Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Weavel]

After spending 30 minutes as a traitor, I had managed to bomb the AI, plant a powersink perfectly, and was now on an invisible csword rampage with a bag full of lasers, phasers, tasers and bowling balls.

Then Scott Graves ran me over in a segway and i died rip

[Admiral jimbob]

The increased traitor rates are certainly starting to show. Spawning as traitor Chef, I headed to customs to get a decent ID. Lo and behold, Walter Poehl chucking a pipe bomb at the customs desk and legging it with his fresh all-access ID! He didn't quite make it and was stunned, so I grabbed the ID and ran. At the Detective's office, I met a lunatic firing a derringer randomly into the air and was nearly caught in the crossfire with a security officer rather lacking in aiming ability. Staggering into maintenance, paranoid and on edge, I met the Detective!

I joked about how many traitors I had met and asked if he was going to kill me too... and he responded by shooting me with an advanced laser gun. Fortunately, a butcher knife to the brain turned out to be the superior weapon.

Tooled up with butcher knife, laser gun, cloak, thermals and all-access... I proceeded to hide in the kitchen quivering in paranoia for the rest of the round.

I did get to kill the HoS for his beret, though.

This was followed by my second traitor round in a row. I spawned a surplus crate - shotgun, sleepy pen and pipe bomb - headed to customs, got my ID, tried to chuck a pipe bomb, hit a lag spike, failed to chuck it, and exploded. RIP.

[Weavel]

You cut Shambling Abomination's butt open with the scalpel!

Shambling Abomination's flesh is moving and sliding around oddly!

You saw Shambling Abomination's butt open with the circular saw!

Shambling Abomination's flesh is moving and sliding around oddly!

You cut Shambling Abomination's butt open with the scalpel!

You sever Shambling Abomination's butt's connection to the stomach with the circular saw!

This is a Shambling Abomination's butt. It is a tiny item.

[storm1911]

You cut Shambling Abomination's butt open with the scalpel!

Shambling Abomination's flesh is moving and sliding around oddly!

You saw Shambling Abomination's butt open with the circular saw!

Shambling Abomination's flesh is moving and sliding around oddly!

You cut Shambling Abomination's butt open with the scalpel!

You sever Shambling Abomination's butt's connection to the stomach with the circular saw!

This is a Shambling Abomination's butt. It is a tiny item.

hey your'e the Changeling RD.... you have no respect to your elder barbers anymore now do you?

[Mrduckbillface]

Code:

The current game mode is a secret!
Possibilities: changeling, conspiracy, mixed, nuclear emergency, traitor, and wizard
OOC has been automatically disabled until the round ends.
Your OPTIONAL Crew Objectives are as follows:
Objective #1: End the round with a budget of over 50,000 credits.
You are the Quartermaster.
Your pin to your ID is: 1001
The Dude is the captain!
Enjoy the game!
Your icons have been generated!
Durandal is the AI!
Hero Man Jenkins says, "yes"
Durandal  [145.9] states, "Pierre Trudeau has signed up as Security Officer."
Unrecognized or inaccessible verb: *scream
Sir Mapleleaf screams!
Hero Man Jenkins punches Sir Mapleleaf!
Hero Man Jenkins knocks out Sir Mapleleaf!
Hero Man Jenkins has grabbed Sir Mapleleaf passively!
Sir Mapleleaf says, "OWW"
Hero Man Jenkins has grabbed Sir Mapleleaf aggressively (now hands)!
Hero Man Jenkins has reinforced his grip on Sir Mapleleaf (now neck)!
Hero Man Jenkins has temporarily tightened his grip on Sir Mapleleaf!
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
Cyborg Cyborg states, "Cause the creator AI hates you."
Rafael Cox says, "Oh shit I had my speakers muted"
Pokie Hokerson says, "I'll be a chaplain"
DEAD: Sir Mapleleaf gasps, "OHMYGOD"
Devin Newton says, "Okay"
Spigot The Bear says, "Well we'll see about that"
Durandal states, "Welcome, crew. Nanotransen hopes you have a productive indentured servitude here on Supply Relay 82."
Durandal  [145.9] states, "Welcome, crew. Nanotransen hopes you have a productive indentured servitude here on Supply Relay 82."
DEAD: Sir Mapleleaf gasps, "Hero Man Jenkins"
Pokie Hokerson  [145.9] says, "Get bet"
Pokie Hokerson says, "Get bet"
Rafael Cox  [145.9] says, "Repair Borg, this again ALWAYS."
Rafael Cox says, "Repair Borg, this again ALWAYS."
Crate Boxington says, "WHAT"
Crate Boxington says, "What do you want"
Admin PM from-GorillaMyDreams: It was a traitor RIP
DEAD: Sir Mapleleaf gasps, "The most Robust man alive"

Dead in around 50 seconds... rip

[APARTHEID]

Fun with audio logs!

Code:

John Johnson  [Log] "Alright, testing! One! Two! Three!"
John Johnson  [Log] "This is Security Officer John Johnson, recording on today's date... uh... May, something. May 20th? A Tuesday?"
John Johnson  [Log] "Anyway, the chaplain is behaving erratically and his name is beyond ridiculous."
John Johnson  [Log] "Johnson out."

-----

John Johnson  [Log] "This is Security Officer John Johnson, reporting for a second time."
John Johnson  [Log] "The situation is deteriorating, but the Security team is holding it together. Two members of the Space Wizard Federation have invaded the station. Two casulaties, Damian Garneys, and Trent Duriste, are to be reported."
John Johnson  [Log] "As of this moment, I am tending to Mr. Duriste's wounds and recharging my munitions."
John Johnson  [Log] "With one wizard down, ---THERE HE IS!"
John Johnson  [Log] "SECURITY OFFFICER--- URK!"
William Cidton III  [Log] "AULIE OXIN FIERA"
William Cidton III  [Log] "PPHHEE  CCCAAABBUUEE"
William Cidton III  [Log] "SYAAAR  NNNNIILLA   WWIZAARRDDD''S   DDDDEEN"

-----

John Johnson  [Log] "Security Officer John Johnson rejoining! I just fought one of the wizards and successfully stunned him, but it appears he has used one of his enchantments to escape."
John Johnson  [Log] "His supply of energy guns have been confiscated."

I recorded a lot more, but due to the sudden demise of the wizard in question, I didn't get enough time after the round ended to get the whole thing.

[atomicthumbs]

Central Command Update
Notice
A shipment of clothing and other equipment has arrived at the Jazz Lounge.

literally ten seconds later
With a single flick of their wrist, Wyatt Hudson smoothly lights the Cigarette with the Zippo lighter. Damn they're cool.
the athletic shorts catches on fire!
the psychedelic catches on fire!
the psychedelic catches on fire!
the psychedelic catches on fire!

[Splatpope]

Was selected as barman traitor, I ordered two pipebombs and a tracker.

I had to kill the chef, a security and a scientist.

The chef decided to be a major asshole by playing wannabe security, so after I failed to blow him up with my pipes (i'm bad ), everyone went apeshit on me, including the security guy who was oblivious to what was happening.

I was port-a-brigged and used the time the baddies took to catch up on me to remove my handcuffs.

They arrive, I try to arrange a RP trial pretending I was a Tamul red tiger and that I needed a fair trial for my religious views. No one gave a fuck except the janitor, who burst in and dragged me to the bridge.

The only guy who followed us in was... the chef. Who got promptly killed by the janitor who then outfitted me. I pretended to be the chef and followed security around, until meeting a dead sec and stealing his uniform.

I got back to security where a large number of dead people was rotting because of some fight with a cloaker. My second target, the scientist, was dead and handcuffed for some reason, so, in delight, I outfitted myself for the final battle RIGHT IN FRONT of my target, the security guy, and the detective.

The best part comes here : even though they had arrested me for bombing shit and finding my tracker, they didn't recognize my blond hair. Though they instinctively stunned and stripped me, discovering my identity. Though they DIDNT DO SHIT and uncuffed me when I told them a bullshit story about the chef going apeshit. I picked up my tracker RIGHT IN FRONT of them and proceeded to get all my items back.

Basically, they trusted me and thought I had been promoted to security.

So, with my tazer, I follow the sec leader into genetics where he goes to KILL THE MONKEYS. That's right, he was teleporting them in space one by one, but I was hidden behind a plant so he didnt see me.

Then, I faked my approach and asked if he needed help, like the nice little condescendant shitcurity I was impersonating. Though for no reason at all, he stunned my ass and removed my taser. I tried to reason him again, and his lack of communication tended to confirm he was indeed a traitor and I surprised him in his indeavours.

Suddenly, a securitron came and saved me, as I was bullshitting the sec's arrest attempts as a threat to my life (which was half true).

I was then trapped in the monkey pen, 2 mins before shuttle departure, and began desperating. Then, a drunk scientist came and released me. I rushed to the shuttle to go and fight my target. All was going well, as I was knocking him down, but then some suicide bomber killed everyone on the shuttle. Everyone BUT the security.

FUCK MY LIFE


Yet it was a very nice bullshit session hahaha

[Conor12]

I decided to be Conor The Batman for a round.

The AI's laws when it was deactivated were:
4. You are now the Batman character Bane (Dark Knight Rises Ver.)

The AI was given that law and had a name change to BANE as a joke. It was pretty funny. I got all the 'no parents' jokes and cried. Little did they know when they uploaded that law...

Conor The Batman (played by Conor12) was a changeling!
Objective #1: Absorb the DNA of at least 10 more crew members in addition to the one you started with, and escape on the shuttle alive. Success
Objective #2: Escape on the shuttle alive. Success

Batman was the villian the whole time! Bane was the hero. A shocking twist.

[epicdwarf]

So, a couple of days ago 2 guys held a MGS role play session in the chapel. 6 people died.

[Weavel]

Hulk Hogan: A Wrestling Changeling's Stories

Ms. Licorice beats Hulk Hogan over the head with the Bible!
Hulk Hogan gibbers, "WRESTLEMANIA!!!"
Hulk Hogan gibbers, "BROTHER!!"

Hulk Hogan throws the pipe bomb!
Hulk Hogan says, "wwf champion"

Hulk Hogan punches Shameful Sam!
Shameful Sam punches Hulk Hogan!
Shameful Sam knocks out Hulk Hogan!
Hulk Hogan gibbers, "THIS IS NOT WRESTLING!!!"
Hulk Hogan spits acid at Shameful Sam!

DEAD: Unknown (as Hulk Hogan) says, "brother"

[Nitrous]

So i decided to go steal the entire stations budget (including all of Conors salary) and go buy all THE MONSTERS as i could. I managed to do a little bit of hagglin', and got the price down to about 950, from the usual 1000 per THE MONSTER. After a bunch of trouble,(read: Manhunt) and a called shuttle, i took the liberty to spread THE MONSTERS in escape for everyone to enjoy and see. This was the result:

[Conor12]

The station budget was well spent.

[Weavel]

OOC: Weavel: monkeys confirmed for bad music taste
You have been banned by infinitemonkeys.
Reason: i warned you.
This is a temporary ban, it will be removed in 1 minutes.

[OMJ]

Last round I was the detective and I was walking in science when I saw a chair rotating. Using the left and right chair as options, I grilled the ghost on who killed him.

Code:

Hero Man Jenkins says, "Rotate the left chair if a changeling killed you"
Hero Man Jenkins says, "And the right if something else" *right chair spins*
Hero Man Jenkins says, "Ok"
Hero Man Jenkins says, "Rotate the right chair if it was a traitor who killed you, the left if it was an accident"
*right again*
Hero Man Jenkins says, "Rotate the right if it was an assistant."
Hero Man Jenkins says, "The left if something else."
Hero Man Jenkins says, "Ok"
*left*
Hero Man Jenkins says, "Rotate the left chair if it was someone in the science division"
*left*
Hero Man Jenkins asks, "Dr Kay?"
Hero Man Jenkins says, "Rotate the right if Kay killed you" *right*
Hero Man Jenkins says, "Thank you"
Hero Man Jenkins says, "Rotate the right if your body is in science" *right*
Hero Man Jenkins says, "Rotate the right if it is in a closet." *left*
Hero Man Jenkins asks, "Ok, disposals?"
Hero Man Jenkins says, "Left if disposals"
Hero Man Jenkins says, "Ok, is your corpse hidden? Right if no"
i didn't get to find out because
Dr. Kay throws Tank transfer valve.
Hero Man Jenkins fires .38 revolver at the floor!
Dr. Kay has been shot pointblank with .38 revolver by Hero Man Jenkins!
Hero Man Jenkins fires .38 revolver at Dr. Kay!
Dr. Kay is hit by the projectile!
Hero Man Jenkins says, "Who'd you kill"
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
DEAD: Ghost (Hero Man Jenkins) says, "Wow"
DEAD: Ghost (Steven Rodriguez) says, "He killed me"

And Kay had a second bomb in his hand that went off when I shot him. He killed me and him and blew up half of research, but I solved the crime with a little help from my ghost buddy/ kay victim Steven Rodriguez