predator raises his middle finger.
The predator puts on a Burberry Cap.
The predator lays down a flirtatious riff on his saxophone!
predator snarls, "predator lyfe"
The predator lays down a flirtatious riff on his saxophone!
predator snarls, "you assholes be discriminatin'"
The predator lays down a flirtatious riff on his saxophone!
Dominick Baum (as Steven Rodriguez) has added the utility belt to the backpack!
predator snarls, "PREDATORS HAVE RIGHTS"
The predator lays down a salacious riff on his saxophone!
predator snarls, "I'M GONNA FIGHT"
predator snarls, "FOR MY RIGHTS"
predator snarls, "hey"
predator snarls, "let me out"
predator snarls, "dick"
The predator raises his middle finger.
Floorbot makes an excited booping beeping sound!
predator rights activist (as Unknown) snarls, "FREE THE PREDATOR, LET HIM OUT, HE HAS RIGHTS"

And then a guy opens the airlock and I stab him to death and then get teleported into a crystal box in the chapel and forced to fart on a bible.

[LinkDaWolf]

there were reports of a mecha hitler on board. with a tip from damian garneys that hitler was a vegetarian i made him a peanut butter sandwich. it turned out hitler was just hungry as the sandwich appeased him. he was later wrongfully killed as he peacefully roamed the station.

then there was a mecha stalin outside the station. i made him a damian garneys sandwich and some steaks, but he was ouside some grills. my last act as the skunk man was to clip the grill so he could come on board and eat the sandwich and steaks, but it turned out he wasnt hungry. he just really hated the capitalist station.

[Beardbeard]

I got HoP traitor, with the objectives to steal 5 batons, get 27k credits, assassinate the HoS, Strelok, and his officer.I was terrified but decided I would go for a semi-subtle approach, grabbing a rad bow and a bomb for easy escapes, break-ins, or kills. I also grabbed a fake ID to copy my all access to, for good measure.
It turned out the only ones that mattered were the ID and radbow. Round started off with a very rude officer barging into my office as I was creating my gear(I had left my ID in the computer after upgrading access, like a dumbass). He saw the bomb on the ground and immediately detained me.
I was sweating bullets as he gathered up my gear, but he didn't take my ID(this is important) and he didn't notice the radbow on my belt. After a while I was eventually taken to the brig, in the same state I had been in, and tossed in the general population cell. After a minute of security being away to check on something else, I yelled "CHANGE---GRRRK" into the sec frequency, ran out, and waited in a prison wardrobe closet, hoping to ambush a lone HoS or officer. I never did get to do so after waiting for a few minutes, so I just made my way back to my office, grabbed my backpack and all my IDs, then snuck back into security to take 4 batons while they were dealing with the traitor captain.
I managed to convince the captain that I only had to stay alive until the end, and was willing to subvert the AI to let him out of robotics, where he was trapped with his pile of bodies. I one-humaned the AI, pretended I had set the captain and myself to the only humans, and then snuck in while he was dealing with another soon-to-be corpse so I could grab my fifth baton. As I ran out of there, with him seeming to charge after me, I revealed that I was the only actual human and commanded the AI to do everything in its power to stop the guy. He was very upset.
In the end, I managed to almost escape alone, but several people(captain included) managed to get on at the last minute. Not that it mattered, since I ended up doing all my objectives. Was a very fun and tense round for me.

[nelttab]

Dont really know if this qualifies but it is so unique that i just had to mention.

Just had a round where there were NO EXPLOSIONS. i mean none... for 75 minutes, nothing. 1 traitor NOTHING HAPPENED FOR ALMOST THE ENTIRE ROUND!

[Klayboxx]

Code:

Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) says, "I got it from a traitor who murdered the HoS"
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) says, "I'm looking for the dude"
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) says, "His name is Lenny Pinny"
You are hit by the energy bolt!
Johnny Ringo has added the taser gun to the backpack!
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) stammers, "II  wwaaaass   jjuuussstt  ggoooiiinngg tttoo ggvve  yyyooouu   aaan  eeeenerggyy  gggun"
Lenny Pinney (as Johnny Ringo) asks, "who do you think I am?"
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) stammers, "TTo    hllpp"
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) stammers, "ooohh"

I'm dumb because I didn't realize he's Lenny Pinney and had just stunned and caught the very guy I was looking for to murder.

[Sundance]

Code:

Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) says, "I got it from a traitor who murdered the HoS"
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) says, "I'm looking for the dude"
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) says, "His name is Lenny Pinny"
You are hit by the energy bolt!
Johnny Ringo has added the taser gun to the backpack!
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) stammers, "II  wwaaaass   jjuuussstt  ggoooiiinngg tttoo ggvve  yyyooouu   aaan  eeeenerggyy  gggun"
Lenny Pinney (as Johnny Ringo) asks, "who do you think I am?"
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) stammers, "TTo    hllpp"
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) stammers, "ooohh"

I'm dumb because I didn't realize he's Lenny Pinney and had just stunned and caught the very guy I was looking for to murder.

Shortly after, Black Dynamite tries to strangle me for about 10 minutes. And still doesn't kill me.

[Klayboxx]

Code:

Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) says, "I got it from a traitor who murdered the HoS"
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) says, "I'm looking for the dude"
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) says, "His name is Lenny Pinny"
You are hit by the energy bolt!
Johnny Ringo has added the taser gun to the backpack!
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) stammers, "II  wwaaaass   jjuuussstt  ggoooiiinngg tttoo ggvve  yyyooouu   aaan  eeeenerggyy  gggun"
Lenny Pinney (as Johnny Ringo) asks, "who do you think I am?"
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) stammers, "TTo    hllpp"
Chef Buttes (as Marcus Combore) stammers, "ooohh"

I'm dumb because I didn't realize he's Lenny Pinney and had just stunned and caught the very guy I was looking for to murder.

Shortly after, Black Dynamite tries to strangle me for about 10 minutes. And still doesn't kill me.

Yeah I watched that

[Don]

Shortly after, Black Dynamite tries to strangle me for about 10 minutes. And still doesn't kill me.

Yeah I watched that

SS13 - The game where using your bare hands is literally the most complicated way to kill someone.

[Admiral jimbob]

Shortly after, Black Dynamite tries to strangle me for about 10 minutes. And still doesn't kill me.

Yeah I watched that

SS13 - The game where using your bare hands is literally the most complicated way to kill someone.

Assuming most of the crew have no combat experience/training, I wouldn't really call that unrealistic. I fancy my chances at bashing someone's head in with a fire extinguisher better than my chances of being able to properly choke them to death.

Strangulation in this game seems to have become pretty overpowered recently in the hands of semi-competent players though

[CaptainBravo]

Assuming most of the crew have no combat experience/training, I wouldn't really call that unrealistic. I fancy my chances at bashing someone's head in with a fire extinguisher better than my chances of being able to properly choke them to death.

Strangulation in this game seems to have become pretty overpowered recently in the hands of semi-competent players though

fire extinguisher is nothing next to the proper way to choke someone out. except for with (good)wizards and changelings.

[atomic1fire]

To be fair, a lot of things players can do are unrealistic.

For example assistants doing bullet removal surgery, removing and replacing arms. Also weilding your arm stump to stop the bleeding, and then putting an arm back on with no ill effects. Or surviving in space with a oxygen tank and a flimsy orange spacesuit.

[Tteckk]

To be fair, a lot of things players can do are unrealistic.

For example assistants doing bullet removal surgery, removing and replacing arms. Also weilding your arm stump to stop the bleeding, and then putting an arm back on with no ill effects. Or surviving in space with a oxygen tank and a flimsy orange spacesuit.

As a seasoned veteran Staff assistant I can tell you there are a few Random tiles you can even stand on without the paper suit.

[ThoseDernSquirrels]

Gannon Sullivan successfully executes a Chaos Dunk!

something beautiful happened

[Klayboxx]

Gannon Sullivan successfully executes a Chaos Dunk!

something beautiful happened

pfeh, it's not like it's a secret. It IS hilarious, though.