Goonstation Fall 2025 Seasonal Contest

[artabeth]

Can we do something about the graffiti in the bathroom? That gang tag with the cat tails or question marks or whatever it is, creeps me out how it looks like it's gonna reach out and grab you. I keep complaining to the janitor, but the lazy dumbass says there's nothing there so I've been cleaning it up but someone redraws it as soon as I leave, and I'm starting to think we should just paint the whole room yellow so we can't see it anymore.

[starsylk]

The control rods stung as my hands pulled them free.

The flesh within hummed with glee as a deep blue light filled the room. 

My scream never reached my lips.

[Johncali123]

A message came over my security headset, "Where is everyone? We may have a situation."

I responded, "In the disposals area with a Lon Warren, he says he found a corpse."

As my body inexplicably began to give out, I heard one last thing, "Isn't that the guy we found dead in maints?"

[Garlic Bread]

I used to ponder to myself why humanity was capable of such cruelty as images of torture, pain and suffering constantly flooded my mind.

But when those men took my wife and daughter, I no longer needed to wonder privately to myself about the answer.

Because I'd found it, and I realized that it wasn't cruelty; it was duty.

[TexasSancho]

I heard "ALAKAZAM!" as their butts were torn from their bodies violently.

Their faces tortured and in agony; crying out for the sweet release of death.

Man, I love being a Wizard.

[Zargent]

I recieve my shipment of freshly aquired artifacs, I look happily at my PDA.
The radio buzzes and crackles;
Thank you for the artifacts!

[BillyBoBBizWorth]

"The Headless Ghost Barber And The Lizard's Date With No Hair"


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There I sat eternally, in that red Barbers chair, peering out the portal, with a waiting stare.

Then came behind, whines of a noisy wheeled chair, a ghost with no head, no eyes to glare.

It greeted me happily, starting to trim my scales fair, ready for the date, a date with no hair.
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Based on a actual recent Goon-station round

[Taylorstar]

The hydroponics bay was in full bloom with a wide arrange of fruits and vegetables when the captain visited.
"Hydroponics sure looks lively today! Any more vibrant and you will be giving my Bansai tree a run for its money" He exclaimed joyfully
Quietly in a corner a botanist inspected his tomatoes "I'll give you the run of your life" they muttered twisting the tomato from the vine "run coward".

[Solenoid]

Bought a Man Eater seed from a shady spy.

I decided to grow it, still don't know why.

Shucks, now the plant's eating some guy.

[Spyritdragon]

The darkness always comforted me, a gentle blanket of calm and sleep.

I just wish it didn't have eyes tonight.

And I really wish the lightswitch would work.

[BillyBoBBizWorth]

"Crusade Of The Pickles"


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NT sent the Pickles, to pickle left, to pickle right, to establish their righteous, Pickle-dom.

The Pickles choseth the Bar, and pickled everything in sight, the pickling crusade had just begun.

They needed a brine warrior, the Holy Pickle Knight, but the Pickle-Eater ate them, only just for fun.
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Based on a actual recent Goon-station round

[Mega Xero]

*cuts the safety wire*
address_1=02024900;access_code=13;command=secure_close
*screams*

[FlameArrow57]

The CE woke up screaming from a nightmare about the new NT Experimental Time Engine exploding, looking to his right as the engine lights blared red.

The CE woke up screaming from a nightmare about the new NT Experimental Time Engine exploding, looking to his right as the engine lights blared red.

The CE woke up screaming from a nightmare about the new NT Experimental Time Engine exploding, looking to his right as the engine lights blared red.

[Awe21]

A half dozen crew clamber and scream bloody murder around a shambling abomination.
Stopping, the creature turns to pause and admire a familiar face, a greyshirt in like costume.
They both laugh, Security screams, and the parade continues on into the darkness illumined only by taser fire.

[Nauticla-eX]

I always felt comfortable working with machines, even when we brought in new parts from who knows where.

At first, I was excited when we got a new cyborg docking station so I sat down and started to tinker with its wires and parts.

The more I dug in, the more my blood ran cold as the wires were so stringy, wet, red, and it wasn't oil they dripped when I felt the first incision into my wrist pull me in.