GET DAT FUKKEN DISK

[NateTheSquid]

Stationeer, AI, set up the solars and retract my upload airbridge.

طراحی سایت

that's only like the third AI, at least 1 of which already set up solars and retracted the airbridge, with 2 minutes left

[NesMettaur]

Mmmm, noodles.

So what was next on the agenda? Standing on the chairs and seeing how many people I can flip onto before we arrive/I get baton'd?

Sounds about right.

[Bologna Prime]

It's go time, I take my crate of capsules with me to the command teleporter and open a portal to the nuke's beacon. What strange adventures could lie beyond?

[Lady Birb]

I attempt to figure out what the hell is going on.

[Frank_Stein]

Going to summon the port a brig, climb inside, and then radio the HoS to summon it to the shuttle

[Vitatroll]

It's go time, I take my crate of capsules with me to the command teleporter and open a portal to the nuke's beacon. What strange adventures could lie beyond?

I'd watch that show.

Anyways, uh - I try to strike up a round of dueling banjos, in butt trumpet.

Yeah I got nothin'.

[Winklabom]

I immediately start miming an invisible box around the clown and the strange man fighting him. Of course, I am standing outside the invisible box.

Hopefully they will both be contained long enough to defeat one another.

[New525]

I remember all the rage ive felt this round, i feel it well it up, I feel it consume my higher thought. The only thing driving me forward is the glimmer of hope that once I join this clown in an unholy matrimony of death ill be able to see my deceased father once again. I take a step forward slamming my foot down load enough to crack the shuttle floor. I dont care about harming myself any more im going to use my bodys full potential regardless of the damage it causes. I remember the thesaurous of angry words i thought to myself over the past 20 minutes, acridious, indignation, umbridge, asperity None of them can come close to describing the feelings i now feel. Some say it is emotion that sets humans apart from other animals. In that case i have transcended my humanity through unlimited emotion. I use all my muscles strength disregarding any bones it may break and sprint full force at the clown dodging anything in my way. Once im on the clown i beat its hideous fucking face to a pulp and trigger my macrobomb

As i begin this plan i feel a new power surround me, the Chakra of another. I split my new chakra into 5 beings each with 2 of my micro bombs and have each tackle one person while having 2 tackle the clown and begin the aforementioned plan


Uggu

[Superlagg]

As the searing flames peck at every inch of my flesh with their microscopic beaks, I feel a strange warmth; not of my skin charring or my organs denaturing, but a pleasant one, a warmth inside kindled by the heat outside. It whispers to my soul, and in an instant I know what I must do. I must assist the one who needs it most.

I hunch down, tensing with all my concentration, crossing both of my index fingers over my heart; mind, body, and spirit focused tighter than an exawatt PTL. The fires that surround me burn with a new heat as I extend my inner being toward New525.

I transfer all of my chakra into the nuclear operative and perform the fabled Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, the Art of the Shadow Doppelgänger. With my power and his combined, I allow him to conjure multiple perfect clones of himself to even the odds against the crew.

As the Jutsu completes, I am drained; I fall to the floor, helpless and burning.

[Technature]

Stationeer, AI, set up the solars and retract my upload airbridge.

Not only are the solars set up and the airbridge already retracted, but the AI slot (s) are already taken AND the game's about to end anyways.

[pizzatiger]

OKAY MOTHERFUCKING ALIENS, I'M A SASSY TALKING NUKE SIDE-KICK AND MY OWNER IS ABOUT TO POP IN. YOU WILL GIVE HIM COMPLETE OWNERSHIP OF THIS SHIP SO WE CAN GO ON EXCITING ELDERIC ADVENTURES OR I WILL BLOW US ALL SKY HIGH. -Roll bluff-

[Noah Buttes]

I reveal that I was secretly a syndicate all along

I take out my bike horn and my cream pie and kick up the humor to MAXIMUM OVERCLOWNAGE.

I completely ignore the mean person who tackled me to focus solely on my arch-nemesis, the mime. I WILL make him laugh, damn it!

[Flourish]

Is Mr. Muggles around? I feel like beating another monkey up. If he is, I'll smash a plate over his head and suplex him.

[Studenterhue]

Well, at least I ended this shift with more than I started. And I'm going to embrace it. By making a less-than-bathtub size batch for the trip and setting off to find the latest on junkie fashions.

[Technature]

NateTheSquid (Captain) (2) + Noah Buttes (Clown) (1) vs. New525 (Syndicate) (3) + Superlagg (Assistant) (2) vs. Winklabom (Mime) (5):Oh boy, this one's gonna be a doozy...uh...
Winklabom successfully Mime's the clown and the syndicate together in a small box to sort out their differences.
Superlagg attempts to transfer his energy into New525.  Nothing happens.
New525, after being prevented from reaching the climax of his character arc, angrily proceeds to sprint into the clown, knocking him over, and then beats the shit out of his face, cracking the mask pretty badly.  Once he's done, he forcefully activates his Macrobomb early.  The sheer force is enough to break the invisible wall.
Nate, who is currently in the cockpit, notices literally none of this happening.
Alert!  Everyone on the shuttle not in security, medical, or the cockpit must roll for damage!  Due to Noah's location to the syndicate, he automatically roles a 1, gibbing him in the process.

1's, Gibbed: Noah Buttes (Automatic), New525 (Automatic)
2's, Lose an arm and a leg: Nesmettaur (4, not your robot arm), Vitatroll, Hydrofloric
3's, Lose a leg: None
4's, Lose an arm: Winklabom, elan_oots
5's, Badly damaged: None
6's, Unharmed: Superlagg, Lord Birb's mini-bot.
Exempt: Berrik (Arrested), NateTheSquid (In the Cockpit)

Berrik (Handcuffed, 6): The handcuffs appear to be slightly larger than they're supposed to be.  They slide off.
You quickly swipe and begin eating the HoS's hat without anyone noticing.
It tastes like the bitter taste of justice.

HotCoffeeMug (Crit Check, irrelevant) (2): You adminhelp to be let on the shuttle.
After a short time, you get a message.
"Sorry, but you missed it, and there's nothing I can do about it.  Try to get to it next round."

NesMettaur (3): You proceed to get up on the chair, using the chaos to your advantage to body slam as many people as people.
You successfully down two random people before being caught in an explosion, losing an arm and a leg.
Ow.

Bologna Prime (2):You activate the teleporter and immediately jump inside.
You find yourself in the brig.
Probably should have calibrated that first.

Lord Birb (4): You immediately attempt to assess what is happening.
Several people seem to have made their way onto the shuttle, with some assistance and detriment on several key crew members efforts.
A syndicate member and the clown appear to get into a one sided fight before the syndicate suddenly explodes.  Luckily, you were far enough away to not be affected.
Several crew members are now in pain, missing limbs, and/or straight up dead.

Frank Stein (3): You radio over security to see if you can be teleported on via the port-a-brig.
Apparently, due to the anti teleportation fields on the shuttle, this would be impossible.
Dang.

Vitatroll (6): You succeed in...whatever you're doing?
I have no freaking idea.
Seems like a waste of a perfectly good 6.
Despite this amazing success, you get caught in an explosion that rips off an arm and a leg.

Flourish (6): Incredibly angry at the situation at hand, you search for another monkey and UTTERLY BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IT!
Good god!
This scene is way too graphic for me to type out of fear for tainting our virgin reading eyes.
In the aftermath, the monkey has been thoroughly grounded into paste.
Jesus christ.

Studenterhue (1): Oh sweet christ the addiction is already kicking in.
You eject your entire lunch all over the floor.
Good god that stung.

Final Results:
Station victory!
Survivors:  20/21 (95%, A)
Escapees: 7/21 (33%, F)
Syndicates killed before shuttle arrival: 1/3 (33%, F)
Clown Abuse: Not enough.
Overall: 53%, F
Comment: That's...uh...that's a lot of braindead.