Best moments ever thread 2.0

[UrsulaMejor]

Spoiler!

Alison Paige lights her cigarette with her OWN flaming body. That's dedication! Or crippling addiction.
The blood tries to climb out of Alison Paige before sizzling away!
You REALLY crave some space drugs!
Alison Paige screams!
Alexander Hijin slips on the green vomit!
You have a pounding headache.
Mr. White slips on the green vomit!
Alison Paige twitches.
You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Hot!
You feel FUCKED UP!!!!!!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel a burning sensation in your throat...
You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
You feel a dull headache.
Mr. White says, "hey william"
Alison Paige flops on the floor like a fish.
Mr. White says, "hey"
Alison Paige shivers.
Alison Paige gasps.
You feel like shit!
Alison Paige shivers.
You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Hot!
You feel FUCKED UP!!!!!!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel a burning sensation in your throat...
You feel too chill!
You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
Alison Paige gasps.
You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
Your eyes itch.
Alison Paige sneezes.
Alison Paige shivers.
Alexander Hijin has analyzed Alison Paige's vitals.
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Hot!
You feel FUCKED UP!!!!!!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel a burning sensation in your throat...
So itchy!
You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Hot!
You feel FUCKED UP!!!!!!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel a burning sensation in your throat...
Your head hurts.
You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
Your head hurts.
You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You suddenly feel invigorated and guilty...
Hot!
You feel FUCKED UP!!!!!!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel a burning sensation in your throat...
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Hot!
You feel FUCKED UP!!!!!!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel a burning sensation in your throat...
You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Hot!
You feel FUCKED UP!!!!!!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel a burning sensation in your throat...
You hear a voice in your head... I'M GOING TO FUCKING STAB YOU!
Your eyes itch.
You are resting. Click 'rest' to toggle back to stand.
You feel a dull headache.
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Hot!
You feel FUCKED UP!!!!!!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel a burning sensation in your throat...
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Hot!
You feel FUCKED UP!!!!!!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel a burning sensation in your throat...
You hear a voice in your head... I have decided to take on a more aggressive attitude: if I don't see a sufficient amount of players on the server *and* active, I'm shutting it down until enough requests are made to put it back up. I don't give a rats ass how many different versions there are. You pick a side: me, or them. If you choose me, you better be here and not on any other servers. If you choose them, enjoy the horrible administration that ensues because of it. Thank you for wasting my time yet again.
Your eyes itch.
You feel a dull headache.
You can't breathe!
You REALLY crave some jenkem!
You feel nothing!
You feel horrible pain!
Alison Paige gasps.
Alison Paige shivers.
You feel a dull headache.
Alison Paige screams!
Alison Paige gasps.
You can't breathe!
Alison Paige sneezes.
Your stomach lurches painfully!
Alison Paige shivers.
You feel a dull headache.
You feel like you can't live without jenkem!
Alison Paige shivers.
Alison Paige gasps.

Alexander Hijin has analyzed Alison Paige's vitals.
Alison Paige gasps.
Alison Paige sneezes.
You would DIE for some jenkem right now!
Alison Paige gasps.
Alison Paige trembles.
Alison Paige groans.
Your stomach lurches painfully!
Alison Paige sneezes.
You feel like you can't live without jenkem!
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Hot!
You feel FUCKED UP!!!!!!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel a burning sensation in your throat...
You feel pretty chill.
Your head is killing you!
You would DIE for some jenkem right now!
Your eyes itch.
Alison Paige sneezes.
You suddenly feel invigorated and guilty...
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
HOLY FUCK!!!!
You feel FUCKED UP!!!!!!
Spicy!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
That tasted amazing!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel a burning sensation in your throat...
The blueish acidic substance stings you, but isn't concentrated enough to harm you!
The blood tries to climb out of Alison Paige before sizzling away!
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Hot!
You feel FUCKED UP!!!!!!
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
You feel slightly better, but for how long?
Holy shit, you start tripping balls!
You feel a burning sensation in your throat...
Alison Paige faints.
Alison Paige goes limp, their facial expression utterly blank.
Alison Paige drools.

Alison Paige faints.
Alison Paige goes limp, their facial expression utterly blank.
Alison Paige drools.

Alison Paige faints.
Alison Paige goes limp, their facial expression utterly blank.
Alison Paige drools.

Alison Paige faints.
Alison Paige goes limp, their facial expression utterly blank.
Alison Paige drools.

Alison Paige faints.
Alison Paige goes limp, their facial expression utterly blank.
Alison Paige drools.

Alison Paige faints.
Alison Paige goes limp, their facial expression utterly blank.
Alison Paige drools.

Alison Paige faints.
Alison Paige goes limp, their facial expression utterly blank.
Alison Paige drools.

(that last bit repeated until round end)

That was some joint.

[sartorius]

Now that is an effective anti-drug ad.

[atomic1fire]

I don't know if this qualifies but somebody on Polaris Station 13 wanted to settle a dispute between staff/players/etc about ranks on an asteroid colony map.

So somebody contacted NASA. (Yes, that NASA, the (American) National Aeronautics and Space Administration in charge of shooting rockets into outer space for science)

I'm not a polaris player but I thought this is kind of hilarious, and probably a minimal waste of taxpayer dollars. (Although it is educating somebody about space ranks)

https://github.com/PolarisSS13/Polaris/pull/2602

Via reddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/SS13/comments/5...ealism_in/

[Mageziya]

I've never considered SS13 to be used for serious level RP, but that is some hardcore RP.

Also vaguely reminds me of the Captain/HOS dispute we had the other day.

[Burrito Justice]

When Hephasto bought a ton of pizza and Don came in and wanted to be buried in Pizza. Then we fed it to him. All while KPOP was playing in the background.


Spoiler!

You try to feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the meatball pizza!
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You feed Don Geon the meatball pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the meatball pizza.
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pizza.
You feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
OOC: Nessixtyfive: so
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pizza.
Don Geon flops on the floor like a fish.
OOC: Burrito Justice: so much kpop
Announcement Computer [145.9] broadcasts, "Carver Strongboy has signed up as Boxer."
You try to feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
You feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza
Don Geon finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
OOC: Nessixtyfive: and thus dions disappeared
You try to feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
OOC: Nessixtyfive:
You feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
You feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the meatball pizza!
You feed Don Geon the meatball pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the meatball pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the pizza!
You feed Don Geon the pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pizza.
OOC: Leedopo: Is everything being unusually dark part of this update?
You try to feed Don Geon the pizza!
You feed Don Geon the pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pizza.
Don Geon says, "so much pizza"
You try to feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
You feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Don Geon says, "am i gonna die"
You feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Everett Roberts says, "Absolutely"
You feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
Everett Roberts shakes Don Geon, trying to wake them up!
OOC: Nessixtyfive: maetorchooo mannnnnenhsn
Don Geon says, "startin to feel really sweaty"
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the meatball pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the meatball pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You feed Don Geon the pepperoni pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the meatball pizza!
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You feed Don Geon the meatball pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the meatball pizza.
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the meatball pizza!
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You feed Don Geon the meatball pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the meatball pizza.
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the pizza!
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pizza.
You feed Don Geon the pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pizza.
You try to feed Don Geon the pizza!
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the pepperoni pizza!
Osiris Jones finishes eating the pepperoni pizza.
You feed Don Geon the pizza!
Don Geon finishes eating the pizza.
Osiris Jones takes a bite of the meatball pizza!

[Schwicky_Schwag]

  A crime against humanity, the universe, and Nanotrasen happened on #1 earlier.
Here's how it goes:

It started out as a normal round, Roman Lawhon joining as a pharmacist. He gets an idea to make a sitcom about multiple clones of himself. Cash Clewett, unknowingly assisting in defying the will of God, decides to help Roman by using some of Roman's blood and some Stable Mutagen to turn some monkeys turned human into him. Next thing we know, Roman brings up the fact he can literally marry himself once one of the monkeys are converted.

This is the beginning. Of the end.

Later, fake Lawhon decides to beat the shit out of the real one, and gets his head taken off, and later re-applied. Then, the tuxedo (for the real Lawhon), the dress (for the fake Lawhon), and the rings are bought. The universe, deciding to interrupt this unholy act before it can truly begin, starts up a wormhole storm. Roman Lawhon is warped away to the listening post, where he dies. A couple minutes after, an alert of a nuke being armed is broadcast, and Roman is respawned as a syndie, who turns himself into a wedding crasher, and shoots some dudes, then Osiris puts him into crit. The syndie then suicide bombs Osiris Jones, the only remnant being his sick as fuck HoS Beret. 

Then, the antag respawn begins.
And the RNG favored me.

As a new member of the Wizard's Federation, I write a note congratulating them on the horrendous crime.
Soon after giving them the letter of approval, the server had enough of this crime against humanity, and crashes.
Not only #1, but #2 as well.

That's the story about how Roman Lawhon killed both servers. 

[ChrisOniell69]

  That's the story about how Roman Lawhon killed both servers. 

Incredible.

[Burrito Justice]

That's the story about how Roman Lawhon killed both servers. 

And RP 1 was never seen ever again...

[The_Rain]

Maybe I shouldn't have saved the real Roman from being beaten down...

[Tom Clancy's Gay Ghost]

I had admin powers for one Ass Day round, where everybody was wizards. At least, they started as wizards. I discovered fun buttons and people started turning into drones, bears, wendigos and macho men with werewolf arms.

[atamusvaleo]

I started the round as MD with a clown mask in my bag.. I became inspired and decided to start a Patch Adam's medbay. I hired the clown to assist me and we cured everyone with laughter.

Spoiler!

Until there was a zombie outbreak.

Spoiler!

I managed to capture the zombie of Horse Honkington in the OR but when I tried to feed him, I fell prey to my own pet. Ended up as a clown mask wearing zombie.. Scary!

[aft2001]

I was pretty new to engineering, as I'd only been playing SS13 for a few days. I knew some of what I was doing though!

What happened was, well... I joined the game a bit late (about 5 minutes in), and when I went over to the engine, the hot loop had already been bombed. I was going to attempt repairs, even though I had no clue how to. Then, a man who I didn't really notice who was standing in the corner attacked me with a defibrillator then dragged me over to Plasma storage and shoved me in the freezer, leaving me to die of cardiac failure and the cold.

[sartorius]

I turned the sun gold. No big deal.

[DreamCarver]

I was pretty new to engineering, as I'd only been playing SS13 for a few days. I knew some of what I was doing though!

What happened was, well... I joined the game a bit late (about 5 minutes in), and when I went over to the engine, the hot loop had already been bombed. I was going to attempt repairs, even though I had no clue how to. Then, a man who I didn't really notice who was standing in the corner attacked me with a defibrillator then dragged me over to Plasma storage and shoved me in the freezer, leaving me to die of cardiac failure and the cold.

Welcome to the game. One day you too will be the asshole wielding the defib.

[sartorius]

The Space NFL sent a giant football to the emergency shuttle to show their appreciation for my choice in music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kxv3YUicQ8