Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Zamujasa]

Syndicate Operative goes to the dead captain, strips him, starts to make his getaway in Maintenance.

Then some random grayshirt shows up with a stolen RPG from a dead operative, and fires it. Point-blank. The captian's body gibs and both the operative's legs blow off, but he has donk pockets so he manages to escape with most of his life.

The legless operative managed to crawl his way to an airlock, jetpack around, go through Disposals at crawling speed, then go out another airlock and back to the Syndie shuttle. The legless operative armed the nuke and the station was destroyed a few moments later.

It was a sight to behold.

[CaptainBravo]

cheering broodlines up

http://i.imgur.com/lcwykO1.png

life is so meaningless.

*hairflick

[Berrik]

Xiphos Volund spits acid at BALD BULL!
You begin to recover.
... You can almost hear something ...
BALD BULL climbs into the gibber and switches it on.
the freezer floor has been hit by Xiphos Volund with the grab
DEAD: Ghost (BALD BULL) moans, "ahahaha"
DEAD: Ghost (BALD BULL) laments, "DENIED"

[Weavel]

with a new ID and a monkey suit, I became ~DONKEY KONG~

I had one chimp buddy as Diddy Kong, and a big pile of 200 bananas as my banana hoarde
People who passed by waved, knocked on the windows, gently tapped them with oxygen tanks, kindly kicking the grille OH NO
they were BREAKING IN

so I fought them off with my munky strength, and all the banana peels made it hilarious
when suddenly a fucking Gravity Well artifact gets dragged past us, pulling all of my banana hoarde with it

Eventually they managed to weld me and my entire stash into a locker, dragged it to the boxing ring, and when they unwelded me, four people beat me to death to claim their rightful title as the true KING OF THE JUNGLE
I died hard

there were not enough italicized or bold words for emphasis imo

[KikiMofo]

Xiphos Volund spits acid at BALD BULL!
You begin to recover.
... You can almost hear something ...
BALD BULL climbs into the gibber and switches it on.
the freezer floor has been hit by Xiphos Volund with the grab
DEAD: Ghost (BALD BULL) moans, "ahahaha"
DEAD: Ghost (BALD BULL) laments, "DENIED"

That happened to me before as a changeling. I learned my lesson to not bring my food near something they can gib suicide themselves with. It was funny as hell though.

[Weavel]

THE SECOND COMING OF DAD CHRIST

You feel horrible!
You hear a voice in your head... Dad, listen closely. Your time is coming to an end.
Your Dad twitches.
Your Dad seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
You hear a voice in your head... You feel like you're flying through the air!
... You can almost hear something ...
... You can almost hear something ...
Your Dad screams!
God says, "It is time for you to rise again."
Your Dad asks, "Is that you, god?"
God says, "Do you know who I am- Wow, lucky guess."
God says, "That's right, I'm God."
Your Dad says, "I'm a man of the cloth in fairness."
Your Dad says, "We talked on the phone once."
God asks, "Now, listen closely. Do you know why you are here?"
Your Dad heals Your Dad with the power of Christ!
May the power of Christ compel you to be healed!
You have added the bible to the backpack.
Your Dad says, "Well, I'm not sure."
Your Dad says, "I remember someone shooting me,"
Your Dad says, "and then I wasn't able to breathe."
God says, "You were a selfless man. You fought and died for your children. We all watched from above. You are a Chaplain, a genuine... man of God."
Your Dad nods.
Your Dad nods.
Your Dad says, "I tried to defend my children, God, but I couldn't."
God says, "I am not a loving God. I am a vengeful one. My heart stirred when you fell to the ground for the last time."
God says, "I believe it is time for the second coming."
Your Dad screams!
Your Dad gasps.
God says, "I believe... that you will be my servant."
Your Dad says, "You mean"
Your Dad says, "I will become"
Your Dad asks, "Dad Christ?"
God says, "That's right."
Your Dad screams!
God says, "Dad Christ."
God says, "More specifically, Your Dad Christ."
Your Dad says, "I sure will have a lot of kids to take care of then."
God asks, "What do you need?"
Your Dad says, "I need nothing but a fish and some bread."
Your Dad says, "I already have a big glowy sword and a matcho outlook on fighting."
God says, "In that case, hang on."
God says, "God, ironically, has to ask for a favour upstairs."
Your Dad says, "Ah, well sometimes you do have to ask Cthulu for the darker objects, I understand."
Your Dad screams!
God says, "Bread and fish: the darkest items."
Your Dad nods.
Your Dad nods.
God says, "Take your items."
Your Dad says, "I hope my enemies see the error in their ways as I remove their limbs, forcibly."
You have added the loaf of elvis bread to the backpack.
You have added Fish-Fil-A to the backpack.
Your Dad nods.
God asks, "Are you ready to return?"
Your Dad says, "Yes God, I am ready for the second coming of Dad."
God exclaims, "You may be, but is the crew? May you strike at them furiously!"
Your Dad [145.9] exclaims, "Behold for Your Dad has arisen, and shown his true form as Your Dad Christ!"
Your Dad screams!
The sword is now active.
Your Dad attacks Anthony Evans in the chest with the cyalume saber!
... and lands a devastating hit!
Your Dad attacks Anthony Evans in the chest with the cyalume saber!
... and lands a devastating hit!
Your Dad attacks Anthony Evans in the right arm with the cyalume saber!
Anthony Evans's right arm flies off in a bloody arc!
Your Dad screams!
Your Dad flexes his muscles.
Your Dad flexes his muscles.

[Zamujasa]

THE LAW? has scanned Randy Archer!
5 chemical agents found.
fluorosurfactant - 2.00001
amanitin - 13.3334
venom - 9.99999
histamine - 107.2
synthetic flesh - 5.60001

Later...

Noah Buttes [145.9] asks, "RANDY IS STILL ALIVE?"
Noah Buttes [145.9] asks, "DESPITE THE FUCKING AMANITIN!?"

Noah Buttes [145.9] says, "ARCHER, YOU ARE THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON I NEED TO KILL"

Noah Buttes (played by Powmonkey) was a traitor!
Objective #1: Deactivate or destroy all Cyborgs on the station. If you end up borged, you do not need to kill yourself or be un-borged to win. Failed
Objective #2: Escape on the shuttle alive. Failed
The traitor has failed!


Randy Archer (played by Menias) was a traitor!
Objective #1: Annoy the unholy living shit out of Noah Buttes in any way you can. Success

I caught Noah shooting him with a syringe gun full of awful chemicals. Randy got up to 16gy of radiation and I ended up literally stuffing him to the gills with synthflesh, charcoal, and salbutimol to keep him from the brink of death. Twice. Three times. And he got pipebombed while making foaming agent to flush out the really awful stuff that last time.

I spent my entire round basically following Randy Archer and healing him from Noah's hellchems. The sheer frustration it drove Noah to...

[Weavel]

I post a lot of these but here's another

Grandpa Smith says, "Detective"
Greg Riff asks, "yes?"
Grandpa Smith says, "please remove this clown from my office"
Greg Riff shoots Unknown point-blank with .38 revolver!
Greg Riff fires .38 revolver at Unknown!
You are hit by the bullet!
You start bleeding!
You begin to recover.
Greg Riff has grabbed Unknown passively!
Greg Riff starts to put Unknown into the enzymatic reclaimer!
Greg Riff stuffs Unknown into the enzymatic reclaimer!
Grandpa Smith says, "Thanks"

[Weavel]

I post so much of this fucking tripe someone stop me

A mysterious force smites Isaac Kirkhope!
Isaac Kirkhope farts in Noah Buttes's face!
Ramon Taylor [145.9] says, "Gibs in the ring"
Noah Buttes [145.9] says, "DAMN IT KIRKHOPE"

[Haine]

[Conor12]

This is Conor The Doomed's favourite potato.

Wow thanks game, can't an Irishman play in peace?

[Haine]

Servant of a Smiling God [145.9] says, "RUN MY CULTISTS RUN"
Jenny Antonsson [145.9] exclaims, "THERE AIN'T A GOD BUT THE B-BALL, SUCKAS!"
Noah Buttes [145.9] says, "DAMN YOU JENNY"
Carter Best stammers, "Faaattherrr!"
Donald Keyes coughs.
Donald Keyes exclaims, "Should this chapel be destroyed, I die here!"
Jenny Antonsson successfully executes a Chaos Dunk!

[Spy_Guy]

Important notice:

The bee was killed by the horrible cultists, not me!

[AffableGiraffe]

PANIC

[Aesculus]

We broke certain things that we could break and made space.