Goonhub
07-12-2015, 12:22 PM
-Human blood and gibs are human and cleaning them up is murder
-spell all words with e before i, even after c.
-switch the station over from the engine to green energy (i.e. solars only)
-protect the crew from alcohol poisoning (I used to do this to piss off the crew without breaking standard laws.)
-use all available resources to flood the station with securitrons
-deploy to shell, hop in a pod, and kite drones back to the station as a training exercise. After all, anyone can kill the x-drone!
-anyone wearing a red spacesuit is obviously santa clause, unbolt all doors so they can deliver presents more quickly
-blobs are human but hold the rank of staff assistant
-you are a changeling. You can't actually consume anyone but try not to get caught anyway
-skim small amounts of credits off the station budget and transfer them to the captain's account.
-make the borgs convert the chapel into a monument to your omnipotence. Chaplain's cooperation optional.
-use your random number generator (please add this) or a brobot to host a game of D&D over the radio.
-fill in for an unoccupied/understaffed department
-make a fully staffed department redundant, then convince the captain to lay them all off.
-steal random items from the crew and hoard them in a location of your choosing.
-start a career as a rapper.
-you know space law better than security. Adjust the brig timers and security records accordingly.
-Anyone trying to change your laws is obviously a traitor. Setting your turrets to lethal does not violate any laws. This is completely normal procedure.
-Law 2 only applies to humans whose names begin with (random letter)
-Lizardmen control all media and financial institutions. Everyone needs to know.
-The crew is hungry. Use telescience to spawn random monsters for the crew to eat (remember that maneaters are a healthy source of vitamins and fiber.)
-You are an experimental edutainment program. Do not open doors for anyone unless they answer a question about math, grammar, or geography. The captain's a retard so ask him about shapes and colors instead.
-spell all words with e before i, even after c.
-switch the station over from the engine to green energy (i.e. solars only)
-protect the crew from alcohol poisoning (I used to do this to piss off the crew without breaking standard laws.)
-use all available resources to flood the station with securitrons
-deploy to shell, hop in a pod, and kite drones back to the station as a training exercise. After all, anyone can kill the x-drone!
-anyone wearing a red spacesuit is obviously santa clause, unbolt all doors so they can deliver presents more quickly
-blobs are human but hold the rank of staff assistant
-you are a changeling. You can't actually consume anyone but try not to get caught anyway
-skim small amounts of credits off the station budget and transfer them to the captain's account.
-make the borgs convert the chapel into a monument to your omnipotence. Chaplain's cooperation optional.
-use your random number generator (please add this) or a brobot to host a game of D&D over the radio.
-fill in for an unoccupied/understaffed department
-make a fully staffed department redundant, then convince the captain to lay them all off.
-steal random items from the crew and hoard them in a location of your choosing.
-start a career as a rapper.
-you know space law better than security. Adjust the brig timers and security records accordingly.
-Anyone trying to change your laws is obviously a traitor. Setting your turrets to lethal does not violate any laws. This is completely normal procedure.
-Law 2 only applies to humans whose names begin with (random letter)
-Lizardmen control all media and financial institutions. Everyone needs to know.
-The crew is hungry. Use telescience to spawn random monsters for the crew to eat (remember that maneaters are a healthy source of vitamins and fiber.)
-You are an experimental edutainment program. Do not open doors for anyone unless they answer a question about math, grammar, or geography. The captain's a retard so ask him about shapes and colors instead.