Goonhub
10-07-2015, 03:56 PM
So I put together an autoloafer. I like loafing. It's a sickness. Anyways, that's the boring part. After a while of letting it go I decide to eject the loafcloud. I do the usual screaming, "Stand back!" I say, as people start dashing in to witness the spectacle. This isn't an extreme loafing, I'm not expecting much, so I don't even bother cutting off the control unit running the thing. What do I do? I press the button.
Then it hits me. The strangelet does, anyways. Yep. 1/100, I get a strangelet. An ER too. The autoloaf must have been pretty well timed, I think as I'm gasping for air, lamenting my stupidity for not setting up strangelet countermeasures. Luckily most strangelets fly out to space, I thought, and yes -- it did. It safely ejected itself; crisis averted. No worries, right? Well, except for the OTHER strangelet that decided today was the day I and others were to be reminded of the dangers of the loaf.
Then, of course, this lone strangelet loafs proceeds to wreck the station. The cold of space left many potential heroes to die in the shadow of the loaf until finally the detective, Jake Steel, manage to capture the monstrosity! Yes! The damage was done, but the worst was over. Jake Steel was a hero, and all was well -- until he slipped. RIP, dear hero. The loaf is a cruel thing; one can not contain it for long. I watched and wept as the station was continually ravaged by my shortsightedness, waiting for a hero to save the station from this dire menace! And huzzah! One arrived! As the loaf was working it's way to destroy telsci, evil vs evil, the hero dashed in and grabbed the loaf, breaking the chain of destruction laid upon the station! So who was this hero? A staff assistant? No. A clown? Nope! Behold the most epic visage of our hero!
![[Image: 9ef4567f1d.png]](http://puu.sh/kCkyM/9ef4567f1d.png)
Twas Albert, the Science Monkey!
![[Image: cef212e4a4.png]](http://puu.sh/kCkig/cef212e4a4.png)
And so the disaster ended. The monkey saved the lives of the living, and soothed my own damned soul. He held on to the Great Loaf until the shuttle was called, for as long as he could -- but all good things must come to an end.
![[Image: d9e3c86312.jpg]](http://puu.sh/kCkKh/d9e3c86312.jpg)
Good night sweet prince Albert; your efforts were not in vain. People actually made it aboard the shuttle and escaped with the changeling who undoubtedly appreciated the loafcloud. At least until it got it's arms knocked off by men and women armed with quark loaf.
The moral of this story? Loaf responsibly. Anyone can create loaf; but it takes true care to raise them properly so that they one day go on to not destroy the Universe.
Then it hits me. The strangelet does, anyways. Yep. 1/100, I get a strangelet. An ER too. The autoloaf must have been pretty well timed, I think as I'm gasping for air, lamenting my stupidity for not setting up strangelet countermeasures. Luckily most strangelets fly out to space, I thought, and yes -- it did. It safely ejected itself; crisis averted. No worries, right? Well, except for the OTHER strangelet that decided today was the day I and others were to be reminded of the dangers of the loaf.
Then, of course, this lone strangelet loafs proceeds to wreck the station. The cold of space left many potential heroes to die in the shadow of the loaf until finally the detective, Jake Steel, manage to capture the monstrosity! Yes! The damage was done, but the worst was over. Jake Steel was a hero, and all was well -- until he slipped. RIP, dear hero. The loaf is a cruel thing; one can not contain it for long. I watched and wept as the station was continually ravaged by my shortsightedness, waiting for a hero to save the station from this dire menace! And huzzah! One arrived! As the loaf was working it's way to destroy telsci, evil vs evil, the hero dashed in and grabbed the loaf, breaking the chain of destruction laid upon the station! So who was this hero? A staff assistant? No. A clown? Nope! Behold the most epic visage of our hero!
Twas Albert, the Science Monkey!
And so the disaster ended. The monkey saved the lives of the living, and soothed my own damned soul. He held on to the Great Loaf until the shuttle was called, for as long as he could -- but all good things must come to an end.
Good night sweet prince Albert; your efforts were not in vain. People actually made it aboard the shuttle and escaped with the changeling who undoubtedly appreciated the loafcloud. At least until it got it's arms knocked off by men and women armed with quark loaf.
The moral of this story? Loaf responsibly. Anyone can create loaf; but it takes true care to raise them properly so that they one day go on to not destroy the Universe.