Goonhub
03-10-2013, 06:12 AM
Spigot the Bear, detective traitor, assigned to kill Silent Bob the Roboticist, Dr Kay the CE and Jack Swag the Sec officer. The HoP committed suicide in his office, and me and - as luck would have it - Silent Bob waited for the Captain to do something about it. As we were milling around, another traitor saw too good an opportunity to pass up and tossed a syndicate pipe bomb into our midst.
I ran as quickly as I could. Silent Bob was instantly splattered across the walls, the Captain's body was stolen by an enterprising traitor, and I succumbed just outside of the breached zone. I was dragged to genetics and cloned in short order, finding myself one of three Security staff still standing in a chaotic round. I tracked down the traitor that stole the Captain's body, bagging myself one Captain ID for the rest of the round.
The two security officers were Jack Crack and Jack Swag. This is important.
The engine was failing to provide enough power to the station, which provided a perfect excuse for me to home in on Dr Kay and question him for his miserable failure. He was the target I was most apprehensive about, but I find admins are usually pretty cool about not ratting you out when you're killing them. As luck would have it, again, I found him just standing braindead in the hall outside of engineering. I gently dragged him down to the escape airlocks.
All it took was a little shove. Goodbye, Dr Kay.
Everything seemed to be coming up Spigot, but my last target would prove difficult; Jack and Jack were working well as a team and were in constant communication. Eventually, Jack Crack found himself lost in the Void and needing help! He was stuck in the port-a-brig, and needed one of us to teleport him out!
Eagerly, I rushed to EVA with the intent of summoning the port-a-brig into space and killing Jack Crack by exposure. Me and Jack Swag combed the darkest corners of the station together in search of the lost remote. If only he were my target, I wistfully sighed. It would be so easy to dispose of him.
Eventually, Jack Crack was saved and the shuttle was called. Me and Jack Swag made it to the shuttle together, but Crack was nowhere to be found. He was missing at last.
It would have been so easy, I bitterly reflected, to dispose of Jack Swag at any time. One shot, one drag to the escape airlock, a quick bullshit explanation to a harassed crew that he was a changeling or something. But my real target, Jack Crack, was nowhere to be found.
He... he was the target Jack, ri-
Jack Swag never did understand why I was howling in fury all the way back to Centcom.
I ran as quickly as I could. Silent Bob was instantly splattered across the walls, the Captain's body was stolen by an enterprising traitor, and I succumbed just outside of the breached zone. I was dragged to genetics and cloned in short order, finding myself one of three Security staff still standing in a chaotic round. I tracked down the traitor that stole the Captain's body, bagging myself one Captain ID for the rest of the round.
The two security officers were Jack Crack and Jack Swag. This is important.
The engine was failing to provide enough power to the station, which provided a perfect excuse for me to home in on Dr Kay and question him for his miserable failure. He was the target I was most apprehensive about, but I find admins are usually pretty cool about not ratting you out when you're killing them. As luck would have it, again, I found him just standing braindead in the hall outside of engineering. I gently dragged him down to the escape airlocks.
All it took was a little shove. Goodbye, Dr Kay.
Everything seemed to be coming up Spigot, but my last target would prove difficult; Jack and Jack were working well as a team and were in constant communication. Eventually, Jack Crack found himself lost in the Void and needing help! He was stuck in the port-a-brig, and needed one of us to teleport him out!
Eagerly, I rushed to EVA with the intent of summoning the port-a-brig into space and killing Jack Crack by exposure. Me and Jack Swag combed the darkest corners of the station together in search of the lost remote. If only he were my target, I wistfully sighed. It would be so easy to dispose of him.
Eventually, Jack Crack was saved and the shuttle was called. Me and Jack Swag made it to the shuttle together, but Crack was nowhere to be found. He was missing at last.
It would have been so easy, I bitterly reflected, to dispose of Jack Swag at any time. One shot, one drag to the escape airlock, a quick bullshit explanation to a harassed crew that he was a changeling or something. But my real target, Jack Crack, was nowhere to be found.
He... he was the target Jack, ri-
Jack Swag never did understand why I was howling in fury all the way back to Centcom.