Goonhub
04-11-2016, 10:35 PM
This one happened quite some time ago in an older configuration of the station, but I just discovered the forums, and with it, the place to tell my tale.
I'm not sure if it's still there, but at some point a Russian Revolver was available often in the bar. I had prepared mightily for my first round as clown. I had seen many people run around, break things, and be annoying, and I wanted to try my best to be at the least entertaining and endearing.
I step off the arrival shuttle, peel my banana and pocket the fruit, keeping the peel in my hand as I wander into the bar. I can see the chef doing battle with an escaped monkey after failing to stab him onto a meat hook. I can tell his plan is to slog through the bar area and into the hallway to escape, so I quickly type my prepared joke to the barman.
Me: Hey barkeep, do you know why people love bananas so much?
Barkeep: Why?
With this, I toss my banana peel into the chef's path as he stumbles out of the kitchen. He slips and falls, giving the injured monkey time enough to catch up to him and continue beating him to death.
Me: Because they have A PEEL.
The bartender immediately screams, grabs the Russian Revolver, and blows his brains out.
As I am a clown, I cannot get behind the bar to stop the monkey from beating the chef to death.
And that is how I told a joke that managed to kill two people.
I'm not sure if it's still there, but at some point a Russian Revolver was available often in the bar. I had prepared mightily for my first round as clown. I had seen many people run around, break things, and be annoying, and I wanted to try my best to be at the least entertaining and endearing.
I step off the arrival shuttle, peel my banana and pocket the fruit, keeping the peel in my hand as I wander into the bar. I can see the chef doing battle with an escaped monkey after failing to stab him onto a meat hook. I can tell his plan is to slog through the bar area and into the hallway to escape, so I quickly type my prepared joke to the barman.
Me: Hey barkeep, do you know why people love bananas so much?
Barkeep: Why?
With this, I toss my banana peel into the chef's path as he stumbles out of the kitchen. He slips and falls, giving the injured monkey time enough to catch up to him and continue beating him to death.
Me: Because they have A PEEL.
The bartender immediately screams, grabs the Russian Revolver, and blows his brains out.
As I am a clown, I cannot get behind the bar to stop the monkey from beating the chef to death.
And that is how I told a joke that managed to kill two people.