Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Weavel]

Big bastard story

I was the Medical Doctor-turned-Captain that round. I think I'll chime in what it was like to be one of the living crew during that round.

I started off in Medbay, obviously. I had no real inclination towards being a helpful doctor, so I decided to go off on an adventure and build some sort of execution chamber. I got some welding fluid and managed to nab some beakers and igniters, and a radio signaller pair. I figured I was nearly done, so I headed back to Medbay.

I walked in, and all the walls separating Chemistry from Medbay were melted down. I figured I'd take advantage and made some lovely wall-melters myself. Suddenly, I hear that the Captain's being shot to death in Toxins.

Of course, the AI decided that the best way to save the crew from the man with the laser gun was to start shocking the doors.

This obviously did not entertain the HoS, who shouted at the AI for a bit and then made the arrest in Toxins. I wandered in to clone the Captain's body, until I found 15-unit neurotoxin pills in the Captain's pocket. Me and the HoS decided we'd clone him and then arrest him, hoping we might get some answers. as if, he went braindead and never returned

So from there, I become the new Replacement Captain. I geared up and started chatting with the HoS, when we realised that you, the HoP, were missing. This is where it all started to pick up and kick off.

There was a Miner on our channel, offering us Industrial Armour if we needed it. My execution chamber was ready, so me and the HoS went toe-to-toe with every fucker who acted up on station. Clean arrests, no deaths, all good. However, we started noticing more and more corpses around the station; disposals was pretty packed, the electric chair was constantly in use, and Robotics were screaming about lost brains. The HoS just caught someone clonking a guy across the head with an extinguisher, and our brig was getting full, so I was told I could start executions.

Then, just as I dragged our radbow traitor away to the chamber in the Warehouse...

AI states, "There is not someone breaking in to Modules from space."

It's Ken.
Naturally, this meant war.

I fired a few lasers through the gap, one which connected, and sprinted off to get myself a spacesuit. He promptly vanished, but then reappeared 10 minutes later to break into Botany from space. I tossed the radbow traitor into the execution chamber, but after another dull space patrol, I tossed my suit on the floor and gave up searching for Ken.

Then he walks past me.

I screamed my lungs out at the Detective, who had been repeatedly arresting someone who stole a taser for the last five minutes, and we went hunting. Said detective also found an unlocked PDA, and after what felt like the world's longest chase, we'd managed to catch both Ken and the other traitor, Chase.

I bucklecuffed the pair to the Security chairs. Between me, the HoS and the Security force, we'd finally managed to catch all the traitors on station. I figured it was about time for some lovely interrogation, with the Detective shouting that he wants to come inside to "interrogate" them.

The emergency shuttle has docked with the station! You have three minutes to board the emergency shuttle!

Isaac Kirkhope says, "Fuck it, the shuttle is here, you two can rot. Bastard traitors."

Alert! The shuttle is leaving in 10 seconds!

gotta catch 'em all