A Declaration Deploring Disestablished, Drunken Detectives

[BaneOfGiygas]

I'm fairly new around here, at least compared to most of the other folks, so my idea of Goonstation tone hasn't really been cemented yet, and I keep getting mixed messages on whether or not the Detective is actually expected to be a detective, or if it's lime the Janitor in that no one expects them to actually do their job because it's redundant/largely useless and instead expects them to run around doing whatever inane shenanigans they think of.