GET DAT FUKKEN DISK

[Technature]

The game is over folks. Nothing to see here anymore.

Saw a thing on another forum and wanted to try it out.

Nuke Ops are trying to blow up the station.  Stop it from happening/make sure it goes off without a hitch.

Rules are simple.  Post what you're trying to do and you'll get a random number.  Horrifying failure 1-6 Amazing success.  Certain factors (Like your job or current situations) can influence the result.  First post should indicate whether you're a nuke op or stationeer and, if a station worker, your jorb  (failure to do this will result in your random number determining how bad this is cause fuck it).  Normal game limitations apply (some exceptions may be made if a lot of people join in).  All Jobs, including Nuke Ops Commander, are first come, first serve.
One post is One minute.

Nukies require the Disk to arm the Nuke.  Should the disk be destroyed for any reason, a random location will be picked where the nuke can get armed without it (this location will be PM'd to the nuke team).

Update:I've decided I'm going to update twice a day.  Expected times will be roughly 2 AM or PM central (depending on what I'm doing, it may be updated an hour earlier or later than expected).

Final Results

Current Roster:

Stationeers:

• Captain:NateTheSquid, Healthy
  
• AIs (2/2):
  Lord Birb, Undamaged
  PizzaTiger, Undamaged
   Cyborg Body:73%, Head is too damaged to operate.
  
• Medical Director:elan_oots, Hurt, missing an arm.
  
• Medical Doctors (1/5):
  fosstar, Healthy
  
• Roboticists (1/2):
  UmbraDrake, Healthy
  
• Research Director:PH77SER, Slightly Hurt
  
• Scientists (2/5):
  Studenterhue, Healthy
  Hydrofloric, crit, (3)
  
• Head of Personnel:Bologna Prime, Healthy, Soulless
  
• Janitor:APARTHEID, Healthy
  
• Botanists (2/4):
  Vitatroll, Hurt, missing an arm, missing a leg
  Luigithirty, slightly hurt.
  
• Security (1/5):
  Frank Stein, Badly Hurt
  
• Mechanics (2/2):
  NesMettaur, Hurt, missing an arm, missing a leg, Robot Arm
  Roomba, Healthy
  
• Engineers (1/3):
  a pleasant hug, healthy
  
• Staff Assistants:
  Superlagg, Hurt, ON FIRE!
  HotCoffeeMug, Crit (2), ON FIRE!
  Winklabom, Badly Hurt, missing an arm
  Berrik, Healthy
  Flourish, Hurt, Monkey
  
• Clown:Noah Buttes, Dead, Unrevivable
  

Nuke Ops:

• Commander:AwfulWorldKid, Dead, Unrevivable
  
• Op 1:New525, Dead, Unrevivable
  
• Op 2:Youkcat, Dead, Unrevivable
  
  

Current situations:
Security Level:NUCLEAR! (Only personnel actively harming the crew or aiding the syndicates are to be dealt with)
Disk Location: NesMettaur
Nuke Location: QM Office
Time til Nuke Explodes: N/A
Time til the shuttle leaves:1 minute!
Fluke Ops Incoming: Not only is Awfulworldkid really bad at this, he was purposefully given terrible plans too.
Competent Medical Staff: Medical actions + for the station.
Rally of war: The captain has roused the crew into action.  + vs. Syndicates.
1 star Wanted:Hotcoffeemug (missing), Noah Buttes
3 star Wanted:Superlagg
Damaged:Armory
Depressurized:Podbay
Engineering, Mechanics, the Bar, the Kitchen, and medbay are open to anyone!
The Janitor's closet is open to anyone except scientists, Chef's, and Bartenders!
The Captain's Quarters is open to All heads of staff!
Hydroponics has been bolted down.
The Ore processing room is bolted open!
Communism (80%) vs. (20%) Anarchy

[NateTheSquid]

stationeer, i want to eat the disk as the captain. deep fryed miracles

[Superlagg]

Stationeer, Staff Assistant. I want to prepare myself the classic Graytide breakfast: a bottle of Happy Elf, six cups of coffee, and two Donk Pockets warmed on the floor by the radiant heat of a lit Pro-Puff.

So first, I'd want to use my Fat Stack on the Crew Quarters Coffee Machine, then dispense 1x Happy Elf Hot Chocolate and 15x Robust Coffee. Then I want to use those items on myself.

[APARTHEID]

Stationeer, Janitor, and I'm currently ruining Superlagg's breakfast by tossing it into my trusty trash cart.

[PH77SER]

fuck it put me in as rd so i'll bad end before they get the bomb (jk)

ritual running to fanny pack in arrivals and getting full toolbelt

[New525]

Nuke ops, Grab all the sarin and leave the atropine

[Lady Birb]

Stationeer, AI, set up the solars and retract my upload airbridge.

[awfulworldkid]

Nuke Ops Commander because I fuckin love RTDs

I'll try to grab as much gear I can futilely stuff in my pack/belt/butt/whatever.

[YoukCat]

Nuclear Operative Trollgar

Get the Belt, and a kit of Grenades. Equip the Red Spacesuit and begin plotting.

[Noah Buttes]

Stationeer, clown.

I spend the whole round doing nothing useful or remarkable whatsoever.

[elan_oots]

Fuck it, Stationeer, MD. I grab my gun, don a medical belt, grab my doctor's bag, and make a shit ton of synthflesh, perf/mannitol.

[Technature]

Nate (3): You make your way to the kitchen to deepfry the Auth. Disk. Unfortunately by the time you get there, you notice you have a hole in your pocket.
That can't be good.

APAR (2): You make your way to arrivals to get a full toolbelt. For once, arrivals seems to have nothing worth taking.

New525 (2): You accidentally grab the atropine instead of the Sarin. Only good can come from this.

Lord Birb (4): The solars are set to okay levels. They're expected to power the station slightly longer than normal. You also successfully retract the air bridge to you.

Awfulworldkid (1): You grab incredibly useless tools and IMMEDIATELY leave the safety of the Nuke Ops station in your specialized pod. All actions against the station -.

Youkcat (5): You equip the belt and grab a kit of grenades. You also come up with a damn good plan to defend the nuke once people discover your presence. Combat success + for all nukeops still there (New525, Youkcat).

Noah (6): You become so good at being unnoticed that no one can specifically target you for any action.

elan_oots (5): You are successfully equipped for a typical day on the station, more than most people in your position. Medical Actions +

Superlagg (4) vs. APERTHEID (2): Superlagg prepares for a typical breakfast, starting with a hilariously unhealthy amount of Coffee tipped off with hot chocolate. Upon placing all the glasses on the floor and consuming them, APER arrives to clean up this horrifying mess. While he successfully stuffs half of it in his trusty cart, Super successfully steals it and runs off with it.

Current situations:
Disk Location: FIND THAT DISK!
Nuke Location: Syndicate Shuttle.
Time til Nuke Explodes: N/A
Fluke Ops Incoming: Awfulworldkid is really bad at this.
Nuke Ops plan of Counterattack: Combat is + in New525 and Youkcat's favor.
Competent Medical Staff: Medical actions + for the station.

[Vitatroll]

Stationeer, Botanist, Actions as follows: Remove clothing except shoes and backpack (keep ID), then go find and wear tanning sunglasses -> Find and wear best hat available -> Goto botany and continually produce:

- Weed, focusing on increasing potency. Naturally, I will be tokin' on it non-stop.
- Buttplants, focusing on developing robuttbotplants.
- Bananas, focusing on quantity over quality.
- Explosive tomatos, because I'm american.

Excess weed, butts, and bananas get mailchuted around the station. Excess tomatos get mailchuted in bags. Any buttbotplants produced are to be dragged around the station, releasing the butt upon it, inbetween the growth period of other plants.

Or if all that's too complicated I'm perfectly fine getting naked, drunk and stoned in the bar. After swallowing a bee egg first, naturally. Gotta have a drinking bee.

[Studenterhue]

Oh, fun, a forum game that doesn't involve listing single letters.

Let's see,  there're 20 different regular jobs (including nuke op) I could join in as according to the current OP. Random number generator gives me 13, and 13th on the wiki's job list page, considering the taken slots (so, skipping clown and janitor), is...Scientist.

I head over to Artifact Lab. Who knows, maybe I'll find an artbeaker there.

[NateTheSquid]

i deep fry myself (captain) as i slur to the crew the disk is somewhere on the station and whoever wants packet nerdery can go find it.

"cccchhheeeffff eeeaaaattt mmmmeee"
"eeeaaaattt mmmeee"

edit: id also like to throw my spare and regular id at the chef/empty kitchen