Goonhub
03-07-2015, 01:21 PM
The captain took a surplus crate and got a clown car in his office. A fake syndie put the station on high alert, so several of us rushed for the cap's quarters to check on him and grab the pinpointer, including a second clown (who had already beaten a third clown in a clown off) and a janitor. The janitor and clown charged in and I stayed on the bridge and set it on lockdown. I did not get to see what happened for the next five goddamn minutes, but I got to hear it.
For the next five minutes, the captain clown, clown clown and janitor battled it out for control of the car. Every time, every single time one of the clowns took control they immediately crashed and restarted the battle. The janitor held his own with several cleaner grenades. From outside, I waited for a clear victor to emerge. The grenades spewing foam, squeaky shoes, and repeated bone-crunching crashes as commentary while the AI described what was happening.
And in the end - silence.
Somehow, all three managed to end up in the back of the car. I walked in and dragged the thing to security without fuss.
Fucking clowns.
For the next five minutes, the captain clown, clown clown and janitor battled it out for control of the car. Every time, every single time one of the clowns took control they immediately crashed and restarted the battle. The janitor held his own with several cleaner grenades. From outside, I waited for a clear victor to emerge. The grenades spewing foam, squeaky shoes, and repeated bone-crunching crashes as commentary while the AI described what was happening.
And in the end - silence.
Somehow, all three managed to end up in the back of the car. I walked in and dragged the thing to security without fuss.
Fucking clowns.