Goonhub
04-04-2017, 08:32 AM
Few days ago, I rolled a traitor Research Director. I figured I'd try out my new favorite dumb thing: Instakilling people with fueltanks full of acid. I half-filled two tanks with the acid precursors and heated them up to near their reaction point, looking to experiment, see if it would be enough to kill someone with half a tank. Just in case my plan didnt pan out, I put on a hellburn in Toxins for later on.
Soon I came across an Engineer. He was futzing with doors, ended up bolting Robotics shut for some reason. I asked him what he was up to, and he replied by smacking me with his toolbox. Rude! After I ran away, I got my flash ready and managed to corner him outside the sliding glass doors. The moment both of the trapped Roboticists were out of view, I flashed him and lit a half-tank of acid under him. It burned the daylights out of him, but he was still alive, so I shrugged and lit the other tank. Dead, as expected!
One of the Roboticists came around the corner moments after he died, and I asked them if he was giving them any trouble. Didn't get much of an answer, and the Roboticist wasn't too concerned that there was suddenly a dead Engineer where there used to be an alive one. I told them he died and dragged him into the morgue.
Then I got the idea to stitch his head onto a limbless monkey and revive him with SR! Took a while to track down some omnizine, eventually settling with eating a donk and drawing my blood, but I made a monkey potatoman in the end. Braindead, but it's the thought that counts.
At one point, I wandered into Telesci to see where everyone was, seeing as I hadn't found much else for crew the whole shift. Sure enough, a couple of nerds were sending dicks on vacation. Meh, not going to ruin their fun by getting beaten up by my employees. However, at that moment, the Captain's spare ID flew out of the mailbox! They were too busy dorking around on orbitz to care about it, so I took it and went to upgrade my ID. In a moment of brilliance, I made a few spare Captain-level adventure cards and tossed them at the telenerds, who appreciated it. Go them.
Halfway through the round, I had thoroughly run out of ideas, so I decided it was time to set the station on fire. With Toxins good and hot, I filled the inlet pipe with CO2, then filled the nearby pump with zillion-degree hellgas. Through the wonders of the Bridge Teleporter, I zapped it to the upper hookups and piped it through the vents. Within seconds, everything from Arrivals down to the Bar caught on fire -- including me. I popped a donk and crawled toward Medbay, eventually collapsing in the Router. A kindly Doctor came by and fed me a brainburger, to which I replied by flashing him and feeding him the rest of my acid.
I was now in the process of succumbing to kuru. With my last dying giggles, I ran toward the Engineering Storage, grabbed one of their air pumps, and died in the hallway. RIP. Ah well, had a good run.
Then someone cloned me! Was not expecting that! I thanked my savior, then piped more superheated CO2 to the rest of the station. Then I died, again. The end.
Soon I came across an Engineer. He was futzing with doors, ended up bolting Robotics shut for some reason. I asked him what he was up to, and he replied by smacking me with his toolbox. Rude! After I ran away, I got my flash ready and managed to corner him outside the sliding glass doors. The moment both of the trapped Roboticists were out of view, I flashed him and lit a half-tank of acid under him. It burned the daylights out of him, but he was still alive, so I shrugged and lit the other tank. Dead, as expected!
One of the Roboticists came around the corner moments after he died, and I asked them if he was giving them any trouble. Didn't get much of an answer, and the Roboticist wasn't too concerned that there was suddenly a dead Engineer where there used to be an alive one. I told them he died and dragged him into the morgue.
Then I got the idea to stitch his head onto a limbless monkey and revive him with SR! Took a while to track down some omnizine, eventually settling with eating a donk and drawing my blood, but I made a monkey potatoman in the end. Braindead, but it's the thought that counts.
At one point, I wandered into Telesci to see where everyone was, seeing as I hadn't found much else for crew the whole shift. Sure enough, a couple of nerds were sending dicks on vacation. Meh, not going to ruin their fun by getting beaten up by my employees. However, at that moment, the Captain's spare ID flew out of the mailbox! They were too busy dorking around on orbitz to care about it, so I took it and went to upgrade my ID. In a moment of brilliance, I made a few spare Captain-level adventure cards and tossed them at the telenerds, who appreciated it. Go them.
Halfway through the round, I had thoroughly run out of ideas, so I decided it was time to set the station on fire. With Toxins good and hot, I filled the inlet pipe with CO2, then filled the nearby pump with zillion-degree hellgas. Through the wonders of the Bridge Teleporter, I zapped it to the upper hookups and piped it through the vents. Within seconds, everything from Arrivals down to the Bar caught on fire -- including me. I popped a donk and crawled toward Medbay, eventually collapsing in the Router. A kindly Doctor came by and fed me a brainburger, to which I replied by flashing him and feeding him the rest of my acid.
I was now in the process of succumbing to kuru. With my last dying giggles, I ran toward the Engineering Storage, grabbed one of their air pumps, and died in the hallway. RIP. Ah well, had a good run.
Then someone cloned me! Was not expecting that! I thanked my savior, then piped more superheated CO2 to the rest of the station. Then I died, again. The end.