Goonhub
04-21-2013, 10:08 PM
Welp.
Just finished my best-yet traitor round on #3.
Started the round as an Assistant in the chapel as Rick Taylor and put on the skull mask (HUEHUEHUE), realized I was a traitor, bought and used the DNA Injector because I didn't know what it did, turned me into Aiden James. My objective was to steal the HoS's jumpsuit and escape on the shuttle alive.
Simple enough.
I go to Security, emag the doors and lockers in full view of a sec officer whose name I can't remember for the life of me. He literally just *frowns and says 'please stop emagging stuff, we can't close the doors and stop people from running in here'. In less than ten seconds, I've made off with the jumpsuit, a stolen baton, and a plate of spaghetti.
The next thing I knew, there was a miner running up to me in a deserted hallway, trying to disarm me. I say fuck it and beat him to death with the baton. I've just about finished when another guy runs up.
Then another.
And another.
By the time a single Security officer happens to arrive, I'm standing bloodsoaked in a pile of 3 corpses, and am in the middle of caving in the head of a fourth victim. Whipping out a flashbang, I toss it and sprint downwards pass the airbridge, only to clothesline the Captain. I hit him again, knocking him out, and drag him down the hallway by the hair with one hand while smashing his head in with the other.
I drag him into maint like a bear about to devour its kill and finish turning his face into strawberry cake mix. I nab his ID and thermal goggles when I see his security headset.
I put it on.
George Manroe [145.9] says, "MY SPINE"
Patrick Stroh [135.9] says, "Aidan James stole a bunch of riot armor and equipment and passed it out to the crew, like some kind of fucked up Santa Claus."
Dotty Spud [135.9] says, "Aidan just dragged him into maint, dunno where the fuck he is now.'
Aidan James [145.9] says, "GEE CAPTAIN YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD"
Aidan James [145.9] says, "IS THAT A STUN BATON BROKEN OFF IN YOUR HEAD?"
Aidan James [145.9] asks, "WHOOPS, DID I DO THAT?"
Aidan James [145.9] says, "SILLY ME"
Aidan James [145.9] says, "BUTTERFINGERS. YOU KNOW."
I've just finished my shenanigans when an Assistant wielding Barkley's Basketball runs up and tries to disarm me. I dodge and get a few good whacks in before his Security guard in tow arrives and tries to tase me. Running away through the tunnels, I open the door to see a guardbuddy, Beepsky, and several onlookers. Clubbing the one nearest to me in the face, I run over him, dodge the robots and sprint down the hallway. I evade the taser shots and whack the sec officer in the face. I manage to get a few licks in before the assistant and guardbuddies chase me further down the hall, towards engineering. I chuck incendiary grenades over my shoulder and run back and forth from hallway to hallway, eventually resulting in 6 people and 3 securitrons chasing me. The AI ended up triggering the firelocks, sealing me in a small corridor. Dodging guardbuddies left and right, I injured a few people before I was tased by beepsky and furiously gangbeaten to death. I succumbed and proceeded to laugh my ass off.
But it wasn't over yet.
Strelok M.O, the same man who I'd beat down and had chased me, cloned me in genetics. I figured he'd only brought me back to kill me again, but I was mistaken. He pulled me out when I was only half-done clothing, jammed some Alkysine down my throat and dragged me out the door, the reason being that, somehow, a goddamn full-on syndicate assault pod had flew up to the window and shot the shit out of genetics with shotgun turrets. Narrowly dodging buckshot, I was pulled to the Brig, clothed in prison orange, handcuffed and tossed in the permacell, with Strelok giving public radio orders to the officers not to let me out.
Yet, somehow, even this wasn't enough.
The power failed. Maybe the generator broke, a powersink was placed, a wire cut, I don't know, but somehow, the lights went out.
This is where a man named Nemo Fish comes into our little story.
You see, Nemo was a ghost hunter. It said so on his ID. We conversed for a while. He asked me if I had seen any ghosts, and I said yes, there was one in my cell. It resided in the computer; a ghost in the machine, if you will, but it could only be triggered upon two people entering the cell. Crowbarring the door open, I told him that, since the power was out, we could not communicate with it. Deciding to talk to the engineers, we stepped into the hallway, where my escape was immediately noted over the radio, much to Strelok's annoyance:
Strelok M.O [145.9] says, "YOU LET HIM OUT?"
Strelok M.O [145.9] says, "JESUS CHRIST"
Strelok M.O [145.9] says, "YOU PEOPLE HAD ONE FUCKING JOB"
Strelok M.O [145.9] says, "DO NOT LET THE CRAZY PSYCHO SYNDIE KILLER ESCAPE"
Nemo was utterly traumatized by Strelok's declaration that I was a traitor. I comforted him, assuring him that Strelok was nothing more than a 'big ol' meanie'.
Well, as they say, speak of the devil.
Barreling down the corridor came Strelok.
He was not in the best of moods.
Turning around, I immediately clubbed him square in the face. He dropped like a sack of bricks, and I proceeded to whack him in the head a good 7 - 8 times, him screaming for help all the while. Backup arrived, and despite my best efforts, Nemo and I were taken into custody. His screamed, tearful apologies as he was handcuffed, and I dragged down the hallway to the brig, will forever haunt me.
I was handcuffed and placed in the Port-A-Brig, as Strelok had ordered me to be placed on the shuttle.
Give any person in the world the order to take a protable stasis chamber containing a handcuffed human and move it 50 yards down a few corridors, and they'll have as much trouble as snapping their fingers.
Apparently, with me, even this is a mess.
Oh, it was pretty good for a while. But it didn't last long. it didn't last five minutes.
Approaching escape, someone had emagged two securitrons. They immediately stunned and handcuffed the sec officer who was dragging me to the shuttle. For over six minutes, I sat there, waiting for her to get back up and pull me on-board. Eventually, she did, and I was shunted between the wall and the console.
Packed in by the sheer amount of people, she was forced to stand there right next to me.
I couldn't move.
I couldn't hit.
All I could do was speak.
So, I spoke.
I quoted a certain bible passage, which I shall not name. it wasn't very long. It wasn't very special. But by the time I was finished, she had stopped looking around.
She simply stared at me.
The shuttle docked.
Game over, yeeeeeeeeeeah.
Just finished my best-yet traitor round on #3.
Started the round as an Assistant in the chapel as Rick Taylor and put on the skull mask (HUEHUEHUE), realized I was a traitor, bought and used the DNA Injector because I didn't know what it did, turned me into Aiden James. My objective was to steal the HoS's jumpsuit and escape on the shuttle alive.
Simple enough.
I go to Security, emag the doors and lockers in full view of a sec officer whose name I can't remember for the life of me. He literally just *frowns and says 'please stop emagging stuff, we can't close the doors and stop people from running in here'. In less than ten seconds, I've made off with the jumpsuit, a stolen baton, and a plate of spaghetti.
The next thing I knew, there was a miner running up to me in a deserted hallway, trying to disarm me. I say fuck it and beat him to death with the baton. I've just about finished when another guy runs up.
Then another.
And another.
By the time a single Security officer happens to arrive, I'm standing bloodsoaked in a pile of 3 corpses, and am in the middle of caving in the head of a fourth victim. Whipping out a flashbang, I toss it and sprint downwards pass the airbridge, only to clothesline the Captain. I hit him again, knocking him out, and drag him down the hallway by the hair with one hand while smashing his head in with the other.
I drag him into maint like a bear about to devour its kill and finish turning his face into strawberry cake mix. I nab his ID and thermal goggles when I see his security headset.
I put it on.
George Manroe [145.9] says, "MY SPINE"
Patrick Stroh [135.9] says, "Aidan James stole a bunch of riot armor and equipment and passed it out to the crew, like some kind of fucked up Santa Claus."
Dotty Spud [135.9] says, "Aidan just dragged him into maint, dunno where the fuck he is now.'
Aidan James [145.9] says, "GEE CAPTAIN YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD"
Aidan James [145.9] says, "IS THAT A STUN BATON BROKEN OFF IN YOUR HEAD?"
Aidan James [145.9] asks, "WHOOPS, DID I DO THAT?"
Aidan James [145.9] says, "SILLY ME"
Aidan James [145.9] says, "BUTTERFINGERS. YOU KNOW."
I've just finished my shenanigans when an Assistant wielding Barkley's Basketball runs up and tries to disarm me. I dodge and get a few good whacks in before his Security guard in tow arrives and tries to tase me. Running away through the tunnels, I open the door to see a guardbuddy, Beepsky, and several onlookers. Clubbing the one nearest to me in the face, I run over him, dodge the robots and sprint down the hallway. I evade the taser shots and whack the sec officer in the face. I manage to get a few licks in before the assistant and guardbuddies chase me further down the hall, towards engineering. I chuck incendiary grenades over my shoulder and run back and forth from hallway to hallway, eventually resulting in 6 people and 3 securitrons chasing me. The AI ended up triggering the firelocks, sealing me in a small corridor. Dodging guardbuddies left and right, I injured a few people before I was tased by beepsky and furiously gangbeaten to death. I succumbed and proceeded to laugh my ass off.
But it wasn't over yet.
Strelok M.O, the same man who I'd beat down and had chased me, cloned me in genetics. I figured he'd only brought me back to kill me again, but I was mistaken. He pulled me out when I was only half-done clothing, jammed some Alkysine down my throat and dragged me out the door, the reason being that, somehow, a goddamn full-on syndicate assault pod had flew up to the window and shot the shit out of genetics with shotgun turrets. Narrowly dodging buckshot, I was pulled to the Brig, clothed in prison orange, handcuffed and tossed in the permacell, with Strelok giving public radio orders to the officers not to let me out.
Yet, somehow, even this wasn't enough.
The power failed. Maybe the generator broke, a powersink was placed, a wire cut, I don't know, but somehow, the lights went out.
This is where a man named Nemo Fish comes into our little story.
You see, Nemo was a ghost hunter. It said so on his ID. We conversed for a while. He asked me if I had seen any ghosts, and I said yes, there was one in my cell. It resided in the computer; a ghost in the machine, if you will, but it could only be triggered upon two people entering the cell. Crowbarring the door open, I told him that, since the power was out, we could not communicate with it. Deciding to talk to the engineers, we stepped into the hallway, where my escape was immediately noted over the radio, much to Strelok's annoyance:
Strelok M.O [145.9] says, "YOU LET HIM OUT?"
Strelok M.O [145.9] says, "JESUS CHRIST"
Strelok M.O [145.9] says, "YOU PEOPLE HAD ONE FUCKING JOB"
Strelok M.O [145.9] says, "DO NOT LET THE CRAZY PSYCHO SYNDIE KILLER ESCAPE"
Nemo was utterly traumatized by Strelok's declaration that I was a traitor. I comforted him, assuring him that Strelok was nothing more than a 'big ol' meanie'.
Well, as they say, speak of the devil.
Barreling down the corridor came Strelok.
He was not in the best of moods.
Turning around, I immediately clubbed him square in the face. He dropped like a sack of bricks, and I proceeded to whack him in the head a good 7 - 8 times, him screaming for help all the while. Backup arrived, and despite my best efforts, Nemo and I were taken into custody. His screamed, tearful apologies as he was handcuffed, and I dragged down the hallway to the brig, will forever haunt me.
I was handcuffed and placed in the Port-A-Brig, as Strelok had ordered me to be placed on the shuttle.
Give any person in the world the order to take a protable stasis chamber containing a handcuffed human and move it 50 yards down a few corridors, and they'll have as much trouble as snapping their fingers.
Apparently, with me, even this is a mess.
Oh, it was pretty good for a while. But it didn't last long. it didn't last five minutes.
Approaching escape, someone had emagged two securitrons. They immediately stunned and handcuffed the sec officer who was dragging me to the shuttle. For over six minutes, I sat there, waiting for her to get back up and pull me on-board. Eventually, she did, and I was shunted between the wall and the console.
Packed in by the sheer amount of people, she was forced to stand there right next to me.
I couldn't move.
I couldn't hit.
All I could do was speak.
So, I spoke.
I quoted a certain bible passage, which I shall not name. it wasn't very long. It wasn't very special. But by the time I was finished, she had stopped looking around.
She simply stared at me.
The shuttle docked.
Game over, yeeeeeeeeeeah.