Best moments ever thread 2.0

[poland spring]

Just had a round where everyone was a wizard, much wizardly combat was had. However I was the Gun Wizard and even though the only spell I had that would work on other wizards was the cluwne one I managed to strike fear into the hearts of blue robed nerds. Blobs invaded and we tried to escape on the shuttle but I blew everyone up with a rocket

[VictorMAngoStein]

The borgs aboard the Destiny decided to have fun and grow some highly potent weed. HoS came by and wasn't having any of it, giving the exact order "it better not be here when I come back." Following those literal instructions, we proceeded to move our base of operations to the bridge. After THAT got sniffed out, we began a high stakes game of hide-and-seek with the hydro trays, ending in the stash being shoved into the HoS' bedroom.

Osiris Jones says "ROOBOOOOOOOOTS"
J.R.D.N.L.W.S.N. states "GET PUNKED HATMAN"

how come the borgs never do anything this funny when I'm on?  Either they ruin my traitor round or go on silent killing sprees after the AI gets subverted

[Frank_Stein]

The borgs aboard the Destiny decided to have fun and grow some highly potent weed. HoS came by and wasn't having any of it, giving the exact order "it better not be here when I come back." Following those literal instructions, we proceeded to move our base of operations to the bridge. After THAT got sniffed out, we began a high stakes game of hide-and-seek with the hydro trays, ending in the stash being shoved into the HoS' bedroom.

Osiris Jones says "ROOBOOOOOOOOTS"
J.R.D.N.L.W.S.N. states "GET PUNKED HATMAN"

https://youtu.be/lbEfV05tJz8

[Camnui]

https://gyazo.com/78b1cb21eac040cc878ad16c5e6cacae

https://gyazo.com/7eddaef746bc1d3f8bba18c70d9e4da4

Welcome to the world of hellish nightmare ghosts.

[Arborinus]

That time we somehow duplicated the russian revolver...



And no one could drop their revolver so we all chose the easy way out...

[UrsulaMejor]

http://puu.sh/raOx5/15c5fa0945.png

Had a round where I DJ'd and interviewed several guests. The studio got bombed and we got space suits and came back. Then it exploded a gain. To recap:

1) I interviewed a sentient egg, that exploded in the first attack.

2) I interviewed a skeleton ambassador, who knew the secrets of the vending machine conspiracy, then turned into a dog.

3) I interviewed a scientist, who made imperfect werewolf serum, and died of self-poisoning.

4) I interviewed a traitor, who showed off his gear, and then tested out a SEED on the studio (pictured).

All in all it was a good time.

[APARTHEID]

This is a steel instrument neck and steel instrument body and steel instrument mouthpiece and steel instrument bell and steel instrument neck and steel instrument body and steel instrument body and steel instrument bell and steel instrument bell and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument mouthpiece and steel instrument neck and steel instrument body and steel instrument bell and steel instrument mouthpiece and steel instrument neck and steel instrument bell and steel instrument body and steel instrument mouthpiece and steel instrument bell and steel instrument neck and steel instrument body and steel instrument body and steel instrument body and steel instrument body and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument body and steel instrument bell and steel instrument bell and steel instrument bell and steel instrument mouthpiece and steel instrument neck and steel instrument bell and steel instrument body and steel instrument mouthpiece and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument bell and steel instrument bell and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument body and steel instrument bell and steel instrument neck and steel instrument mouthpiece assembly.

[Mageziya]

I thought this was SS13, not Dwarf Fortress.

[Grumpchkin]

This is a steel instrument neck and steel instrument body and steel instrument mouthpiece and steel instrument bell and steel instrument neck and steel instrument body and steel instrument body and steel instrument bell and steel instrument bell and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument mouthpiece and steel instrument neck and steel instrument body and steel instrument bell and steel instrument mouthpiece and steel instrument neck and steel instrument bell and steel instrument body and steel instrument mouthpiece and steel instrument bell and steel instrument neck and steel instrument body and steel instrument body and steel instrument body and steel instrument body and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument body and steel instrument bell and steel instrument bell and steel instrument bell and steel instrument mouthpiece and steel instrument neck and steel instrument bell and steel instrument body and steel instrument mouthpiece and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument bell and steel instrument bell and steel instrument neck and steel instrument neck and steel instrument body and steel instrument bell and steel instrument neck and steel instrument mouthpiece assembly.

Plot twist, that makes a saxophone.

[Grek]

The funny thing is, Dwarf Fortress just added procedurally generated instruments too.

[Grumpchkin]

The funny thing is, Dwarf Fortress just added procedurally generated instruments too.

Considering the forgotten beasts that have been generated I fear for the sanity of all Dorfs.
If the game can generate a giant mouthless Penguin that somehow still says the name of anyone it kills I can barely think of the instruments it can generate.

[Mageziya]

The funny thing is, Dwarf Fortress just added procedurally generated instruments too.

I mentioned that in more reference to the recursive nightmare glitch-artifacts that you can make in DF sometimes.

[Avack]

Had a very good round on Destiny yesterday. It came out a bit long so I've separated it into spoilers.
Spoiler!

Yesterday I was captain on Destiny, watching the place fill up. While at first the crew was only a handful of people, the ship gradually filled. Notable arrivals were Cash Clewett the HoP and Nadia Kilbride the HoS.

Fair soon Cash started living up to his name by filling up the budget. I made it very clear to him that I didn't know how he was doing it. In fact, I also didn't know what happened to the remains of the ill-looking fellow after the RD somehow got them to Research. And I definitely didn't know what had happened to that corpse I dragged to cloning which went missing while its previous owner was in the cloning pod, and the thing I didn't know about the most was what Cash was doing in the operating theatre that required so much privacy. Hey, he was making good money, why would I complain?

For a good while nothing much happened, the only relevant thing to this story being that Cash kept dropping tapes of "budget meetings". Whatever they were for, they didn't stop people from finding his stash of human heads. I kept well away, simply noting to the HoS that if there was a trial I wanted to be there. Eventually the case seemed to dry up and Cash was left to wander freely, which I decided not to think too hard about.

Spoiler!

The point at which things became strange was when I was in a "town hall" meeting hosted by Roco Berry, regional director, where I started getting very strange PDA messages. The sender was an "Unknown External User", who just about managed to tell me they had been trapped somewhere for days without the clearance to leave, after which their signal dropped. I told the full story over the command radio channel before heading to the chapel to collect volunteers for a search party, when things became even stranger. The external user started sending bridge announcements. Soon the messages resumed, talking about markerlight and ascension and fallen brothers. I told the full story to the crew, feeling that this was now a matter of ship-wide importance. Moments later, just before a solar flare, I got a final message: whatever this thing was, it had a host.

After the flare finished I started hearing reports from Everett Roberts, Medical Doctor, that Nadia was acting strangely, swearing at him and running into Sec. I found her sealing herself in, building walls and shouting about being infected and needing isolation. I tried desperately to get her to explain but got nothing but incoherent shouting. I broke into Security with an RCD and found she had retreated to the brig and had taken arms with a laser gun. Hiding around the corner, I saw somebody new. Cash. With his reddish suit and his hands covered in blood, he demanded to record all this. He climbed into the chute. I didn't see Nadia, but I saw Cash Clewett standing there. And I heard her screaming over the radio, saying she was dying. Soon, Cash turned to me. He said he was God. He said he could not die. He said they had made him immortal. I asked him who. "The people I killed".

Spoiler!

It was all a blur after that, but I remember I went to the bridge. The AI was just shrapnel. I called the shuttle, and I left the bridge. Then I heard Cash over the command radio, he was saying he had something for me. I found him in the bridge, and I refused to enter. Then, completely out of the blue, a streaker with a stun baton stunned Clewett, letting me cuff him. It ended up with three of us in the bridge: Me, Cash and Cluncho McChunk the Geneticist. In hindsight, I don't know what Cluncho was doing there. In between the streaker interrupting us Cash told me to open a locker in the corner. It was full of body parts. I did not recognise many of the names. Then Cash told me to fetch his briefcase from the corner. Inside were the two budget tapes. As soon as I started to play it I realised just what Cash Clewett was. It was a monologue, a rambling stream of conciousness, and it was all about murder. At first, I just stood there. Cluncho realised that Cash had run out of air in his tank and disconnected it, but by that point he was already dying if I didn't get him help. I didn't.

Near the end of the first tape, as I found out what had happened to that QM to give him treads and one eye missing, I told the crew everything. I told them it was all my fault, that I knew he was selling organs, that I did nothing to stop it. I told them I was sorry. And I told them they wouldn't see me again.

As the shuttle reached Centcomm, Cash breathed his last breath. It was laughter. And I was glad I had an egun, because I had a very good use for it.

There was not a single traitor that round.

[sartorius]

Dr Floorpills in: "That time I became the most radioactive person on the station."

So I'm fooling around in the smelter with materials, and I've picked up a demonic pen along the way. I find a red contract lying on the floor so I sign it. I get a message saying "You feel like you could take a shotgun blast to the face!" Naturally, security refused to shoot me in the face with shotguns, so I grabbed some erebite and made a jumpsuit out of it. The erebite was irradiating other crewmen who picked it up to the point of death, but I was still in the green while holding it, so I decided to make it into a butt-erebite jumpsuit and stroll around with it. Finding that the crew were intent on p playing the unsafe game "let's toss lighters at the radioactive guy with an erebite jumpsuit," I decided to gather up some radioactive slag pizza sheets and place them in a relatively unused section of the station. Strolling back and forth, it wasn't long until I started mutating at an incredible rate. First came obesity, then blindness, then muteness, and then everything else. I remained at green. Then I recieved an admin pm along the lines of "How are you not dead?" I explained my situation and kept strolling over the tiles. Eventually the mutations stopped giving effects, simply saying "you mutate" and having nothing happen. The admin sends another pm. Apparently I hit the limit of radiation anything in the game could have, a whopping 44gy. Of course, I was functionally useless, having EVERY bad mutation in the game by this point, so I blindly stumbled around, unable to hear, see, speak, or breathe due to massive holes caused by traitors and my inability to equip anything. I also lacked shoes. I passed out frequently due to the mutations and tripped onto glass shards, which made me explode violently, and this was coupled with me teleporting randomly. I eventually died in an airless escape hallway, body vaporized from... something. There was literally no trace of me left.
And that's how I got a statue of me made of highly radioactive slag in the smelter.

[Noah Buttes]

Dr Floorpills in: "That time I became the most radioactive person on the station."

So I'm fooling around in the smelter with materials, and I've picked up a demonic pen along the way. I find a red contract lying on the floor so I sign it. I get a message saying "You feel like you could take a shotgun blast to the face!" Naturally, security refused to shoot me in the face with shotguns, so I grabbed some erebite and made a jumpsuit out of it. The erebite was irradiating other crewmen who picked it up to the point of death, but I was still in the green while holding it, so I decided to make it into a butt-erebite jumpsuit and stroll around with it. Finding that the crew were intent on p playing the unsafe game "let's toss lighters at the radioactive guy with an erebite jumpsuit," I decided to gather up some radioactive slag pizza sheets and place them in a relatively unused section of the station. Strolling back and forth, it wasn't long until I started mutating at an incredible rate. First came obesity, then blindness, then muteness, and then everything else. I remained at green. Then I recieved an admin pm along the lines of "How are you not dead?" I explained my situation and kept strolling over the tiles. Eventually the mutations stopped giving effects, simply saying "you mutate" and having nothing happen. The admin sends another pm. Apparently I hit the limit of radiation anything in the game could have, a whopping 44gy. Of course, I was functionally useless, having EVERY bad mutation in the game by this point, so I blindly stumbled around, unable to hear, see, speak, or breathe due to massive holes caused by traitors and my inability to equip anything. I also lacked shoes. I passed out frequently due to the mutations and tripped onto glass shards, which made me explode violently, and this was coupled with me teleporting randomly. I eventually died in an airless escape hallway, body vaporized from... something. There was literally no trace of me left.
And that's how I got a statue of me made of highly radioactive slag in the smelter.

I am so glad I implemented that one contract.