Goonhub
02-17-2013, 09:30 AM
The following is the story of Edison Lootin, the fun loving HoP who runs gambling rackets for ID upgrades.
Now, I started the round as a HoP and decided that I would do something special this round, a russian roulette game for a high access ID. I went around the station, gathering all the items I needed, some table parts, some metal, tools to hack the door and remote signalling devices so I could seal people inside. Everything is going great...until I start hacking the door...
Needless to say I had forgotten to pick up insulated gloves...I died from painful electric shock and lay dead in disposals for a while.
But this is not the end of the story my friends, this is only the beginning.
A lot of craziness was going down this round. Executions in the electric chair in the courtroom, executions in the gas chamber in the warehouse, people exploding into space owls, it was quite chaotic. But things didn't really pick up until the HoS Dolan decided to check in on the heads. Now, obviously I was dead and unable to respond so, worried, Dolan asked the AI to find me. At about that time Ken Klepto came flying out of the disposals chute. He walks into the main disposals room to find my body lying on the floor. Thinking he's just struck gold, having free access to the HoP's ID and all the stuff I was holding, he begins to strip me.
This is where things get interesting.
At exactly that moment, the AI does what Dolan requested and locates me. He sees my body lying on the floor with Ken standing over it, stripping it. He lets the HoS know this. Not knowing what to do, Ken jumps into the disposal unit and hides. The HoS shows up at disposals and finds my body. He picks up my stuff, which Ken hadn't had time to grab, and drags my body down to genetics. The AI bolts down disposals behind him as it knew Ken was still in there.
Ken is of course now a prime suspect for my murder and panics. He escapes from disposals the only way he knows how. The airlock. Now things get really interesting. The AI watches this and realises that Ken must be a changeling. Ken wasn't actually a changeling, but due to wrong place, wrong time was accused. I'm of course ghosting and laughing about this strange turn of events. I check on the HoS to see if I'm getting cloned yet so I can let everyone know that my death was simply incompetence and that Ken was innocent. Sadly, as I had been lying in disposals for quite some time by this point, I was too far gone to clone. So instead he takes me to robotics.
I'd just like to take this time to say that when being taken to genetics the HoS butted in line of another corpse waiting to be cloned. They decided this was ok as the other corpse was a guy who had electric chaired themselves.
So, now my body is in robotics. The Roboticist is braindead so the RD, Logan, decides to take his place for the time being. Logan was a great guy who I had given the helmet to earlier so he could make the electric chair now situated, and in great use, in the courtroom. He gets to work building a borg suit for me and I eagerly watch. I've already planned it out, I'll get him to name me the "Robotic HoP" and I will clear up this entire misunderstanding about my death and everything will be fine.
But there's just one simple problem;
Logan Bastion says, "I seem to have somehow lost the HoP's brain."
Logan lost my brain.
He genuinely LOST my brain.
Logan Bastion says, "It has mysteriously disappeared into thin air."
It just vanished from his hand. I honestly have no idea what happened and neither did he. I was watching the whole time and I still don't know where that thing went.
Anyway, Logan is accurately panicing a bit at this point.
Logan Bastion says, "This is highly annoying."
Logan Bastion exclaims, "Fuck, where did it go?!"
Logan Bastion asks, "Where the fuck did it go?"
I'm just puzzled about the whole situation, and slightly annoyed I'm not coming back. (But it is funny that I can't clear everything up)
Logan Bastion says, "Well the HoP seems to be staying dead as I have stupidly lost his brain."
So I start looking around the station again, pretty much accepting that I'm staying dead and prepared to watch the rest of the chaos around the station. Then something truly wonderful happens.
Kelvin Shaw [145.9] says, ":h Barman killed the HoP found his finger print on the breath mask of the HoP"
I cannot believe what I am seeing. My accidental death has caused so much paranoia and false accusations that it's just unbelievable. The best part is, right as this message was sent out, the barman was strapped to the electric chair...
Logan Bastion says, "And now I suppose I have a reason to set this off."
David Bailey says, "Whag, no"
David Bailey says, "I goog due mashg off in robogigsh you nerd"
Kelvin Shaw says, "David bailey killed the HoP"
Logan Bastion says, "This thing takes ages to kill."
DEAD: Ghost (Edison Lootin) says, "Hello Barman"
DEAD: Ghost (David Bailey) says, "Sup"
DEAD: Ghost (Edison Lootin) says, "This has been a funny round"
David didn't die a normal death though. He was gibbed and turned into a space owl...Because Wonkmin felt it needed to be done.
DEAD: Ghost (David Bailey) says, "Who knew the electric chair turns people into owls"
Things went a little quiet after that. And by quiet I mean the changeling uploaded a law to stop the AI tracking him and security ran around trying to catch actual traitors. Somebody set off the beaker/timer/igniter assembly full of infernite inside the execution chamber and somebody burned real good. Power finally got restored to normal (It was on and off all round) and a fog machine showed up outside medbay. People of course filled it with chocolate, wine and chicken soup. The usual stuff.
Then Dane grabbed my body, which was now nothing more than a skeleton, and dragged it into medbay. He analysed my vitals for some reason and dropped my body on the floor. He then ran into chemistry and told the medical doctor to leave my body because he was "Doing something". I quickly figured out what was going on. He had made some strange regent and was going to actually manage to bring me back. After everything that had happened, everything that had failed, I was finally going to be revived in the last possible way I could.
Or at least I would have if the asshole medical doctor hadn't shoved my corpse into the disposal unit and flushed it...*sigh.
Dane was suitably annoyed when he came back.
Dane Fisher stammers, "WWHHERRREE Issh Igg?!!"
Dane Fisher stammers, "II NEEEE IIgg!!"
Dane Fisher stammers, "AAHHHHHHHHH"
But, it's all ok. All is not lost. I track Dane as he runs to disposals to retrieve my corpse there. I fly off ahead to check on my body and make sure the crusher isn't in use. When I get there I'm confused. I only see two corpses. A greyshirt and a skeleton, but I know the skeleton isn't mine. It belonged to Ancient Potato who had died long ago (That story is best left to your imagination. It involved paper cuts and him pissing off the HoS) I'm confused at this point...where is my body?
Well I re-enter corpse to find out.
It's spinning.
Around and around.
In a pipe loop.
Somebody had built a pipe loop.
My body was trapped in a pipe loop.
*sigh
DEAD: Edison Lootin (as Unknown) gasps, "Somebody changed disposals to go in a loop"
DEAD: Edison Lootin (as Unknown) gasps, "my body is stuck in said loop"
DEAD: Edison Lootin (as Unknown) gasps, "I swear this round is just working against me getting revived..."
DEAD: Edison Lootin (as Unknown) gasps, "Too late to clone, my brain disappears, somebody disposals my body as it's getting injected with strange regent...not fair."
But, mercy smiles upon the less fortunate. The great owl god Wonkmin had seen my misfortune and granted me a second chance at life.
You hear a voice in your head...Your plight of unluckiness was noted by THE HOOTENING, the Great Space Owl. Rejoice in his splendour!
Now I, Kiara Lowe, grab a headset off of a braindead assistant, grab and ID off of a braindead roboticist and head to robotics. There, lying on the operating table, is my jumpsuit. Be praised to the great space owl, I am once again on station.
Kiara Lowe [145.9] exclaims, "I'm back baby!"
Kiara Lowe [145.9] says, "I, distant relative of the old HoP, am taking his place"
I board the now arrived shuttle and head home to rest. My work done, my adventure complete. I rejoice in the grace of the mighty space owl and sleep.
OOC: Readster: Praise the great space owl
OOC: Readster: For anyone curious, I, the HoP, killed myself
OOC: Wonkmin: an amazing round
OOC: Wonkmin: great job dudes
And to top it all off, not a single adminhelp of grief was reported.
Now, I started the round as a HoP and decided that I would do something special this round, a russian roulette game for a high access ID. I went around the station, gathering all the items I needed, some table parts, some metal, tools to hack the door and remote signalling devices so I could seal people inside. Everything is going great...until I start hacking the door...
Needless to say I had forgotten to pick up insulated gloves...I died from painful electric shock and lay dead in disposals for a while.
But this is not the end of the story my friends, this is only the beginning.
A lot of craziness was going down this round. Executions in the electric chair in the courtroom, executions in the gas chamber in the warehouse, people exploding into space owls, it was quite chaotic. But things didn't really pick up until the HoS Dolan decided to check in on the heads. Now, obviously I was dead and unable to respond so, worried, Dolan asked the AI to find me. At about that time Ken Klepto came flying out of the disposals chute. He walks into the main disposals room to find my body lying on the floor. Thinking he's just struck gold, having free access to the HoP's ID and all the stuff I was holding, he begins to strip me.
This is where things get interesting.
At exactly that moment, the AI does what Dolan requested and locates me. He sees my body lying on the floor with Ken standing over it, stripping it. He lets the HoS know this. Not knowing what to do, Ken jumps into the disposal unit and hides. The HoS shows up at disposals and finds my body. He picks up my stuff, which Ken hadn't had time to grab, and drags my body down to genetics. The AI bolts down disposals behind him as it knew Ken was still in there.
Ken is of course now a prime suspect for my murder and panics. He escapes from disposals the only way he knows how. The airlock. Now things get really interesting. The AI watches this and realises that Ken must be a changeling. Ken wasn't actually a changeling, but due to wrong place, wrong time was accused. I'm of course ghosting and laughing about this strange turn of events. I check on the HoS to see if I'm getting cloned yet so I can let everyone know that my death was simply incompetence and that Ken was innocent. Sadly, as I had been lying in disposals for quite some time by this point, I was too far gone to clone. So instead he takes me to robotics.
I'd just like to take this time to say that when being taken to genetics the HoS butted in line of another corpse waiting to be cloned. They decided this was ok as the other corpse was a guy who had electric chaired themselves.
So, now my body is in robotics. The Roboticist is braindead so the RD, Logan, decides to take his place for the time being. Logan was a great guy who I had given the helmet to earlier so he could make the electric chair now situated, and in great use, in the courtroom. He gets to work building a borg suit for me and I eagerly watch. I've already planned it out, I'll get him to name me the "Robotic HoP" and I will clear up this entire misunderstanding about my death and everything will be fine.
But there's just one simple problem;
Logan Bastion says, "I seem to have somehow lost the HoP's brain."
Logan lost my brain.
He genuinely LOST my brain.
Logan Bastion says, "It has mysteriously disappeared into thin air."
It just vanished from his hand. I honestly have no idea what happened and neither did he. I was watching the whole time and I still don't know where that thing went.
Anyway, Logan is accurately panicing a bit at this point.
Logan Bastion says, "This is highly annoying."
Logan Bastion exclaims, "Fuck, where did it go?!"
Logan Bastion asks, "Where the fuck did it go?"
I'm just puzzled about the whole situation, and slightly annoyed I'm not coming back. (But it is funny that I can't clear everything up)
Logan Bastion says, "Well the HoP seems to be staying dead as I have stupidly lost his brain."
So I start looking around the station again, pretty much accepting that I'm staying dead and prepared to watch the rest of the chaos around the station. Then something truly wonderful happens.
Kelvin Shaw [145.9] says, ":h Barman killed the HoP found his finger print on the breath mask of the HoP"
I cannot believe what I am seeing. My accidental death has caused so much paranoia and false accusations that it's just unbelievable. The best part is, right as this message was sent out, the barman was strapped to the electric chair...
Logan Bastion says, "And now I suppose I have a reason to set this off."
David Bailey says, "Whag, no"
David Bailey says, "I goog due mashg off in robogigsh you nerd"
Kelvin Shaw says, "David bailey killed the HoP"
Logan Bastion says, "This thing takes ages to kill."
DEAD: Ghost (Edison Lootin) says, "Hello Barman"
DEAD: Ghost (David Bailey) says, "Sup"
DEAD: Ghost (Edison Lootin) says, "This has been a funny round"
David didn't die a normal death though. He was gibbed and turned into a space owl...Because Wonkmin felt it needed to be done.
DEAD: Ghost (David Bailey) says, "Who knew the electric chair turns people into owls"
Things went a little quiet after that. And by quiet I mean the changeling uploaded a law to stop the AI tracking him and security ran around trying to catch actual traitors. Somebody set off the beaker/timer/igniter assembly full of infernite inside the execution chamber and somebody burned real good. Power finally got restored to normal (It was on and off all round) and a fog machine showed up outside medbay. People of course filled it with chocolate, wine and chicken soup. The usual stuff.
Then Dane grabbed my body, which was now nothing more than a skeleton, and dragged it into medbay. He analysed my vitals for some reason and dropped my body on the floor. He then ran into chemistry and told the medical doctor to leave my body because he was "Doing something". I quickly figured out what was going on. He had made some strange regent and was going to actually manage to bring me back. After everything that had happened, everything that had failed, I was finally going to be revived in the last possible way I could.
Or at least I would have if the asshole medical doctor hadn't shoved my corpse into the disposal unit and flushed it...*sigh.
Dane was suitably annoyed when he came back.
Dane Fisher stammers, "WWHHERRREE Issh Igg?!!"
Dane Fisher stammers, "II NEEEE IIgg!!"
Dane Fisher stammers, "AAHHHHHHHHH"
But, it's all ok. All is not lost. I track Dane as he runs to disposals to retrieve my corpse there. I fly off ahead to check on my body and make sure the crusher isn't in use. When I get there I'm confused. I only see two corpses. A greyshirt and a skeleton, but I know the skeleton isn't mine. It belonged to Ancient Potato who had died long ago (That story is best left to your imagination. It involved paper cuts and him pissing off the HoS) I'm confused at this point...where is my body?
Well I re-enter corpse to find out.
It's spinning.
Around and around.
In a pipe loop.
Somebody had built a pipe loop.
My body was trapped in a pipe loop.
*sigh
DEAD: Edison Lootin (as Unknown) gasps, "Somebody changed disposals to go in a loop"
DEAD: Edison Lootin (as Unknown) gasps, "my body is stuck in said loop"
DEAD: Edison Lootin (as Unknown) gasps, "I swear this round is just working against me getting revived..."
DEAD: Edison Lootin (as Unknown) gasps, "Too late to clone, my brain disappears, somebody disposals my body as it's getting injected with strange regent...not fair."
But, mercy smiles upon the less fortunate. The great owl god Wonkmin had seen my misfortune and granted me a second chance at life.
You hear a voice in your head...Your plight of unluckiness was noted by THE HOOTENING, the Great Space Owl. Rejoice in his splendour!
Now I, Kiara Lowe, grab a headset off of a braindead assistant, grab and ID off of a braindead roboticist and head to robotics. There, lying on the operating table, is my jumpsuit. Be praised to the great space owl, I am once again on station.
Kiara Lowe [145.9] exclaims, "I'm back baby!"
Kiara Lowe [145.9] says, "I, distant relative of the old HoP, am taking his place"
I board the now arrived shuttle and head home to rest. My work done, my adventure complete. I rejoice in the grace of the mighty space owl and sleep.
OOC: Readster: Praise the great space owl
OOC: Readster: For anyone curious, I, the HoP, killed myself
OOC: Wonkmin: an amazing round
OOC: Wonkmin: great job dudes
And to top it all off, not a single adminhelp of grief was reported.