Ideas of questionable quality

[Syd Sustain]

Writing "Elbereth" on a tile and standing on it makes mobs de-aggro/run away from you, but as players walk over the writing it becomes scuffed and loses its effect, in true Nethack style. Ideally, attacking a mob while standing on the tile would make its effects wane as well, "you feel like a hypocrite!"
(Maybe it could work against wizards, too? Do wizards adhere to roguelike rules since they're big nerds?)

[Tarmunora]

Nah to blocking wizards, @s never respect elbereth anyways

[Unknownity]

new wiz spell
You can summon a random hostile critter on a tile of your choice

[Ryumi]

Farting while standing over Beepsky makes you fart on him, and pisses him off into trying to arrest you as if you had attacked him.

edit: Oh, and superfarting leads to an increased infraction level.

[Mouse]

Killing a baby seal sends you to hell when you die. If it's bad enough to ruin Spacemas it's bad enough for indeterminate damnation.

[Mouse]

If you're wearing a monocle and you witness something shocking (like someone biblefarting or a wendigo), it should fly off in a random direction.

[Frank_Stein]

When you're completely naked (no items on you at all, even in hand) you should be slightly faster and be harder to grab

[Superlagg]

When you're completely naked (no items on you at all, even in hand) you should be slightly faster and be harder to grab

Especially if you're oiled up. Dump oil on yourself to become more difficult to grab, reduce cooldowns and increase damage when using wrestling belts, decrease damage taken and add in a chance to block and reposte attacks made by wrestlers (based on your greasiness in relation to theirs, and increase how far you slide when you slip cus you're covered in oil, idiot. Increased effects with lube!

[Technature]

When you're completely naked (no items on you at all, even in hand) you should be slightly faster and be harder to grab

Especially if you're oiled up. Dump oil on yourself to become more difficult to grab, reduce cooldowns and increase damage when using wrestling belts, decrease damage taken and add in a chance to block and reposte attacks made by wrestlers (based on your greasiness in relation to theirs, and increase how far you slide when you slip cus you're covered in oil, idiot. Increased effects with lube!

So, in other words...

This?

[fosstar]

Killing a baby seal sends you to hell when you die.  If it's bad enough to ruin Spacemas it's bad enough for indeterminate damnation.

Completely supported if there's a 10% chance for the big S himself to come up and drag you into hell when you murder the seal.

[Mouse]

Using a pen on a photo of yourself should autograph it.

[cyberTripping]

Mimes should get emotes promoted to the same boldness as normal speech (rather than being greyed out.) However, their screams should always be silent. It feels dirty to be able to audibly scream as a mime.

[Superlagg]

Completing your objectives should let you keep your Spacebux™ item™ even if you dont escape.

[Technature]

Anything that encourages Sec Officers to permabrig minor crimers gets a no from me.

[Mouse]

The Cairngorm's phone should have an answering machine.