Asstruments

[monty]

Instruments with asses in them. For example, the harmonicass:

I have prepared fart songs and fart noises to accompany each asstrument. The resources I've finished are all in a Dropbox folder, viewable by the public for all to enjoy!

This is a work in progress. I dug through the 4407 release trying to find the sprites for instruments, but couldn't find them; I suspect they weren't implemented at that time. Therefore, the only sprite I've completed is the "floor" sprite for the harmonicass, featured above. If someone can send me instruments.dmi or whatever sprite sheet they're in, as well as the mob.dmi "held" sprites, I will draw asses on and in the other instruments.

At time of writing, all I've completed aside from that are .ogg resources - yes, fart music, including a farty remix of the Epic Sax Guy bit.

Below is a list of the asstruments, a link to the subfolder containing their resources, and a list of those resources. Every .ogg file is all normalized and equalized and noise-removal'd and all that other good shit, so they're all the same volume and they all sound good.

Sassophone:
"The romantic qualities of this instrument have been diminished somewhat by the ass lodged in it."

• sassophone_runaway.ogg is the Epic Sax Guy riff, but with fart samples. I am proud of it. Much like the sassophone, it gets greasy towards the end.
  
• sassophone_touhou.ogg is a farty remix of "Night of Nights," a Touhou character's theme song. The file is from an unrelated project I did years ago for a remix competition site. It is here in lieu of the Baker Street riff, because that song is (by design?) really difficult to fart.

The saxophone also plays Careless Whisper, and both times I've tried farting that song have yielded unimpressive results. Maybe someone else can do it better!

Harmonicass:
"You can't blow in it, but you will."

• harmonicass_C5.ogg is the harmonica's riff played by a butt. It's at C5 and ready to be pitch-shifted like all the other instruments. If that needs to be done manually (i.e. I need to provide pitch-shifted sound files myself), let me know.
  
• harmonicass_item.png is the item sprite. It is a .png file with transparency, modified from Asspie.png on the wiki. Should be ready to import into the .dmi sheet, then, right?

I think the pitch-shifting will provide sufficient variety to the harmonicass, but if that turns out not to be the case, I have many, many more farts in my arsenal.

Butt horn (name undecided!):
"Made in Canada!"

• bikehorn_#, 1 through 6, are all different fart noises for the horn to make. If that variety alone isn't enough, pitch-shifting ought to fix that.

In what is definitely my favorite dilemma ever, I can't decide if the item's sprite should be a horn coming out of a butt, or a butt coming out of a horn.

Vuvuzelass:
"An asslike instrument? With an ass in it? Who did this, and why?"
Syndicate variant: "Time to start some shit."

• vuvuzelass_C5 is a sound clip of Jim Norton farting through a vuvuzela on the Opie and Anthony Show.

I feel like just the one sound file is underwhelming, even if it gets pitch-shifted. The syndicate vuvuzelass should definitely get its own unique sound, either a megafart or a maddening cacophony of farts. What do you guys think?

If I have one fear about asstruments, it is that they will be too popular. Thankfully, their availability will be limited somewhat by the fact that only a handful of instruments spawn on the station, although more may certainly become available as a round progresses.