Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Noah Buttes]

Dr Floorpills in: "That time I became the most radioactive person on the station."

So I'm fooling around in the smelter with materials, and I've picked up a demonic pen along the way. I find a red contract lying on the floor so I sign it. I get a message saying "You feel like you could take a shotgun blast to the face!" Naturally, security refused to shoot me in the face with shotguns, so I grabbed some erebite and made a jumpsuit out of it. The erebite was irradiating other crewmen who picked it up to the point of death, but I was still in the green while holding it, so I decided to make it into a butt-erebite jumpsuit and stroll around with it. Finding that the crew were intent on p playing the unsafe game "let's toss lighters at the radioactive guy with an erebite jumpsuit," I decided to gather up some radioactive slag pizza sheets and place them in a relatively unused section of the station. Strolling back and forth, it wasn't long until I started mutating at an incredible rate. First came obesity, then blindness, then muteness, and then everything else. I remained at green. Then I recieved an admin pm along the lines of "How are you not dead?" I explained my situation and kept strolling over the tiles. Eventually the mutations stopped giving effects, simply saying "you mutate" and having nothing happen. The admin sends another pm. Apparently I hit the limit of radiation anything in the game could have, a whopping 44gy. Of course, I was functionally useless, having EVERY bad mutation in the game by this point, so I blindly stumbled around, unable to hear, see, speak, or breathe due to massive holes caused by traitors and my inability to equip anything. I also lacked shoes. I passed out frequently due to the mutations and tripped onto glass shards, which made me explode violently, and this was coupled with me teleporting randomly. I eventually died in an airless escape hallway, body vaporized from... something. There was literally no trace of me left.
And that's how I got a statue of me made of highly radioactive slag in the smelter.

I am so glad I implemented that one contract.