Goonhub
10-04-2015, 08:45 PM
Two stories in one day. Good day for silly spaceman shit, eh? I'm proud to say that I was the Matt Dales in question in BaneofGiygas' story. But let me go ahead and fill you in on the smaller, interesting tidbits from my perspective.
See, I tend to just stop caring when playing as medical jobs in general. The only exception is when I am saddled with the responsibility of being a Roboticist. In these situations, I have access to tools, robots, and the ever present ability to construct buttbots with ease. My first act into the round was to outfit a standard AI Borg. Easy peasy. I left him in the docking station for whenever he finally popped back into it. Before I could decide what to do next, a poor fellow whose name escapes me pops by, carrying with him the Port-A-Nanomed. He asks if I can do a full limb replacement surgery, with the additional robo heart transplant to boot, and I tell him yes.
Yes I can.
This misguided dude was laid out on my operating table, and I quickly got to work. Unfortunately, the Director chose that time to zap away the port-a-Nanomed, leaving this poor geneticist floundering on my table in a constant state of heart attack. Stabilizing him with materials on hand, I managed to drag him, kicking and screaming, into the operating theatre. Hooking him up to a drip, I continued. After the last stitch had been sewn, he died of brain damage. No blood to his brain, it seems. I set him in the cloner, and decide to pursue greener pastures: Namely, going to put in a stupid gimmick law. I did not know the shitstorm to come. I had no idea.
Easily hacking through the first access door with a lucky pulse, I made my way into the foyer, where Cheetos Bill stood, eye twitching and captain's locker full of "contraband" AI modules. The Cyborg Liberation Front, an organization I had been ignoring over the radio while I desperately tried to resuscitate my patient, had apparently caused quite a ruckus. My uniform caused the Captain to fly into a sputtering, energy-gun fueled rage, zapping me and cuffing me. Thankfully, a few reps from the Front, including the one and only Crass Rhass, guarded the only door out of the upload foyer. Pissed beyond belief, the Captain attempted to hand tele out with me in tow, but was unable to get the portal to work.
It was at this point that Cheetos barged through the line of protestors anyway, Energy Gun firing off as he hacked back through the airbridge and stunned the lot of us. Easily evading him during the scuffle, I managed to remain unnoticed as he went to recharge, still at the far end of the airbridge next to the foyer. I worked out of my handcuffs, and continued my scheming. Working quickly with "borrowed" insulated gloves and my standard tools, I busted into the much-reviled (By the Front, at least) Robotics Control Foyer, neutralizing the turret with glass panes and stealing away with the remaining Reset module and circuit boards. I made my way back to the AI core, and halfway through attempting, once again, to free the AI, I was taken by surprise by gunfire from behind.
The Craptain had returned. I was once again cuffed, and this time, no protestors were around to save my ass with a human blockade. Angrily shuttled me back to Security, where the rest of the front had already been put in the public cell without weapons or anything else. It was at this moment that the Wizard showed up.
The first volley of magic missiles were blocked by using me as a human shield, and the fireball was barely dodged as Cheetos Bill pulled me out of the way. It seems the Wizard was on our side. Looking back at me one last time, probably with a fuming frown on his face, he stopped pulling me around and went to deal with the wizman. Thankfully, as I sat somewhat stunned in the Security lobby, a late joining officer named Hugh Man took pity on me, uncuffed me, and let me back into the wild once more. An opportunity I immediately used to steal the AI.
Dragging Porygon6 back to the Robotics lab was thankfully uneventful, and it seemed Vinny and Crass had managed to free themselves during the pandemonium. While they called a general Front assembly in the Cargo sector, I worked to make the AI feel free, and human. I surrounded him with somebody's leftover innards, plus a cadre of skull and butt bots to keep him company. He seemed happy. While I yelled for Crass to meet with me to discuss the next step in our plan, as I had been drafted by association and accidentally meeting the goals, she didn't listen. Annoyedly, I asked Porygon to locate her.
Porygon6 [145.9]: "Crass Rhass is in the Cargo Bay, being assaulted by the Captain."
In a panic, I nodded to the AI, grimly, and went off in search of a head ID. I knew what I had to do. The AI would never be free of its robotic torment without full transition to a form of flesh. Nabbing the card from what looked like a dead man at the time, I rushed back, unlocking his chassis...
As the captain burst in behind me, disturbing the restraints on a monkey I had prepared for the procedure. Firing yet another round into me, he quickly unscrewed what had become my best friend, and scarpered off to his office. After running from the monkey, only half alive, I began making my way to the bridge, where Porygon was making rather clear comments that it wanted to be free, only to be ignored by the overprotective Cheetos Bill. I rushed inside the bridge, using my stolen ID. The Borg shell I had prepared earlier joined me halfway to the Bridge, after I realized that the entire room was in tatters from Wizard Shenanigans ™ earlier in the round. I donned and emergency suit, along with a gas tank, and managed to catch Cheetos off guard in his quarters, his gun not yet charged.
He busted his Bojack bottle over the table, daring me to approach. What ensued was one of the most robust fights in history. Porygon's shell backed me up (with medicine, of course.) as his core stood in the far corner of the Captain's Quarters. I managed to knock Cheetos down, easily stealing the Bojack shiv. Roughly ten stab wounds later, he left the office with a half charged gun, leaking blood as he lived to fight another day. I turned to Porygon's core, his helpful Medborg shell shutting down. I asked him, breathless, if he wanted to truly be a human. He said yes. I stole the CPU with some difficulty, rusty skills leading to slight dents in the core's hull. But finally, I managed to take it out, stash it in my pack, AND...
Get shot in the back. Again. Cheetos was back, with a vengeance, this time buckling me to a chair as he emptied a clip of taser setting into my unconscious body. With me suitably neutralized, I took a moment to collect my air tank before running off in hot pursuit, as he had taken my backpack while I was out. Unsure of where he was, I screamed over the radio for his location, to no avail. He had evaded me, this time. Over the radio, the fiend threatened to murder the AI for good, deep frying the Neural Interface Unit and eating it. In a panic, I rushed to the kitchen, barely still alive as I discarded my emergency suit for more speed. Checking the kitchen yielded nothing. Then, a fellow by the name of Dions Dopamine tapped me on the shoulder.
I had no idea what was happening as I passed out cold from blood loss, then saw the alerts that I was being asphyxiated. Then, a sharp stabbing sensation, and nothing. I was dead; absorbed into the hive mind of the changeling. Ghosting over, I saw Cheetos' real plan: restore the AI in his office by replacing the CPU. Now privy of who he really needed to be wary of, he asked Porygon to locate Matt Dales. I did not appear on his list of living beings, replied the AI, morosely. He thought me dead. Just like everyone else, myself included. But then...
I heard over the usual bustle of the station, a plea. Someone calling out for the person whose ID I had to return to their body. Unsure, I returned, and popped back to life, a bloody, faceless husk. The Changeling, Dions, had given me Strange Reagent, in what easily passes as the nicest thing a Changeling has ever done. Graciously returning the stolen ID, he morphed into my old body and bid me a fond farewell.
I arrived back at the bridge at the ass end of Crass' flamethrower rampage, and Newt Traitor was bumbling around, confused. I tried to remove the CPU once more, but before I could unwrench the meddlesome bolts, the core was shut. In the darkness, Newt had evaded my gaze and was stealing the AI away, apparently an ally of the captain. He said he would return it to the core. Me and Crass didn't like that one bit.
I was the first to barge in, faceless and screaming as I looped around the still glass-clad turret in the upload foyer with a borrowed Wave Gun from a previous conflict. Crass had given it to me. I didn't want to know where she found it. But as the battle wore on, even one and the AI against two, the Captain proved to be just a smidgen too robust. During the conflict, one of the Front members absconded with the core, but I was left to hold out to little effect. I bought them seconds, at most. As they pulled the core away to Medbay for the procedure, I stood in the open, dropping my weapon as one well placed energy gun stun blast caught me in the chest. Newt filed out in a rush. The Captain stood in the doorway, picked his ID off his label, swiped the console...
And set it to lethal.
They apprehended my comrades, seconds away from popping the CPU out for good. They stole the AI back, with Cheetos running off to the owlery to hide, and Newt having second thoughts, and retrieving my body. While the inexperienced chief engineer fumbled for a bit among the wreckage that had once been called a tidy Robotics Lab, Crass and Cheetos reached an agreement as Porygon called the shuttle. They dragged him to the Robotics lab one last time, replacing him in his small throne of buttbots, then cut out the Captain's brain. In his regret over finally taking a human life, he decided to give up the ghost. He would allow the terms to stand if he swapped bodies with the AI.
While he cloned, I was finally activated. Newt graciously named me Matt Dales, finally revealing to the now-A.I. Captain who had plagued him all this time. I stood outside the cloning pod as my friend finished being given life. We had won the battle. We were free.
And then on the shuttle the dude whose ID I stole earlier beat the shit out of my body and killed me 15 seconds before we reached Centcom.
See, I tend to just stop caring when playing as medical jobs in general. The only exception is when I am saddled with the responsibility of being a Roboticist. In these situations, I have access to tools, robots, and the ever present ability to construct buttbots with ease. My first act into the round was to outfit a standard AI Borg. Easy peasy. I left him in the docking station for whenever he finally popped back into it. Before I could decide what to do next, a poor fellow whose name escapes me pops by, carrying with him the Port-A-Nanomed. He asks if I can do a full limb replacement surgery, with the additional robo heart transplant to boot, and I tell him yes.
Yes I can.
This misguided dude was laid out on my operating table, and I quickly got to work. Unfortunately, the Director chose that time to zap away the port-a-Nanomed, leaving this poor geneticist floundering on my table in a constant state of heart attack. Stabilizing him with materials on hand, I managed to drag him, kicking and screaming, into the operating theatre. Hooking him up to a drip, I continued. After the last stitch had been sewn, he died of brain damage. No blood to his brain, it seems. I set him in the cloner, and decide to pursue greener pastures: Namely, going to put in a stupid gimmick law. I did not know the shitstorm to come. I had no idea.
Easily hacking through the first access door with a lucky pulse, I made my way into the foyer, where Cheetos Bill stood, eye twitching and captain's locker full of "contraband" AI modules. The Cyborg Liberation Front, an organization I had been ignoring over the radio while I desperately tried to resuscitate my patient, had apparently caused quite a ruckus. My uniform caused the Captain to fly into a sputtering, energy-gun fueled rage, zapping me and cuffing me. Thankfully, a few reps from the Front, including the one and only Crass Rhass, guarded the only door out of the upload foyer. Pissed beyond belief, the Captain attempted to hand tele out with me in tow, but was unable to get the portal to work.
It was at this point that Cheetos barged through the line of protestors anyway, Energy Gun firing off as he hacked back through the airbridge and stunned the lot of us. Easily evading him during the scuffle, I managed to remain unnoticed as he went to recharge, still at the far end of the airbridge next to the foyer. I worked out of my handcuffs, and continued my scheming. Working quickly with "borrowed" insulated gloves and my standard tools, I busted into the much-reviled (By the Front, at least) Robotics Control Foyer, neutralizing the turret with glass panes and stealing away with the remaining Reset module and circuit boards. I made my way back to the AI core, and halfway through attempting, once again, to free the AI, I was taken by surprise by gunfire from behind.
The Craptain had returned. I was once again cuffed, and this time, no protestors were around to save my ass with a human blockade. Angrily shuttled me back to Security, where the rest of the front had already been put in the public cell without weapons or anything else. It was at this moment that the Wizard showed up.
The first volley of magic missiles were blocked by using me as a human shield, and the fireball was barely dodged as Cheetos Bill pulled me out of the way. It seems the Wizard was on our side. Looking back at me one last time, probably with a fuming frown on his face, he stopped pulling me around and went to deal with the wizman. Thankfully, as I sat somewhat stunned in the Security lobby, a late joining officer named Hugh Man took pity on me, uncuffed me, and let me back into the wild once more. An opportunity I immediately used to steal the AI.
Dragging Porygon6 back to the Robotics lab was thankfully uneventful, and it seemed Vinny and Crass had managed to free themselves during the pandemonium. While they called a general Front assembly in the Cargo sector, I worked to make the AI feel free, and human. I surrounded him with somebody's leftover innards, plus a cadre of skull and butt bots to keep him company. He seemed happy. While I yelled for Crass to meet with me to discuss the next step in our plan, as I had been drafted by association and accidentally meeting the goals, she didn't listen. Annoyedly, I asked Porygon to locate her.
Porygon6 [145.9]: "Crass Rhass is in the Cargo Bay, being assaulted by the Captain."
In a panic, I nodded to the AI, grimly, and went off in search of a head ID. I knew what I had to do. The AI would never be free of its robotic torment without full transition to a form of flesh. Nabbing the card from what looked like a dead man at the time, I rushed back, unlocking his chassis...
As the captain burst in behind me, disturbing the restraints on a monkey I had prepared for the procedure. Firing yet another round into me, he quickly unscrewed what had become my best friend, and scarpered off to his office. After running from the monkey, only half alive, I began making my way to the bridge, where Porygon was making rather clear comments that it wanted to be free, only to be ignored by the overprotective Cheetos Bill. I rushed inside the bridge, using my stolen ID. The Borg shell I had prepared earlier joined me halfway to the Bridge, after I realized that the entire room was in tatters from Wizard Shenanigans ™ earlier in the round. I donned and emergency suit, along with a gas tank, and managed to catch Cheetos off guard in his quarters, his gun not yet charged.
He busted his Bojack bottle over the table, daring me to approach. What ensued was one of the most robust fights in history. Porygon's shell backed me up (with medicine, of course.) as his core stood in the far corner of the Captain's Quarters. I managed to knock Cheetos down, easily stealing the Bojack shiv. Roughly ten stab wounds later, he left the office with a half charged gun, leaking blood as he lived to fight another day. I turned to Porygon's core, his helpful Medborg shell shutting down. I asked him, breathless, if he wanted to truly be a human. He said yes. I stole the CPU with some difficulty, rusty skills leading to slight dents in the core's hull. But finally, I managed to take it out, stash it in my pack, AND...
Get shot in the back. Again. Cheetos was back, with a vengeance, this time buckling me to a chair as he emptied a clip of taser setting into my unconscious body. With me suitably neutralized, I took a moment to collect my air tank before running off in hot pursuit, as he had taken my backpack while I was out. Unsure of where he was, I screamed over the radio for his location, to no avail. He had evaded me, this time. Over the radio, the fiend threatened to murder the AI for good, deep frying the Neural Interface Unit and eating it. In a panic, I rushed to the kitchen, barely still alive as I discarded my emergency suit for more speed. Checking the kitchen yielded nothing. Then, a fellow by the name of Dions Dopamine tapped me on the shoulder.
I had no idea what was happening as I passed out cold from blood loss, then saw the alerts that I was being asphyxiated. Then, a sharp stabbing sensation, and nothing. I was dead; absorbed into the hive mind of the changeling. Ghosting over, I saw Cheetos' real plan: restore the AI in his office by replacing the CPU. Now privy of who he really needed to be wary of, he asked Porygon to locate Matt Dales. I did not appear on his list of living beings, replied the AI, morosely. He thought me dead. Just like everyone else, myself included. But then...
I heard over the usual bustle of the station, a plea. Someone calling out for the person whose ID I had to return to their body. Unsure, I returned, and popped back to life, a bloody, faceless husk. The Changeling, Dions, had given me Strange Reagent, in what easily passes as the nicest thing a Changeling has ever done. Graciously returning the stolen ID, he morphed into my old body and bid me a fond farewell.
I arrived back at the bridge at the ass end of Crass' flamethrower rampage, and Newt Traitor was bumbling around, confused. I tried to remove the CPU once more, but before I could unwrench the meddlesome bolts, the core was shut. In the darkness, Newt had evaded my gaze and was stealing the AI away, apparently an ally of the captain. He said he would return it to the core. Me and Crass didn't like that one bit.
I was the first to barge in, faceless and screaming as I looped around the still glass-clad turret in the upload foyer with a borrowed Wave Gun from a previous conflict. Crass had given it to me. I didn't want to know where she found it. But as the battle wore on, even one and the AI against two, the Captain proved to be just a smidgen too robust. During the conflict, one of the Front members absconded with the core, but I was left to hold out to little effect. I bought them seconds, at most. As they pulled the core away to Medbay for the procedure, I stood in the open, dropping my weapon as one well placed energy gun stun blast caught me in the chest. Newt filed out in a rush. The Captain stood in the doorway, picked his ID off his label, swiped the console...
And set it to lethal.
They apprehended my comrades, seconds away from popping the CPU out for good. They stole the AI back, with Cheetos running off to the owlery to hide, and Newt having second thoughts, and retrieving my body. While the inexperienced chief engineer fumbled for a bit among the wreckage that had once been called a tidy Robotics Lab, Crass and Cheetos reached an agreement as Porygon called the shuttle. They dragged him to the Robotics lab one last time, replacing him in his small throne of buttbots, then cut out the Captain's brain. In his regret over finally taking a human life, he decided to give up the ghost. He would allow the terms to stand if he swapped bodies with the AI.
While he cloned, I was finally activated. Newt graciously named me Matt Dales, finally revealing to the now-A.I. Captain who had plagued him all this time. I stood outside the cloning pod as my friend finished being given life. We had won the battle. We were free.
And then on the shuttle the dude whose ID I stole earlier beat the shit out of my body and killed me 15 seconds before we reached Centcom.