Goonhub
01-17-2017, 09:51 AM
Not too long ago on Cog1, the monkeypit received a massive pile of machine guns. When I found this stash of shooters, I immediately filled every available slot in my backpack and stolen funnypack with assault rifles. I wanted to hand them out to the newly-cloned as souvenirs, but since the only person who got cloned was arrested before he even left medbay for waving around an assault rifle and that I couldn't spell souvenir, that plan didn't go far.
Time for plan B: Arm up and wander around aimlessly with a gun in each hand.
I went to look for the detective who took my patient's gun, hoping to provoke him into doing something interesting. I ran into him in one of the hallways, at which point he stopped me and told me to be careful with these things. Fair enough.
My parade of firepower took me into the bar where Harner's evil twin piledrove my liberties into handcuffblivion. As I sat there waiting for my freedoms to return, the chef came up to me and expressed his surprise that not only did I have one of the trickiest-to-find guns in space, but also that I had two of them! Little did he know that I'd end up whipping out another six trying to fill Harner's buddies with spacelead. I offered the chef one of my guns, but he was too Swedish to accept, so I thanked him for his time and moved on.
Moments later, I found our security guard! He asked me to pull over, so I kicked it into low-gear and led him on a leisurely chase through the hallways. He took careful aim with his tazer, but it was no match for my walking pace; his battery ran out and I was still strolling free as a spaceman should be. Then he took out his baton and started swinging, but much like his stungun, all it met was the floor. He managed to tag me with the baton eventually, but his technique was off, so he stunned himself instead. Hah.
The shuttle arrived, which gave me another idea: Bring a monkey on board! I dragged one of the gun-having monkeys onto the shuttle, then tossed all of my spare guns onto the floor so that we could show Centcom how much we love freedom. Someone slapped the monkey and immediately died, which prompted the detective to mow down one of the badguys. Someone else wanted to shoot the badguy too, but missed and filled the detective full of holes. I shrugged and open fired, to which I was plastered by someone else. Of the eight or so people on the shuttle, I think only the monkey survived.
Time for plan B: Arm up and wander around aimlessly with a gun in each hand.
I went to look for the detective who took my patient's gun, hoping to provoke him into doing something interesting. I ran into him in one of the hallways, at which point he stopped me and told me to be careful with these things. Fair enough.
My parade of firepower took me into the bar where Harner's evil twin piledrove my liberties into handcuffblivion. As I sat there waiting for my freedoms to return, the chef came up to me and expressed his surprise that not only did I have one of the trickiest-to-find guns in space, but also that I had two of them! Little did he know that I'd end up whipping out another six trying to fill Harner's buddies with spacelead. I offered the chef one of my guns, but he was too Swedish to accept, so I thanked him for his time and moved on.
Moments later, I found our security guard! He asked me to pull over, so I kicked it into low-gear and led him on a leisurely chase through the hallways. He took careful aim with his tazer, but it was no match for my walking pace; his battery ran out and I was still strolling free as a spaceman should be. Then he took out his baton and started swinging, but much like his stungun, all it met was the floor. He managed to tag me with the baton eventually, but his technique was off, so he stunned himself instead. Hah.
The shuttle arrived, which gave me another idea: Bring a monkey on board! I dragged one of the gun-having monkeys onto the shuttle, then tossed all of my spare guns onto the floor so that we could show Centcom how much we love freedom. Someone slapped the monkey and immediately died, which prompted the detective to mow down one of the badguys. Someone else wanted to shoot the badguy too, but missed and filled the detective full of holes. I shrugged and open fired, to which I was plastered by someone else. Of the eight or so people on the shuttle, I think only the monkey survived.