Clown Tales

[sen761]

Tell your or other people's tales of epic clownery.

[medsal15]

It wasn't me, but the first time Jugglomancy became a thing.

[babayetu83]

one time i played clown and got beaten up and i got yelled at by an admin for not adminhelping it

[Technature]

Admins gave me a theme that played anytime I stood still.

I stood next to a screaming bartender while he was frozen.

Then when he died, I cloned him and stayed there til he came back.

He ran away without getting his clothes.

[NateTheSquid]

anyone remember that one NT clown round? sit back and lemme tell you a story
Spoiler!

So, at round start, everything was red. All the windows, the shuttle tiles, and soon after everything got manually painted red by crew+admins. There was a centcom announcement saying we'd been bought by the syndicate, and were all members now, and that some syndicate gear would appear in the chapel. Before I could head over there, a QM decided to whack me with a blue paint can, just for lols. After rushing in to grab my syndicate space suit, I soon found that a couple of people were actual traitors, and, when they saw me, yelled stuff like "NANOTRASEN CLOWN" and rushed at me. Luckily, being robust, I managed to get away from most of them. At some point, I got a stun baton, and a phaser. Anyone tried attacking me, warning shot with a phaser, get any closer, stun baton.

While I was running around, there was another announcement about the rogue clown on board who had to be stopped, and something about employing security mechanisms. Shortly after, everything started shocking me, like a hardwired engine does, but from all electric stuff. The first bout hit me with about 20 zaps from a vending machine, which instantly put me into crit, but I guess the syndicate wanted me alive, because after I patched myself up, the zaps were less intense, leaving a short stun and about 5 burn damage. While being chased by those darn syndicates, I realized the zaps could be used to my advantage, cause they would hit the first thing they touched, on their way to me. I started weaving and zapping all the syndicate, at which point the zaps stopped.

Anyway, after lots of running and clowning, and throwing a cream pie at a guy with a c saber who was intent on killing me a few times, I got caught by a robust syndicate-sec. After being in the port a brig for a while, a NT sympathizer let me out with a crowbar during a rad storm, so I got away for a bit. All my items had been spread around however, and sadly, NanoTrasen loyalty doesn't make you immune to the crippling heat the engine puts out, and I died while retrieving my funny pack from inside the PTL. *salute

[Tom Clancy's Gay Ghost]

Slippy the Safety Clown likes to juggle mousetrap pipebombs. Slippy is a very contrary individual.

[OMJ]

paging chips ahoy

[locusts]

Life is like a hurricane here on this station,
Traitors, lasers, changelings - it's a clown-cation,
You might solve a mystery or rewrite history,
Clown Tales, Oo-oo
Tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales, oo-oo
D-d-d-danger, watch behind you - there's a rampager out to find you
What to do? Just grab onto some Clown Tales, oo-oo!
Not pony tails or cotton tails but Clown Tales, oo-oo!
When it seems they're headed for the final curtain
Bold honking never fails, that's for certain
The worst of messes become successes!
Clown Tales, Oo-oo
Tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales, oo-oo
Not pony tails or cotton tails but Clown Tales, oo-oo!

[EristheSlackWyrm]

Tooty the trustworthy clown! I was a bad clown! No one laughed at my jokes, no one enjoyed my pranks and my honks were denied! I prayed to the Honkmother to punish me for failing at my duty as a clown.. My arms were ripped off gorily infront of the crew, however... they laughed! They laughed at me! I was so happy! There was hope for my honks!

And the honkmother spoke to me... she gave me words of encouragement.. and a gift was sent to the holy temple of the honkmother. And in the clown tent I found it.. A box of banana grenades! The time for slipping came. And slipping I did! I was blessed with powerfull farts that left a visible trail. I slipped and farted in my faces, I even got ticketed! What a blessing! I may have been responsible for a death due to slipping, but all was forgiven.

Except by a security officer Named Ireen... she had a bad day and decided to take the law in her own hands! After throwing blessed clown grenades in security and flooding it with Amusing Ducks, she took me aside and sent me to the Honkmother... But my work was not yet done! I was brought back through cloning! However Ireen had become depressed after realising she had murdered me in cold blood. So I took it upon myself to cheer her up. I had almost done it, but the shuttle was on its way. I prayed to the Honkmother to bring me blessed brothers from the Clown-byond. And near the end a horde of Green Clown Brothers came to us! To help make Ireen happy again! Slipping and Honking was had on our way to Centcom, and Ireen gave me one last smile at the end of the shift!

This was late at night and I had 2 other great clown shifts right before and after, so I might not remember it properly. I was blessed with many custom clown grenades that spawned different things. Clown Shoes, Amusing Ducks, some other things. I think Ireen felt legit bad about killing me, but I found that it was well deserved and also fit the IC rp of LLJK1. The other 2-3 rounds that night was also quite great. Immortal zombie clown blessed by the gods to wreck havoc but not kill anyone. And an adrinaline powered clown with a magic wand that iced everything in a 5x5 radius. I might have gone overboard with that one, but what clown on adrinaline wouldnt.

[Dr Zoidcrab]

Stop stealing my clown slot goddamn it

[Mageziya]

It wasn't me, but the first time Jugglomancy became a thing.

I am forever proud of being one of the people who helped discover the dark art of jugglemancy.

It's also been just about two years since it happened, mercy.

[OMJ]

from popecrunch in a 2016 thread.
"Chips Ahoy was the best fucking clown I've ever seen.

I tossed him a traitor round when I saw he rolled clown, and gave him the objective 'steal shoes'. Shortly after the carnage began, BYOND blew up and I had to reinstall. When I rejoined 20 minutes later, most of the station had been plunged into darkness, most people were just straight up GONE (like i couldn't even find bodies????), and the population had been reduced to a few people hiding in lockers shrieking at each other on the radio and one clown towing a crate. i said 'holy shit' in OOC and Chips Ahoy honked his horn and opened the crate to reveal a stash of shoes so large that my client almost crashed with I rightclicked on it to see how many he'd gotten."