Hypothetically speaking, what would happen if farts were removed?

[Mordent]

I'd have to kick people after I slip them instead of just farting in their face in order to assert dominance, which would probably escalate horrendously and mean I die a lot more.

<off-topic rant>

Go hug your pet or take a walk or something. Lotta pent up frustration in there, bud, if you react so vehemently to a sarcastic off-hand comment.