Sham Poo's Humble HoS App
#1
Warning: Giant post ahead. Your head may blow off, proceed with caution

ArrPee Name: Sham Poo, Shame Pooe, Slam Poo, Ham Poo, Damn Poo.

BYOND Name: NitrousProGamer

If referred, by whom: Spacemarine The Ninth, Marquesas and Bubba the Bubs

Hours of availability: GMT +1 I usually play between 15:30 to 22:45 Monday-Friday. (no I'm not going to convert it to you heathen AM/PM people)

Reason for applying
So yea, I guess it's my turn to write down some fancy words taken straight from the dictionary, or any of the many hilarious misspellings of the words grief and fart. Ahem:

To say the least, the time I've spent on the (in)famous Space Station 13, has been rather bumpy. The game, has had its ups and downs. But It's one of the few games that I can play for a long period of time without getting bored of, not because of the game mechanics, or the robust combat system - because I know pretty much everything there is to know about it - but because of the community, because of the great time we've had together. Because of all the twisted and/or insane characters in the game, that's what makes this game so much different than pretty much every other game on the planet.
You see, one thing that amazes me about this game is its ability to make things like dying fun, (or at least less shit) SS13 is one of the few games where I can die, and not care about it at all. Sure, I can get a little grumpy when some grifehead decides to be a mean jerk to me and kill me with a baton, but nothing too serious. I do not think it is worth getting mad over a game, that was once about poo and vomit.
I want to become a HoS because I want to help those new players who chose to be a security officer for their first round. I don't necessarily want to become a HoS for my own winning, because to be honest, I do not feel being a HoS makes you any different from anybody else, except from a job position, that's rarely even occupied. I want to become a HoS to become an example for everyone else, to reduce and/or stop any harmful griff that may be going on. I believe in people's freedom, and know how annoying it is for folks to be locked in a cell for 15+ minutes, because I've tried that, multiple times even. And I'd do my best to keep my fellow players from suffering the same faith. I do not believe that the cells should be used unless it is a true trouble-maker, I would personally never use the brig-cell because I got farted on, or even some cases of violence. There's always another way to keep people from doing dumb shit, just a quick little talk, or maybe even a donut. That will more often than not make them stop any shittiness they may be doing.
Execution is dumb, and IMO should only ever be used against nuke-operatives, because they're jerks most (read: all) of the time. Other kind of antagonist I would much rather have donated to scientific projects, or at least make a fun and original execution, cuz the electric chair/gibber is getting old. In my eyes, the Head of Security's job isn't to catch traitors erry day, but rather to keep the security force in line, and away from toolboxes and other harmful objects. But also to keep the crews morale up, and make sure they're entertained, to prevent any assistant revolutions that boredom might have caused.
I have got to admit though, I am not the greatest player in the world, by any stretch of the imagination, nor am I especially robust, I've done some p. terrible stuff in the past. But I have learned from my mistakes,
I feel like I have come a long way since I first started playing this game, learned the Do's and Dont's, and how to not be a shitty crewmember/security officer(/HoS?)

Detailed security experience:
Another day, another round. This time I was a security officer, and I was equipped with a cool as(s) fuck stunbaton and taser. Although my excitement didn't last very long because, suddenly all the lights blew, and my security partner turned pale, and started to moan like a madman. Out of nowhere a Spacker-12 appeared alongside with some wooden boards and a ammo-pack. I quickly wrestle my way past the HHHUUUUNNNGGGRRRYYY zombie, while I picked up the filled Spacker-12, I took my handcuffs out of my pockets, and shot down the poor zombie, he was just hungry after all frown. People were panicking. Me and my HoS mate were now trying to barricade ourselves against those mean (and smelly) zaambiees. A friendly borg was looking for refuge against the marauding zombies outside, and as we couldn't say no to a afro-wielding brobot, we decided to let him in. Meanwhile our zombie friend had woken up from his sleep, and was already having a conversation with our beloved afro-borg, who was also busy trying to sell it donuts, and beer. but, in its attempt to sell it, the borg had accidentally let the zombie out of its cell. The hungry chased the HoS around for a while, wounding him in the progress. But I managed to get a couple of lucky hits in on it, and crit it again. Desperate to heal up my comrade, the HoS, I took off to get some medical supplies from medbay, but it had been burned down to the ground, by survivors who was unlucky enough to get overrun by zombies. i grabbed a fire extinguisher and fought my way through the fire, got a medkit and got back to the wounded HoS.

Your opinion on Shrek:
I like Ostaf's drawings of Shrek better than the movies.

Previous Bans
one or two chat-related tempbans
Temp for gibbing a person who was alive
A five minute ban for challenging a ban shark to a competition. I lost. Another five minute ban for suiciding on round start (i never really like being a miner that much)
Note: most of these bans were from when I first really started playing SS13, and still hadn't learned the almighty space manners. Sorry if i missed some.


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