Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Weavel]

Starting as a traitor assistant and immediately unlocking my PDA, spawning two pipebombs and blowing up the outside of EVA.

Then when I suicided as the cops dragged me off, I heard this

DEAD: some dude says, "why did I inspect that pipe bomb"

[CaptainBravo]

used the promise of a boxing match as a premise to mindslave Walter Poehl while i had him stunned. from then on we were two men with a mission: repossess the brig, the entire brig, with portals.

unfortunately there were more than this many people:



trying to stop us because i guess they like having prisons or something. it did not end well.

[Weavel]

after a fun Metal Gear Solid discussion in OOC, I named myself Revolver Ocelot and dressed for the occasion

didn't expect to spawn as a changeling, though

Herb Garden says, "You suck, ocelot."
Revolver Ocelot asks, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
Revolver Ocelot says, "I'LL TEACH YOU WHO'S BOSS AROUND HERE"
Herb Garden says, "NO OCELOT PLEASE"
Revolver Ocelot spits acid at Herb Garden!

then I took the liberty of unleashing nanomachine smoke on the crew while screaming about brothers and how pretty good everyone was

then I got shot and spaced but we can gloss over that

[Conor12]

My first round as Head of Security on Gibbed #3.

Results:


(Lots of other cool drone things happened.)

[BillyMays]

Not to long into a round as an assistant, I stole somebodies shoes and held them hostage, demanding a ransom of 10 bananas. The crew mostly ignored me, except some people were gathering outside of my little bunker and demanding that I come out. Eventually, a borg tore down the door and not too long after that, people kept poring in. I hid in the market stall while everyone outside was repeatedly catching on fire (me included) from Chef Buttes. Eventually broke in and I was stripped and was lit on fire again. They stole my one true friend from me, the king in yellow. After that, I tracked Chef Buttes down repeatedly for the King In Yellow but had no success. I eventually killed myself out of shame. rip

[PlainInsane]

I was the chaplain, was also the changeling. Wizard starts murdering people, I eat him. Vampire starts being mean, I eat him too. I go on to eat 63 other people. Was a good day.

[ThoseDernSquirrels]

I was the chaplain, was also the changeling. Wizard starts murdering people, I eat him. Vampire starts being mean, I eat him too. I go on to eat 63 other people. Was a good day.

You know from now on whenever the radio gets really silent after a few people call out changeling I just need to assume that said changeling has eaten half the station and is wandering around as a shambling abomination

[Nautilus]

I had my most productive traitor round yesterday as a chief engineer.

As any round, I wanted to get the engine running at maximum power. An engineer was with me by the name of Horse Elephant who wanted to know more about this great method of making power, so while completing the steps necessary to get a good burn in the combustion engine I managed to evacuate the hot loop control room of oxygen using an RCD. Normal procedure so far, really. Unfortunately, Engineer Elephant didn't have himself internals, and I was keen to exploit this.

I told him I'll review the steps to burning the engine correctly and we went into the hot loop. He immediately gasped, which I took as my chance to flash him without him yelling bloody murder. Since he died of suffocation in the evacuated control room, I honestly doubt his death would be related to foul play and just left him there.

With my new found privacy, I took the time to order 2 amazing products from the syndicate - power gloves and a mindslave implant. I was hoping I could mindslave an engineer who had a decent grasp of the engine, but unfortunately no one of that skillset was around. Dismayed, I donned a firesuit and an engineer helmet, went to medbay and zapped the first assistant I could find. At that point, the engine was producing 4 MegaWatts of power, and the assistant was propelled straight out of his shoes, through the opened airlock and slamming right into the bolted pathology doors, dying instantly.

Once I got up from the shock, I decided that PROBABLY staying around the scene of the crime was a bad idea and headed down to the quartermasters. The quartermaster had insulated gloves, which is a bit frustrating for me, so I told him that I had a theory in which putting wire on your gloves could probably cause them to act like knuckle dusters. He was intrigued and took off his gloves, which I used the opportunity to blow him the hell up. I decided to check up on medbay again, mostly because I was going deaf and needed an to get a headset more suited to deal with the constant arc-explosions.

When I got there, it was like christmas. The doors were wide opened and I just sauntered right through and blew up the geneticist right through the window. I noticed my target, the RD, was already dead and rotting and the medical officers in charge were playing around with scalpels and circular saws in the surgeon area. I stunned both of them and then proceeded to blow them up all with my power gloves, every time expressing confusion as to why any of this happened. The captain came to investigate, but fortunately for him, his hands were insulated from the four megawatts of wreckage that could of befell him.

The medbay now a graveyard, I walked off for a little while to regulate the engine a bit. Coming back, I noticed there were quite a few more replacement doctors and some roboticists coming and going. I summarily blew them up and kept venting my frustration in wondering why any of this was happening. Since there is a massive flash anytime anyone was arc-blasted, I don't believe people saw the lightning emminant from my power gloves.

Suddenly, an unknown and invisible assailant attacked me with a circular saw! With my T-Ray on, he flickered and revealed the equipment he donned. With a welding mask down and insulated gloves on, I had no way to neutralize this threat. All I could do was plead, ask for him not to ruin my fun while I blew up people. Since I was beyond the point of being permanently deaf, who knows if he actually said something in reply. The detective wandered over from the medbay doors and towards me, but was no more the moment I stood up shrugging off the circular saw attacks.

I told the cloaker that I meant him no harm, and that I eliminated a major threat to his life. He began stealing my gloves and threw down his insulatives. Coming to, I quickly snagged the gloves and put them on before he could blow me up as I had many before. I ran into medbay as an arc of electricity bounced off me and found the detective's corpse, taking his thermals. The cloaker was stuck in the medbay lobby, importantly away from me. With a mindslave still in my backpack, the decision was made to go to robotics and get myself a friend, as well as my hearing back.

Inside, a helpful roboticist was merrily working on making implants. Asking for his assistance, he wasted no time to make me the cochlear implants that I so needed. Once created, I wandered in and implanted him without hesitation. Time to check my notes and see what I need to accomplish.

1. Kill the Research Director
2. Escape Alone

Oh dear, in my joyous murder spree I completely lost track of time. The shuttle would arrive in a mere 6 minutes. I told him of this fact and he prepared while I ran off to the escape arm and began laying down traps.

First off, by the escape doors there isn't a need to have people walking on through without having to go through a tile of pace, I figured. On either side I used my RCD to rip off a tile. Going back around, I noticed people waiting by the escape assembly area, including the captain...

Going north a bit, there was incendiery grenades next to a tactical grenade box. Only this one grenade was left, and I threw it right at the captain's face. Now the captain was absolutely furious at me, and on fire to boot. I ran down to the escape arm as he tried to dart towards me with an e-gun in hand.

The roboticist I slaved began welding doors and causing a bit of a ruckus. Using this opportunity, I placed a wall right underneath both shuttle doors to make it a bit tougher for people to get into the shuttle. Standing right ontop of the wall as I created it and by just standing on the same tile as a door, it looked like I was doing nothing suspicious but waiting for the escape shuttle to come by. The captain seemed to be too busy fighting his fire to call me out.

Once the Shuttle arrived, all that was left was to wait out the 3 minutes. Honestly unprepared, I didn't bring 3 head IDs - I could of probably taken the Research Director's and the Captain's if I cared enough. Instead, I anxiously waited with thermals to give me an idea on how the crew progressed. The space tiles were working quite well, and the crew's attrition to the escape arm was obvious. Desperately, people tried to figure out why the doors didn't work as space bit into them. With no competent engineers, the crew simply was not able to open the doors and cut through the walls. No one brought the spare RCD.

Completely by accident, I completed both my traitor objectives - killing the RD and escaping alone. That plan was so hairbrained I'm still surprised it worked.

[TheRedScare]

Pre-round OOC
----------------------
Bailey mentions that he will be recording the round for youtube. Everyone begins saying how they will mess it up. I say I hope I get antag so I can ruin it.
----------------------
Round-Start
----------------------
I get to be a traitor botanist. My objectives are to- Fuck them they are shit.
I spawn two pipe bombs and microbomb myself. I rush to Bailey's office (The detective's office) where Sham Poo and Conor McNice are standing. They engage in playful banter. I decide to bomb them just to ruin their fun.

Conor McNice points to Smokey Dogg
Conor McNice says, "This jerk"
Smokey Dogg [145.9] exclaims, "Fuck the police!"
Smokey Dogg exclaims, "Fuck the police!"
You activate the pipe bomb! 5 seconds!
Sham Poo says, "I HAVE SEEN THIS MAN HAVING FUN"
Smokey Dogg throws the pipe bomb.
Sham Poo has been hit by the pipe bomb.
the pipe bomb explodes!

Sham explodes instantly into chunks of meat. Conor is turned into swiss cheese thanks to shrapnel. I get knocked down, I yell out that Sham done it and people believe me, a few crewmembers rush over to help, I get helped up and injected with tricord. I then rush over to Conor, who is a mangled, dying and messed up person at this point, about 5 people were around him giving him CPR, so I activated the other bomb and yelled fuck the police again because I couldn't think of anything original at this point. I blew them up, one guy got gibbed due to my microbomb going off. The others died.

[TheRedScare]

This is the aftermath, the breach was patched up.

[TheRedScare]

Wrong image whoops. That was an electrician antag round.

There we go.

[TheRedScare]

I was a botanist who got kitchen access.
I made so many cakes.
I made my own cake which I called the Blood Money cake. It was cake mixed with money coated with blood icing. The other cakes I made were, yoghurt cake with omega slurrypod slurry icing. Cannabis cake with Bacon icing and last but not least a delicious-looking lightly-fried Jack King's butt cake with chocolate icing.


You take a bite of the lightly-fried Jack King's butt cake!
You finish eating the lightly-fried Jack King's butt cake.
Zx9rconnor earned the Rookie Thief medal.
You take a bite of the lightly-fried cannabis leaf cake!
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You finish eating the lightly-fried cannabis leaf cake.

[Cogwerks]

You haven't lived until you've made an Omega Cannabis cake.

[TheRedScare]

I soon shall. I just need the right mix to get it. Then I shall force you to eat it.

[ThoseDernSquirrels]

Had my first successful traitor round last night. Had to kill an assistant and escape on the shuttle alive. Kept it somewhat clean, like a cat rolling around in the dirt and just shaking a little bit off. Killed the detective who I thought was trying to kill a traitor buddy but was just a civilian. The sight of me hacking the detective's bulldog face off with a cyalume saber must haunt her dreams.