Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Superlagg]

My mindslave implant ran out of juice, leaving me with a medkit containing a mousetrapped blackpowder pipebomb. I thought about spacing it, but on my way to the airlock I ran into a Martian pretending to be human... very poorly. I called to the Martian, telling it to under no circumstances open the medkit I was about to toss it, that it would kill it if it opened it. I then tossed the Martian the trapped medkit.

It opened the medkit, exploded, and died.

Later, I huffed glowstick fluid until I mutated into a dead guy. The end.