Pocket Pets!

[amaranthineApocalypse]

Hedgehog ($50)
Pocketable: no, bag only.
These timid creatures curl up every time you pick them up. Make sure to wear gloves when you do so, or you're going to give yourself some minor brute damage. And don't you dare throw them at other people when they're curled up like this! If you feed it an onion ring, it turns blue and does more damage when curled up. I wonder what happens if you give it seven emeralds too...

Inb4 clown tries to feed his pet hedgehog gin and sonic.

Petition to make hedgehogs explode when fed Gin and Sonic?