Goonhub
01-20-2013, 02:25 AM
Harvey Barrelchest and myself teamed up as artifact-research buddies to figure out the bold new world of artifact science.
A radiation storm hits.
We have no maintenance access as scientists, and thus we run into chemistry to hide in the O2 locker. We open it and learn it is occupied by Valterak Somethingorother. By now the radstorm is happening and all three of us are getting filled with radiation, so we dive into the waste bin and send ourselves down disposals.
While we're in there figuring out which mutations we have, Harvey (aka Lainge) realizes that there are now tons of artifacts for us to research. So we go hunting for artifacts.
We find maybe fifteen and line them up outside the artifact lab, then drag them in one-by-one and split up, testing them on the xray machine and electrode thing. Most are neat but impractical and run out of charge quickly after activation.
Harvey is out looking for more when one activates from X-rays. I take it out and touch it and it 'flays me open', goring me for tons of brute and knocking me unconscious.
I think this is already the best artifact ever except that in five seconds I explode and become a cyborg.
After this, Harvey and myself now run around the station with this artifact in tow. People eagerly run up and touch it and are flayed open and robotsploded while their graysuited peers look on in horror and fascination. It becomes a big hit on the escape shuttle.
![[Image: pGvu0VB.png]](http://i.imgur.com/pGvu0VB.png)
After this round, I spawn in as a traitor scientist. I go anonymously donate a fogmachine to chemistry and spend the rest on floor closets. There's a lot of talk on the radio about an election between an annoying-sounding artifact named Smooth Artifact and a cyborg called Badger. They are jousting politically for the role of Station President.
I brew some bombs and attach remote signalers to all of them. I put them in floor closets, then when I run out of floor closets, personal lockers. I distribute these around the station.
I hold in my hand the radio signaler which will signal a Doctor Strangelove-style ballistic bisection of the station. I radio and let the crew know that if Smooth Artifact doesn't win the election, heads are gonna roll.
A bevy of rebellious votes for Badger-Borg rolls in over the radio, so I remind the crew of what they have done to themselves and hit the switch.
![[Image: xx5bgvW.png]](http://i.imgur.com/xx5bgvW.png)
In the wake of this terrorist act, public fear of the Smooth Artifact party's power grows, and the election is won handedly. However, its roots in fear later betray it as the rebellious Badger-Borg hegemony takes to arms and rigs the next election by force.
A radiation storm hits.
We have no maintenance access as scientists, and thus we run into chemistry to hide in the O2 locker. We open it and learn it is occupied by Valterak Somethingorother. By now the radstorm is happening and all three of us are getting filled with radiation, so we dive into the waste bin and send ourselves down disposals.
While we're in there figuring out which mutations we have, Harvey (aka Lainge) realizes that there are now tons of artifacts for us to research. So we go hunting for artifacts.
We find maybe fifteen and line them up outside the artifact lab, then drag them in one-by-one and split up, testing them on the xray machine and electrode thing. Most are neat but impractical and run out of charge quickly after activation.
Harvey is out looking for more when one activates from X-rays. I take it out and touch it and it 'flays me open', goring me for tons of brute and knocking me unconscious.
I think this is already the best artifact ever except that in five seconds I explode and become a cyborg.
After this, Harvey and myself now run around the station with this artifact in tow. People eagerly run up and touch it and are flayed open and robotsploded while their graysuited peers look on in horror and fascination. It becomes a big hit on the escape shuttle.
After this round, I spawn in as a traitor scientist. I go anonymously donate a fogmachine to chemistry and spend the rest on floor closets. There's a lot of talk on the radio about an election between an annoying-sounding artifact named Smooth Artifact and a cyborg called Badger. They are jousting politically for the role of Station President.
I brew some bombs and attach remote signalers to all of them. I put them in floor closets, then when I run out of floor closets, personal lockers. I distribute these around the station.
I hold in my hand the radio signaler which will signal a Doctor Strangelove-style ballistic bisection of the station. I radio and let the crew know that if Smooth Artifact doesn't win the election, heads are gonna roll.
A bevy of rebellious votes for Badger-Borg rolls in over the radio, so I remind the crew of what they have done to themselves and hit the switch.
In the wake of this terrorist act, public fear of the Smooth Artifact party's power grows, and the election is won handedly. However, its roots in fear later betray it as the rebellious Badger-Borg hegemony takes to arms and rigs the next election by force.